BE MY BRAYSHAW

by Meagan Brandy

  Raven meets my eyes, coming over to lean against the counter as Rolland exits the kitchen.

  He drops beside Zoey, and the three disappear out the front door.

  As soon as they’re gone, Raven sets her coffee cup down and moves for the coffee machine. “You look like shit. I’m guessing you didn’t sleep?”

  I sigh. “Nope. Not much anyway.”

  She sets a half cup of coffee in front of me, a glass vase full of creamer beside it. “I’ll never understand why they pour it from the bottle it comes in into this heavy thing. Why choose to dirty an extra dish?”

  I chuckle but frown at the cup. “You know they’ve been giving you decaf, right?”

  She smirks, stepping back so she can lean on the counter without hitting her belly against it. “‘Course I know. It makes him feel like he’s ‘protecting me’ or what the fuck ever...” She shrugs, then nods her head at the mug she gave me. “That’s from the pot he made after he gave me mine.”

  I pull it over and she laughs, but it’s quickly cut short when the door opens.

  “Oh shit,” she hisses but full-on grins as she not so casually moves to the other side of the counter to watch.

  Behind me, Rolland makes an excuse to get Zoey up and the two run off.

  Suddenly Captain is in the place she just left, glaring down at me with too many emotions in his eyes to count.

  “What?”

  “You didn’t tell me.”

  I take a slow sip, letting the warm beverage ease my dry throat.

  “When exactly was I supposed to do that?”

  “When you first got home.” He glares.

  “And you’d have, what? Stayed?”

  His frown deepens.

  I lick my lips, lifting my shoulders, and give a simpler answer, “I didn’t think you’d care.”

  His brows jump high, surprised, but anger quickly replaces everything else. “That’s how we’re playing things now?”

  “Did we miss something?” comes from Maddoc.

  We answer at the same time.

  “No,” I say.

  “Yes,” he booms.

  Cap glares. “My room. Now.”

  My head jerks back. “Kiss my ass.”

  “Let’s go.”

  My lips smash together, and I look to the caramel-colored liquid in my cup. “I don’t think so, Cap.”

  When he doesn’t move, doesn’t speak, I force myself to meet his frown.

  Guilt lines his eyes, heavy and loud, screaming at my own.

  He should feel none, he promised me nothing, and he has every right to go after whatever it is he wants.

  He should feel no guilt.

  “Stop.”

  “Stop what?” he rasps.

  I shake my head, looking away, but he gets right back in my line of sight. Closer, right in fucking front of me close, my knees now against his thighs close, I can smell his aftershave too fucking close.

  “Stop what,” he repeats, the tenderness fading away as his frown deepens. “There are no secrets here.”

  Okay, fine.

  I lean forward.

  “Stop looking at me with shame in your eyes because you can’t help but want to give the mother of your child a chance to be everything you wish she was,” I snap. “That is your choice. I am not a rock in your way, or a complication or anything else for that matter. Your life, your choice.”

  Let her fuck you over if you have to, to see.

  Captain chokes on air, his Adam’s apple stuck up high as he tries to swallow but is denied.

  Silence surrounds us, and I’d almost say Captain looks embarrassed.

  “So much for no secrets, Cap.” I glance around the room at the glares of three Brayshaws, all directed at the one before me. “Seems your family didn’t know about that.”

  I slide off the barstool, taking my coffee with, and at first, I assume he allows it, but then the cup is snatched from my hand and I’m spun around.

  “You came in here yesterday knowing where I was going, didn’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “How?”

  I open my mouth to speak but close it.

  “How?” he shouts.

  I square my shoulders, letting out a long breath. “She told me.”

  Captain’s body goes stiff in front of me. “Mallory. She told you. When? What did she say?” He can’t hide the dreaded hope in his heart, and it continues to murder mine.

  He hears it, his family hears it, and everyone’s shoulders drop a little lower.

  “She wanted me to tell you not to wait for her, that...” I trail off when heavy creases form around his eyes. “She changed her mind.”

