Barbarian of Elysia

by Tom Gallier

  “You haven’t won yet,” Tiana said, and kissed him.

  Nakato and Helene looked confused. Alex shrugged, and then followed Tiana as she strode toward the gangway. Nakato quickly pushed past him, forcing him back with Helene. Fine with him.

  “Do you know where we are going?”

  Helene nodded. “Yes.”

  “Feel free to elaborate.”

  She rolled her eyes. “We’re going to see Master Elias. He’s Port Xerses’ resident salt merchant. Does that tell you anything?”

  “Not really,” he said. “Why not sell to a fence?”

  “Ultimately, every merchant is a fence,” she said. “Especially in a place like Port Xerses.” She waved toward the other docked ships. “They’re all pirates and smugglers, too.”

  She explained that Port Xerses was a pirate enclave, buying loot and selling supplies, as well as having too many brothels and taverns to count. Captains visited the port to sell loot, while the crew just wanted to spend their cut on alcohol and women.

  “Sounds like a fun place,” he said.

  Master Elias’ place was a three-story stone drum tower, painted a bright red with white trim. Port Xerses might be mostly white washed buildings, but they had more brightly painted homes and businesses than any other place Alex had seen on Elysia. Helene agreed, saying the whitewashing was really a Sybari and Qûm custom. It was common all around the Inner Sea, too, but not so much elsewhere.

  A dozen big, surly looking men guarded the salt merchant’s fortress home. They were armed to the teeth and protected by mail shirts, iron helmets, and large round shields. More men armed with bows lined the crenellated roof.

  Tiana and Nakato spoke with one of Elias’ agents at the door, before being invited inside. He only allowed the two officers inside.

  “There’s a tavern down the street. We’ll meet you there after we finish our business with Master Elias,” Tiana said.

  “We’ve been ordered to get drunk,” Alex said.

  Helene just laughed. They found the tavern easily enough. The saucy music drifting out of its small windows and open door called to them. Alex led the way inside, looking around for trouble first thing. Everyone looked in good spirits, so he relaxed. Helene stepped past him and led the way to an empty table. A serving wench delivered two cups of red wine.

  “Do you have beer?” Alex asked.

  The serving wench just curled her lip at him and left. Helene laughed at him.

  “Are you trying to start a fight?” she asked. “Beer is for slaves and children. Real men drink wine.”

  “I believe it,” he muttered, taking a sip. “This shit’s stronger than Everclear.”

  Helene paused to stare at him. “You say the oddest things.”

  He saluted her with his cup. “You should be nice to me. If I win a wager with Tiana, then you, me, and Tiana are going to have a threesome. If you’re mean to me, I’ll have to be very sweet and gentle with you during that threesome.”

  Her jaw dropped. Then her lips curled into a wicked little smile. “You think Nicanor is crazy? You’re out of your mind.”

  “Is that a no?”

  Her wicked grin spread to her eyes. “No, it’s not, but Nicanor is going to kill you. And I, for one, will miss you.”

  Helene emptied her cup in one long swallow. All Alex could do was stare. Throwing back such strong drink like that would kill him, but she smacked her lips and slammed the cup down.

  “Wench! Another round here.” Helene looked at Alex. “He’s paying. Every round.”

  “Oh?”

  “Don’t worry, two or three more,” she said, wagging her brows. “And you and I are going to start without Tiana.”

  “Wench! Two cups each!”

  Alex pulled Helene onto his lap and claimed her lips. It got hot and heavy fast. Alex didn’t even notice when the serving wench delivered the wine. Everyone else in the tavern melted away, and he let his lips and hands roam her amazing body.

  “Your body is a wonderland,” he whispered. That made her eyes widen, and her body tremble. Damn, it works!

  It didn’t take long before her halter top was down around her waist. Helene offered no fight, but succumbed breathlessly. Soon, they were both hot and panting, grasping at each other in desperation.

  “Heh, we don’t allow that in here,” the serving wench said, slapping Alex in the back of the head. “Drink your wine, or go get a room.”

  “Well, the captain said to meet her here,” Helene said, looking dazed and tousled.

