Barbarian of Elysia

by Tom Gallier

  He pushed the pirate captain’s sweet round butt up high enough to get a look. Helene smiled back at him, on all fours between his legs. She continued to lick him sensuously, a look of hunger filling her eyes. He glanced over to port to find Nicanor sprawled out and looking unconscious. Qinny lay sprawled atop him, nuzzling his chest.

  Is that what Tiana told Qinny to…

  Helene went down on him, and then all thought washed out of his mind. Tiana pressed her sex back against his mouth, and he eagerly obliged her desire. Helene continued to make love to his cock with her mouth and tongue, and Alex savored the two sexiest women he’d ever known.

  I love my life!

  Chapter 22

  Everywhere Alex looked lay endless forest. Dark primordial forests, too. In the two weeks since their rushed departure from Port Xerses, Wraith had sailed across the Inner Sea, turned east to the coast of Sybaro, before turning north again to sail toward the heart of the Northern Continent. That stressed him out a little at first, but after landing in a lake to hunt for meat and gather wild fruits and vegetables, Alex made peace with being on a ship without water below.

  In that time, they’d spotted five merchantmen. Two plain outran the pirates, having more sail. Two others made it close enough to a port city for Tiana to call off the chase. And one ship was crewed by seven foot tall minotaurs spoiling for a fight. The captain said the ship was too small to have a cargo worth the losses we’d suffer.

  “Hey, Captain Tiana, ma’am,” he said. Alex stood atop the sterncastle with her. He was officially her bodyguard. They gave up trying to make a sailor out of him. “Why don’t we head northeast to Jar? I’ve always wanted to go see my homeland. I hear it’s beautiful.”

  She looked at him askew, and then did it again. “Shut up. That doesn’t even make sense.”

  Alex grinned. It amused him to drive her crazy. She liked it, too, but would never admit it. Being a woman and all. Of course, Alex had other ways to do it that were a lot more fun for both of them, but she had to run the ship. As her bodyguard, he pretty much followed her around the ship and ogled her butt all day. And fantasized about how he wanted to drive her crazy in bed. Yeah, Tiana had a sweetly rounded back side. And she wore tight leather pants most of the time.

  Three huge lakes, called the Three Sisters, lay on the horizon before the ship. He thought of them as that world’s Great Lakes. The southernmost of the lakes was the headwaters of the great Somme River that bisected the lower half of the continent. To the west of the Somme lay the Elven Lands. To the east lay the Human Lands.

  “Sail ho!” came down from the crow’s nest.

  He looked up to see the lookout pointing to port. Alex followed that line of sight out to find five white specks to the south. The ships were moving away from Wraith at a good clip. He guessed they’d just left one of the many port cities that lined the Three Sisters, following the Somme down to the Inner Sea.

  Captain Tiana began barking orders. The crew jumped into action. Alex felt the excitement, though the idea of actually taking a ship and killing a lot of innocent sailors still bothered him. He tried to not think about it. At the same time, he looked forward to a good fight. Yeah, he worried about himself sometimes.

  “Nakato, we’ll take the trailing ship,” Tiana said. Nakato stood on the main deck, with the second mate on the foredeck. “Laggards lose.”

  “Is it common for merchant ships to form fleets like that?” Alex asked.

  “No,” she said. Tiana grinned at him with wicked glee. “But it’s not uncommon when they all have particularly valuable cargos. The Three Sisters area is a major center of trade in gold, silver, and amber.”

  Those ships could be filled with gold, silver, and amber? Capturing one of them could bring Wraith’s crew a major windfall. They’d all be rich. Not just pirate rich, but merchant rich.

  “I’ve always wanted to be rich,” he said, and that brought him to a stop.

  Alex was rich. Filthy rich, in fact, back in his world. He’d been in the world of Elysia for twenty-three days. Over three weeks of waiting for the dream to end. It wasn’t ending. Some days he faced the fact that this was his new life. And a damn good one, too. But sometimes Alex yearned for twenty-first century conveniences and luxuries. Like air-conditioning and food. Elysia could get hot, and these people didn’t seem to mind eating the same damned bland food day after day after day, ad nauseam.