  Captain studies me a long hard moment, his hand flying from my elbow in the next.

  He jerks away.

  A switch is flipped and suddenly his guilt and embarrassment is too much, clouded with anger and resentment and confusion.

  He has no clue how to channel all the emotions flying at him at once and he knows it, the realization only makes this harder for him.

  He deals with it the only way that makes sense to him in this moment, by pointing a finger at someone else in hopes it dulls the ache building inside him.

  “You think I trusted her?” he asks with disgust, and I get the feeling it’s directed at himself. “I would never trust a word she says, not that I believe a fucking word you’re saying either.”

  Fair enough.

  His words are lies though, it’s why he’s coming undone in this exact moment—hearing the truth, that she didn’t simply get caught up or have an emergency she couldn’t get out of. She chose not to meet her daughter, turning her back on her for the second time, that’s how he sees it and it’s killing him.

  “What did you do, go looking for her?” he asks, shaking his head spitefully, but doesn’t let me answer. “You knew I was with her the other day, you been following me again?”

  He throws the coffee cup, sending it shattering into the sink, but I don’t jump like I imagine he wanted me to.

  “You need to mind your own fucking business,” he barks, stepping back only to creep in again. “Stay out of things that don’t concern you, especially something like this. You don’t know what’s best for her. You’re not her fucking mom!” he shouts.

  My muscles grow stiff and as if I swallowed a lump of flour, I fight for air I can’t get.

  He keeps going, and in my peripheral, both his brothers move closer, fearful their calm and collected brother might be losing his balance.

  “She might like you, Victoria, but she’s three! She likes everyone!” His voice carries across the house, echoing along the halls and ricocheting against my temples. He drives it home, pushing a hard finger into my chest as he tips his chin, staring at me through his lashes. “You are not her mom.”

  I never tried to be her mother, I only wanted to make sure she forever had someone in her corner when he couldn’t be, but I can’t say that to him now.

  So instead I nod my head and say, “You’re right. I’m not.”

  But my surrender to his words has a triggering effect, and the anger and pain he was trying to push off onto me, soaks inside his own soul.

  Naturally, as one does when they’re consumed with more than they can handle, drowning with no sight of the surface, he pushes harder, cuts deeper.

  I see it in his eyes, the resolve, the cut of the cord he was barely hanging on to.

  His shoulders square, eyes narrowing as his lip curls.

  “Maybe it’s good your mother was murdered,” he growls.

  “Captain!” Raven snaps.

  He ignores her, creeps closer, bending so we’re eye level. “My dad might have shown your mother mercy when she fucked up and stepped over the line, but I won’t be so kind with you.”

  That burns a fire under my own skin, and I punch him clear across the fucking jaw.

  “Oh shit,” comes from Royce, but nobody moves in.

  Captain’s head snaps to the side, the corner of h
is lip busting, but I wait until he drags it back to speak.

  “Fuck you, dick. I would never do a damn thing to take her from her home, and I don’t give a flying fuck if you believe me or not. At this point, I almost hope you don’t just so you feel like a helpless little bitch a time or two when you realize I’m not the fucking bad guy here.” I push at his chest, but he doesn’t budge. “You have no idea how fucked what you’re saying is,” I force past clenched teeth. “But if I have to be the bad guy to make you feel better, fine. Consider me warned, Cap. And fuck right off.”

  I shove again, pushing past him when he calls, “Try and leave and I’ll lock you in that room like a proper fucking princess.”

  A laugh bubbles out of me, and slowly, I spin to face him.

  “Typical broken boy bullshit,” I snap, and his brows crash in the center. “Can’t hardly look at me but can’t stand to see me go.”

  Head cocked, he glares through thick lashes, his tongue sneaking out to dab at the blood in the corner of his mouth. “Say what you want, I’m not fucking joking.”

