BE MY BRAYSHAW

by Meagan Brandy

  My throat thickens as his knuckles find their way under my chin, lifting my head to his. His steady scrutiny momentarily steals my thoughts, and I sag against him. “Next time you want to go out and get fucked up, don’t.”

  He holds me there, in his palm, under his spell, and then he lets go, and the hole it leaves inside me is a sign I need to prepare to do the same.

  The plan was to make him mine.

  Plans change.

  Chapter 27

  Victoria

  After a long, scorching shower, I make my way downstairs, my foot hitting the final step the same time Captain’s carry him out the front door.

  I look to Zoey sitting at the bar with Raven, a plate of cut-up strawberries and a cup of milk in front of her.

  The second Captain is gone, Raven hops up to grab a can of whipped cream from the fridge and shakes it up. “Okay, Zo, let me show you how to eat a strawberry.”

  Maddoc scoffs, coming around the corner with his gym bag over his shoulder. “Keep pouring all that white into your mouth, baby, and I’ll—”

  “Yo!” Royce shouts, throwing a couch pillow at Maddoc, but it falls in the middle of the floor. “Sweet little baby girl ears.”

  Raven laughs and nods her chin at Zoey who follows her lead, leaning her head back so Raven can spray some right into her mouth.

  Zoey laughs, but then her eyes widen. “Oh no! I have to tell Papa something!”

  Raven quickly spins, flicking her still cream covered tongue along Maddoc’s lips and hurries after her. “Tell Captain we’re out back.”

  Maddoc tries to frown at the shit on his mouth, but he can’t completely hide the smirk as he licks his lips. “You sure you don’t wanna shoot some hoops. Mac and a couple other assholes are gonna be out there.”

  Royce shakes his head, pulling his eyes from his phone to Maddoc’s. “I’m good.”

  “You mean you feel like shit?” he tosses out.

  Royce nods. “Yup.”

  “That’s what you get, dick,” he snaps. “Watch Raven.”

  “I know the drill, brother.”

  Maddoc nods, tipping his chin toward me in acknowledgment as he walks out.

  I grab an apple, biting into it as I lean across the counter.

  Royce stares right at me, and I can tell he has something on his mind, but before anything can be said, the front door opens and Captain walks in.

  He glances around, his eyes landing on me.

  I cover my mouth to speak with my mouth full of apple. “Zoey’s outside with your dad and Raven.”

  It takes him a moment, but then he nods, and off he goes.

  I wait until his footsteps can no longer be heard and push up on my palm. My eyes lock with Royce’s. “Will you take me to Maria’s?”

  His glare is instant. “Why you askin’ me?”

  “Because anyone else will want to know why and ask questions along the way. You won’t.”

  He pushes to his feet, coming to stand across from me. I’m sure he’ll say no, tell me to fuck off, but he doesn’t.

  He steps back, pulls his keys from his pocket and presses a button on the little black box. “Get in. I’ll meet you out there.”

  I toss the apple in the garbage, doing as he asks.

  Five minutes later he’s sliding in his seat right as Raven starts walking down the porch steps, headed right for us.

  I sigh, looking to Royce.

  “I’m on babysitting duty.” He grins.

  I can’t help it, a small laugh leaves me.

  I go to open my door, but Raven catches it, slamming it shut, and climbs in the back seat.

  “If you guys don’t stop acting like I’m fragile, I will show you real fuckin’ loud that I’m not. I can sit in the back seat of a giant, luxury ass car.” She chuckles, closing her door and getting comfortable. “There’re even ass warmers back here, I’m good.”

  We laugh and Royce pulls out of the driveway onto the dirt road.

  “So.” Raven sits forward. “Where we going?”

  My head snaps toward Royce who smirks at the road.

  “Go on, VicVee, share with the class.”

  Damn it.

  I sigh, spinning in my seat to face her. “We’re going to Maria’s.”

  Raven’s mouth opens only to clamp shut as she meets Royce’s gaze in the mirror, quickly moving it to mine.

