Banished (Forbidden)

by Kimberley Griffiths Little

  “I’m holding you to it.”

  “The thought of you fighting Horeb’s soldiers sickens me,” he added. “One wrong move and they’ll take off your head.”

  “I don’t want to be caught unawares. I have to be able to fight for my life.”

  “I suppose with many weeks of travel ahead of us you have time to learn quite a bit.”

  I could guess what Kadesh was doing—playing out an imaginary death scene, just as I’d done when I’d watched Horeb’s soldiers carry him off to be killed.

  I smiled. “I think that means yes.”

  “I want Asher to continue teaching you, too. More experience with different styles of fighting. And, as your guard, he’ll be the one close by if we’re ever attacked on the desert.”

  “When we reach Sariba, your duties to the throne are going to demand much of your time, won’t they? I’ll have to learn how to function on my own, maneuver palace life.”

  Kadesh appeared relieved that I understood his role as prince and general of the Sariba army.

  I leaned in close, my lips against his cheek. “But I claim your nights, Prince of Sariba.”

  His arms went around my shoulders, and he brought me close, his fingers brushing through the strands of my hair. “I want Asher to teach you the slingshot and how to shoot a bow as well.”

  “All of that, too?” I teased. “And just a moment ago you were reluctant to let me learn just one weapon.”

  “Asher is the best with the sling.”

  “His skill saved my life.”

  “I’ll be eternally grateful.” Kadesh took on a more serious tone. “You’re not afraid, Jayden. I’ve seen it in your eyes, your face when you pull out your dagger to practice.”

  His compliment was high praise, but he had no idea how frightened I’d been the day Gad attacked me. Sheer terror had caused me to shove my dagger into the man’s chest. Perhaps this is what happened during battle—an immense sense of self-preservation.

  “My father had no sons,” I mused. “I used to listen to him and the other men relive their battle stories and raids. I tended the camels with him out on the desert—until my mother made me become a girl.”

  “I was the one to help my mother when my father was away on business. She used to confide in me, rely on me. . . .” Kadesh’s voice trailed away.

  “But no more?”

  Tension formed around his mouth and I placed my hands in his cold ones, bringing them to my lips to warm them. “You sound very close to her.”

  “We were very close.” His words seemed to travel up from a dark place deep inside.

  “Your mother—what is her name? She grew up in the Dedanite nation, right? We’re getting close to the Dedan forts, aren’t we?”

  He started, as though a fog had sprung up around the campfire. “Her name?”

  When he didn’t answer a long pause strung out between us. “Kadesh, tell me what happened to her.”

  He shook his head, his thoughts far away. “Not now, not on this journey. I can’t think of her and remain focused on getting us to Sariba safely.”

  His words left an empty spot inside me. What secret was he carrying that he couldn’t share with me? Surely he trusted me, but I could tell the subject was off limits. When he pushed me away I was more rattled than I wanted to admit. Was this how it would be when we arrived in Sariba?

  In three days we arrived at the Fountain of the Red Sea. Kadesh led the caravan through a narrow ravine, bringing us down to banks of sand along a slow-moving river. Previous torrential storms had left high watermarks on the canyon walls. Breathtaking sandstone cliffs towered about us.

  We slept under a grove of date palms. The trickle of water singing through the rushes under the tamarisk trees was soothing. I slept heavily, but awoke before dawn. The camp remained silent, but in a few hours the world would rush to life with the sunrise.

  I took the opportunity to gather my clean dress and soap to bathe in an actual river. A half-filled bucket from a well was never sufficient.

  With bare toes, I stepped along the spongy bank, making my way to a covert spot. The grasses were soft, a luxury to my callused feet.

  I placed the clean dress on the bank and furtively glanced about. Silent as a grave. Quickly, I dropped the dress I’d been wearing since leaving the Temple of Ashtoreth. My stomach clenched as I entered the river. The water was cooler than I expected, but after a few moments, the temperature was perfect and refreshing.

  To immerse myself was true bliss, and it was glorious to swim, the water dream-like against my bare skin. Farther out, the water grew deeper. I ducked completely under and washed my hair twice, swishing my neck to rinse the soap.