  Wraith’s timbers moaned and groaned as sails were furled, and others unfurled, Helene lifted her up to high above the merchantman fleet, which buffeted the ship all around as she passed through winds blowing different directions, at different speeds. But the crew quickly got them heading under full sails toward the merchantmen far below. Since Wraith was much larger, she had more sails, so was much faster.

  “Can we take on five ships at once?”

  “Probably not,” Tiana said. “But we can only catch one at a time.”

  That seemed odd. Why form a fleet for protection if you didn’t all help each other if attacked. But then again, this world’s flying ships couldn’t just turn around and attack another ship. He assumed each ship’s captain had bear-attack mentality: They just have to be faster than another ship to escape.

  “The others won’t stop to help their fellow ship?”

  She looked at him like he was crazy. “Why should they? It’s every man for himself up here. And they have small crews.”

  The pirates were all very cavalier about life and death. Including their own.

  Tiana kissed him. “Go man your ballista, lover. Time to earn your cut.”

  Ramy and Naar were already there when he arrived. Myrrine showed up a moment later. His three partners in crime wore the same thing every day. Like Alex, and most of the crew, they only had one set of clothes. A few crewmembers, mostly women, spent their cut on clothes instead of booze and wenches.

  Captain Tiana put Wraith on an intercept vector high above their intended victim. They remained below the clouds, which were moving westward. Skirting the bottom of the clouds got them caught up to the merchant fleet below quite fast. Alex stood with his ballista crew and leaned over the rails to watch. He didn’t see any indication they’d spotted Wraith.

  And then Tiana shouted down to Nakato. “Drop us!”

  “Drop!” Nakato shouted down into the hold.

  Helene and the other two witches were down there with Nicanor. Alex assumed Helene was doing the spellcasting. He very faintly heard Qinny’s voice answer the first mate. And then the ship dropped.

  “Holy crap!”

  Alex’s feet almost lifted off the deck. The ship dropped that fast. Naar and Myrrine each grabbed him, holding Alex down as they chuckled. He grabbed hold of the rail to steady himself. They were still in what felt like freefall. His stomach rose up into his throat.

  “Brace yourself, barbarian,” Ramy said. “She’s going to stop fast.”

  He looked around deck. Everyone held onto something, but had dropped into crouches. Myrrine and Ramy were also crouching, but Naar didn’t appear all that affected by it. Alex wondered if the Nagu were more avian than reptilian. They were warm-blooded.

  “Ha ha!” Myrrine cried joyfully. “They spotted us! Look at them running around.”

  “Bet they’re wetting themselves right now,” Ramy added with equal glee.

  Tiana shouted just as Wraith’s keel reached the top of the merchantman’s single mast. The ship hit the brakes. In the space of that merchantman’s mast, Wraith came to a stop next to her. That’s when he learned why everyone was crouching. That sudden stop left him sprawled on the deck. At least Alex’s crewmates got a laugh out of it.

  They scrambled back to their station. The wind had pushed Wraith over to the merchantman’s port side, so his ballista had nothing to shoot at. So Alex wasn’t sure why they had to man it. All four of the starboard ballista unleashed their fury, raining deadly cast iron darts on that hapless merchantman.

  “What the hell?” Tiana said, making him glance b
ack at her.

  Instead of looking at their chosen victim, the captain was staring forward. He couldn’t see anything with the forecastle in the way. But then Alex saw her eyes widen.

  “Archers get ready!” Tiana cried. She looked uncertain for a second, which quickly turned to rage. “They have flup-flups!”

  Flup-flups? Why would they need flup-flups? Personally, Alex thought every ship should have a couple for short, quick excursions down to the surface. Wraith had what they called “cockboat.” He thought of it as large dingy.

  “Cock and load,” Ramy commanded.

  Naar and Alex started cranking it back. Tat-tat-tat. Myrrine opened their box of cast iron darts and pulled one out. Once Naar and Alex finished, she placed the dart in the slot and Ramy took hold and swung it around like he was warming up or something. And then the first flup-flup flew past.

  Followed by ten more. Arrows rained down on Wraith’s decks.

  “They have archers!” Nakato shouted. “Loose!”

  Wraith had a dozen archers among the crew. They returned fire, and even managed to kill one of the flup-flup archers. Ramy took aim, pulled the trigger, and missed. Did he even lead that flup-flup? Didn’t look like it.

