Playing Pretend

by Bester, Tamsyn

I huffed when he didn’t reply, and continued on to the guest bedroom. I found my bordering-on-indecent little black dress, a necessity in any modern woman’s arsenal, and my highest pair of heels. Caleb had the audacity to assume he had some right to be concerned, and even go so far as to have me followed, but I was going to prove to him that he was wrong. I might have agreed to help him, but that in no way meant I answered to him. In fact, I hadn’t answered to anyone in a really long time, and I wasn’t about to start now.

  GIRLS NIGHT OUT was a disaster, and my Friday night was officially a bust. I stared at my two love-struck friends, and wondered why I thought they were the best choice for the plan I’d had in mind. I guess it no longer mattered though, because shortly after we’d arrived, Brian and Landon had shown up, and that shot my plan to shit. While Aaliyah and Landon flirted without shame, and Annabelle looked about ready to bang Brian right there amidst the crowd, I got stuck talking to some investment banker named Eugene. He was thirty-three years old but already had a widows peak and had gone grey prematurely when he was twenty-six. That was after he married and divorced his high school sweetheart, and had an affair with a woman fifteen years his senior. The guy wasn’t even drunk and he’d told me his whole life story, making me wish that I was drunk just so that I wouldn’t have to listen.

  “So, what is it that you do?” he asked, sipping his cheap whiskey and soda (seriously?).

  I stared at him, and tried to recall what he’d just asked me. When I looked over his shoulder, I saw that Alfie was still standing by the door watching us. He’d stopped trying to be unimposing an hour ago. I sighed, accepting defeat.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, looking back at Eugene. “But my friend over there is calling me, and I have to go, but it was nice meeting you.”

  I was up and out of my seat before he could reply, and walked towards Aaliyah and Annabelle.

  “I’m off,” I told them, pulling at the hem of my dress. I suddenly felt a little underdressed and uncomfortable. “I’ll see you girls at the office on Monday.”

  “You can’t go,” said Aaliyah. She barely separated herself from Landon, and from the glassy look in her eyes it was clear that she’d had a little too much to drink.

  “It’s fine, I’m just going to have Alfie take me back to Caleb’s.”

  “Are you sure?” asked Annabelle, smiling from her spot on Brian’s lap. “The party’s just started.”

  Uh, no, it hadn’t, but I wasn’t about to deny my friends a good night out, even if mine had been an epic fail. In fact, I’m pretty sure it broke the “failure” scale.

  “You girls have fun,” I hugged Aaliyah, and blew Annabelle a kiss over the table. “I’m wiped anyway.”

  I waved goodbye, watching as they went back to their men, and stopped when I came face-to-face with Alfie.

  “Okay, big guy,” I acquiesced. “Take me home.”

  He grunted (I think) and then followed me outside. The bar had a ‘no paparazzi’ policy so I was grateful that I didn’t have to worry about being accosted. After the day, and subsequent evening I’d had, there was no telling what I’d do if some random guy shoved a camera in my face.

  The drive back to the penthouse was quick, and I took my shoes off on the elevator ride up. The doors opened, and after I’d bid goodnight to my shadow, a.k.a Alfie, I started down the hallway to the guest bedroom.

  “Did you have fun?”

  I shrieked, and spun around, my hand on my chest. Caleb was standing in the hallway just outside his bedroom doors, his ink-covered arms folded across his chest. Dressed in cargo shorts, and a navy polo shirt, he looked more country club than he did C.E.O, and I had to admit that it suited him.

  “Don’t do that!” I hissed. “Do you want me to die of a heart attack at twenty-three?”

  He didn’t reply.

  “I thought you were in the Hamptons.”

  “I was.” He stepped closer. His expression was both guarded, and a little amused. God, this man drove me crazy like no one else could, and he got under my skin without even trying.

  My brows dipped, and I checked the time on my phone.

  1 a.m.

  “You left there at 11 p.m.?”

  “Midnight, actually. Alfie told me you went out, tried to pick up a guy, and I figured I could resolve your little rebellion if I apologized in person.”

