Bunches

by Jill Valley

  “I shake my head. “Nope, he’s back in Portland with my roommate. She promised to feed him all weekend.”

  “Yeah, well, if she doesn’t I’m sure he won’t starve,” says Ellis as he grabs my suitcase. I already dropped Lizzy off at her place.

  “What will he do?” I ask.

  “Murder some mice,” says Ellis.

  “Charming,” I mutter. “Just charming. Now move. I have to get ready for tonight.”

  “Since when do you take time to get ready for anything?” Ellis asks, his eyebrows raised.

  “Oh, believe me, Ellis, times have changed,” I say with a chuckle, just to annoy him. He grins, but my mom looks very worried.

  “I don’t like the sound of that at all,” she says. “Not one bit.”

  The dinner is at the Rockwells’ house. They live in the burbs in this massive mansion a couple of miles from my own home. Amelia’s wedding will be at the house too; it would be hard to find a nicer place for it.

  Ellis is driving, us there, and we’re all in different moods about it. Bottom line for me, I’m positive I couldn’t have done this without Ellis and Lizzy. As for Lizzy, we picked her up on the way, and she’s been ranting about Steven ever since.

  “He texted me,” she says. “Right when I got home. He wants to know if I’m going tonight. Well,” she sighs gustily, “I told him it’s none of his business. I mean, seriously, the nerve.”

  “He’s bringing her,” says Ellis. He’s driving, and he watches Lizzy closely in the mirror. My friend looks momentarily stricken, but she recovers quickly, tossing her flowing blond locks over her shoulder.

  “Whatever,” she says. “I don’t care.”

  “Ten pizzas later says differently,” I say. “It’s okay to care,” I continue, “it means you put yourself out there and did something scary and exciting and you learned from it.”

  “Yeah, okay, Freud,” says Lizzy.

  “Yeah, seriously, when did you become a relationship doctor? Does this have something to do with that bartender?”

  I glare at my brother as Lizzy makes a gleeful cawing noise in the back.

  “You have no idea,” she says mischievously. “Thank you, Ellis. I knew I could rely on you to get my mind off of . . . what’s his name again?”

  I grin at my friend, but all jokes disappear when we see the Rockwells’ house.

  Now it’s real.

  The mansion is large and imposing, made of old stone. Trees, graceful under the weight of deep summer green, line the drive and surround the house, commanding privacy.

  “Sheesh,” says Lizzy. “Could the woman have planted any more flowers?”

  “This is her daughter’s wedding,” I argue. “The only kid she has left.” Her mother never thought I belonged here. My teenage self was oblivious to the differences between me and my first boyfriend, but now I’m not.

  “Hey.” Ellis pokes me in the ribs and I grab his finger. “Don’t put any more on yourself. Have fun tonight. See old friends. That’s what he would have wanted.”

  “I know. I think I can,” I say, trying to reassure myself even as I reassure my brother. Ellis gives me a surprised look for just a second, then turns his head back to the road.

  We park a long way from the house, because there are already at least a hundred cars there. The Rockwells encouraged us to come in pairs.

  “There was a time when Steven was going to come with us,” Lizzy sniffs with disdain.

  The three of us walk up to the house.

  “You both look gorgeous, by the way,” says my brother.

  Lizzy does look stunning. For the dinner she’s chosen a black sequined dress that shows off her shoulders and long legs. She’s wearing black heels and carrying a black clutch.

  “You already told me that,” I sigh at Ellis.

  “It’s worth repeating,” he says. He offers each of us an arm. “Now, please continue making me the luckiest guy in the room tonight.”

  “I’m pretty sure that honor goes to me,” says an incredibly handsome guy at the door.

  He has light brown hair and deep set blue eyes. He gives us a megawatt smile.

  “Hey, James,” says Ellis, grinning.

  “Is that the name of the groom?” Lizzy whispers, leaning into my shoulder.

  “Uh huh,” I say, eyeing James Gregory. He was a few years ahead of us in school; he’s even a few years older than Amelia. I realize that Ellis must have met James already through his younger brother Kevin.