  Floating on my back, my eyes closed, I could conjure my mother and Leila’s chatter and laughter when we’d find a river to bathe in. I saw myself slipping on the wet banks. Chasing soap bubbles across the water. Pictures floated across the night sky—my mother scrubbing my hair. Me as a little girl shrieking when she combed out the wet knots.

  Laughter bubbled up my throat, along with the sting of loss pricking my eyes. I wasn’t sure I’d ever remember my mother without a combination of both happiness and sorrow.

  I clung to the hope I’d find Leila in Egypt one day. I couldn’t imagine what the goddess temples of Isis in that foreign land wanted with her.

  Thinking of the women of my family made me want to dance. Moving through the water, I spun in slow circles, the water rippling about my swaying hips. My arms arched overhead, flinging drops of water from my fingertips under the last of the crescent moon.

  Holding myself still, I practiced hip circles, the drops and lifts my mother had taught me. Placing a hand against my abdomen, I swirled on my toes in the soft mud. When I touched my naked skin, I thought of dancing for Kadesh on our wedding night. I needed to practice if I was to be ready to dance with the seven veils for him—as well as in the marriage tent when we were alone at last.

  The tamarisk trees rustled and I was startled out of my reverie. Rising from the water, I glanced about. A flash glittered beyond the trees. I scrambled up the bank and grabbed my dagger from its sheath, my breath raspy.

  No growls or snuffling came through the brush.

  “Is someone there?” I called in a harsh whisper. Hurriedly I dried myself with the towel I’d packed. My thighs were taut with nerves as I threw the dress back over my head.

  Just as I shifted the dress around my hips and reached for my sash, Asher stepped out of the shadows.

  My stomach dropped sickeningly. “Have you been watching me?”

  “No, my lady, no!” The young man strode forward to reassure me and then stopped. “I was on watch and heard noises. I had no idea it was you. I apologize for intruding.”

  Heat rose like wildfire from my toes to my damp chest. My hair was heavy and wet against my neck, my stomach queasy at the sight of him. The stars were quickly fading now, the river a hazy gray in the early morning. “Do you speak the truth?”

  The young man pressed a hand against his heart, reminding me of Kadesh. “I do not lie. I had no idea you were out here.”

  Seeing him here at the river was too reminiscent of the night I’d fallen into the pond and Horeb had attacked me. My heart was racing, my lips dry, but I had to trust Asher would do no such thing.

  A terrible thought reared its ugly head. I used to think that about Horeb, too.

  “You saw nothing?”

  Impulsively, Asher took a step forward. “When you walked up the bank you were the loveliest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

  My mouth opened and I spluttered, “How am I supposed to respond to that?”

  “That was stupid. Unforgivable. I didn’t mean anything, my lady. Please don’t speak of this to Kadesh. I mean—it’s true I think you are one of the finest girls I’ve ever known. The most brave, and the most beautiful. But I would never hurt you. I’d never do anything to make you hate me.”

  Confusion tumbled inside my mind. “Of course I don’
t hate you.”

  He looked so relieved I almost laughed. “My father—all the men—think the same. We’ve heard the stories of what you did to save your sister. The attack from the man in the Mari hills. I’ve never known any girl like you before.”

  “I’ve also made a hundred mistakes. Often in the same day.”

  Dawn created pink streaks behind his head, lighting his youthful face. He was actually quite handsome.

  I shook the thought away and attempted to walk up the slope of the bank, but he was standing in the middle of the path I needed to return to my sleeping quarters.

  Asher toyed with the leather strap of his slingshot, and I could tell he wanted to say more. “You have my complete allegiance and devotion, my lady.”

  “You’ve demonstrated that most faithfully,” I said, my voice louder than I wanted, keenly aware of the listening trees. “I’m grateful, but it can never be more. You understand that?”

  Asher’s expression dropped as though a small flicker of hope had drained away. “Jayden, if you ever have need of my heart, it’s yours.”

