Banished (Forbidden)

by Kimberley Griffiths Little

  My father winced at the mention of Horeb’s name and turned away to mount his camel, one slow step at a time, as though he’d aged twenty years.

  I climbed into the litter with my grandmother and embraced her fiercely.

  “I decided it was better to face death on the desert than be left behind with Judith,” she said dryly. “Besides, my son looks terrible.”

  I peered through the window at my father. He tucked his legs around his camel’s broad back, but he was gaunt as a skeleton and completely gray now, his hair, his beard, and his face.

  My grandmother leaned in to inspect me. “You should have washed your face at the temple.”

  “Is that all you can say to me after such a day?” I teased her, but the horror of all that had happened was beginning to wear. Dread gnawed at me. “I could always run back to Tadmur and jump into the well at the plaza for a proper bath.”

  “And give Kadesh a heart attack the moment you left his sight.”

  “If my appearance is so bad, how can he stand to look at me?”

  “Underneath the bruises and dirt is a most beautiful woman. You’ve caught the imagination of every single Edomite here. To them, you’re already their princess. And well deserved, I might add. Loyalty to your family. Unwavering courage despite grave threats.”

  I pressed my face into her neck, so grateful to be together, but every part of my body screamed with pain. “Then why do I feel as though I failed? I was ready to give up in the stoning pit, and then Leila was kidnapped right in front of my eyes.”

  “Pah! A true princess behaves just as you did today. The tribe of Nephish abandoned our family,” Seraiah went on severely. “They left your father to die in jail. They stoned you—and made me watch—while you prepared to die with dignity and honor. The people of Sariba will love you just as we all do.”

  Our hands clenched together while the bull camel lurched forward. The time had finally come to leave the lands I’d known my whole life, and Leila and Sahmril were not with me. A great wail rose up inside me, but if I gave in to all my sorrows I’d never survive this journey.

  “What do my cousins Hakak and Falail and Timnath think of me? I’m sure Aunt Judith poisoned them with ugly lies.”

  My grandmother used humor to break my desolate mood. “I rather fancy wearing jewels of jade and sapphire—and smelling like frankincense.”

  “You sound like you’re sixteen again.”

  “No matter how old you get, a girl feels young in her heart. It’s the body that gets to be a problem.”

  I pushed the curtains aside. The sun was setting, its gold rays splashing the world with a luxuriant hue. Despite all I’d been through, the sky’s color created a good omen as we headed to a land with caches of golden frankincense nuggets.

  13

  I quickly learned Chemish possessed skills similar to a physician. When we stopped late that night, he soaked herbs and ground roots to make poultices for my cuts and bruises, showing Seraiah how to apply the herbs to my skin and make a plaster. He warned me the next day would prove to be worse, and he was right. I ached so badly I could hardly move as we raced from the borders of the Assyrian Empire and headed south.

  “I’m sure I look ridiculous,” I said while my grandmother doctored me.

  Beads of sweat dribbled down her face. “You’re fortunate you have no broken bones.”

  “Lie down and rest,” I urged her. “I can finish tending my legs. We have two thousand miles to go.”

  My grandmother lay back on the pillows and closed her eyes. “Darling girl, I can promise you I won’t make it that far.”

  “Please don’t say that.”

  “None of us live forever, my dear, but I decided I wanted to be with you and your father in my last days.”

  “Were the women—Judith—treating you badly?”

  “I was ignored and yet overheard their gossip. Would any of them have done differently if their betrothed treated them as badly as Horeb did you? Other girls have taken their own lives rather than marry a man they despised.”

  I winced. “I—can imagine.”

  “I had a dear friend when I was young who did just that. It was terrible. Nobody was allowed to speak her name again. But I’ve never forgotten her. Sometimes when I was out by myself at the well or tending the camels I’d whisper her name and tell her I still remembered.” She paused. “Our life is in God’s hands. I gave my heart to Him when I was young, trusting all would be well in the end. And it usually is. But many times I’ve learned that the hard way.”

  “I’m not sure I can endure anymore.”