  “How’s it going?” James asks, clapping Ellis on the back. “And who are these lovely ladies you’re with?” I notice that his eyes twitch a bit as he looks at me. He must know who Ellis is, so it’s not hard to figure out who I might be.

  A knot twists in my stomach. I wish JJ were here. Well, with me. The knot in my stomach tightens even more when I realize I’ll see him tonight gor the first time since he dumped me. What will I do? How will that go? Will he say hi first? Will he know that butterflies are having a war in my stomach at the mere sight of him?

  It’s unreasonably warm for late summer, and the night air hugs around us like a blanket. I find myself looking around, wrapped in memories as much as in the party.

  Lizzy nudges me in the ribs, hard.

  I glare at her, then James is holding out his hand and I tentatively shake it. He looks me right in the eyes and says, “It’s nice to meet you. Really nice.”

  His hand is large and warm. I guess he thinks that in another life we might have been brother- and sister-in-law.

  In another life.

  Someone else’s. Or no one’s.

  “You too,” I say quietly. He moves on to meet Lizzy.

  “Steven’s inside. He’s your boyfriend, right?” James asks as they shake hands.

  “I couldn’t begin to care,” Lizzy sniffs and brushes past the groom. Ellis gives James a sympathetic look.

  “Was it something I said?” James asks.

  “Don’t mind her,” says Ellis. “Bad breakup.”

  “Ah, I thought the girl he brought with him was his sister,” says James. “That explains a lot.”

  “Kevin’s inside somewhere,” James says to my brother. “Feel free to find him. I’ve been told we’re eating in about an hour.”

  There are now several people lined up behind us waiting to talk to the groom. Some are calling out greetings, so we move inside.

  The house is just how I remember it. Mrs. Rockwell was an interior decorator before she married Amelia’s father and didn’t have to work, but her impeccable taste is still evident in her home.

  It’s modern with lots of neutral colors and beige tones. Mrs. Rockwell a big fan of find old furniture second hand and giving it a new life. The wall fixtures are all things she has found at flea markets, and the furniture is all stuff that either her family built in the wood shop they have out back - oh yes, there’s a wood shop - or she found at yard sales and refinished. There are family portraits in gilded frames on the walls, and the ceilings are high. I look up. The same old beams of dark wood hang overhead.

  Absolutely nothing has changed.

  And everywhere I look there are pictures of Michael.

  Ellis squeezes my hand.

  “Are you okay?” he whispers. Guests are milling around, most of whom I don’t recognize, but some faces are familiar. I get only a handful of sympathetic looks. Most of them probably don’t remember me. Good.

  “I’m fine,” I whisper back. It surprises me how fine I am. JJ has re-awakened something inside me that tells me it’s okay to live, and here I am at Michael’s house breathing on my own.

  We make our way into the large living room, where most of the people are milling around.

  The spread of food is incredible. There’s also a bar off to one side.

  “Want anything?” Ellis asks.

  “I’m too nervous to eat,” I say, pressing my hand to my stomach. I tried to get some juice down before we left, but my stomach did an angry tap dance and I stopped trying.
>
  “Well, that makes one of us,” he says, and he dashes to the nearest table, which is piled high with smelly cheeses.

  “You’ve become such a snob,” I say, shaking my head in mock sadness.

  “Can I get you a drink?”

  The voice behind me is achingly familiar. It’s male, and it awakens things inside me that I can’t have awakened right now . . . because he doesn’t want them.

  I shake my head. My chest aches as I look at JJ. He looks gorgeous. I want to tell him that it’s not the same, drinking without a certain someone mixing my drinks, but I don’t.

  He takes a step forward. He looks incredibly good. I lick my lips. Something ignites deep in his eyes.

  “Have you seen Amelia yet?” he asks. His voice is rough, and those gray eyes look have become a dark bluish black in the low lighting of the Rockwells’ house.

  I shake my head again. I’ll just say no to absolutely every question he asks me tonight. Solid game plan.

  “Is Sylvan here?” I ask, looking around for his best friend.

  “Yeah,” says JJ. “He’s talking to Amelia, actually. She’s come to Portland a few times and we’ve had dinner, so he knows her.”

