BE MY BRAYSHAW

by Meagan Brandy

  Why does this upset her?

  Why do I care?

  A trick she called it, from her own act.

  What fucking act?

  “Tell them, Victoria,” Raven suddenly whispers.

  Reluctantly, I pull my eyes from Vee to glance at Raven.

  Her shoulders have fallen, eyes are sloped around the edges.

  There is no pity, but regret, pain.

  Understanding?

  “Tell us what, RaeRae?” Royce sits forward, leaning on his forearms.

  “What wasn’t mine to share,” Raven adds.

  My eyes move back to Victoria.

  She focuses on the floor, cheeks clenching as she works her jaw over. Tension builds across her forehead, but then she draws her shoulders up, her head jerking slightly before it’s gone.

  She stands to her full height, her features smooth as fucking butter.

  “You guys think I haven’t earned the right to be here, well you haven’t earned the right for a trip down memory lane. You’re sitting here for a reason, so get to the fucking point.”

  Shock has my eyes widening, and while this from anyone else would warrant a nasty reaction, my brothers laugh and fuck me if I don’t give a slow chuckle myself.

  She tries, but cracks the slightest bit, hiding it by licking those lips.

  She looks across to the four of us.

  “Lemme get us started off since this shit got off track,” Royce says. He leans forward, removing the lid from the crystal bowl in the middle of the table and picks up what’s inside.

  He looks at Victoria and lifts his hand.

  Slipped between his two fingers is a small piece of paper.

  Her face falls instantly.

  “Oh shit,” she gasps.

  Yeah, oh shit is right.

  Victoria

  Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

  “Ah, so the little liar recognizes this, then.” Royce sits back, cocking his head.

  This, in part, is what I’ve been waiting for, but I wanted Captain to ask me directly. There’s no getting around it now.

  The truth is all that’s left.

  Still, with nerves running through me, I delay.

  My eyes move to Captain. “You went through my things.”

  “That should have been a given,” he replies.

  It was.

  “Didn’t think anything of it, at first,” Captain admits, an almost imperceptible hint of hope threaded in his tone. “But once it clicked, it all clicked.”

  Not all of it or this conversation would have started much differently and without the game before it.

  I look to Captain, at the strain around his eyes, and my pulse hammers against my temples. Everything will set in and quickly, he’s only had a moment to wrap his mind around what this actually means, after all, it was just a bit ago my lips were wrapped around him.

  I’d been waiting for this, so why do I suddenly feel as if I’m not ready for it?

  I don’t know why I ask myself this, the answer is clear.

  He’s giving himself to me in small pieces, and I don’t want him to take any back, but I said I’d tell the truth if asked directly, and I will.

  “All those times I thought you had eyes on Chloe or Mac, I was wrong,” Cap says. “It was Tisha you were staring at. You knew she was getting beat. You knew she wrote for the school paper and knew what Jason drove. You bought a toy car and newspaper, tore off the corner and waited for an opportunity to place it in front of us.”

  I run my tongue along the backs of my teeth, not denying a thing.

  Cap’s eyes bore into mine, and I see him working through this as he speaks the words aloud. Tension builds across his face and he licks his lips.

  “The town, our people.” Captain’s eyes slide to his brothers, who clearly haven’t moved beyond this moment either. “Issues of all kinds used to go through head of security, shared with us only after things were handled so we stayed aware, but out of the trouble. Until we got to Brayshaw High. We were ready for more, wanted more, and all of a sudden little hints and tips were being dropped left and right. We were able to take control by being a step ahead.”

  I swallow as Royce says, “People started to come to us because of it.”

  “No...” Captain disagrees, his tone low, an achingly obvious sting of realization and single thread of awe, feared hope, burns in his eyes, now solely locked with mine. His brows furrow as he takes a step closer. “No... right?” he whispers.

  My heart hammers in my chest.

  Go on, Cap.