  My grandmother gazed at me. “You’ve had more than your share of tragedy at the hands of others. Unfortunately, we can’t take another person’s free will away, or force them to make different choices, no matter how much we wish we could. Because of your role as betrothed to the heir you were caught up in circumstances beyond your control. All you can do is endure it well and carry yourself with pride.”

  I dipped a strip of linen into the herbal paste and massaged it into the bruises on my shins. “Unfortunately,” I repeated.

  “Don’t let your heart turn to resentment, my sweet Jayden. You must forgive. It’s the only way to find peace.”

  “Forgiveness? I almost lost Kadesh. I’m scarred for life. I lost Sahmril, my mother’s jewelry, my camel to Dinah. Horeb hunts me like a wild animal. I refuse to be tamed and live under his rule.”

  “And that is your choice, my girl. You have every right to freedom and love. But Horeb won’t accept it.” Her eyes turned to the window, as if she could see what was beyond the night’s darkness. “If I know him, he is gathering stronger forces. Making promises he can’t keep to convince other armies to join him.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Seraiah posed a question back to me. “Why would Horeb’s army follow us all the way to the southern lands?”

  “Because his pride has made him crazy.”

  “Perhaps . . . but what else?”

  “He wants to make sure Kadesh is dead—kill him again. Then lock me up and force me into his marriage bed.”

  “What do the Maachathites and the Adummatus have to gain by joining forces with him?” My grandmother’s hooded eyes were thoughtful. “He may be gathering Assyrian tribes, too. Moabites, Midianites. Horeb has other motivations, Jayden. Remember, he learned of his father’s desire to join the Nephish tribe with Kadesh’s Sariba kingdom. He knows Abimelech wanted to put you and Kadesh on the throne to join our tribes in fealty. I would swear on your grandfather’s grave Horeb promised the Maachathites and Adummatus wealth and power—the promise of ruling the eastern deserts and waterways. Which means being in charge of all the riches of the desert worlds.”

  I wrapped a blanket around myself, tendrils of darkness wafting through the window to chill me. “This is so much bigger than I imagined.”

  “Horeb has seized a glorious opportunity. A chance at ruling the lands of Mesopotamia. Just as King Hammurabi is conquering and ruling the Babylonian cities of the great rivers to the east. All Horeb needs is the wealth of the frankincense lands, and you as his rightful queen to claim—and maintain—his legitimacy. And then produce lawful heirs. After all, he has the contract papers from Abimelech and your father.”

  The betrothal contract. Signed by my father and Horeb’s father when we were children.

  Seraiah reached out her withered fingers to touch my hand. “Despite hardships, pain, poverty, and death, you must believe in yourself and never give up.”

  “I just want peace with Kadesh.”

  “Our afflictions often make the good things that much sweeter. Opposition in all things.”

  I gazed through the curtains at the shadows of passing hills. With every alliance and every stroke of his sword, Horeb fought to prove himself worthy to his murdered father, his dead brother’s memory, and to his tribe. Uniting the desert tribes with the lure of unimaginable wealth, Horeb would grow stronger, more resilient, and more zealous.
r />   He would stop at nothing.

  14

  Over the next few weeks, while we journeyed toward the Red Sea, my bruises blossomed and then faded, the cuts stung less, my fever disappeared, and I could move about more easily without succumbing to whimpers of pain. Kadesh was solicitous, bringing meals and keeping us surrounded by his best warriors as we raced across the desert.

  My father’s silence lasted for days at a time. I often saw him staring down at his hands while he rode and I wondered what he was thinking about. On the first day I felt well enough to ride my camel again, I rode beside him, not speaking at first. I followed his gaze down to his hands. He was carrying one of my mother’s necklaces in his fist.

  When my father noticed, he slipped the necklace into his tunic pocket.

  “One day,” I told him softly, “I will find Sahmril and bring her to the frankincense lands. Leila, too. I’ll unite us as a family again.”

  His face crumpled, the edges of his features caving into grief. “Everything has gone wrong since your mother left this world. That’s when you ran away from home, our tribe. You broke your promises.”