  “What are you doing, Vee?” she asks, shaking her head. “You don’t ask one to do something the others wouldn’t like. Trust me, I’ve done it. It pisses everyone off, but that’s not the part I’m trippin’ on.” Her eyes narrow. “You asked him to take you somewhere, and he said yes. Something happened and he knows about it.”

  I don’t say anything, but whatever she sees staring back has her dropping against the seat with a small, almost unnoticeable nod. “Turn the music up, Royce, and stop for ice cream on the way.”

  He chuckles. “You got it, RaeRae.”

  A few minutes into the drive, Raven asks, “You think Captain would be mad at you for wanting to see your mom?”

  “She’s not my mom.”

  “Even if you don’t claim her, she’s still your mom, just answer the question.”

  I glare out the side window. “Should I care if he was?”

  “I wouldn’t if it were me,” she admits. “I hated my mom, yeah, that was common knowledge, but she was mine to decide what to do with, no one else’s. No matter what she did or didn’t do.”

  I hesitate before sharing, “Maybe it makes me fucked up, but I don’t want a relationship with her, that’s not why I’m doing this.”

  “I’m sure you do, you just haven’t realized it yet,” Raven says. “But either way, if that’s not the reason we’re temporarily hiding our little trip from Cap, then why?”

  “Zoey lived with her almost since birth, she cared for her day and night, and as far as I know she hasn’t reached out to anyone once since Zoey came home. That’s… I’d expect more from her. I’ve called her a few times and nothing.”

  “Goddamn, VicVee,” Royce grinds out, his glare coming back. “You think something’s up. That’s what this is about.”

  I shrug.

  “You should have fuckin’ said somethin’,” he barks.

  Meaning when trouble is or could be involved, his brothers should be too.

  The rest of the drive is filled with music, and pulling over once so Raven can throw up the ice cream she ate on the way. When we get to the long country road leading to the home Zoey spent her first few years of life in, a chill runs down my spine.

  Royce turns into the driveway, drives through the sky-high bush line, and then we reach the iron gate. He presses hard on his brakes, bringing us to a screeching halt.

  The sudden stop sends dust into the air, the small gust of wind stirring up the ash and creating a scorning black rain.

  “Holy shit.” Raven leans forward in her seat.

  I reach for the handle, and then the doors lock, and my eyes fly to Royce.

  He glares at Raven.

  “Keep that ass in this car, I fuckin’ mean it, RaeRae. Move and I will tape you to the seat, I don’t give a shit. Got it?” He tips his chin, but it’s in fear and love for the girl who broke through his heart.

  Surprising us both, she nods “okay” and sits back. “But you only get five minutes.”

  Royce gives a curt nod, and the lock sounds. The both of us step out into the yard.

  I reach for the fencing, but Royce’s hand flies out to stop mine.

  “Hold up, we need to make sure the electricity is off.”

  “It is,” I tell him, glancing where the little red light normally blinks.

  I push and it begins to slide along its track.

  We walk down the driveway, toward the pile of burnt wood and black powder, and then I see it, the garden on the side, the perfect curve and bright purple flowers, untouched and soaking in all the sun has to offer.

  But it’s the new piece to the property behind it that has m
y airway closing.

  A wall, built strong and tall and wide, from one end of the flowers to the next, a heavy ivy draped thick and full from top to bottom identical to my once was prison.

  My chin unexpectedly wobbles, so I bite into my bottom lip. “For eighteen years she hid away, all to get caught in the crossfire in the end,” I breathe.

  Royce’s head snaps my way, his eyes widening as trickles of red spill down my chin.

  His shoulders square and he glances across the acreages, coming to his own conclusion. “Graven.”

  Before I can blink again, Royce is dragging me to the SUV, shoving me in through his door and climbing in behind.

  “Call Maddoc,” Royce tells Raven as he peels out, flying down the road.

  “He’s on the court.” She shakes her head. “His phone has to be on the bench.”

  A few seconds later she curses, shaking her head. “Cap’s not answering either.”