  “I see,” I say. We stand there awkwardly, which is exactly when my brother decides to make his reappearance.

  “Hey,” he says, putting his arm around my shoulders. In his free hand he’s holding a plate of cheese.

  I see JJ’s eyes darken in what I’m pretty sure is . . . jealousy? He has no right to be jealous. He’s the one who told me he was screwed up and couldn’t treat me the way I deserve to be treated.

  “Who do we have here?” Ellis asks, peering curiously at JJ.

  “This is JJ,” I say. “He lives in Portland. We met this summer.”

  My brother isn’t stupid. He understands who JJ is. Lizzy was kind enough to fill him in on any parts I left out.

  “I would shake your hand, but I’m holding important things,” Ellis says.

  “Cheese?” I mutter. He grins at me and pats my shoulder.

  “I’m Ellis,” he says. “Nora’s brother.”

  I’m interested to see JJ’s face instantly clear. He no longer looks like he wants to throw Ellis through a wall like another one of his drunk patrons.

  “And you are?”

  “JJ,” he says, stepping forward and extending his hand. “JJ Curtis.”

  I feel Ellis’ hand tighten just a fraction on my shoulder. Now they each know who the other one really is.

  “You know Amelia?” Ellis asks. I’m relieved he doesn’t bring up this summer.

  “Yeah,” says JJ, who also looks just the slightest bit relieved. “We go back a long time. She was always a sweetheart to me.”

  Ellis nods. “She’s great. Have any idea where she is? We just got here and should say hi.”

  JJ glances at the garden. The white double doors are thrown up, revealing another party spread outside. And I’d forgotten what a magnificent garden the Rockwells have. Mrs. Rockwell didn’t do anything halfway.

  “Last I saw she was out there. Shall we?” JJ tips his head in that direction.

  “Yeah,” says Ellis, grinning. He falls into step next to JJ and lets me trail behind. I’m glad for the solitude. I need the time to prepare myself and catch my breath. I guess I’ll be seeing Amelia for the first with JJ after all.

  “So, you watch football?” Ellis asks. I do a mental eye roll.

  JJ grins. “I own a bar. So, yeah, definitely.”

  “It’s a big thing at my college,” says Ellis. “We always watch.”

  I shake my head. Guys and their sports. Just ridiculous. Can’t they bond over anything else? JJ and Ellis already sound like best friends, which is exactly what I don’t want!

  “What about you, Nora? Have you suddenly become a fan of football too?” Ellis asks over his shoulder. He’s trying not to grin at me.

  “I’ll watch it,” I say, since I don’t even know the rules. Sometimes at the bar when my friends went to the bathroom I’d just watch the TV. It was always sports.

  JJ glances back at me and grins. I’m caught in his smile.

  “Oh, wow, there you are!” a familiar female voice cries. I’m not prepared for it and I almost trip. Ellis and JJ had distracted me so much that I didn’t realize we were walking right up to Amelia and Sylvan.

  Where the hell is Lizzy when I need her? I wondered.

  Amelia has curly brown hair that falls to her waist, and her brown eyes are almond-shaped. She’s short, only a couple of inches over five feet, but her bubbly personality makes up for it.

  Or at least it used to.

  Amelia, who has already greeted JJ, gives Ellis a giant hug. She’s grinning from ear to ear.

  I stand there panicking. My palms are sweaty. What if she hates me? What if my presence is ruining her wedding? What if she blames me just like her mom did for all these years, and her text was just a cruel joke to get me here and make fun of me? I’m about to turn around and run when JJ laces his fingers through mine. He looks at me, and his eyes say, “You’re fine. You can do this. You are strong.” He mouths, “Breathe” as I walk toward Amelia.

  But what if I’m not strong? What if I can’t take it? I’m pleading now.

  I take a deep breath. I haven’t needed to do that in a while, I realize, not since I started talking to JJ at the beginning of the summer. It’s amazing how caring about the right person can make your world open up and blossom.

  It’s my turn next and Amelia’s eyes fill with tears. I don’t even realize what’s happening until we’ve thrown our arms around each other.