  Naar and Alex jumped to it. They cranked her back even faster. He felt urgency in the air. The flup-flups surprised the crew. Not good. They didn’t seem to know what to do. And the merchantman was veering away while their attention was on the flup-flups.

  Another wave of flup-flups came at them. “Lead them, Ramy. Don’t aim right at them.”

  “Shut up and let me do my job,” he snapped, and failed to lead them again. Missed by a mile. “Dammit. They’re too fast. Cock it.”

  The other gunners didn’t hit anything either. Wraith’s archers did much better, though the flup-flups avoided their return fire easily enough. Unfortunately, an arrow found Ramy. The pirate looked surprise, touched the arrow sticking out of his chest, and then toppled over dead. Alex gawked down at him a moment, but then Naar moved over into his position.

  Naar sighted in on a flup-flup, and missed. Alex stared incredulously at him. How could anyone be a worse shot than Ramy? But he quickly cranked it back and Myrrine loaded another dart. And Naar missed again, while Myrrine took an arrow in the left calf.

  “Son of a bitch,” Alex cried, cranked the drawstring back, and then shoved Naar aside. “Let me try.”

  Another seven flup-flups were coming at them from below. Myrrine stood by the railing, looking over the side as his sighter. Naar stood glaring at him, shouting something in his Nagu language.

  “Now!” Myrrine shouted and ducked away.

  Alex swung the ballista around, spotted a flup-flup rising up as it flew from bow to stern. He judged his speed, compensated with enough lead… And pulled the trigger. He thought of it as a trigger, but it was a ten-inch wooden lever. Alex’s dart hit the flup-flup’s keel so hard the flying taxi split in half. That dislodged the witch flying it, who fell off, followed by the two halves plummeting to the ground after him.

  A cheer went up on Wraith.

  Naar shut his mouth and helped him crank it back again. Myrrine hobbled over and loaded her. Alex ordered Naar to take over her sighting duties. To his credit, Naar didn’t protest or give him anymore grief.

  “Think like an archer!” he shouted. “Lead the flup-flups before shooting.”

  The next wave hit, and Alex aimed for the witch pilots. Got two in that round. Ballista #2 got one. And their archers managed to take a couple out that time, as well.

  The merchants called off the attack. But it wasn’t all good. The merchant ships had all dropped down close to the river. The lookout in the crow’s nest called a warning.

  “Warships coming from the north!”

  Alex looked upriver. Four sailing ships were flying towards them under full sail. They looked close in size to Wraith. Captain Tiana studied them through her telescope, and then ordered Wraith to lift up and away. Wraith took off southward.

  As they sailed toward the Inner Sea, the world map appeared in Alex’s head. Before them lay the Broken Isles, and beyond that – Tal Keer. A vision of Princess Thaleia that first time he met her in all her near-naked glory flashed before his eyes. Maybe.

  Finally, he thought. We’re going in the right direction.

  Chapter 23

  Wraith sailed as quietly as her namesake in the moonlit night, just a dozen feet above the treetops. A few of the taller conifers brushed her underbelly. She moved slowly, wending down the shallow valley between hilltops. Alex marveled at their ability to do that. Totally mind boggling.

  Tiana kept close watch on the sails, surrounding terrain, and what was ahead of the ship as she called out commands and gave hand signals. Qinny swore Tiana was the best pilot in the sky, and she was giving them all a lesson. He stood on the foredeck with the captain so they could see better. The southern coast lay ahead. Alex could already smell the salt in the air.

  The captain signaled to Nakato, who stood over the main hatch and shouted down her orders to Helene at her lifting station behind the mainmast. Alex had checked out that all important spot once, while Helene’s second, Samara, was working. They had a pentagram carved into the keel right behind the mainmast’s base. The lift witches’ straddled the keel while working their magic, and he discovered they used a lot more blood than a flup-flup. They kept a jug of it at hand. Human blood, taken from crew members several times a day.

  “Hard to port!” Tiana shouted when Wraith cleared the forested hills.

