Barbarian of Elysia

by Tom Gallier

  “Naar is our resetter,” Ramy said, clapping the lizardman on the shoulder. “And strong as two oxen.” Then to Naar, “Alex is on the crew now. He’ll help you.”

  Naar looked Alex up and down. “He looks strong. We’ll see.”

  Nakato left, and Ramy took charge of Alex’s training. First thing, they went over the ballista’s construction top to bottom. The ballista was a wooden box full of rope, resting atop a thick pedestal, with an opening in the middle for the dart to pass through. The thick ropes were twisted with capstans to either side, with thick wooden arms thrust into the ropes. The winch wheels pulling the thick drawstring back looked like a pair of tinker toys on either side of the ladder: thick round disks with holes bored all around the outer edge. One on either side. So Naar put Alex on the right side, and he took the left, and with short levers they slowly cranked the drawstring back by turning the winch wheels. Tat-tat-tat it went up the iron ratchet.

  “Maybe the captain will take us over into the desert,” Ramy said. “We draw targets on the sand dunes and practice. These cast iron bolts aren’t cheap, so shooting them into sand lets us retrieve them. I’ll let you take a few practice shots, too, but don’t expect to take my job. It’s not easy hitting a target, and takes lots of practice.”

  Alex looked at Ramy, and then at the ballista. How difficult could it be? Point and aim. The thing swiveled on that pedestal, and looked heavy. Maybe a stronger man like himself could control it better, and thus hit the target more often. But he wasn’t going to tell Ramy that. The crew boss looked like he had a chip on his shoulder as he returned Alex’s gaze.

  “Sounds like fun,” Alex said. “So, what kind of maintenance do we –”

  “Sail ho!” the lookout high up in the crow’s nest called. “Low on Port.”

  They rushed to the rails. It took Alex a moment to find it. The other ship was barely a speck on the horizon. Didn’t matter, Captain Tiana began barking orders. Everyone burst into activity. All ballista crews assembled around their weapons as the ship rose higher and turned into a huge, billowy cloud. And it got wet fast.

  How do these ships not rot in the first year?

  “Drop the lookout,” Tiana commanded.

  Alex remembered the man they lowered out of clouds to spy out victim ships. Sounded like the suckiest job onboard, though some might find it thrilling. Hell, Helene seemed to be enough of a thrill seeker to enjoy it. And then he noticed everyone was grinning at him.

  “What? Who? Me?”

  “You’re the lowest of the low, scab,” Ramy sneered. He had a vicious gleam in his eyes. “So overboard you go.”

  Alex’s jaw dropped when Nakato dropped a pair of coiled up ropes at his feet. He was ordered to tie the thicker of the two ropes around his ankles. The thin rope was his signal rope. Alex suddenly had to pee so bad.

  “This sucks,” Alex said, but sat on deck and tied the rope around his booted ankles. Nakato suggested he remove the boots, but Alex didn’t care for the idea of rope burn. Even wearing boots, he’d probably get some bruising. “How does this work?”

  “We’ll lower you from the ship,” Nakato said. “You hold onto the tug line. As soon as you break out of the cloud, give it a single tug. After that, a single tug means you need to be lowered some more. Two tugs means to pull you up a little. Jerk like hell when the ship is too close to escape us, and then we’ll haul your ass back up.”

  That seemed simple enough. Still, a sense of doom and foreboding filled him as he threw his bound legs over the side. He made sure the dozen men manning his rope were ready, and then said a prayer as he pushed off.

  “Son of a –” he cried, freefalling to just below the ship. He came to a jolting stop, bouncing at the end of that rope. His feet slipped a little inside his boots. “Did I tie that rope tight enough?”

  Alex felt himself dropping quickly. Too quickly. Did they just let go? And then he jerked to a stop again, before they began to lower him more slowly.

  Bet those jerks did that just to see if I piss myself, he thought with a scowl. Almost did. Stupid jokers.

  He finally emerged from the bottom of the cloud. The other ship looked noticeably closer, so he gave the tug line a jerk. His descent stopped. What an odd sensation, too. He could feel the ship was still under sail, moving in sync with the cloud.

  And then his feet slipped a little more.

