Bittersweet

by Jannine Gallant

  Her hand flew to her mouth. “Was it Jack Craven?”

  “I don’t know, but I want you and Fay to be extra careful, especially if strangers show up at your door.” He turned to Lottie. “You shouldn’t ride around the countryside by yourself. There’s no point in tempting fate.”

  “I won’t,” she said, her eyes wide.

  Tess left the table and stood with her back to the room, looking out the window across miles of endless prairie. Her stomach rolled. “I know it was Craven. His gang is the only one causing trouble around here.”

  Nathan touched her rigid shoulders. “It could have been renegade Indians.”

  She spun, her fists clenched at her side. “Over and over he gets away with his crimes. Why doesn’t someone stop him?”

  “It’s not Nathan’s fault,” Lottie said, abandoning her bowl. “Why are you yelling at him?”

  She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm her jumping nerves. She wanted to lash out against the injustice of it, scream and kick and shout. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to raise my voice. Of course I don’t blame you, Nathan.”

  “You’re frustrated. I am, too.”

  Emily whimpered, and she gently touched her soft hair. “Sorry, little one. Mama’s not angry.” Returning to her chair, she picked up her spoon. Her hand shook so badly she spilled the broth.

  “Relax, Tess.” Nathan’s voice was compassionate but firm. “Getting upset isn’t helping you or Emily.”

  “I know.” She picked up the spoon again. This time her hand was steadier.

  “Maybe we should go,” Lottie suggested.

  Tess nodded, needing to be alone. “I’m fine, really. I’ll let you give me another lesson soon. I promise.”

  Nathan looked torn but finally agreed. “I’ll hold you to it.” He followed Lottie to the door and paused. “Get some rest, Tess. You work too hard.”

  Fay frowned at her niece. “I’m constantly telling her the same thing, but she won’t listen.”

  She counted to ten beneath her breath, wishing they would leave her alone. “I’ll take a nap this afternoon if it will make everyone happy. Have a nice drive back to town.”

  “We will,” Lottie called. She took Nathan’s arm and headed across the yard. Tess shut the kitchen door and locked it.

  She didn’t rest while Emily napped. She cleaned the house, furiously beating rugs while Fay looked on, her lips puckered with worry. Afterward, she went to her room and took Rory’s pistol off the top shelf of the wardrobe. She stared at it a long time before shaking bullets from a pouch and loading it.

  “Where are you going with that?” Fay nodded at the pistol.

  “I’m going to learn to shoot straight if it takes all afternoon. Will you listen for Emily? She’s still sleeping.”

  “Of course I will. Please be careful.”

  Tess nodded and headed out to the corral where the target cans were still lined up. She raised the gun and fired.

  * * * *

  From the south pasture, Daniel heard shots. He dropped the sledgehammer he’d used to drive in fence posts and ran, sprinting across the field. Nightmare images of Tess lying in a pool of blood faded when he saw her standing in the corral, Rory’s pistol raised in her hand. His pounding heart slowed.

  Her concentration was so fierce she didn’t notice him. He stayed back, watching her from a distance. She hit the first can. Finally she hit a second and eventually a third. Smiling, Daniel went back to work.

  Chapter 11

  Tess pushed damp strands of hair off her forehead and glanced over at Emily. Her daughter sat in the dirt between the rows of vegetables, digging in the loose soil. She looked up and smiled. Tess tossed her a bean to play with and went back to work.

  It was another scorching day. By the time she reached the end of the row, her dress was soaked with sweat and sticking to her back. She pushed the heavy basket of beans to the second row and paused a moment to stretch. Something moved in the cornfield. Dry leaves rustled, and a moment later Daniel emerged. He pulled an ear of corn off the stalk, examined it, and tossed it to the ground. Tess frowned. What was wrong with the corn?

  “Watch Emily.” She patted Shadow’s head. The dog sighed and settled down next to a tomato plant.

  Emily glanced up briefly before returning her attention to the pile of dirt she was sifting through her fingers. Tess hurried across the yard toward the cornfield.