  “Screw that,” he said, tossing enough bronze coins on the table to pay for the wine. Then he stood up, threw Helene over his shoulder, and headed for the door. Men stood and cheered him on, while Helene squealed, kicked her feet, and pounded on his back. “We’ll be back!”

  Alex stopped in the middle of the street. Everyone turned to stare at them. Probably because Helene continued to giggle, squeal, and pound on his back. He didn’t see anything that looked like an inn, but spotted something almost as good. A stable. Even in the mountains, rich people wanted horses to show off their wealth.

  “Seriously? I don’t even rate a proper bed?”

  “Shut up,” he said, and swatted her rump. It felt nice and firm and round under his hand. “I’m a barbarian. Remember?”

  “Help me. Help me,” she cried playfully. “I’m going to be ravished by the big barbarian. And get hay in my hair.”

  Alex found the stable master. He was a forty-something character, with a missing ear and thumb. He just grinned and accepted the bronze coin, before pointing at the ladder up into the hayloft.

  He went up that ladder, while she continued to struggle. So he gave her rump another playful swat.

  “Harder!” she cried, and giggled.

  So he threw her into a pile of hay. Helene bounced right back into his arms, hands and lips all over. They stripped each other in a hot rush, kissing and fondling all the way.

  “Stop,” she said, and dropped to her knees.

  Helene held his eyes with the sultriest gaze, while her long, delicate fingers wrapped around his stiff shaft. She continued to stare up into his eyes as she stroked him to rock hardness, while teasing his pisshole with the tip of her finger.

  He couldn’t stop it. That rush to climax consumed him, hot tingles flowing down into his thighs, and… Alex released. Shot it right into her open, eager mouth.

  “Oops,” she said, and giggled. Helene licked her lips, and then sat back on her legs. “Don’t worry. I have something.”

  She dug through her clothes, pulling out her purse. A moment later she fished out a bright red ring. It looked like it was carved out of a ruby. And its big diameter was just right. She slipped it over his semi-flaccid cock, pushing it snuggly down to the base. And then she tapped the cock ring three times and muttered a magic word.

  “Wow,” Alex cried, instantly hard as a rock. “I love magic.”

  “Me, too,” she said, and went down on him again. And she quickly got her reward. Again. “Mmm, do all barbarians taste as good as you?”

  “No. I’m special,” he said. Alex grabbed a fistful of hair. Yanking her head back, he kissed her long and deep. “So you like rough, do you?”

  “Oh baby!”

  Alex forced her to all fours, moving around behind her. His free hand copped a feel of her boobs. He pinched, pulled, and rolled her nipples until she gasped and bucked. Then he swatted her shapely butt, loving the sound of that Thwack in the close quarters of the loft. And finally, he reached back between her legs and started rubbing.

  “Yes! Yes!”

  Forcing her head and shoulders to the ground, Alex rubbed harder and faster. She started kicking her feet, hands clawing at the straw. He rubbed until her face turned red, and then thrust his fingers in deep.

  Helene screamed her climax. Her body stiffened, and then became a trembling mess in his hands. And that’s when Alex guided his cock to her quivering sex, and thrust in deep.

  “Uggh!” she grunted.
“Harder.”

  “Maybe I’ll take you from Nicanor, and make you join me and Tiana permanently,” he growled.

  “Yes. Yes,” she cried, bucking.

  “I’m keeping the magic cockring,” he said. “Any problem with that?”

  Alex thrust harder, faster. He felt out of control. Crazy, even. Yet, glorious at the same time. Was this living la vida loca? Was this living his best life?

  “It’s yours,” she gasped. “Oh yes. Yes. Yes.”

  Sheathing himself all the way inside her, Alex released his seed. He felt like a god. God of Sex. He could have any woman he wanted, and he wanted every single one of them! Now he just had to make Tiana scream his name first, and he could get started molding this world to his desire.

  I wonder if they allow men to have harems in this world?

  Chapter 18

  “How long were we in there?” Alex asked, noticing the light outside looked different.

  “Too long,” Helene said. Then she turned a sultry smile up at him. “And not nearly long enough. But we’re probably in trouble.”

  They stopped in the intersection. The tavern was on the cross street to their right, with the salt merchant’s house higher up the street to the left. Men were busy unloading a train of wagons into the merchant’s house. Alex’s eyes fell upon Tiana, Nakato, and Nicanor standing off to one side with three other men in fancy robes.