  “Holy shit!”

  In his panic, Alex released the tug line and tried to bend up at the waist. Tried to grab hold of the rope as his feet continued to slip out of his boots.

  Why didn’t they just tell me not to wear boots!

  He heard snapping and looked around with frantic eyes. The other ship was speeding by below. They were moving in a different direction as Wraith, and a whole lot faster. Alex realized he needed to signal the ship to attack. And pull him up.

  “Where’s the stupid tug line?”

  Alex’s feet slipped out of his boots, and he plunged straight down.

  Chapter 16

  Alex screamed. Part of his brain said screaming was a useless way to spend his last few seconds alive, but he couldn’t stop. Blind panic consumed him. Then he changed from fear of plunging into the ocean to slamming into the merchantman flying by below him.

  It lasted only a few seconds, but a few images burned into his brain. Water far below. Ship beneath him. Man in the crow’s nest looking up and locking eyes. And then he hit.

  He hit the main sail, which put him into a spin as he rolled down it. And then it threw him out onto the deck. Alex hit with a grunt, all air exploding out of his lungs.

  Rolling to all fours, he gasped and hacked, struggling to get air back into his deflated lungs. For a moment, that was all Alex thought or cared about. When his breathing started to normalize, he stiffened and looked around. Sailors stood all around gawking at him.

  “Pirates!”

  “Ah, crap,” he cried, and leapt to his feet.

  Sailors charged him. All brandishing long belt knives. Alex didn’t even have a belt knife. He kicked and threw punches, keeping the sailors at bay. It looked good for about a minute, but then another sailor came running up laden with swords. Everyone was quickly armed, except for Alex.

  “Well this has taken a nasty turn,” he muttered.

  “Kill him,” a portly man shouted as he marched up. “A Tymnosian sun to the man that slays him.”

  The newcomer’s fine clothes and haughty airs made Alex wonder if he was a noble passenger. Surely that wasn’t the ship’s master. He didn’t look like he’d ever put in an honest day’s work in his life. The fact he offered the man who killed him a gold coin spoke of great wealth. A gold coin was a fortune to most commoners who rarely even possessed a silver coin.

  “I’ll give you each ten suns if you elect me captain, and toss that girly-boy over the side,” Alex said.

  Strangely, the sailors all stopped. Were they considering his offer? He noticed more than a few eyes looked at his waist. A waist sans belt, so no purse. No money to back up his offer. But if he did, would they?

  “Kill him!” the rich man shouted, face almost purple in his rage. “I want his head!”

  The sailors smiled. Not happy smiles. Cruel smiles. Vicious smiles. Some of their eyes filled with wicked glee. Alex looked between their scary faces and the swords in their hands. Yep, the dream had taken a nasty turn, as dreams are wont to do.

  “Wake up. Wake up,” he muttered, slowly backing toward the side. Should he go over the side? Was that a better death? Then he looked up. Ratlines. But the sailors were one and all far more at home up there than him. “Wake up.”

  The sailors paused. Their expressions changed. Alex almost laughed. They thought he was crazy. Didn’t matter, because they soon resumed stalking forward. And then he backed into and tripped over a mop and bucket.

  Alex grabbed the mop, and used it to propel the bucket of sloshing water at the sailors. He caught one of them in the shin, bringing forth a stream of foul language. Small victori
es.

  Mop in hand, Alex spun it around more to confuse his foes than anything. And then slammed the wet mop head into the face of a sailor. As he went down cursing, Alex spun and kicked another in the face. That was followed by jamming the handle into the throat of a third sailor. And he had the initiative, forcing them all back.

  “Hey, girly-boy, how much gold will you pay me for each sailor I kill?”

  It didn’t last long. One of the mates barked orders, and got control. They started working together, forcing Alex to give ground. A shadow passed over the ship as they backed him up against the port railing.

  Alex smiled at them, wagging his brows.

  “Hey, boys, have you asked yourself one very important question yet?”

  They hesitated, giving him wary looks.

  Alex’s smile broadened. “A pirate fell out of the sky and onto your ship. From where did I fall?”

  They looked taken aback, and then one of them looked up. His eyes got huge.

  “Pirates!”