  “The girls being treated wrong at school, the women abused by their husbands, daughters ruined by their fathers, the assholes abusing their power in our name.” Captain turns his head to his brothers, waiting until the last second to take his eyes from me, and only for the briefest of a glance. “I’d go as far as to say helping those people, our people, is how we earned the respect when at first it was given to us because of who we were.”

  “You earned the love of your town.”

  “And you made that possible,” he says just as quick. “Didn’t you?”

  “Whoa, the fuck...” Royce slowly pushes to his feet. “Are you saying she… that there was never...”

  “It was one person all along.” Maddoc glares.

  Raven’s eyes widen.

  Royce looks to Captain.

  And Captain, he shuffles closer, never breaking eye contact. “Why?”

  “Because she felt it,” Raven whispers, but only her husband turns toward her.

  Her gaze lands on me, and she gives a small smile.

  Captain’s knuckle presses below my chin, guiding my face to his.

  His eyes search mine, repeating, “Why, Beauty?”

  I answer his desperate plea.

  “Because all my life I listened to the filth people had hidden inside them. I was the shadow behind their ugly, an unseen threat, felt and feared, but the second I realized secrets didn’t exist solely for blackmail, as I was told, my purpose shifted. I sought out every secret I could find and did what was needed to right the wrongs.”

  Captain blows out a low, ragged breath, both hands lifting, sliding along my cheeks and holding my head in place.

  The others watch on, not a word spoken, not a breath heard.

  Captain’s eyes, a gut-wrenching, glorious green tonight, beg for something, but I don’t think it’s me they want something from.

  It’s himself.

  To believe in the words the little liar before him speaks when he so gently and torturously asks his one-worded question. “Zoey?”

  Moisture builds in my eyes and I swallow, giving a curt nod, clenching my teeth to keep my jaw from trembling.

  He shakes his head, coming closer, his forehead dropping to mine while his eyes keep mine locked in. “Say it out loud. Tell me you are the one who left me proof. Tell me you snuck those hospital records into my bag. Tell me you are the one who led me to my baby girl.”

  My lips part on a sharp exhale.

  Please, his eyes implore.

  “Yes,” I whisper. “I put them there for you to find.”

  His hold on me tightens, shakes, and then suddenly it’s gone, and just as quickly, he is too.

  I’m left standing at the head of the Brayshaw table, Raven, Maddoc, and Royce staring right at me.

  Raven catches me off guard when tears roll down her cheek, but she doesn’t swipe angrily at them, doesn’t fight the emotions she normally hates to show.

  I look away, meeting Royce’s gaze as he takes three steps toward me.

  “Three years, VicVee.” Royce’s words are coated with a heavy gravel. “You were here for three fuckin’ years, quiet as a mouse but as slick as a fucking fox.” He grabs my hand, pulling me into him. His lips find my ear as he hugs me. “Should we be proud or pissed, baby girl?”

  “Did you know foxes hunt smaller than wolves,” I whisper. “And in return the wolves look the other way?”

  He chuckles, releasing me and perch
ing against the edge of the table.

  Maddoc slides his arms around Raven, laying his palms across her stomach and hers lift to lace into his. He asks, “Are we fools for not seeing? You lived on our property. Went to our school. How’d we miss this?”

  “Rich people see no threat in those who have nothing. You were taught to stare past a girl like me, not through. I was taught to focus where no one dared. I see what you can’t. You see what I want you to.”

  “But you fucked up,” Maddoc adds the obvious.

  A scoffed laugh leaves me, and I nod. “Yeah, well. It’s been a hell of a couple weeks.”

  Raven’s lips twitch.

  Captain’s voice cuts through the room, and our heads snap his way.

  “We have rules.” He swallows beyond the strain in his words, and an airiness makes its way through my body.

  Brayshaw rules.

  I nod, and he continues.

  “No one is allowed here, but you know that already. No drugs are allowed in this house, but the weed in your bag will be fine once it’s where my daughter can’t reach.” He eyes me a long moment, then adds. “We eat dinner together, every night, no exceptions.”