  “He’s home, he should.”

  “He was getting in the pool with Zoey, his phone must not be on him either. Talk.”

  “The house is ash, burnt it down,” Royce says.

  “Eye for an eye?” Raven wonders.

  Of course, that would make sense considering it was on her word that one of the other counsel families came in and burnt Donley’s place, my once was home, the Graven Estate, to ash.

  After he betrayed the system built over hundreds of years ago with his lies and greed, he was cast out by the head of all five families, a mutual decision among them all.

  But that’s if you look at this at eye level.

  This isn’t about the fire or revenge, or a home for a home.

  This is about the beautiful, familiar wall built in its place, and the memories it’s meant to trigger, the promises made alongside it.

  “I promise you. It’ll be you and me forever one day, no matter what.”

  The only person this was meant to speak to, is me.

  Message received.

  “We’re going to Maddoc,” Royce announces as if there was any question.

  I sit back, closing my eyes the rest of the drive, knowing one thing for sure.

  He’s watching.

  “You good, RaeRae?” Royce asks a few minutes later as the last time Raven came down this road she was crashed into by a Bray hating psychopath. “Baby’s good?”

  He reaches back, and Raven grabs his hand, giving it a light squeeze.

  “Yeah, Ponyboy. We’re good. Let’s get to Maddoc.”

  “Couple more minutes.”

  Once we’re a couple of streets from the park, I unbuckle my seatbelt. “Let me out, I’ll walk home.”

  Royce’s head snaps my way. “Fuck no.”

  “Come on, I need some air.”

  “You’re ‘bout to get some fuckin’ air when we get out at the park.”

  “You pass the street on the way to the courts anyway.”

  He says nothing.

  “Let me out or I’ll just walk away the second we stop.”

  “Then walk the fuck away when we stop,” he growls. “I’m not pulling over.”

  I shake my head, throwing myself against the seat.

  “Let her out, Royce,” Raven tells him.

  “What?!” he shouts. “This is already my fuckin’ ass here, I—”

  “You saw how I was after everything with my mom,” she reasons with him. “Come on, Royce,” she whispers. “She only wants to walk home, not run off, like I did.”

  Royce’s jaw tics, but when we come around the corner, only a turn or two from the Brayshaw mansion he should be passing to get to the courts, he pulls to the curb, pops the lock but doesn’t look over.

  I don’t hesitate, climb right out, and walk a single block up, where I plant my ass on the curbside.

  With a deep breath, I grab my phone, trying Maria once more, but this time it doesn’t even ring, and I hang up before I can be told the mailbox is full.

  I don’t know why I even tried, I know she’s gone.

  The flowers and the wall made just for me is confirmation.

  I drag to my feet, attempting to stuff my phone in my pocket as I spin on my heels to head home, but it falls to the cement when suddenly I’m staring into a pair of ocean blue eyes.

  Fuck.

  Chapter 28

  Victoria

  I’d swear minutes tick by and neither of us speaks, so I decide to be the first. “I knew you’d find your way to me.”

  “I had to.”

  I lick my lips, looking to the side only to come right back. “No, you didn’t. You should have stayed away. You should walk away now.”

  “I’ve been trying to get you alone for days. I’m not going anywhere.”

  I scoff, shaking my head, careful not to bump shoulders as I step past.

  “What, can we not even talk?”

  No. We can’t.

  “Damn it, Victoria. Please.”

  My teeth clench, but I keep moving.

  “I’m scared!”

  I freeze, squeezing my eyes closed.

  Don’t fall for this.

  The self-reminder fails, and my shoulders drop.

  I spin around, my hands flopping out as if to say okay, you got me, but the longer we stare at each other, the clearer it is one of us is out of the loop, and that one is me. “Scared of what, Mallory?”

  “He didn’t tell you.”

  I don’t allow myself to swallow and manage a calm and clear voice. “Tell me what?”

  “He’s letting me see her,” she shares, gauging me.