  I tensed, not wanting to argue. “Those promises weren’t my promises, father. They were forced upon me.”

  “You left with a stranger, a man we know little about.”

  “But I know him. He’s good and kind and generous. He brought a hundred camels for you—with more to come for my bride price.”

  He winced when I mentioned the camels. Those same camels had been left at the oasis, along with our empty tent and other belongings. Horeb would destroy our personal possessions and steal the camels for his own. “Jayden, you traveled with a man you’re not related to. Your reputation is tarnished.”

  “Kadesh helped me search for Sahmril in Mari—and we found her.”

  His face was drawn tight. “You deserted your sister at the temple of Ashtoreth.”

  “I begged Leila to come with me, but she’s determined to be a priestess.” And is as stubborn as you, I wanted to add.

  “Horeb told me you’d gone to Mari with the stranger. He sent me to find you and bring you back home so the marriage could take place.”

  “Did Horeb also tell you he was in Mari? He found me at Nalla’s house—and then he killed Kadesh in front of me.”

  “No, it was Kadesh who kidnapped you and then he tried to kill Horeb.”

  “Horeb lies, Father. He attacked me, he killed Abimelech—”

  “Silence!” Pharez held up his trembling hands. “I won’t listen to this.”

  “You see Kadesh’s blind eye and mangled scar? Horeb did that. And then he gave me Kadesh’s bloody cloak as proof. I want you to trust me. I want you to believe me, because I’m your daughter. I’ve never lied to you. I’ve always told you the truth, Father.”

  “Until the stranger came into our lives. When he showed up, everything changed. You changed.”

  “Horeb and I were never right. He’s the one who changed as he grew up. And, after Zenos’ death he changed even more.”

  My father tried to wave my words way. They were too difficult for him to hear.

  “I never meant to love someone else, but why do I have to choose between Kadesh and my family?” I grasped my father’s hand, and his fingers were icy cold. “Mother would not have asked me to make that choice. She’d want me to be happy. Father,” I whispered. “I’m so sorry. For everything.”

  He leaned close to brush a finger against my cheek. “You’re bruised, and your fingers are broken,” he observed, staring at my linen-bound hand. “Stoned by our own tribe.” His voice broke and he went silent for several long minutes while our camels’ padded feet pounded the earth. Then he said, “Maybe I’ve been the blind man.”

  Tenderness surged through me. “Father, you loved Horeb like a son. That shows the goodness of your heart.”

  “Perhaps, but also the blindness of my mind.”

  We rode along in silence. Chemish led us to the trail that brought us in line for the wells that paralleled the Red Sea mountain range. These trails and wells would take us all the way to the land of Sa’ba. Cleverly, Chemish skirted his city of Edom to avoid anyone he knew who might pass information to Horeb. I was sorry he had to miss seeing Isra and his daughter.

  Later, scouts arrived with news of the Nephish and Maachathite armies. It hadn’t taken long for Horeb to learn of my stoning and the deaths of his tribal council. He’d be angry they hadn’t captured me. Furious that I had an army with me and had slipped through his grasp again.

  If Horeb resupplied with fresh camels in Tadmur, there was a real possibility he could catch up. At the pace we’d been traveling for so many weeks, from the Edomite lands north to Tadmur, and now crossing back over to go south, our animals were becoming tired. They needed a real rest. More than just a few hours at a time.

  I spoke to Kadesh about my concerns of Horeb catching up to us. “He doesn’t know the terrain where we’re going,” Kadesh assured me. “He’s never experienced the Empty Sands firsthand. He could lose half his men trying to follow us.”

  “Don’t underestimate Horeb. He’ll do everything he can to make it to Sariba, even if it kills his men and he crawls on his belly into the palace to slit my throat at midnight.”

  We stopped in the late afternoon, earlier than usual, to partake of a day of extra rest. We’d arrived three days ahead of the usual pace, and Chemish ordered extra food and rest for all the animals.