  Wraith descended quickly behind Alex. He watched the blood drain from the sailors’ faces. Even Lord Girly-boy looked stricken. Alex glanced back over his shoulder. His crewmates were massed on deck, weapons and grappling hooks in hand. And then the grapples arched over to the merchantman.

  “Run!” Alex screamed, and the sailors panicked.

  Some charged the pirates, others dropped their weapons, turned, and ran. But to where? There was nowhere to go but down. And one guy even jumped over the side.

  Really? Alex wondered. Idiot.

  Alex snatched up a dropped sword, and tore into the defenders. The sailors were tough as old leather, but not sword fighters. The pirates quickly overwhelmed the merchantman’s crew, forcing them to drop their weapons and kneel in surrender. The fight was over in just a few minutes.

  Hell, I fought them off longer than that with just a mop.

  “Alex!” Helene cried, and plowed into him. “You’re still alive.”

  “Not anymore. I think you just broke something important,” he groaned, laying flat on his back with the pirate witch straddling his waist and kissing his chest. “But thanks for caring.”

  Nakato strode up, looked down at him with a frown, and then shook his head before stalking away. Then Nicanor arrived, pulling Helene off. The pirate gave Alex a murderous look.

  Alex stood and looked around. It felt amazing to still be alive. He’d never felt more alive, in fact. Maybe he was an adrenaline junkie, too, and just never realized it.

  Then Captain Tiana stomped up, looking furious. She punched him in the chest. Yeah, it hurt.

  “What’s wrong with you?” she shouted. “Don’t ever scare me like that again.”

  “Okay, I won’t.”

  “Better not,” she snarled. “Or I’ll kill you.”

  Alex couldn’t help himself. He grinned, all tingly. Life was good! And, damn, Tiana looked amazing. His eyes dropped to her shapely rump when she turned toward the girly-boy. She was wearing a pair of black leather pants that made her sweet round butt POP. Took his breath away.

  “Do you know just how gorgeous and sexy you are when mad?” Alex asked.

  Tiana slanted an amused look back over her shoulder. “Yes. I do. Come with me.”

  They found the girly-boy and a wizened old man, who reminded Alex of Captain Jacobi. They were backed up in the stern, looking surly.

  “Which one of you is ship’s master?” Tiana demanded.

  “I’m Captain Uthenor,” the old man said. He indicated the girly-boy. “Master Oras owns the ship.”

  “Captain!” Nakato called, rushing up out of the hold. “We hit it rich, Captain.”

  Alex had never seen Nakato excited about anything. But the First Mate was practically besides himself with glee.

  “Oh? What’s the cargo? Gold bullion?”

  “No. It’s better,” Nakato said, grinning with mercenary glee. “Salt!”

  Tiana cried out in her joy, as did the rest of the pirates. Alex never felt more out of place. Why were they so excited about salt? He couldn’t image a more worthless cargo. Sugar, now that was something to celebrate. Salt, not so much.

  “Helene,” Tiana said. “Post a witch on this ship. We’re taking her to Port Xerses.” She turned to Nakato. “Pick a crew and follow us.”

  She turned to regard the now frightened looking captain and salt merchant. Tiana smiled, but it was a cruel little smile.

  “Since I’m feeling generous after this rich capture, I’ve decided to let you and your crew live,” she said. “Man your lifeboats.”

  The merchantman Gentle Breeze had two lifeboats. The crew was small enough to crowd into one of them. Very crowded. Their Lift Witch cast his magic, and the small boat lifted up and flew away with one triangular sail.

  Tiana then looked at Alex. “Someone teach this fool how to tie a simple knot!”

  Chapter 17

  It took two days to reach Port Xerses, which proved a surprise for Alex. He expected a port town like Zarana. Instead, he found Port Xerses high in the coastal mountains of the Southern Continent, probably less than ten miles from the actual coastline. The town encircled a mountain lake, and otherwise looked much like previous white-washed towns he’d seen. There were a number of fortresses atop the surrounding peaks.

  Alex stood behind Tiana on the foredeck, hugging her tightly to his chest. The crew scrambled behind them, preparing for docking. He could see a small longship rising up to meet them.

  “Who is that?” he asked.

