Hopeless Vows

by Rachael Duncan

  He comes back and hands me a glass. “To marrying a stranger and happily ever afters,” he toasts. We clink our champagne flutes together before taking a sip.

  A few moments of silence pass between us before I speak up. “I feel like we didn’t get to talk a lot during the wedding. I meant to ask you what kind of business you own, but we kinda got interrupted by the photographer when we were talking.” I set the glass down on the nightstand and lean back against the headboard.

  “I own a chain of gyms. Ever heard of Fit Now?” I nod my head. “Well I own them and franchise them out. My dad started up this small gym. It wasn’t anything impressive. There weren’t fancy machines and tanning beds with rows of protein shakes to choose from. It was gritty and raw, but motivating. People that went there came to work out without all the frills. He kept it basic and believed in the simplicity of it. When I turned eighteen, I took that idea and expanded it. My gyms have more machinery to appeal to women who are intimidated by big weights, but it’s pretty basic. And people seem to like it since I’ve grown it to over thirty locations in twelve years.”

  Hearing his dedication and determination is inspiring and shows me he’s not afraid to put in the work and effort to ensure something succeeds. “Must be nice to be left something by your family and watch it succeed like it has.” I give him a tight smile.

  “Yeah, I just hope my old man is proud.” He looks down at his hands and I can see the sadness wash over him. Guilt hits me in the gut so hard it almost knocks the wind out of me. I’m not sure how to respond. “I’d hate to hit on a touchy subject, but I noticed you didn’t have many family or friends here today. Why is that?” There’s no judgment when I look into his chocolate orbs, just curiosity.

  “I have no family. They died when I was younger.” I shrug like it’s no big deal, like telling someone your family is dead happens to everyone all the time.

  “I’m so sorry.” What I don’t see in his reaction shocks me. I expected to see pity, but there’s nothing but understanding. Of course, he’d know better than anyone. “Maybe that’s another reason the experts put us together. My parents died when I was younger and I grew up with my uncle, so I know how you feel.”

  Having enough of the heavy talking, I jump up off the bed. “I’m going to get out of this dress and get comfortable.” I don’t wait for a response as I retreat to the bathroom.

  That was too much, too fast. I thought I’d be able to hold off all talk about family for at least a day, but no. Why? Because the universe clearly hates me. This is only day one and I still have fifty-five more to go. I don’t know if I’m going to make it. My secrets are eating me alive and I don’t think I’ll be able to contain them before they dig their way out of my disgusting body and expose me for the fraud I am.

  Once I’m out of the shower, I throw on a pair of yoga pants and an oversized shirt. My reflection is not what I would have imagined I’d see on my wedding night. Most couples are chomping at the bit to consummate their marriage. Then again, we’re not most couples. With a shrug, I walk out to see Austin in nothing but some sweatpants. This is obviously the first time I’ve seen his bare chest, and the sight has me salivating. He has a sleeve of tattoos that run the length of his right arm, forming an intricate pattern up and around his broad shoulder. A smooth, defined chest leads down to a flat set of six-pack abs. Holy shit, he’s mouthwatering. Just pure perfection.

  Thank you, experts, for delivering me an Adonis. I quickly shake the thought from my head. No, I can’t have these kinds of thoughts while keeping my distance.

  “Like what you see, Mrs. James?” he asks with a cocky grin, effectively breaking me from my trance.

  “Actually, I was just thinking about how you should put some clothes on. No one wants to see all that.” I think I’d almost be convincing if it weren’t for my damn cheeks heating in embarrassment.

  “I’d call bullshit on that,” he says with a chuckle.

  “What makes you say that?” I challenge, standing on my side of the bed with my hands on my hips.

  “I can read people pretty well.”

  God, I hope not.

  I don’t respond to his last comment and slide into bed.

  “Okay, we’re done for today,” one of the cameramen say to us. “We’ll be here at seven in the morning, and remember anything you guys want to say or discuss has to wait until we’re here. We want first reactions to everything so we get authentic footage, okay?”