  “I danced with one guy, and you felt the need to come back to the city because of that?”

  He shrugged. “You were trying to get my attention, and now you have it.”

  My mouth popped open. “Are you shitting me?”

  Nothing.

  “You arrogant son of a bitch,” I said. “What made you think it was about you? What if I just wanted to have a night out with friends?”

  Caleb tilted his head. “Did you go out just to have a good time?”

  I lifted my chin. “Yes, I did, so you wasted your time coming all the way here.”

  With a heavy exhalation, Caleb pinched his bottom lip between his thumb and his forefinger, and then said, “It would have been a waste of time if you were telling the truth, but you’re not, so…”

  “And pray tell, why would I go out just to get your attention?”

  I folded my arms across my chest, and smirked with a hint of arrogance. He was bluffing. He had to be.

  “Because you’re angry with me,” he replied. “You figured you’d go out with the girls, have some fun, dance with someone else knowing Alfie would see it, and report back to me. But,” he tucked a strand of my curled hair behind my ear, and I struggled not to find it patronizing, “Your plans were blown to shit when Landon and Brian showed up, taking Aaliyah and Annabelle’s attention.”

  I gave him a look. How the hell did he...?

  Thanks to my sobriety it didn’t take long for me to figure it out. My eyes widened when it clicked.

  “You,” I breathed, taking a step back. My mind flashed back to the start of the evening, when Landon and Brian only showed up a mere forty-five minutes after we’d arrived. “You told them where to find us.”

  “I may have mentioned something to them, yes, but -”

  I shook my head, cutting Caleb off. “There is no ‘but’ here, Caleb. You screwed up, and all you’ve done is prove how manipulative you are when a situation isn’t playing out in your favor.”

  “It wasn’t like that,” he insisted, reaching for me. I moved further away from him.

  “It never is with you, is it? You probably thought I was just another one-night-stand who got clingy, and that’s why you ran.”

  “We agreed it was one night, Kadence.” His rebuttal was lame, and so incredibly weak, but I understood that to him it was valid and perhaps if I were drunk I would have bought it.

  “We did, and I wasn’t aware that I gave you the impression I wanted more. Is it because I stayed afterwards?”

  I waited for Caleb’s response, but again, he stayed quiet.

  Yeah.

  I was done with that.

  With this.

  “Well,” I started walking backwards. “This has been fun, but I’m beat. Sayonara.” I saluted him, quite sarcastically I might add, and whirled around. Of course I wasn’t as unaffected by how he’d treated me as I was pretending to be, but I was putting on a brave face, at least until I was alone.

  Just when I thought I was in the clear, Caleb snuck his arm around my waist, and lifted me off the floor. I shrieked, my legs flailing wildly making my dress slide up.

  “Put me down!”

  Caleb grunted when the heel of my foot made contact with his shin, but didn’t lower me. Instead, he turned around and headed towards his bedroom.

  “You can’t just dismiss me,” he said, his voice gruff.

  “Why?” I twisted in his arm and dug my nails into his forearm until a hiss fell from his lips. “You dismissed me.”

  He let out an inarticulate sound from inside his throat before spinning around, and pinning me to the wall.

  “I hurt your feelings,�
�� he observed. His eyes traveled over my face, down my throat, and when he brought them back up to meet mine, that all-too-familiar tingle started deep inside my belly.

  I rubbed my thighs together, but wasn’t discreet enough about it. Caleb saw the movement, and he licked his lips.

  I wanted to be those lips, so very badly.

  “Quite the observation skills you’ve got there, Einstein.”

  “Don’t you know that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit?”

  “Don’t you know it’s an asshole move to screw someone and then tell her it was a mistake?”

  Our eyes locked, and for that brief flash of time I wasn’t aware of anything but the places his body touched mine.

  Without much warning, Caleb brought his hands to my waist, and lifted me up. Wrapping my legs around his hips was instinctual, and my current position couldn’t be helped unless I wanted to fall on my butt. I sucked in a startled breath when his fingers dug into the exposed flesh of my thighs, and caught the flash in his blue eyes as he discovered my lack of underwear.

