Tainted by Crazy

by Abby Mccarthy

  “And the bartending?” he asked between mouthfuls. For a moment, I watched his mouth move. I couldn't help but remember how those lips felt against mine.

  He raised his eyebrows at me, willing me to answer. “I like it just fine. It’s quick cash.”

  “Is that what you always wanted to do?”

  I chewed on that for a minute, “It’s fine,” I responded dryly.

  “Fine? Huh, Maple. That wasn't the question. If you could do one thing that would make you happier than anything, what would it be?”

  “Wow, this is some serious talk over breakfast,” I tried to change the subject, not really sure why I felt so uncomfortable. It could have been that most men I dated wanted to talk about themselves. Wait, dated? Friends, I told myself.

  Luckily, I didn’t have to stall anymore because my phone rang and I jumped up to answer so quickly you’d think my bum was on fire.

  “Hello,” I answered.

  “Hey,” Sasha’s voice greeted me on the other end. “My babysitter canceled this morning, and I have a doctor’s appointment for my birth control shot. I’d bring Delilah, but the last time I did, she cried the entire time.”

  I cut her off, “Say no more. I told you if you ever need help, I’m here.”

  “Are you sure?” she asked.

  “I’m sure, I have the day off, so you take your time. Go do something for you. I got this.”

  “Oh, Maple you’re a lifesaver. I’ll be over in fifteen.”

  I hit end on the phone and took my plate to the sink. Rys stood up and loaded his plate with more food. I smirked at him and got a shrug and then, “What? I’m a man who works, and burns a lot of calories. Plus, it’s delicious,” he grinned “So, the phone call?” he asked. I blinked and chastised myself for imagining him burning calories.

  “Oh, Delilah is coming over, Sasha’s little girl. She’s on her way.”

  “Great, it’s going to be a hot one. Let’s take her to the lake.”

  “Excuse me?” I asked, wondering how it turned into an “us’ bringing her anywhere.

  “The lake. Bet she’ll love it.” He took out his phone and hit some buttons.

  “What are you doing?” I was confused.

  “Oh, I texted Sasha, asked her to pack a swimsuit.”

  “I’m sure she left already.” As those words left my mouth his phone dinged again and he smiled.

  “She texted, she was just about to walk out the door, but was glad I beat her to it.”

  “I...,” I tried to think of a reason why I should argue and push him away, but nothing came to me. I scratched my head at a loss for words.

  “Go get your swimsuit on, Maple. Unless you plan on swimming in that nice bra you wore the last time. I won't complain, but thinking Sasha wouldn’t want her daughter to accidentally see a nip.

  My jaw went slack, “Keenan Rys, you saw no such thing!” He smirked at me. I huffed, and went upstairs to get a suit on.

  “Wheee!” Loud screams of joy came from Delilah as Rys threw her into the air. He caught her every time, but it didn’t stop her from screaming like he was going to dunk her. My head was thrown back laughing at the pair as I laid on the floating dock in the middle of the lake. Rys wore navy blue swim trunks. His chiseled chest was on display and I wasn't even shy about my admiration for it.

  We’d been having the best day. We swam. I packed a lunch for us. and then after we ate and lounged around, we swam some more. Rys was so different. He was playful and carefree.

  After a few more throws into the air, I watched Delilah move to the shore and sit down in fresh sand. When I came here weeks ago, the sand was dirty, but this sand was new. I hadn’t confirmed it with Rys yet, but I was certain that he had it delivered. I couldn't help but feel like he had it done for me.

  While Delilah played in the sand, Rys swam to me and then lifted himself onto the dock.

  “You think she’s okay in the sand?”

  “Yeah, she promised not to go in. Besides, I won’t take my eyes off of her.” We weren’t that far from the shore, plus she wore a life vest. Still, I sat up straighter so that I could watch her too.

  “You’re really good with her,” I grinned.

  “You surprised?”

  “So much about you surprises me.”

  “I could say the same about you.”

  “Oh, yeah. Like what?” I laughed and then I instantly regretted the words leaving my mouth, knowing that they hung heavy in the air.