  We both nod and they leave.

  Lying in silence, both of us looking at the ceiling is awkward to say the least. Are we not supposed to talk at all without the cameras present? This could be a lot harder than I thought it’d be.

  “So . . . ,” he trails off.

  “So.”

  He rolls over on his side and faces me. “I was thinking.” I mimic his movement and turn to him. “The crew will be back bright and early in the morning, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What if we get up early every day and talk a little before they get here? That way there’s no pressure of it being filmed and it’s really just you and me.”

  “But won’t that put us in breach of contract or something?”

  “Fuck the contract. How would they know anyway?” He does have a point. “Look, we only have eight weeks together before we make the decision to stay together or go our separate ways. Let’s make the most of it. This will give us a real chance to get to know each other.” The hope in his eyes is almost too much. I know my eyes mirrored his at the beginning of all this. Then I walked down the aisle and everything went spinning out of control. But if I’m going to make him and everyone else believe I’m really trying, what other choice do I have?

  “Sure, I like that idea.”

  “Great.” He leans forward and kisses me on the nose. It’s such an innocent and sweet gesture, but it does weird things to my insides.

  Damn him.

  “Goodnight, Jillian.”

  “Goodnight, Austin.”

  With lights out, I fall into a deep sleep where karma wasn’t such a bitch and fate didn’t hate me.

  I’M UP WAY earlier than I’d like to be, especially with the eventful day I had yesterday. I slept pretty sound, which is surprising considering I was in bed with a stranger all night. Lying here in the quiet, one thought keeps playing over in my head.

  Holy shit, I really went through with this.

  Rolling over slowly, I look at Austin. He’s still asleep, so I take the opportunity to study him. He really is heartbreakingly gorgeous. It makes me wonder why he would do this experiment. I’m sure he’s never had any issues finding a woman to keep him company.

  He’s on his side with one arm under his pillow, and the other draped across his body, showcasing his firm bicep. My eyes travel down slowly, taking in each line, each defined piece of muscle until I get to the blanket that rests low at his hips. I dig my fingers into the sheets to keep from reaching out and touching him.

  “Like what you see?” he asks, his voice gruff from sleep, startling me. It may be the sexiest sound I’ve ever heard in my life.

  “Since we’re married, I figured I’d check out the goods.” To be honest, I’m mortified I just got caught ogling him, but I’m hoping I played it off well enough.

  Without opening his eyes, he rolls over onto his back and puts his hands behind his head. The lean muscles of his abs stretch, proving that not an ounce of fat lives on his body. “Let me give you a better view,” he says smugly.

  I swat his chest and roll my eyes. “I should’ve told the experts I like modesty in a man.”

  Before I can even register what’s happening, he’s on top of me with my hands pinned beside my head. His entire frame is pressed firmly against mine and every cell within me is hyperaware of his presence. “Modesty, huh?” he whispers low in my ear. My body heats from head to toe as his hot breath hits my skin. He leans back slightly and looks into my eyes. My chest rises and falls at an increased speed waiting for him to do
or say something. Anything. “I call bullshit. In fact, I think you like that I’m cocky.”

  I feel the tips of my ears turning bright red because he’s right. I do like his cockiness. With the way his morning erection is pressing into me, I mean that figuratively and literally. He touches my cheek with the back of his hand, releasing one of my wrists, but I don’t dare move it. The sexual tension bouncing off of us is enough to paralyze me in my spot. “No need to be embarrassed. I’m not.”

  My tongue darts out to wet my lips. I’ve lost all ability to talk, to think. His eyes darken as they travel down to my mouth before coming back up to meet mine. Nothing is happening, but it’s probably one of the most intense moments of my life. The air is thick and almost suffocating. A constant buzz runs through my body.

  “You are so beautiful,” he whispers. His words come out with such reverence, such honesty, that with the simple statement, I feel more beautiful in this moment than I have in my entire life.