  He hummed, arching his neck to look up at me. “Tell me again how nothing you did tonight was to get my attention.”

  I lowered my head, tightening my grip on Caleb’s shoulders for leverage. “Tell me again that you think last night was a mistake.”

  “You’re not letting go of that are you?”

  I stared at Caleb for a moment, searching his eyes for genuine contrition. I was oddly relieved to find it, but still felt the sting of his words from earlier that morning.

  “What is it they say? ‘Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorned’.”

  It was Caleb’s turn to stare, and the lucidity of his gaze made me shift in his arms. He squeezed my supple flesh, a silent warning to stay still.

  “What I don’t get,” he sighed, “Is why I’m willing to burn in Hell, if it meant I got one more night with you.”

  My heart stuttered, and my mind wanted to stutter right alongside it, but the little voice in my head reminded me that they were just words, and without the actions to back them up they meant nothing.

  The silence crackled between us, igniting my pulse, my skin, my desire. That told me it was time to change tack, and amidst everything I was thinking, and feeling, I could only come up with one way to do that.

  “Where’s Brae?” I asked quietly, hoping that mentioning her would stifle the intensity with which Caleb was looking at me.

  “She’s with a friend,” he replied gruffly.

  “Your ‘friend’ from the photographs?”

  Caleb hesitated, and the flames inside me dulled to a low roar, doused by disappointment and my indefensible sense of betrayal.

  “Put me down, Caleb.”

  “No. Not until you hear me out.”

  “You have nothing to say that I want to hear.”

  I was being stubborn, but I refused to be trampled on. A great night of sex wasn’t worth that, not ever.

  “Too bad,” replied Caleb. “You’re going to listen to me anyway.” His hands tightened, and I couldn’t help but squirm. Controlling my physical responses to the feel of Caleb’s hands on me was proving to be far more challenging than staying angry with him.

  “Her name is Sarah,” he started. I shook my head, and tried to push us away from the wall, but that only seemed to add to Caleb’s determination to explain himself to me. He closed the miniscule space between us, and pressed me harder against the wall. In response, I gripped his biceps, and dug my nails into his exposed flesh. He grunted, the sound reverberating between us like a pinball caught in a pinball machine.

  “Shut up,” I bit out. “I’m not interested in hearing about your newest conquest or -”

  “She’s a lesbian.”

  I snapped my mouth closed, and narrowed my eyes.

  “She’s also my Father’s care-giver, and a very good friend. Nothing more.”

  “I don’t care,” I replied quickly.

  Caleb pursed his lips. “You care, and so do I. I wouldn’t hurt you that way.”

  I swallowed, and diverted my gaze, only to be surprised when Caleb lifted my chin with his hand. His strength didn’t waver, despite only carrying the brunt of my weight with one arm.

  “I know I hurt you this morning, and I’m sorry, Kadence. I freaked out, and I handled it all wrong.”

  I exhaled, my breath colliding with Caleb’s, but didn’t respond. I didn’t want to say that it was all okay, because it wasn’t, and in the long run there was no way to know if Caleb wouldn’t do it again.

  “Talk to me,” he pleaded, his voice quiet and imploring. “How can I fix it? I hate that you’re still angry with me.”

  “You can’t,” I told him. “What’s done is done, and like you said, it was a mistake. It never should have happened.”

  Caleb straightened, his blue eyes penetrating, and somewhat harder than before. He leaned in, and if it hadn’t been for the wall behind my head I would have moved away. Unfortunately, though, I was trapped, and while my mind urged me to ask Caleb to let me go, my body was unwilling to move from my place against the wall, and in Caleb’s arms. I was a walking contradiction on every level, and all because I wanted Caleb when I knew it wasn’t going to do me any good. Nothing good could come from this.

  “It wasn’t a mistake.”

  Caleb made that statement sound like a promise, one that could easily lead to the obliteration of every hope that was nestled deep between the crevices of my heart—hopes belonging to a foolish seventeen-year-old girl who didn’t know any better. Now though, I did know better, so why was it so difficult to do the right thing and step away?