  “For starters, you can make the best damn food I’ve ever eaten in my life in only a few minutes, and you act like it’s no big deal. You’re strong-willed. You’re loyal.”

  “Dogs are loyal.”

  He inched closer to me on the wooden dock. Water dripped off of his body and cooled my skin as small droplets flung from him and onto my warm skin. I moved my foot from the dock and twirled my toe into the water, all too aware of his proximity. Delilah was far from the shore. She moved a pile of sand next to the picnic table and dug with a yellow plastic shovel.

  “You’re funny, even when you’re stubborn.”

  “I’m not,” I started to say, and knew I would only be proving his point if I argued.

  “You’re brave.”

  “Brave?” I questioned because I felt anything but brave. This entire time I’ve been home, I’ve felt more afraid than I had in years.

  “So brave. But you know what surprises me the most?”

  “What?”

  “Delilah, move back from the water,” Rys yelled as we watched her scoop a bucket of water. She waved, and then went back to her hole.

  Rys was close to me, his wet thigh pressed against mine and his fingers trailed up my arm.

  “What surprises you the most, Keenan?” I whispered. My breath hitched. I bit my lip in anticipation.

  “You’re so fucking beautiful, yet you have no idea. It’s like you see yourself as some hard-ass that’s damaged, yet all anyone else sees is the sweetest, most beautiful, caring woman.” Rys stood, and then dove towards the shore. I sat for a while longer, thinking about his parting words. Is that how I saw myself? I thought maybe it was, that I did see myself as damaged; but he saw me as so much more.

  Eventually, I grew tired of baking and watching Delilah and Rys have fun without me, so I dove in and swam to the pair. I pretended his words didn't have an impact, but I think we both knew they very much did.

  Delilah fell asleep on the way back to Sasha’s. Her cheeks were sun kissed, and she was exhausted. Rys explained to me in a quiet voice, so as not to wake Delilah, that a guy who used to work for him fathered Delilah and he took off once he found out he got Sasha pregnant. He tries to help her out sometimes. That explained why he had her number.

  Rys carried a sleeping Delilah to Sasha’s apartment.

  “You’re a lifesaver. Can you put her down in the back bedroom?” Sasha asked as she answered the door. Rys nodded and Sasha grabbed my arm. “Spill!” She whispered in a rushed tone.

  “What?” I whispered back.

  “Oh, don’t ‘what’ me. You and Rys.”

  I was saved from further inquisition, when Rys started back down the hallway towards us. I smiled at Sasha and she squinted her eyes at me, silently telling me she’d get to the bottom of us. And there I was again, mentally saying us.

  We left and drove back to my home. I expected Rys to drop me off and go. What I did not expect was that once we were in the driveway that he’d shut off the truck, and start unloading everything.

  “You look tired, Maple. Why don’t you go on in, and I’ll get everything?”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah, honey.” Gosh, I liked that coming from him.

  So, I did what he suggested, and went inside and flicked on the TV, made myself comfortable on the couch and turned on Orange is the New Black. Minutes later, he grabbed a beer from the fridge, then made himself comfortable on the couch beside me. I didn't remember dozing off, but when I woke up I was tucked into my bed and Rys was nowher
e to be seen.

  It was a Friday, and I was at Iggy’s. The night started off with Iggy shouting how we were going to be slammed, due to some poker run, and that she had called in reinforcements. Alex was already here, and as much as I didn’t mind seeing him, I didn't want any of the drama that might ensue, if Rys came in. I had seen Rys a few times during the week, but he started a new project at work and had been busy. Every time I saw him though, I couldn't deny the spark between us.

  Alex tonight was in good spirits. He flirted a little, but he also flirted with Sasha and just about every other female. Alex was good looking enough, but we were never destined. We were fun, young and wild when we were in high school, but it was never love. So, that is why, when Rys came in I found myself paying extra attention to him. I got him his beer right away and talked for as long as I could with a bar filled to max capacity. The fact that I was clearly into Rys made me exceptionally irritated at Alex’s advances. It was like he turned it up in the presence of Rys. He gripped my hip when we both reached into the beer cooler at the same time.

  “Would you stop it,” I gritted my teeth.