  I was speechless. The hope he harbored was foolish and unreasonable, but anything I said would belittle his tender, boyish emotions.

  Asher’s fingers brushed against mine and I quickly sidestepped him. “Get some sleep, Asher,” I said, making my voice brisk. “Before the camp rises.”

  I couldn’t get to my bed fast enough. When I lay down, I couldn’t stop my heart from pounding.

  Asher had denied it, but I knew he’d seen me rising naked out of the river. He’d seen me squeezing the water out of my hair, reaching for my clothes. I didn’t want to hurt him, because he was a boy in love, but I hoped no one else had seen our encounter.

  15

  Every hour my mind conjured the memory of Asher’s eyes when I walked out of the river. I could still feel his breath when he wrapped his body around me to save me from the stoning. Why had he chosen me for his affections, the girl of the prince he clearly loved so greatly?

  The questions perplexed me during the day. Made sleep elusive at night.

  I couldn’t even ignore him due to our sword-fighting practices.

  I was finding it difficult to ignore him at all. When we packed up the animals the next morning, once again I noticed Asher and Laban conferring with each other, heads bent, their movements quick and deft, surreptitious.

  Asher passed something to Laban, a leather packet of some kind. No, it was a thin tablet for writing. Laban stuffed it in the folds of his cloak and glanced up to see if anyone was watching. Quickly, I averted my face, tying my water pouch to Shay’s halter, but still wondering what their conversations were about. Further, what had been etched on the writing tablet?

  I bided my time and bit my tongue. A few days later, we entered the borders of Dedan—the tribe of Kadesh’s mother. Dedan and Sheba were brothers, sons of Abraham and his second wife, Keturah. The current Queen of Sheba was their descendant, which made Kadesh a great-grandson of Dedan, and cousin to the queen.

  The oasis near the capital of Dedan was just as exquisite as the Fountain of the Red Sea. Nestled in the midst of the magnificent Hijaz mountain range, there were miles of towering red cliffs. Caves and tombs lay nearby, reminding me of the Edomite canyons.

  At the oasis lake, jasmine perfumed the air. Knee-high grasses and lush wildflowers of red and purple surrounded the perimeter. Groves of date palms grew as far as I could see. Orchards of orange trees and grape vineyards. Pistachios and almonds.

  Kadesh’s mother surfaced at last, even though the memories were not his own. “My father met her on one of his caravan trips when he was first learning the frankincense trade.” He glanced at me meaningfully, recalling our first encounter, when he’d crouched on top of the cliff while I danced over my mother’s grave.

  “I hope your father wasn’t bleeding to death when your mother met him,” I said, hiding a smile with my scarf.

  He laughed, reaching for my camel’s halter to bring me closer. “And if he had he would probably have endured the stitching and burning of his wounds much better than I did.”

  It was good to see him in better spirits. His parents’ courtship and marriage obviously pleased him, but what could the dark secret be? Why wouldn’t he share their current status with me?

  “My father entered the city with hundreds of camels laden with frankincense and myrrh. His wealth impressed her family. My mother was intelligent and educated by a private tutor. She knew art and history and appreciated the finer things in life. My father negotiated a treaty with the Dedanites, and the construction of forts began. Resting places for travelers. A safe spot, with Dedan soldiers for protection, as well as water and food. We now have forts under construction from here north to the Edomite lands. That’s how I became allies with Chemish. We have plans to build forts all the way south to the kingdom of Sheba, at the bottom of the Red Sea. One day the caravan trail will be faster. Easier to reach the cities of Salem and Damascus to the west and north. Including the eastern Babylonian cities along the Euphrates.”

  “What an ambitious undertaking.” We rode past one of the half-constructed forts on the outskirts of the walled capital of Dedan and I was impressed.

  “Next time I’ll take you into the city and let you meet my crazy Dedan cousins. For now, we’ll stop one night here, resupply, and try to make the kingdom of Sheba by the next full moon.”

  “The next full moon?” The vast distance ahead of us was astonishing. “You have a complicated family tree—as well as complex friendships with people in every city and land.”