  A wide, white sand beach stretched out to either side. Alex spotted a lagoon at the base of the little valley. Steering sails were furled and unfurled that spun the ship sideways, but momentum kept her moving in the same direction. Sailors scrambled to furl the few sails above propelling the ship. Wraith slowed to almost a stop. At Tiana’s hand signal, Wraith began a slow descent into the middle of that lagoon.

  “Wow, you are as good as everyone says,” Alex said.

  She slanted a pleased look over her shoulder. “Thank you. It’s a gift.”

  Tiana watched as the mates barked orders, stomping around threatening crewmen, and got the ship in order. They moored her in the middle of the lagoon with six mooring lines stretched out to surrounding trees. The ship’s cockboat was dropped into the water, conveying several hunting parties out to get some fresh meat. Other pirates began fishing over the side. A barrel of wine was brought up, with Fynbar, the big, blond barbarian third mate in charge of it. Captain didn’t want anyone getting drunk.

  Myrrine helped the ship’s cook setup a kitchen on shore. Looked like they were going to cook up everything killed and caught as quickly as possible. Myrrine had mentioned once the ship had a Keep All for cooked food so it wouldn’t spoil. Even so, they mostly fed the crew bread and beer. Very little meat. If it went down like the last time they landed to hunt, the pirates would feast on venison and fish for a few days, and they’d stuff the leftovers in the Keep All.

  Not how I would do it, he thought. I’d rather have a little meat for everyone, every day, than just gorge on it once a month or so.

  “Come with me,” Tiana said.

  Tiana hurried down to the main deck. She called Nakato, Yanni, Fynbar, and Helene over. They were Wraith’s first, second, third, and fourth mates. Nicanor tagged along, but kept a few steps back. Then Tiana called the ship’s witch doctor over.

  Qinny sidled up close to Alex and waited.

  “I’m going to send Helene and Qinny into town to find our next target,” Tiana said. She gave him an amused look. “Alex and Nicanor will accompany them.”

  “That means you’re my bodyguard,” Qinny said and winked at Alex. “Don’t take your eyes off my body, or I might punish you.”

  Qinny seemed pleased. Helene looked all business, while Nicanor scowled at Tiana. Alex wondered what his problem could be. It sounded like fun to Alex. As best he understood it, the four of them would visit dockside taverns, share drinks with sailors, and try to find a s
ailor drunk enough to reveal his ship was carrying a valuable cargo.

  That was their opportunity to enjoy some wine, eat some good food, and have a good time all in the name of business. Tiana even gave each of them a small purse of bronze coins to pay for it all.

  Eating for nothing, and getting my drinks for free, Alex thought. A pirate expense account.

  “Helene’s in charge, but don’t enter the city together,” Tiana said. “Alex and Qinny stick together. And Helene you’re stuck with old scowly eyes there.”

  Everyone laughed but Nicanor.

  “He’ll be fine,” Helene said, giving Nicanor a mischievous look. “As long as one of those drunk fools doesn’t cop a feel or anything.”

  “What a shame,” Qinny said. “That’s actually the best part of this job. I love a hands-on kind of man.”

  “Shut up, you stupid –”

  Alex pulled his sword in a flash, pointing it at Nicanor’s throat. “Don’t ever insult my pretend wife.”

  Once again, everyone laughed but Nicanor. No sense of humor. He just glared at Alex, hands clenched.

  “You boys play nice,” Tiana said. “I expect you back before midnight. Now get going.”

  Alex climbed down into the boat first, and then helped Qinny and Helene down. His hand might’ve slipped a little on Helene’s side, sliding up over her right boob. She slanted him an amused look. Fortunately, Nicanor couldn’t see what happened in the dark.

  They swung by the make-shift kitchen and picked up a loaf of bread to split. It was flat, coarse, and chewy. Alex was starting to develop a taste for it. That world’s bread had a lot more flavor than the white bread back in his world.

  The forest proved especially thick and thorny close to shore. He let Nicanor blaze a path, though the pirate refused to use his sword. People on that world had lots of rules about sword use. You could slay people, but don’t you dare use one to hack through underbrush.

  Helene followed Nicanor, with Qinny next in line. Alex brought up the rear. Even in the dark forest, he noticed the witch doctor’s sweet round butt wiggling in front of him. Kind of mesmerizing.