  Daniel turned at her approach. His eyes were clouded with worry.

  “Is something wrong with the corn?”

  “It’s dying in this heat. I can’t remember the last time we had such a dry summer.”

  Her voice rose as panic gripped her. “Is the whole crop dead?” She stared down at the ear he held. The kernels were hard blisters on the cob.

  “No, only about a quarter of it. This is the worst section.”

  “What are we going to do?” Fear snaked down her spine. “How will we live without a corn crop?”

  “Don’t worry, Tess.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and gave them a squeeze. The gesture comforted her. “Maybe it will rain in time to save some of the corn.”

  “Is there any way to water the fields? Can’t we use the creek?”

  “I’ve been thinking about it, but the water is so far below the banks there’s no way to divert it.”

  “We could water by hand,” she said, “using buckets and tubs.”

  “That would take forever.” He wiped sweat out of his eyes before resettling his hat. “I may try digging shallow trenches between the rows, at least in the fields closest to the creek. Those are the plants in the best shape. If I dumped water at the top of the row, the down slope would carry it the length of the field.”

  “It’s worth a try. I could help.”

  “You have Emily to watch. Don’t worry about it, Tess. It’s my problem.”

  She touched his arm. “It’s our problem, and I want to help. Nothing makes Emily happier than playing in the dirt. She’ll be as content in the cornfield as she is in the garden.”

  “Digging trenches is man’s work. It would be too hard on you. I won’t let you take on that kind of burden.”

  “Hard work won’t hurt me.” She smiled and flexed her muscles. “I’m as strong as an ox, and I won’t take no for an answer.”

  His smile was rueful. “You don’t leave me much choice. We’ll give it a try. Time is important if we’re to save any of the corn, and I could use the help.”

  The corn won’t die for lack of effort on my part. “I’ll get Emily and be right back.”

  “It’s almost noon. Why don’t you eat, and we’ll start after dinner.”

  “Let me fix you something.”

  He shook his head. “Thank you, but I have to go home, anyway. I need to get my shovel and hoe and all the buckets I can find. If you’ll gather yours together, I’ll stop by and take them down to the creek on my way back. You’ll have your hands full with Emily.”

  She nodded. “I’ll see you shortly.”

  Tess hurried home and picked up the basket of beans. She lugged it into the kitchen and went back to the garden for Emily. She scooped her up out of the dirt and gave her a kiss.

  “We’re going to help Daniel this afternoon,” she said, her heart light despite the dire state of their crop. “You get to take a nap in the cornfield.”

  “Don’t be silly,” Fay said after Tess explained their plan. “If you’re determined to help Daniel, I’ll watch Emily. She can play in the kitchen while I can beans.”

  “Are you sure you want to bother with her?”

  “She won’t be a bother. Eat your dinner. Emily and I will get along just fine.”

  They finished their meal of cottage cheese and tomatoes, and Tess was gathering her buckets when Daniel knocked on the kitchen door. “All set?” he called.

  “Yes, come in. Aunt Fay is going to watch Emily for me.”

  He pushed open the screen door, smiled at Fay, and picked up a handful of buc
kets. “Can I take anything else?”

  “No, I’ll manage the rest.”

  Tess stopped by the garden to grab her hoe and followed him into the cornfield. A hint of breeze rustled the dry stalks over her head. Beneath her feet the sun-baked earth cracked and crumbled.

  “I’ll loosen the dirt with a shovel, and you can follow behind with the hoe, making a trench. Are you sure about this, Tess?”

  “Positive. It’s no different than digging in my garden.”

  “All right, then. Let’s get started.”

  They worked steadily for an hour before she took a break to fill the water jug from the creek. When she returned, Daniel had finished up the row.

  He tipped back the jug. She watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down in his throat as he drank. Sweat trickled down the side of his face, and he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Longing curled deep within her. She swallowed and looked away.