  “Comes with driving caravans since I was young enough to maneuver a camel. Chemish is a longtime ally of Uncle Ephrem and my mother’s family. A skilled horseman, general, and doctor. His friendship and alliance has saved my life more than once. Fortunately, we have enough camels to carry thirty sacks of food. We’ll need to fatten up as we continue south. The last few weeks of the journey are the worst. How is Seraiah faring?”

  “Becoming more frail, but stubborn and feisty as always.”

  Kadesh winked at me, a gesture that tugged at my belly. He looked unexpectedly sensuous with his swarthy black eye patch. “The soldiers are all secretly in love with her.”

  I couldn’t help grinning. “They all wish they had a grandmother like her.”

  The gates of Dedan glinted in the setting sun, monstrous pylons cunningly crafted of hewn stones embedded with carnelian, onyx, and red polished jasper.

  I climbed back into the litter with Seraiah, our bull camel placed in the middle of the caravan for safety. The wooden frame rattled, and a male voice called through the curtains. I pulled the drapes back and found Asher wearing ragged, filthy clothes. He’d smeared dirt on his face and knotted a cloth about his forehead in a style I’d never seen the Edomites wear before.

  “Kadesh is sending a group into the Dedan city to get supplies. We don’t want to be identified.”

  “You look more like a beggar.”

  “Precautions so your Nephish leader doesn’t know we’ve come through here. We don’t want to leave any trace behind in case his scouts are in the city.”

  “Seraiah hasn’t been well,” I told him. “I’d hoped we’d spend a night here.”

  “My father and Kadesh have decided to move the camp to the southern boundaries of Dedan while we purchase supplies.”

  “What if someone recognizes the camels?” I asked.

  “We’re taking our oldest animals and removing their finery so we’ll appear as poor desert gypsies. We’ll meet outside the city later.” Asher went on. “One of the scouts believes he sighted a Maachathite lodging at one of the Dedan inns.”

  “It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s with Horeb, does it—I mean, the Nephish.”

  “If there’s a Maachathite soldier in Dedan lands, he’s with the Nephish, no doubt on that score.”

  My hands began to sweat. “But if you’ve spotted a Maachathite spy, that means the army could only be a day or two behind
us. I thought we’d left them at least two weeks behind.”

  “Scouts are usually several days ahead. In fact, we already have scouts in Nahom and Sheba. They rotate, some staying in the cities, others riding back with fresh horses to bring us news.”

  I gazed past him to the camels and horses being organized to go south of the fortified city. A few other men were dressed similarly to Asher. “I—” I lowered my voice so as not to disturb Seraiah, who was sleeping. “How often have you visited the southern lands?”

  “Only once about a year ago. My father took my mother and me to visit Kadesh and his family. When his—” The young man stopped, and I wondered what he’d been about to say. “Why do you ask this?”

  “I’m sure it’s silly. I once heard a rumor about magical serpents that guard the frankincense trees. Did you ever see one? Are they dangerous?”

  He smiled. “Don’t worry, my lady. The kingdom of Sariba is a dream on earth. A piece of heaven itself, fashioned by God’s hands.”

  An odd premonition spiraled up my belly. Asher was keeping something from me—from us—too.

  “You’ll fit in perfectly, my lady. You and Kadesh on the throne will mark days of glory that lie ahead.”

  I waved away his flattery. “Asher, please. Stop that.”

  His face held a look of pleasure. “You just said my name out loud. For the first time.”

  Embarrassment flooded me, and my face grew warm.

  “I don’t say these things to flatter you, my lady. I speak only truth.”

  “I could never accuse you of lying.” I lifted my eyebrows, referring to the reassurance he’d given me that morning on the bank of the river when I’d emerged from my bath.

  How did I know he hadn’t been spying on me from the moment I walked to the water’s edge? What if he’d watched me undress and bathe and dance? I’d done nothing to be ashamed of, but a strange guilt spread through my belly. I worried I’d done something that would hurt Kadesh if he knew about the incident at the pond. So many things about Asher made me uneasy.

  A flush rose up the boy’s face. Had I struck at the truth?