  “Awe c’mon, Mape,” he wagged his eyebrows at me. I shook my head and turned to see if Rys had seen. When I turned my head, I expected to see Rys glaring, but instead I saw a blonde with big, poofy hair and even bigger perky boobs, nuzzled up to Rys’ side. Jealousy, that I had no right to feel, burned deep in my gut. I watched him shake his head at her. I couldn't hear anything over the loud, crowded bar. I watched though, as he tilted his bottle in my direction and a satisfied grin crossed my face when I made eye contact with her.

  I sauntered over to Rys, feeling possessive and a tad smug, then asked in the most saccharine voice I could muster, “You need anything, Keenan?”

  “Nah, honey. I’m good for now, but Alex better keep his hands to himself.”

  “Ditto,” I said as a patron next to Rys started barking an order at me.

  I was exhausted. It didn't help that I had another nightmare last night, either. I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment as flashes from the dream swarmed in my head.

  Momma in the kitchen. Momma trying to feed a cat. Momma getting mad ‘cause she couldn’t work the can opener. Momma taking a kitchen knife and stabbing herself in the leg. Blood. Numbness. Alone.

  I shook off the thoughts as a customer shouted their order. Another hour had gone by, and now we had more bikers in here for cards on their poker run, then we had seats. The place was completely packed. Iggy had Sasha and me on the floor taking orders. There were a few lewd comments directed at us, but nothing we couldn't handle. Plus, I had this odd sense of safety knowing that Rys was at the bar. He was nursing his beer, which made me think he was here for me, more than he was here to socialize. Something about that felt good.

  I had just delivered a tray of beers and shots and had a full order to place at the bar when I felt hands around my waist. I was ready to yell at the offender, when I was lifted up and spun around. “Maple!”

  I blinked and did a double take. “Max!” I shouted and then threw my arms around him in a tight hug. “It’s been so long!” I shouted so he could hear me. The noise volume seemed to be going up exponentially.

  “It really has been. You look great!” he shouted back. With his hands still around me, I suddenly was aware at what a man Max had turned into. He was tall; taller than Rys. His hair was a sandy brown and a little shaggy on top. His chest was broad. I quickly became aware that I was in an extremely good looking man's arms.

  It was only for a second though, because I felt another man pulling me back and saying, “Max, good to see you.” Rys was at my side possesively claiming me all over again only this time , I didn't want to fight it.

  “Great! You two know each other. I’m swamped, so I’ll catch up soon,” I said giving Max a squeeze on his hand, and rushed to the bar. The guys casually talked and shared a beer. The night changed once again when Rebecca and Jack walked in. They too knew Rys. I shouldn't have been surprised, it was a small town. Luckily, I was so busy that I didn't have time to ponder my feelings about all of them together.

  As quickly as we got busy, we soon slowed down. The bikers had to move to their next stop for a card, and I learned that another swarm of them would be in soon enough. I took the downtime to use the bathroom and freshen up.

  “I’m gonna smoke. You take a break and then we’ll let Sasha and Alex get one in too before the next round gets here,” Iggy said.

  I poured a sweet tea and walked over to Rys, Max, Rebecca, and Jack and noticed that a few other people I didn't know had gathered in their group. Max was animatedly telling a story, “So Rys stopped my brother-in-law from getting shot and he single-handedly carried him a mile to safety, saving his life.”

  “It wasn’t a mile,” Rys said.

  “More like a thousand yards,” Jack said.

  “Still, if it wasn't for this man right here, he’d be a goner” Max said again as if he was trying to impress their other guests. It was only as Jack moved a little to the left that I could see one of them was the big boobed blonde from earlier.

  “You weren't even there, Max,” Rebecca said.

  “This man deserves a medal,” Max said, slapping Rys on his back.

  I watched as Jack and Rys shared a look. It said a lot, like they had shared something and that no matter how Max tried to tell it, they were irrevocably changed.

  “You served together?” I asked sidling up close to Rys.

  “Yeah, we were in Afghanistan for a tour.”

  I looked to Rebecca and Jack, and saw a look in her eyes that I didn't like. A much as we lost of our friendship, I never wanted to see her hurt.