  One of the robed men was counting out coins from a wooden box and into an open sack that Nakato was holding. Helene practically bounced as she hurried toward them, and Alex felt a thrill as well. That would be his first cut of pirate loot.

  “Where have you two been hiding?” Tiana asked, giving them an annoyed look.

  Nicanor moved between Alex and Helene, and then pulled a few straws out of her tousled hair. Yeah, he cut a hostile look at Alex.

  “Oh, just, um, kicking around,” Alex said. “We may or may not have gotten into a little struggling match over by the stables. Nothing to worry about.”

  “Yes,” Helene said a little too quickly. “Alex is quite the wrestler. And I got caught up in it, too.”

  “We had fun,” Alex said.

  Helene shot him a surprised look. Nicanor scowled, but seemed consoled, if not entirely convinced. Tiana and Nakato shook their heads and smirked. And then Tiana glanced at Nakato, before indicating Alex by pointing with her chin.

  “Here, scab,” Nakato said, thrusting the sack of coins in Alex’s arms. “Earn your cut. Carry this back to the ship.”

  Alex grunted. That sack was heavy.

  Tiana led the pirates back to Wraith. The crew waited with mercenary eyes. Even the men crewing Gentle Breeze came over. Alex set the sack in the middle of the deck. The captain knelt beside it and slowly counted every single coin out into two piles while everyone watched, listened, and counted with her. One pile was returned to the sack to cover the ship’s expenses. Then some simple math happened and the other half was divvied up equally among the crew. The captain and mates received the exact same cut as everyone else, which surprised Alex to no end.

  Alex’s cut was three gold suns, eleven silver moons, and fifty bronze coins. A fortune by Elysian standards. It gave him a satisfyingly heavy coin purse.

  “Nakato, you have the watch. Pick ten men to remain behind. I’ll relieve you and them in time to celebrate with the crew,” Tiana shouted. “The rest of us are going up to the Golden Lion. Alex is buying the first round for everyone!”

  “What?”

  “New crew always buys the first round at the next port of call,” Tiana said, winking.

  The Golden Lion was a tavern a short walk up the docks. The name was the only thing fancy about the place. Indeed, it was the seediest looking tavern Alex had even visited, and the clientele looked like cutthroats and muggers, and, well, pirates. Captain Tiana was greeted with cheers and catcalls. Quite a few very salacious suggestions, in fact. Requests for the beautiful redhead to “shiver my timber,” “ride my bowsprit,” and “polish my main mast” were received in good humor. Tiana laughed, and made a few crude suggestions in return.

  “Barkeep!” Alex shouted over the crowd. “A round for everyone!”

  Men jumped up to clap him on the back. Others began dancing to a lively tune played by a trio of small, skinny, and greenish manlike creatures.

  “Goblin musicians?” Alex said.

  They ranged in size from four to four-and-a-half feet tall. Massive hooked noses dominated their faces, with weak chins and no hair. Black ink tattoos and ritual scaring decorated their faces and all exposed skin. Otherwise, they dressed much like the locals.

  “Is there a problem?” Tiana asked. “You’ve never seen a goblin playing music?”

  “First time.” He gawked at them a moment. “I’ve never heard anything but bad things about them. It’s odd seeing them doing something normal.”

  Alex’s attention was pulled away from the musicians when serving wenches started squealing as jubilant men grabbed them in celebration. Everyone was happy, and Alex made himself a hero to men he didn’t even know. Well, there were a few men giving the pirates, especially Captain Tiana, hostile looks.

  Tiana took him by the hand, leading Alex to a table centered on the back wall. Three men sat at that table. They got up and moved away at her approach. Alex gave them a curious look, but Tiana remained unfazed. She accepted it as her right.

  “How scary are you?” he asked once seated, with the smiling pirate captain in his lap.

  “Very,” she said and kissed him. “I scare myself sometimes.”

  “I think you’re scary beautiful,” he said, nuzzling her ear and loving the way it made her squirm and wiggle.

  “Is that what you told Helene to get her in the hay?”