  “I asked Mom,” Amelia whispers in my ear. “I know it’s crazy to want to meet up at my wedding, but I just knew I couldn’t get married without you. He would never have forgiven me.” Neither of us needed to say who “he” was.

  We hold onto each other tight. I don’t even know what I’m saying, except that I’m so grateful to be there and see her.

  When we finally let each other go we’re both crying. Amelia sniffles. “Look at me, I spent all this time doing my makeup, and for what?” She gives a watery laugh.

  Leaning back, she keeps a firm hold on my hands.

  “You’re stunning,” she says. “So beautiful.”

  I roll my eyes. “Yeah, right.”

  Amelia laughs. “Still hate compliments?”

  “Yup,” I grin. “Congratulations, by the way.” I wave my hand to take in the scene all around us.

  “Thanks,” she gushes. “Did you meet James? Isn’t he just yummy?”

  I grin. “Yeah, yummy.”

  “Look, I want to catch up,” she says. “After the honeymoon, the next time we’re both in Boston . . . can we spend some time together? I know I don’t deserve it, not after how we treated you, but. . . .” I see tears forming in her eyes and rush forward to hug her again.

  “Of course,” I whisper. “There’s nothing I’d like more.”

  There will be a time and a place for talking about what happened. We need to, and we both know it. I need to talk to Amelia before I can heal fully. But today, this weekend, is not the time.

  She gives me a grateful look and one more snuffle. “I need to go find my almost-husband,” she says. She smiles and gives me a wave, then comes back and seizes my hand again.

  “Thank you,” she says. “Thank you so much. Michael really did pick the most amazing girl.” With one last smile she disappears into the throng of well-wishers.

  I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I decide neither reaction is appropriate here, but both, and a bucket of ice cream, will definitely be appropriate later.

  Ellis, Sylvan, and JJ have all disappeared, but I see Lizzy coming from the house.

  “There you are,” says Lizzy, rolling her eyes at me. “I’ve been looking everywhere.”

  Seeing the stricken look on my face she claps a hand over her mouth and says, “Oh no. What happened. Did you see him?”

  “Steven?”

&nb
sp; She rolls her eyes. “No, that’s the look I would make if I’d seen Steven. JJ. Is he here? Is Sylvan with him?” She can’t quite keep the excitement out of her voice.

  I nod. “I saw him after we came in. He went off somewhere with my brother.”

  “Man, that guy wins fans fast,” she says.

  I laugh. “They gave me space so I could talk to Amelia.”

  Lizzy makes an “o” shape with her mouth.

  “Let’s go find Steven,” she says. “That will get your mind off your stupid man.”

  “I heard stupid man and I knew you must be talking about me,” says Sylvan, coming up behind us. JJ and Ellis are with him. I glare at my brother. Traitor!

  He just shrugs. I’m not sure if I’m mad at him for leaving me alone with Amelia (I mean, he probably should have) or for going off with JJ as if they’re all buddy buddy.

  Lizzy giggles. “No,” she says. “We were talking about someone else.” She gives a meaningful look at JJ.

  “You and Amelia have a chance to talk?” Ellis asks.

  “Yeah,” I say. “We did. It was nice.”

  I refuse to look at JJ. I don’t care if he gave me the strength to face her in the first place.

  “So, how’s this for fun? Steven, his new girlfriend Jaia, and Kevin are our dinner partners.”

  Oh, man.

  Chapter Thirty-Three - JJ

  Dinner is painful.

  At one point Sylvan leans over to me and says, “What the hell is going on here? I feel like we’re caught between two armies doing battle.”

  I chuckle. “You really think of Lizzy and Jaia that way?”

  Sylvan raises his eyebrow at me. “You, my friend,” he says with deep accusation in his voice, “have never truly pissed off a woman.”

  On the way to the Rockwells’ that night I hadn’t thought about seating arrangements. I was too busy daydreaming about Nora in a short black dress, her legs striding confidently as her hips swished.

  I desperately wanted to be around Nora, and Ellis is awesome, but she’s clearly angry with me - with good reason.

  “What the hell is her ex doing bringing his girlfriend to this event anyway?” Sylvan asks me out of the side of his mouth.