  “That had to be hard for you,” I said to Rebecca.

  “It was so hard. He was gone for three years that time, and Aaron was so little.”

  “We got through it, right sis?” Max squeezed Rebecca’s shoulders.

  I watched Rebecca, and I realized that no matter what mistakes she may have made, she had almost lost her husband, and I would hate that for her. Deep down, no matter how bad a true friend could hurt you, it didn't really matter. When you loved a friend, and loved them like they were family, in the deepest parts of you, you still had their back.

  My eyes softened. As Rys and Jack began talking again, I squeezed Rebecca’s hand and whispered, “I’m sorry.” I was initially saying I was sorry because she almost lost Jack, but when she squeezed my hand back and whispered, “Me too,” it became about so much more.

  The crowd vying for Max and Rys’ attention soon got bored from their lack of it and with Rys pulling me close to him, I asked Max, “So, what have you been up too? Carl said you’re moving back. Got a lady, or anything here?”

  “Well, looks like I’m a day late and a dollar short,” he grinned at Rys and me. Rys stiffened just a little, and I could tell he didn't like the blatant flirtation.

  “Gross, you’re like my little brother.”

  “Yeah, you little perv!” Rebecca said to Max and it reminded me of how we would’ve treated him years ago.

  “Still ganging up on me, but there ain't anything little about me.”

  “Gross!” Rebecca cringed.

  He laughed then added, “Rys, you better watch out for these two. They can be fierce together.”

  “They sure can,” Jack added and I shot him a glare. I might be feeling a little better towards Rebecca, but Jack would still have a long way to go.

  “Hey, Maple! You’re up!” Alex shouted and tossed me a white rag that seemed to be part of every bartender’s attire.

  “That guy’s still around?” Max asked, “I thought he would’ve caught the HIV and expired somewhere.”

  “Stop it,” I whacked Max with the towel, and then found my spot behind the bar.

  I was wiping the bar and Alex moved to take his break when he leaned in close to me and whispered, “So, you and Rys, huh?”

  “Honestly, I’m not sure what we are, but I like him, and I think I want
to see where it goes.”

  “Yeah well, be careful, Maple. He’s got a temper.”

  I felt protective of Rys and I wanted to defend him, but Alex left from behind the bar and before I knew it, he was outside. It felt good to admit that I wanted to see where things would go with Rys.

  I took orders with a new lightness in my step. In the last fifteen minutes, I let go more with Rebecca and I was finally admitting that something serious was starting to brew between Rys and me. I should’ve known that lightness wouldn't last.

  Another crowd of bikers came in as the sun descended into the sky. With the darkness came more rowdiness. If we were getting our butts kicked before, we were getting annihilated now. I really couldn’t complain though because I was no doubt, even in my exhausted state, making a ton of money.

  I had just delivered a round of shots and told the burly biker that it would be forty-nine-fifty. He handed me a fiftty and told me to keep the change. I was exhausted and snickered, “Gee thanks,” under my breath. This guy had been a pain in my patootie since he got here.

  “I’m sorry. Was that not good enough for you? You want to earn some real tips, we can go in the bathroom and make that happen. Those lips look like the only thing you got worth tipping.”

  “Excuse me?” I asked incredulously. The bikers in this town were usually respectful, but this guy was just rude. “I think it’s time you and your friends to leave.”

  “Nah, darling. Don't be like that.” He grabbed my wrist and I instantly pinched my eyes shut, images of my Momma flooded at me. I quickly opened them when I felt a harsh tug. He was yanking me through the crowds of people.

  “Get off of me!” I screamed and yanked back. If he didn't let me go, I was going to use some of those self-defense techniques I’d learned from spending hours of sleepless nights watching infomercials from Grand-Master Cheng. So what if I hadn’t actually learned to use them? This guy was getting my palm to his nose or my fingers to his eyes in seconds. “Let me go!” I shouted again. I raised my hand to strike, when my efforts were thwarted.

  In a rapid blur, Rys was pulling the man off of me, shouting and punching him. I screamed, shocked by it all. Another biker, who was with the guy who grabbed me, saw his buddy getting his butt kicked.