  My heart drops, my entire world—a world that never belonged to me—crashing at my feet.

  My Zoey.

  Her daughter.

  I can’t stop them, my tears building without permission.

  She zones right in on the moisture in my eyes, a heavy glint of something shining in her own.

  I know what I want to say to her right now, and that’s to back the fuck up and get the fuck out, not to play games she’s not strong enough for, but I can’t.

  Calling her out on her bullshit will only backfire and I’ll be the one who takes the heat.

  If I want to be Brayshaw, on my own merit and at my own hand, I have to be brave, selfless, even more so in a situation like this.

  I have to let the green monster inside her out.

  So, I rub my lips together with a nod, fighting beyond the acid coating my throat, begging me to keep the words buried, to stay silent.

  “You shouldn’t be afraid of seeing her. She’s… god, Mallory.” A shuddered cry steals my breath. “She’s perfect. Beautiful.”

  She cries, the back of her hand coming up to the edge of her nose as tears roll down her pink cheeks.

  “I made a mistake,” she whispers. “Lots of them, really.”

  Boulders, heavy mounds of them fall onto my chest, crashing into my lungs, and crushing my ribs along the way, or at least that’s how it feels.

  “I thought I could do this, but I can’t, I—”

  “Wait,” I rush out, pulling air into my aching body. “What are you saying? Can’t what?”

  “I knew you’d be at that festival,” she admits.

  My brows crash together. “How?”

  “It doesn’t matter.” She shakes her head, a barren look taking over her. “I didn’t... I panicked that day, I was hurt.” A small glare forms through her cloudy eyes and guilt adds to the pressure in my head. “Confused. Victoria, you—”

  “Stop,” I cut her off.

  “Tell him I can’t come, that I don’t want to see her.”

  My head tugs back, a broken laugh escaping as I subconsciously move away from her. “No.”

  “You have to,” she snaps.

  “Fuck you, and fuck no.” I look to her hands she nervously pulls at. “No way.”

  Her mouth opens only to close a second later, a bitter, lost laugh leaving her. “He’s with you, isn’t he?”

  “You have no place to question me.”

  “
Don’t I?” she throws back. “Are you in love with him?”

  More pain, more pressure.

  “You have to tell him,” she demands, and now it’s her who begins to back away, a cautionary flash in her eye. “Unless you want him—want them—sitting and waiting all for no one to show up.”

  My shoulders fall, another round of tears flooding my sight.

  I shake my head, turning my body away from hers. “It’s like you don’t know him at all, Mallory.” Somehow, I force my eyes back to hers. “I can scream it in his face, record this and play it back for him to hear with his own ears and still… he will be wherever he promised he would. He has to see to believe. It’s who he is.”

  It’s almost as if she didn’t hear a word I said, like this entire conversation never happened as a lost look blankets her.

  “What happened, Tor? Why’d you—” she cuts herself off, her fear of the answer keeping her from asking the question.

  And for a moment I’m grateful she’s too weak.

  Her eyes travel over me, settling on the ground beneath my feet and she swallows.

  She walks away, and I’m left to head home and break the dam built by the enemy. I’ve said it all along, no matter who you are, hope is a dangerous beast, it sinks you and...

  When you drown, your hope floats, but it’s not strong enough to pull you up with it. So, like a body chained to a brick, down you go.

  I don’t remember the short walk to the mansion, but suddenly I’m standing in the driveway and then stepping inside the house.

  Not thirty seconds after I close the door, Zoey is skipping down the stairs, Captain at her heels.

  Only when she reaches the bottom step, do I notice the little bow in her hair today, the same soft shade of blue as the tiny Vans on her feet.

  She spots me first, running over with a smile.

  “Rora! I got new shoes.”

  I lower onto one knee so she and I are eye level and let her interlace our hands. “I saw.”

  “Do you love them?”

  I love you, pretty girl.

  “I do.” I swallow, releasing her and she runs off.

  My eyes trail her as she goes, catching a flash of pink as she does, and slowly, I turn my head toward Captain.