  I opened my mouth, ready to argue, but the idea was stopped in its’ tracks when Caleb captured my mouth with his. I resisted, I swear I did, but not even a bite to his bottom lip stopped him. So I did the next best thing, and slapped him.

  Caleb recoiled, and touched his cheek where his flesh reddened, slowly revealing the imprint of my small, but very capable, hand. I expected him to drop me right there, and perhaps even yell, but he once again proved that he was one step ahead.

  He lowered his hand, his chest rising slowly, his nostrils flaring. Our eyes stayed locked, but I was very much aware of what his hand was doing. At least I thought I did.

  It disappeared from my peripheral, and without warning made contact with my bare butt cheek. I cried out, shocked.

  “Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it,” murmured Caleb, the challenge burning bright in his eyes.

  “What makes you think I can’t take it,” I retorted, wrapping my hands around Caleb’s thick neck. I pressed my thumbnails into his skin, and dragged them down until I saw the red lines in the wake of my fingers.

  Caleb swallowed, and I felt the proof of just how turned on he was between my legs. His fingers slid along my thighs, and I made out a grunt when he discovered that I was no less turned on than he was.

  “I have no doubt you can.”

  Those were the last coherent words either of us spoke. We became hurried, and almost violent with the urge to rip off each other’s clothes. I’d always wondered what people meant by ‘angry-hate’ sex, and why getting so brutally physical on such an intimate level made it so much more intense.

  Now I knew, and God, was it crazy. I clawed at Caleb’s skin, taking pleasure in the way he hissed with gritted teeth, and he responded in kind with several nips to my shoulder, and slaps to my butt. Somewhere I registered that we should stop, that I shouldn’t have allowed it to go that far in the first place, but everything was silenced by the feeling of Caleb’s body taking over mine.

  “This doesn’t mean anything,” I breathed out, whimpering when Caleb hit a particular spot. I was close to that edge, the same one Caleb had introduced me to only twenty-four hours ago, and right then I wanted to fall more than I wanted to stop. It was reckless, and the exact opposite of everything I told myself I should do.

  “The hell it doesn’t.”

&n
bsp; Caleb took ahold of my thigh, and moved my leg so that it was resting over his shoulder. The slight change in position allowed him to penetrate deeper.

  “You’re right,” I conceded between breathy moans. I brought my hands up to Caleb’s face, watching with rapt fascination at how his features changed. “But all it means is that we’re going to burn in Hell together.”

  THE BED DIPPED, and I stirred. I was too tired to open my eyes, but I knew it was Caleb. His cologne mixed with the clean scent of his shower gel gave him away.

  “It’s too early,” I mumbled, trying to roll away. My responses were sluggish from exhaustion, so when Caleb pinned me to the bed I didn’t bother resisting.

  “Too bad,” replied Caleb. His voice was hushed, and a little raspy. “Is there a reason I woke up alone?”

  I sighed, and pried my eyes open. Caleb’s face was partly obscured by the shadows created by the slow rising sun, but it was clear that he was unhappy about something.

  “I didn’t think you’d notice,” I replied, trying for honesty rather than derision. It was far too early for that.

  Caleb pursed his lips, and slowly lowered himself onto me, resting his forearms on either side of my head. He started sifting his fingers through my hair, making my eyes flutter.

  “I deserve that, but I thought we cleared this all up last night.”

  He pressed his fingers against my scalp, and I exhaled. I wasn’t sure if he was doing it to distract me, but I was enjoying it nonetheless.

  “We didn’t clear anything up,” I breathed out. “You just shut me up with your dick again.”

  “You weren’t complaining,” he countered. “In fact, I think I remember you begging me to take you harder.”

  I slowly opened my eyes again, and found Caleb’s azure gaze fixed on my face with intent, and warmth.

  “It’s not my fault you’re so…” – I searched my mind for the right word that wouldn’t give Caleb any reason to become cockier than he was – “Distracting.”

  “As much as I’d like to remind you of all the dirty words you actually used to refer to my dick, I’m more interested in knowing why you’re in the guest bedroom, and not in mine.”