  “No. Poor thing was so needy she forced herself on me,” he said. Tiana laughed. “Well, I might be exaggerating a little.”

  He spotted Nicanor being led toward them by Helene. The other pirate didn’t look happy, but Helene looked amazingly vivacious and sexy. Alex admired how she moved through the crowd with feline grace, avoiding bold hands trying to touch her inappropriately. Nicanor failed to notice due to glaring at Alex.

  “Mind if we join you, Captain?” Helene asked.

  Tiana kissed Alex instead of answering. Was she letting Helene know he belonged to her? She slanted a look over her shoulder, catching Helene’s eyes as her hand combed through Alex’s hair. And plucked out a straw of hay.

  Nicanor’s eyes flashed in fury. “You goat-licker!”

  Helene cried out. Nicanor charged over the table, with Tiana still sitting on Alex’s lap. His hands went for Alex’s throat, but the captain threw a leg up and over, sweeping him to the side. All he managed to do was grab hold of her long hair and yank Tiana to the floor.

  Shit just hit the fan, Alex thought.

  Tiana’s hand reached for her hilt. Alex surged to his feet as Nicanor started to rise. He lashed out with a foot, catching the other pirate in the chest. Nicanor flew back atop another table, which collapsed under the force of the impact.

  Everyone in the tavern froze. That surprised Alex. He expected everyone to start fighting. Didn’t pirates enjoy a good barroom brawl? But then he noticed the men who’d been sitting at that table. The three young men were finely attired, and looked rich and privileged. A voice deep inside screamed “nobleman.”

  “How dare you!” one of them cried.

  The offended noble pulled a sword and thrust at Nicanor’s heart. Alex rushed them, pulling his sword at the same time. In a heartbeat, Alex swung just in time to parry the young nobleman’s blade, saving Nicanor’s life. Then the other two nobles pulled steel.

  The angry noble again tried to skewer Nicanor, who was trying to scramble away on all fours. Helene threw something. It exploded on the man’s chest, and he was instantly covered in small black spiders.

  He let out a shriek, brushing frantically at the spiders. His friends jumped to help, but at the same time Alex, Nicanor, and other p
irates from Wraith came together and drove them out the door.

  “Well, that was fun,” Alex said. “For some of us.”

  With Helene fawning over him, Nicanor’s anger faded. He did take the witch by the hand, taking her to a table across the tavern. Alex returned to Tiana, who remained in good spirits despite everything.

  “Let the drunken debauchery begin!” Tiana shouted.

  Wine flowed freely. Alex bought a second round for the tavern, and Tiana bought one. The music proved upbeat and fun. Men danced. They arm wrestled and played dice in the corner. Everyone drank quite a lot, and it wasn’t long before Alex had his buzz on.

  By the time he noticed the light fading, Alex wasn’t feeling any pain. Tiana looked even drunker. Helene was topless and dancing on a table for Nicanor and three others. He gave Tiana a speculative glance, wondering how much booze it would take to get her up on a table dancing topless. From the glazed look in her eyes, probably not much more.

  Silence fell upon the tavern. The musicians stopped playing first, followed by all sounds of celebration from the patrons. Alex found the problem at the door. The angry young nobleman from earlier had returned, and not alone.

  “Well fuck me stupid,” Tiana whispered. “The craven pup went and rounded up the city watch.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “We have to leave town immediately,” she said. “Or be thrown in jail.” Then in a loud, commanding voice. “Back to the ship, boys. We’ve overstayed our welcome.”

  “Not this time,” the nobleman sneered. He locked eyes with Alex. “Commander, arrest everyone!”

  No one needed to tell Alex that they’d fare badly in local custody. Petty kings operated like mob bosses running protection rackets. The city watch was their enforcers. Nobles were just well-dressed lieutenants, underbosses. And the sentence for most “crimes” against one of their own tended to be either death or slavery.

  “To arms!” Tiana cried, pulling her sword. “Attack! Kill them all!”

  Alex didn’t hesitate pulling his sword. Tiana surged past him, charging the young nobleman with fury in her eyes. He followed, protecting her flank. The noble met her halfway, and they traded blows, swords clashing loudly in that tight space. The crowd split, surging toward both exits, and the windows.