  “Do you really think I would give up my place if you don’t come along with it?” I ask, shaking my head. “Because I won’t. So, go ahead, fuck Mallory some more, asshole, you never said you were mine, so you’ve got every right, yeah? But don’t do it expecting me to be sitting on the sidelines or crying in the fucking background. I won’t. I said I wanted you to be my Brayshaw, Captain. I never said a damn thing about needing you to become one.”

  I walk away, but I only make it to the door.

  “Victoria.” The urgency and panic in his tone is the only reason my feet don’t carry me outside.

  I take a deep breath and turn around, my throat closing at the sight.

  Captain is on his knees, shoulders dropped as low as they can go. He opens his mouth, but I cut him off.

  “If you say sorry right now, I’ll punch you again.”

  “I’ll take it,” he rasps. “Every one you’ve got. I’ll take ‘em, Beauty.”

  I look to his brothers, all stuck with frowns on their faces, pain on Raven’s, none of them have a single idea what to say—rare for a Brayshaw, let alone four.

  “Come to me.” The word leaves him on an empty breath.

  I shouldn’t, but I let my hand fall from the knob, allow my feet to carry me to the broken boy on the floor as his family stands back watching.

  I don’t get to decide what to do once I reach him, because his hands shoot out to grip my shirt and I’m tugged against him.

  His arms wrap tight around me, and he yanks me down, his legs swinging around so he can drop to his ass, placing mine in his lap.

  He doesn’t say a word, but he holds onto me like he can’t imagine letting me go.

  Minutes pass, and I find my hands lifting, my palms flattening on the sides of his face, and his head lifts.

  Regret buries the blue in his eyes, giving me only a murky green to stare into.

  He grips my face in his palms, staring deep into my eyes and says what I had no idea I needed to hear.

  “I didn’t fuck her.”

  Chapter 31

  Victoria

  Raven knocks on the doorframe, coming in slowly. “Damn, Vee. Tryin’ to make me look bad?”

  “Please.” I chuckle, fastening my belt. “They fell in love with you when all you wore were cheap sweats and a two-dollar tank top.”

  “Eh, it was less. Got that five-finger discount,” she teases, making her way to my bed and sitting on the edge.

  I laugh. “Right.”

  “The boys haven’t said much about what they think happened out at Maria’s,” she offers, assuming I was curious as to what conversations were had when I wasn’t around.

  She assumed right.

  “They have their PI looking but…”

  But she wasn’t all that important to them, so a manhunt isn’t something she’s afforded.

  Not that one would be needed.

  They must figure it has nothing to do with them, but simply her past catching up to her, as it does in places like this.

  She leans back on her hands. “You sure you’re up for this?”

  “It’s a concert with thousands of people.”

  “And we’ll be in a mid-level suite, each of us at arm’s length with no escape.”

  “I told you last night and the night before and earlier this morning, Raven. I’m going. I’m fine. Stop.” I slide my eyes her way.

  She nods, picking up my phone only to toss it to the side. “Have you guys talked?”

  “Nope. He played the part at school all week, as you saw, but as soon as eyes were away his hands were too. I’m leaving it alone.”

  “You think he’s talked to Mallory again?”

  I shrug, moving to the closet to grab my shoes. “I can’t see him reaching out after he gave her what she wanted and she bailed, but her... I’m not so sure about.”

  “Yeah, me either.”

  I sit down, glancing up to find her frowning.

  “What?”

  Her lips purse a moment, and then she sits up. “If I ask you a question, will you tell me the truth?”

  I hold her eyes a moment and then bend to zip up the side of my leopard print boots. I stand, adjusting the shoulders of my top, letting one side hang. “I’m done hiding, Raven. You can ask me whatever you want, and I’ll tell you the truth.”

  “I keep going back to why Mallory would stop to talk to you at all, to trust a stranger of a girl she saw with her ex to relay any kind of message.”

  I meet her gaze.

  “A stranger wouldn’t do that, would they?” she asks.

  “No,” I answer instantly. “A stranger wouldn’t.”

  Before she can say anything else, Maddoc walks in.

  He glares around the room, his eyes lifting to the chandelier. “For real?”