  Before I can respond, the moment is broken by a loud knock on the door. “I’ll get it,” he says with a sigh. I swallow hard and nod, still unable to find my voice. All I know is I have an ache between my legs that needs satisfying, and an intruder on the other side of the door who prevented it from happening. I’m definitely not a happy camper right now.

  Climbing off the bed, he walks toward the door. I can’t help staring at his broad back and tight ass. I could be clawing that back and grabbing at that ass right now. Geez, get a grip, Jillian. After chastising myself, I sit up and get it together.

  “Our guests have arrived,” he says sarcastically. Glancing back at him, I see he’s referring to the camera crew. For a few minutes, it was easy to forget we are on a reality TV show that will be filming us constantly.

  “We’ll start filming now, and the producer will be in shortly to do one-on-one interviews.” He doesn’t wait for a response as he turns and says something to the rest of the team.

  “Do you drink coffee?” I ask Austin.

  “Is a pig’s ass made of pork?” The seriousness of his face makes me laugh.

  “I’ll take that as a yes,” I say through my laughter. “You’re lucky, or I would’ve requested an annulment ASAP.”

  “Why? Because I didn’t like coffee?”

  “Yeah, people who don’t like coffee can’t be trusted. It’s unnatural.” Getting up to make us a pot, his deep chuckle hits me, causing me to smile in return.

  As I’m hitting the start button, there’s another knock on the door. Austin and I both look at each other questioningly. “I wonder who it is this time,” he says as he walks back toward the door. A wall blocks my view, so I can’t see who’s there. All I hear is Austin say thank you before the door closes again.

  Walking past me and to the small breakfast table that’s off to the side, he sets down a tray. On it is a small vase with two red roses, a couple bowls of fruit, two glasses of orange juice, and an envelope that’s perched in between. I bring over both of our coffees and grab some creamer before sitting down in front of Austin.

  I catch him watching me dump creamer in my mug with a grin on his face. “What?” I ask with furrowed eyebrows.

  “Like a little coffee with your creamer, eh?”

  “Real funny, but I’d save your jokes until I’ve had at least one cup in my system.”

  He holds his hands up in surrender. “Warning received.” Picking up the envelope, he holds it out to me. “Do you want to do the honors?”

  “Sure.” I take it from his hand. Mr. and Mrs. James is scrolled across it in gold filigree. Opening it up, I pull the card out and read it.

  “Austin and Jillian, Congratulations on being newlyweds. To celebrate and get to know one another, you will be going on a two week long, all-expense paid trip to Bora Bora. You leave later this afternoon, so pack your bags and head to the airport.”

  My head snaps up to meet Austin’s surprised face. I’m sure my expression matches his. I squeal in excitement. I can’t help it. I’m going to Bora Bora!

  “Holy shit. Bora Bora? That’s so fucking awesome!” Austin says after I finish freaking out. His face is lit up and I’m so glad he’s just as thrilled as I am. It’s nice to know he’s enthusiastic about having fun and living life.

  “Oh God, we need to get ready!” I stand up quickly and run to my suitcase that was waiting for me when we arrived last night. We knew all along we would be going on some type of honeymoon for two weeks and were told to have bags prepared. I had no idea they’d send us somewhere so luxurious though.

  The flight is twenty hours long.

  Twenty.

  I really hate flying anyway, but that’s pretty much a solid day of being on an airborne death trap. Fortunately, Austin has been great. It’s weird how he calms me. I’ve flown with my best friend before and was a basket case the entire time. Once Austin saw how anxious I was before takeoff, he held my hand and everything was better. He didn’t say anything, didn’t tell me to relax, he was just there. It’s one more thing he does that’s chipping away at my armor, my ability to keep him at a distance.

  “Good morning, sleepyhead,” I say when Austin stretches beside me. He’s been passed out for a couple hours, so I’ve spent my time reading on my kindle, holding his hand the whole time.

  “What time is it?” he asks in his sexy, sleepy voice.