  “Oh shit,” Royce whispers with a small chuckle, and Maddoc smacks the back of his head.

  Captain doesn’t look away. “If you can’t cook, we can teach you.” He pauses, and the tight pull at his shoulders eases some as he fights to let go. “Raven sucks, so don’t ask her for help.”

  She laughs, and I find myself letting a small smile slip as his does, but he quickly clears his throat and walks away, only to come right back again.

  His glare is hard, but his words are much, much more.

  “Unpack your shit, Victoria. Now. Tonight. All of it. And sleep under the covers, not on top.”

  And then he’s gone, and a dangerous, risky sensation runs through me.

  Hope.

  “Hey, uh, RaeRae, you should loan me your headphones tonight.”

  My eyes fly to Royce’s and he pops a brow.

  Raven laughs, dragging her man from the kitchen, and Royce follows them out.

  I take a moment to breathe and then I head up to the room I was given and do exactly as Captain asked.

  For the first time, I settle into my new home.

  Chapter 19

  Victoria

  The sun is just coming up when my door opens and closes.

  I stay facing the wall, waiting to see what he’ll do, having expected him hours ago.

  There’s a light shuffle, and then silence.

  Several minutes go by before he speaks.

  “What did you mean earlier, what filth and ugly did you see? What kind of life did you live? Where did you live?”

  A smile finds my lips.

  Sweet Captain, stepping from behind his shield.

  Slowly I flip over, finding he’s on the floor, his back positioned against the bed, head propped on it.

  “I lived here until I was ten years old, in this town. After Donley stole me from Maria at the hospital, he basically put me in a room on the Graven Estate and left me there. I guess I was fed and taken care of as a baby because I lived, but I don’t exactly have anyone to ask about it.”

  “What was the room like?” he asks.

  “Big, almost like an apartment, I guess. It was cold and bare with a bath and small fridge, microwave when I got a little older and was trusted to use it.”

  “No school?”

  “Like with other kids?” I shake my head. “No, but for one hour a day, I had a teacher, but I think she was just another employee of the house, not a real one, and she wasn’t exactly a ray of sunshine. She was emotionless and wouldn’t look at me. Not once in six years did she meet my eyes.”

  I remember, when she’d leave, I’d stand in the center of the room with my eyes closed, a nasty little thing called hope in my naïve heart, all for it to be crushed day in and out when then the lock on the other side would click, confirming what I already knew and expected—I was locked inside. Alone.

  The crazy thing, or maybe it’s not so crazy, I don’t know, but I didn’t even care she left. I just wanted to see what the world looked like outside the door.

  “Stop.”

  My eyes fly to the back of his head, but before I can speak he does, “Stop thinking in your mind. Think out loud. Tell me. Talk to me.”

  My chest tightens, and I nod even though he can’t see.

  “I would talk to the walls, louder when I saw shadows beneath the door, but nobody ever opened it.”

  “You were alone.”

  “Yeah,” I whisper. “But I didn’t hate it. I had a million dresses and nightgowns, a TV and...” I trail off, wishing I could see his face. “A garden.”

  His head snaps right, but he doesn’t look at me, instead choosing to watch me in his peripheral.

  “I was bored more than anything, so I would go out into the little yard attached, and daydream about climbing the wall, until one day I heard a couple kids playing somewhere near, and said, ‘fuck it’ and tried. I tried every day for years, but I never even got halfway up. The wall, it was blanketed in thorns and ivy.”

  He swallows but says nothing.

  “The man who would clean my room and bring my meals found me digging holes in the yard a few times. I was punished, no school for a week, which meant no human contact.” I smile into the pillow. “Naturally I dug deeper.”

  Captain’s shoulders bounce with a quiet, huffed laugh.

  “A couple days later, when the man found it again, he walked right out, and the morning after that I woke to my door being thrown open, and pallet after pallet of flowers were carried in, dropped onto the patio with a hand shovel and two pairs of gloves.” I smile into the darkness, tapping my fingertips along the satin pillowcase. “My time there sucked a lot less after that. Getting those, planting those, that’s when my life actually began. With a purple flower.”