  They worked in silence, concentrating on the job at hand. When they spoke, the topics were safe ones. They discussed Emily’s latest attempts to walk and speculated on the success of their current project. Neither mentioned Nathan or Lottie, though Tess longed to ask how he felt about her sister. After a pause in the conversation, he told her he had seen her shooting.

  “You looked awfully determined.”

  “I was. I didn’t go inside until I hit all six cans.”

  “Why, Tess?” He reached down and tossed a rock out of his path. His blue eyes sparkled in the bright sunlight. “I thought you didn’t care about shooting. Are you jealous of Lottie’s skill?”

  Tess scowled and viciously hacked the earth with her hoe. “Nathan told us a woman was killed not far from here. It happened while her husband was out in the fields. Jack Craven did it.”

  He dropped his shovel and turned to face her. “When did this happen?”

  “Recently. That’s why Nathan was so insistent on the shooting lesson.”

  “Craven was responsible?”

  Tess hunched one shoulder. “It must have been him. Who else would do something like that?”

  Strain showed in the tight line of his mouth. “Are you keeping a gun handy?”

  She nodded. “We have Shadow. He would never let anyone touch us.”

  “Craven wouldn’t hesitate to shoot a dog,” Daniel said grimly. “Maybe I should stay with you for a while.”

  “The woman was killed in broad daylight. Anyway, I’m not afraid.” Anger filled her, hard and hot. “I know what Craven looks like. If I see him, I won’t hesitate to shoot.”

  “Are you that confident in your aim?”

  She nodded. “I won’t miss.”

  They went back to work, finishing the trenches in the field nearest the creek. It took two hours to haul enough water up the bank to fill them.

  “It’s working,” Tess said, her heart beating fast as she watched the water seep into the earth between the rows of plants.

  “Let’s hope we’re not too late. All we can do now is wait and pray for rain.”

  They spent the next two days working in the fields, digging trenches and hauling water. On Saturday evening, they poured the last buckets before collapsing near Emily to rest. Fay had gone for a drive with Doc Fredericks, and Tess brought the baby to the field with her.

  She flopped over on her back and closed her eyes, utterly exhausted. Her arms ached, and her back felt as if it was permanently bowed. She stretched and groaned as a hundred little pains made their presence felt. She welcomed the discomfort. Her efforts had helped Daniel.

  “At least we have church tomorrow before we start digging,” she said.

  He rolled onto his side, picked up a brittle corn leaf, and crumbled it. “Take the whole day off.”

  “I don’t mind. I really would like to go to church, but I can work in the afternoon.”

  “There’s no point.”

  She propped herself up on one elbow. “What do you mean?”

  “I checked the rest of the fields early this morning. That corn is beyond saving.”

  “But we’ve only finished half the crop.” Tears welled in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. Despair overwhelmed her, for the lost crop and the man she couldn’t have.

  He scooted closer and pulled her head onto his lap. “Don’t cry, Tess. If you hadn’t helped, we would have lost a lot more than half.”

  “What about the fields we’ve watered?”

  “That corn is holding on. The creek is getting so low we won’t be able to take much more water from it.”

  Her heart sank. “If it doesn’t rain, the corn will still die.”

  “I’m afraid so.”

  She sighed. “We did our best.”

  Daniel sat cross-legged with her head in his lap. He stroked the hair off her brow. The calloused pads of his fingers chaffed her skin. She shivered, desire stirring. When a weight landed on her stomach she opened her eyes.

  Emily had abandoned the corncob she was playing with and crawled over to sit with them. She planted her arms on her mother’s stomach and leaned against her. Tess smiled and touched her cheek.

  “Poor Emily. Have we been ignoring you?”

  Daniel smiled. “She doesn’t seem to mind.”

  “No, she’s very independent.”

  “That’s a good thing, isn’t it?”

  Tess nodded, her head moving in his lap. He grunted and shifted position.