  “I don’t know. With the time changes I quit trying to keep up. It’s dark outside though. So wherever we are, it’s late. Are you hungry? I snagged some extra snacks from the flight attendant to hold us over until they serve the next meal while you were over here snoring. It was actually kind of embarrassing. People kept looking over annoyed because you were so loud.”

  “Oh really?” He looks at me from the corner of his eye with that playful grin of his.

  “No, not really, but that’s what you get for teasing me about snoring last night.”

  “Relax, you don’t snore.” He reaches over onto my tray and grabs some peanuts. “But you do drool.”

  Austin

  “WHAT ARE YOU most excited to do while on your honeymoon?” the producer asks. I really hate this part of the whole experiment. We’re forced to do one-on-one interviews frequently, and other than having cameras in my face all the time, it’s the thing I dread the most. They pulled each of us aside before we had a chance to sit down once we got to Bora Bora. I’m exhausted from the long flight, and all I want to do is relax and enjoy this amazing place with Jillian.

  “To see my wife in a bikini. I mean, you’ve seen her right?” I half joke. Although, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to seeing her in a little less clothing. The producer barely grins, so I’m guessing she wants more, so I continue. “I’m looking forward to spending some quality time with Jillian. I want to get to know her more and start laying the foundation to our relationship.”

  “You know I have to ask, did you guys consummate your marriage? What happened when the cameras left last night?”

  I should’ve expected her to ask. After all, it is an integral part of a relationship and it’s what every couple does on their wedding night. Still, for some reason the question pisses me off. “None of your business.”

  “Actually, it is. And if you can’t answer our questions honestly and openly, then we’ll have to install surveillance to make sure we capture everything.” Is she fucking kidding me right now? There’s no way in hell I’m letting that happen. “So I’ll ask again, did you and Jillian have sex on your wedding night?”

  My jaw grinds before I cool my features and answer. “Actually, we did not have sex last night. This isn’t a one-night stand and I don’t want us to rush into it. I want it to be perfect.” I shrug.

  “How are you guys getting along so far? Do you think your personalities mesh?”

  I nod. “Yeah, I think we get along great. She’s a little quiet and seems reluctant to open up. I’m not sure if she’s just nervous, or shy, or what, but I sense she’s holding back a little. I just hope with so
me time I can get her to loosen up. Otherwise, everything is good. She gets my sense of humor and jokes with me. Then again, it’s a little early to tell and I haven’t gotten to talk to her a lot because we’re doing things like this.” I can’t help myself. I have to point out I really hate doing this.

  “Okay, we’re done for now. We’ll let you guys get to it and enjoy your honeymoon.”

  I leave without saying anything further and go in search of my wife. I find her sitting in one of the chairs on the back balcony. The room is incredible. It looks like a tiki hut that sits in the water on stilts. A dock leads each room back to the shore. The inside is completely open where only the toilet is located behind a closed door. But the coolest thing is the glass floor at the end of the bed letting you see the ocean below the room.

  “Hey, gorgeous.” I lean down and kiss her on the cheek.

  “Hey, handsome.”

  I gently nudge her to sit up so I can sit in the lounge chair behind her. She complies and lays against my chest when I get situated. “It’s nice, isn’t it?” I ask low in her ear and wrap my arms around her. She stills for a moment, then relaxes into my hold.

  “It looks like a postcard.” She sounds in awe, but I am too. I’ve never seen water this crystal clear.

  “So, what do you want to do tonight, Mrs. James?”

  “I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted after traveling. What do you think about going out to dinner and coming back and relaxing?” She turns her head and looks up at me, waiting for my response.

  “I can do you one better. How about we order room service and stay in? Then we don’t even have to change and get ready.”

  She smiles. “That sounds perfect.”

  There’s a couch facing a large window with a breathtaking view of the ocean. I move from the lounge chair and sit on it before motioning for her to come sit with me. When she does, I wrap my arm around her and pull her close. Even after being on a plane for a day, she still smells amazing. Her warm vanilla scent is becoming my new favorite smell.