  The sea sparkled under the lowering sun. Boats and fishing vessels bobbed on the waters off the shore. The port of Akabah was at the northern tip of the Red Sea. Busy and bustling, larger than Tadmur, with vast neighborhoods, shops, a city plaza, thronging citizens—and the tang of sea salt spicing the air.

  At the marketplace we purchased fresh melons, grapes, dates, and bags of wheat and barley, and then set up camp along the seashore. The beach stretched wide and flat as my hand. A haze of mountains hung in the distance, so faint they didn’t seem real. Those were the mountains we would follow south to the land of Sheba and then nearly straight east to Kadesh’s kingdom of Sariba.

  Thunderous waves crashed along the shoreline. Tossing off my sandals, I ran into the warm water, recalling rare childhood trips. Remembering the dream I’d had of me and Kadesh swimming in the southern sea. His eyes holding mine while he held me on top of the surging water. Spectacular kisses as breakers rushed around us on the beach.

  Digging my bare toes into the wet sand along the shoreline, I sat down and hugged my knees, enjoying the glorious fresh air. Fingers of orange and mauve clung to the horizon, as though the setting sun was scrabbling to stay on top of the earth, just like I clung to the images in my dream. Behind me, campfires snapped. When I glanced to my left I caught Asher watching me.

  I rose to my feet, brushed the sand from my clothes, and strolled down the beach where waves broke in frothy bubbles. He didn’t follow me, but I could feel his eyes on my back.

  We slept soundly that night, grateful for the extra hours of rest. In the morning, the Edomites fished along the shore. Kadesh grasped my hand and we waded in the warm waters, salt clinging to the hem of my dress.

  “I wish we could stay longer,” I told him. “What other place could be more beautiful, more perfect and sweet?”

  Kadesh glanced down the coastline. “Wait until you see my homeland. Vistas and waterfalls you could hardly dream up in your imagination.”

  “I have a good imagination,” I said with a smile.

  Holding hands, we watched the Edomites playing in the ocean with their camels, laughing, eating great chunks of fresh-baked bread from the marketplace.

  Farther down, Asher was conversing with Laban, who was gesturing toward the city of Akabah. “What are they talking about?” I asked Kadesh. “Why, out of all the Edomites Asher grew up with, does he spend so much time with a man twenty years older than he is?”

  “I haven’t noticed any particular attention between them,” Kadesh answered. “On long journeys we make f
riends with all our companions. If we didn’t we’d be horribly bored and fights would break out.”

  “Still . . .” I said, letting the word linger. “I’ve seen them talking together before. It bothers me that Asher is my bodyguard and yet spends time with the one Edomite I despise completely.”

  “Perhaps he’s merely conveying a message from Chemish. He put Laban in charge of the front lines.”

  My instincts said otherwise, but I changed the subject. “Are we getting close to Sariba now?”

  “I’m sorry to dash your hopes, but we’ve barely begun. There are a hundred wells between Edom and my homeland. One well a day—at least for most of the trail. We’ll follow the delta for a few days. The spot where it enters the sea is called the Fountain of the Red Sea. And then there is a range of colossal mountains we must climb when we turn east for the land of Sa’ba.”

  “I never knew I lived in such a magical land.”

  “You won’t think it’s so magical when you grow weary and sore sleeping under the stars.”

  “How could I grow tired of any of this when I know you’re nearby?” I reached up to smooth his hair back from his patch and he winced—whether from physical or mental pain I didn’t know, and he never said. Having only one eye affected his ability to hunt and fight, too. I’d noticed he had assigned more Edomites to hunting duty. I wondered if he worried the people of Sariba would not accept a scarred prince. It must have weighed on his mind.

  Feeling a surge of affection, I rose on my toes and pressed my lips against his. His breath caught, and then Kadesh kissed me back with such melancholy, tears pricked at my eyelids.

  “This journey just makes me love you all the more,” Kadesh murmured. “Before I become completely distracted by you, let’s see how well you fare using a sword in soft sand. I know you’ve been practicing with Asher, but I’m going to show you another technique.”

  “I only wish I had a sword that fit my size,” I said.

  “When we get to Sariba you’ll have the best sword my bronze workers can fashion.”