  “I could lie here forever.” She closed her eyes and imagined they were a real family, sharing their day working side by side. They would go home and eat supper then together put Emily to bed. In their room he would take her in his arms and kiss the side of her neck, his mouth hot and demanding. He would unbutton her dress and cup her breasts in his palms, plucking at her nipples. Her blood heated.

  Daniel made a strangled noise. He shifted her head to the ground and stood up.

  She opened her eyes and looked up at him. His scowl was fierce.

  “What’s wrong?” She sat up and pulled Emily onto her lap.

  “Nothing.” He bent to gather the pails.

  “Why the frown?”

  “It’s nothing, all right!”

  “Well, excuse me for being concerned!” Anger simmered. Her foolish fantasies crumbled into dust. After their closeness over the last few days, she had hoped his attitude would change. Obviously it hadn’t.

  Daniel sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m tired and on edge. I haven’t had much sleep lately.”

  She didn’t answer. She picked up Emily’s blanket and draped it over her arm. Tears swam in her eyes, blinding her.

  “I said I’m sorry.”

  “Fine. I’m going home.” Her voice was muffled against Emily.

  He touched her arm. When she resisted, he used two hands to swing her around. “Are you crying?”

  “No. Let go of me.”

  “I will not.” He tipped back her head. Two fat tears rolled down her cheeks. He swore and pulled her into his arms, sandwiching Emily between them.

  “I’m sorry, Tess. Don’t cry.”

  “It’s not that,” she said, the tears coming faster. “It’s the corn and all the work.” With her free hand, she wiped her eyes. “I’m tired, too.”

  “I know you are. You’ve been unbelievable. I’ve never seen anyone work harder.”

  She leaned against him. Daniel was sturdy and dependable, always available when she needed him. But he was also stubborn and pigheaded. She pulled away.

  “I’m sorry I fell apart. I feel better now.”

  “Are you sure?”

  She nodded. “I need something to eat and a good night’s sleep.”

  He studied her a minute longer before grabbing the shovels and hoes. With his hands full, he followed her back to the house and dropped her pails on the porch.

  “Thank you, Daniel. I suppose I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Can I give you a ride to church?”

  “That would be fine. Goodnight.”

  Tess hurried into the house, leav
ing him alone in the yard. She stood in the middle of the kitchen, staring blankly at the wall. When Emily squirmed, she set her on the floor. She felt for a chair and dropped into it.

  It’s not going to happen. Daniel isn’t going to change his mind. The knowledge crushed her spirit.

  * * * *

  Tess was ready when Daniel knocked on the kitchen door the next morning. Carrying Emily, she crossed the yard to the wagon and accepted a hand up onto the seat.

  “You look well rested,” he said.

  “I slept for nine straight hours. I would still be sleeping if Emily hadn’t demanded my attention.”

  “Is Fay coming with us?”

  “No, Doc picked her up. I think he’ll ask her to marry him soon.”

  “How do you feel about that?”

  “I’m happy for her of course, but Emily and I will miss her.” Worry about the future made her stomach ache. If Fay left the farm, she was certain her parents would insist she move to town.

  Daniel touched Emily’s cheek. She grabbed his finger and stuck it in her mouth.

  “My, her teeth are sharp. How many does she have?”

  “Plenty. Did she bite you? I’m sorry.” Tess pried Emily’s mouth open.

  “It didn’t hurt much.”

  “Imagine how it feels when she bites me—” She stopped speaking, her cheeks heating with embarrassment.

  “You mean when she’s nursing? Ouch!”

  “Sorry. Forget I said that. I don’t know why I did.”

  “Because we’re comfortable together.”

  “Yes, we are, for all the good it does,” she said bitterly.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Nothing. How did the corn look this morning? I’m sure you checked it.”

  “About the same as it did last night. I’m afraid it’s going to be another scorching day.”

  They didn’t talk much on the drive into town. When they reached the church, she was surprised to see Nathan waiting outside with his team tied on the shady side of the building.

  “Why didn’t you just walk over?” she asked as he helped her down from the wagon seat.

  “I hope you’ll take a ride with me after services. I brought a picnic.”