  “Port Master,” she said. “Coming up so we can ask nicely to visit their town and spend our money.” She leaned her head back on his shoulder, offering her lips. Their kiss lingered. “You’re buying the first round.”

  One of her hands snaked down between his legs and gave his junk a little squeeze. So he copped a feel, too. And she started rubbing…

  “Can Nakato talk to the boys from port,” he whispered in her ear, letting her hear the need in his voice. “I want to make you scream my name, over and over.”

  “Mmm, tempting,” she growled, “But no. I’m captain, and have to do my job just like everyone else.” She kissed him again. “But later, after I get you nice and drunk, I’m going to make you scream my name all night long.”

  “I accept your challenge, beautiful Pirate Queen,” he said, kissing her ear and making her squirm. “First to make the other scream their name wins.”

  “What will I win?”

  “Anything you want.”

  Her grin got wicked. “A threesome with Nakato?”

  That took him aback. Tiana had never indicated any interest in other men since he’d hooked up with her, or in a threesome of any kind. A threesome sounded awesome to Alex, but he was thinking a different kind of arrangement.

  “Only if my prize for winning is a threesome with Helene.”

  He thought her request for a threesome with Nakato was a naughty little taunt. So what was good for the goose was good for the gander, and all that crap. Only Tiana didn’t laugh it off and back down. Her eyes lit up with eagerness.

  “It’s a bet,” Tiana said. “Helene’s crazy in bed. I could almost do her one-on-one.”

  “Huh?”

  Alex’s jaw dropped. That didn’t go as expected.

  Her acceptance could prove troublesome. For one, would Helene even agree to a threesome? How would her ship-board lover, Nicanor, react? Everything showed him to be the jealous type. And Nakato. Would he agree to a threesome? The thought of sharing Tiana with another man repulsed Alex, especially a man as big and virile as the First Mate.

  “I think I’m getting a raw deal here,” Alex said.

  She giggled. “Yes. Yes you are.”

  What the hell did that mean? But she squeezed him again, and Alex forgot all about the First Mate, and thought about how awesome it would be to watch Tiana and Helene go at each other like wildcats.

  Then the Port Master’s boat arrived and three officials boarded Wraith. He tagged along as C
aptain Tiana haggled port fees for both ships, and then they went over to Gentle Breeze to check out the cargo. That ended with more haggling over the tariff charged. Fortunately, they were willing to take their tariff and port fees in salt.

  Captain Tiana got her pier assignments, and the Port Master’s boat led them down to Port Xerses. Tugs were waiting in the water, and quickly got both ships snuggled up to piers. Officials promptly showed up for their agreed upon salt.

  “Nicanor!” Tiana said. The pirate hurried over, giving Alex an unfriendly glance, before ignoring him. “Go hire some wagons and start offloading the salt. I’ll send word where to deliver it as soon as I strike a deal. Nakato, Helene, and Alex, you’re with me.”

  Nicanor stiffened, looking at Helene and then Alex. Helene never looked his way, while Alex just shook his head. Helene’s boy toy did not look happy as he disembarked the ship.

  Nakato and Helene came over, and the captain and First Mate began discussing how best to dispose of Gentle Breeze: Sell it in Port Xerses, or take it with them back to the Broken Isles. Alex moved up close to Helene, catching her eyes with a grin.

  “Your boyfriend is crazy,” Alex said.

  She looked confused. “What does ‘boyfriend’ mean?”

  He looked meaningfully at Nicanor’s retreating back. The other pirate had reached the end of the pier, pausing to get his bearings.

  “Your lover. Nicanor.”

  She glanced his way and frowned. “Yes. It’s annoying. But, damn, he’s good in bed.”

  “As good as me?”

  “Better,” she said with a smirk. “Nicanor gives it to me perfectly rough. You’re too gentle.”

  “I should spank you for that,” he teased.

  She winked. “I agree. You would certainly enjoy my reaction.” She bit her lip, eyes afire with mischief. “And how I returned the favor.”

  Helene looked down and giggled. Yeah, little Alex had stood at attention. So embarrassing, especially when Tiana and Nakato turned back to them. Both of their eyes dropped to his bulging crotch.