  I chuckle, I knew that thing had to have been added for me after Maddoc moved out of this room.

  Raven looks up laughing and then drops onto her back on my bed. “That would have been fun.”

  Royce is suddenly inside, too, and throws himself right beside her. “Oh, yeah.” He grins. “With the right reflection, proper positioning.” He spreads his hands out. “That’s like twenty ass cheeks, at least.”

  She laughs, letting Maddoc tug her up, and right as Captain appears, leaning against the doorframe.

  His eyes bounce across the room, landing on me. “Ready?”

  I nod, turning away to grab my phone off the charger, frowning at the long strand of hair that falls over my shoulder, into my face.

  I should have put it up.

  Hid it.

  I should cut and dye it.

  I must delay too long because suddenly I’m barricaded between strong shoulders and Cap’s hands land on mine.

  He pulls one behind me, helping me tuck my phone into my back pocket, and laces his fingers through the other.

  I turn my head as he lifts our clasped hands to his mouth, running his lips across our knuckles, only to let go.

  Royce’s arms are around us both in the next second. “Glad the class is getting along and all, but uh, baby girl’s asleep, the concert starts in an hour, and we’re all still sober. It’s a damn shame, really.”

  “Fuck you guys, are you really getting drunk?” Raven asks.

  I scoff, rolling my eyes as I walk toward the bedroom door. “Please, like your man would allow himself to be anything but stone-cold sober at a concert with his pregnant wife.”

  “She’s gettin’ it.” Maddoc eyes me as he passes us by, waiting for us to follow.

  She laughs, shoving me to the side and stepping out before me. “True dat.”

  My eyes travel over her as she descends the stairs ahead of me.

  About six months pregnant, and you’d never know by staring at the back of her.

  She’s trim and hourglass-shaped, still wearing her own low-rise jeans and Timberlands. Her black tank top almost blends with her long, sleek black hair. I
f it wasn’t for the deep purple tips and streaks it would.

  She looks over her shoulder, her gray eyes shining and popping against the heavy liner on her lids. “Seems he’s in a touchy mood tonight, huh, Vee.” She winks.

  “Raven.”

  She laughs, facing forward again. “My hands are on the railing, Big Man, and you’re right in front of me. I’m good.”

  I chuckle and Maddoc groans.

  Within an hour we’re walking into the arena.

  Of course, they got a suite with private security and table service, and no one asks for proof of ID.

  The waitress comes back as quickly as she left, and with a tray full of shit. Royce grabs the hand of a girl right behind her, pulling her inside with us as if he ordered her from the menu, too, but then Mac and Chloe, and a few others I recognize from school enter right behind them.

  I glance around at the newcomers, seeing a girl for each guy who’s entered.

  Royce catches my eye and he winks. “I got you, VicVee.”

  I chuckle, shifting in my seat.

  Captain leans against the black box railing, drink hanging from his fingers, eyes on me.

  I didn’t get a chance to fully look him over earlier, and I’m glad because this exact position, posture, and lighting and all make for a hell of a fantasy.

  His sandy blond hair is perfectly swept, but not in a preppy boy way, more tycoon, dark and dirty business-like.

  Black on black, sleeves rolled halfway up his forearms, tattooed knuckles screaming at me as he lifts the amber liquid to his lips, leaving nothing but ice in the bottom of his glass.

  I push to my feet, and his smirk slowly grows, but then the crowd goes wild, the last opening act stepping off the stage, having just announced it’s time to get the party rolling.

  It’s like nothing I’ve ever heard before.

  My eyes fly around the arena. Thousands upon thousands of people are on their feet, screaming and cheering. The lights go off, and it only gets louder, and then a single light above the stage kicks on, smoke following and there he is.

  G-Eazy takes the stage and when he does Raven practically leaps from her seat.

  Maddoc rolls his eyes, but he can’t hide the grin—anything to make her happy.

  “He make you think about that punk bitch, RaeRae?” Royce shouts over the crazy of the crowd’s shouts behind us.