  “Purple...” he rasps.

  Yeah, Cap. Purple.

  He’s quiet a long moment before he says, “Thorns and ivy, purple flowers... your tattoo.”

  “My tattoo.”

  “Tell me more.” His command is gentle.

  I roll to my back, looking up at the giant chandelier above me. There’s no way Maddoc had that hanging in his room when this space was his. Captain must have had it put in for me.

  It’s gorgeous, too expensive, I’m sure, but… gorgeous.

  It’s a large glass circle, a line of silver at the tip-top, and encases several dozen stringed diamonds. The center point hangs the lowest, the others surrounding creating a perfect point as they grow smaller and disappear behind the glass around it.

  “I never really understood what a birthday was. I saw them on shows and things, but I didn’t know when mine was or if I had one, and then Mero showed up. I’d never met him, never seen him before. Later that day he dropped to his knees and smiled.” I squish my lips to the side. “He said ‘Happy tenth Birthday, sweet girl,’” I whisper. “I left with him the day he came, left everything I’d ever had, ever known behind. The crazy part is I was happy to. In my mind, this handsome man with the greenest of eyes had saved me.

  “I had a new room where the door wasn’t locked, a new yard that didn’t have a wall trapping me in, a swing and... a friend. Someone to talk to, and he loved to talk.” My eyes close, a frown forming. “For hours he’d sit and listen, ask questions. We’d play games and he taught me to cook—I’m really good at it by the way.”

  Despite the mood, he gives a light chuckle, his head falling back on the mattress, and I wish I was allowed to reach over and brush the golden blond back. “Did he hurt you?”

  I pause, following a glimmer from one of the long strands above me, shimmering color above me down the wall until it slowly begins to fade, as my innocence did.

  A wilted flower.

  “If I think about it, he was hurting me from the beginning, but I didn’t see it. I was groomed, a perfect slate to build from. I didn�
�t know about the world, all I knew was what he told me. There’s bad out there, sweet girl, and you’re the princess sent to make it right.” I frown. “That was one of his favorite lines. He taught me how to read body language, how to get a glimpse into a stranger’s soul.”

  Never cower, sweet girl. Your eyes are your power.

  “It started small, get the kid at the ice cream shop to admit he stole from the tip jar, convince the guy at the park to steal his mom’s car, but I was really good, and suddenly I was twelve, but passed for seventeen… and I learned there really was a lot of bad in the world. Mero said my ‘job’ was to find it, and making him proud became the most important thing in my world. So I did what he asked, always. I found new ways to get smart, powerful, people to give up their secrets, and in return, they gave Mero money.”

  “Blackmail.”

  “Yep.”

  “Did you have to sleep with these men?”

  I run my tongue along the backs of my teeth. “Did someone force me to a bed and take what I didn’t give?” Shame weighs on my chest, and I inhale, the ache only growing. “No, never. Sex wasn’t always necessary, but when it was, when I had no other way to get the answer I was sent for, it was.”

  I was disgusting, craved the approval of a man who I thought was my savior, even mourned his death as I made my way back to this place, and then it was like a switch went off in my mind. All at once, everything clicked and I realized what I never saw... I wasn’t his princess, I was his prisoner.

  “When I got to the Bray house, I studied everything around me, and it didn’t take me long to realize where good met the evil, but your family had no reason to trust me, so I found another way.”

  Finally, Captain shifts his head, meeting my eyes in the dark. “You found us.”

  My stomach muscles tighten, and I nod. “Yeah, Cap.” I found you.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” he whispers.

  “I was a stranger who knew what she shouldn’t.” I shrug. “I was basically a stalker.”

  Captain chuckles, but it quickly dies on his lips.

  His hand comes up, pushing the hair from my cheek and he holds it there a moment.

  His eyes fall to my mouth, his tongue peeking out to wet his own, but then they swing back to mine and a look I can’t decipher flashes across them.