Rank

by D. R. Graham

  “We used to have a place like this, but my mom had to sell it after my dad died. I used to go for walks at dusk just to listen to the world slowing down.” I closed my eyes and inhaled the fresh air. “Shae-Lynn’s not going to be able ride Stella, so you can if you want to.”

  She rocked for a while before she answered. “Let me think about it. I’ll let you know.” The sky got darker and the air cooled off. “Billy,” she said so softly I almost didn’t hear her.

  “Yeah.”

  “This feels nice, doesn’t it?”

  I didn’t answer, but it did remind me of a time when I didn’t have so many problems.

  “Don’t you ever think about settling down with one girl?”

  I shrugged, because although I hadn’t ever really thought about it, I knew I probably should make a plan for my future, like Nate had done.

  “If you did settle down, it could feel like this all the time.”

  “I can’t leave Saskatoon right now with everything going on with my mom and brother.”

  “You don’t have to. We could date long distance for a while and if it gets serious, I’ll move there. It’s not like I’m tied to Edmonton.” She studied my expression, maybe hoping for something that wasn’t there. “You can stay tonight if you want.”

  Shit. I shouldn’t have stayed for dinner. I stood and said, “I have to work tomorrow.”

  “Call in sick. I’ll worry if you’re driving at night.”

  “I already miss way too many work days with all the events. I can’t afford to get fired.”

  She sighed as she stood. “Your hat’s in the dining room. Hold on a second. I’ll get it.” She disappeared inside.

  Through the screen door, I heard what sounded like her gasping. Then she said, “You can’t be here.”

  “Yeah? Who’s going to stop me?” a man’s voice replied.

  Chapter 14

  I opened the screen door, walked down the hall, and stood in the archway to the dining room to see who Tawnie was talking to. There was an athletic looking guy sitting at the head of the table.

  “Who’s your dinner guest, Tawnie?”

  “None of your business, Mitch. You need to leave before I call the cops.”

  “Go ahead. I’ll be done with what I’m about to do before the cops get here.”

  Tawnie stepped closer to me and it seemed as if she was checking which exit was nearest.

  “She asked you to leave,” I said.

  “Shut up.”

  I stepped into the dining room and stood in front of Tawnie. “Go call the police.” She turned and her feet pounded against the floorboards as she ran up the stairs. I stared at Mitch. The chair scraped across the floor behind him as he stood.

  “You think you’re a tough guy?” he asked.

  “I’m not looking for a fight. You just need to leave. You’re trespassing. And from what she’s told me I’m going to assume you’re also violating a restraining order.”

  “You picked the wrong girl.”

  “She doesn’t want anything to do with you. You need to accept that and move on.”

  He laughed and walked along the side of the dining table towards me. He was as tall as me and a little broader. His breathing was shallow and getting faster. “This is between her and me. You need to mind your business, cowboy.”

  “Making sure she’s safe is my business.”

  He rubbed his hand over his mouth. “I hope you enjoyed fucking her because it’s the last thing you’re ever going to do.” He winced as if the thought of her being with someone else stabbed him.

  I smiled to provoke him and widened my stance. “I did enjoy it. Thoroughly.”

  He launched himself through the air and tackled me to the ground. His fist made contact with my jaw, but I wrestled him onto his back and rammed my knee against his chest. I punched him with a left hook.

  He was out.

  I stood and kicked his motionless body. Tawnie appeared in the archway with the phone pressed to her ear and stared at Mitch. I put on my hat and sat on a dining room chair to wait for either the police to arrive, or for the asshole to come to. Tawnie rushed into the kitchen and returned with a bag of frozen peas. “Here,” she whispered away from the phone. “Put this on your face. I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault.” I pressed the bag against my hand. It was already throbbing from punching him so hard.

  “How long until an officer is going to be here?” she asked the person on the phone. “Mitchell LaPorte…Tawnie Lang…Yes, but there’s a restraining order.” She frowned as she paced back and forth listening to the person on the other end of the phone. “He entered my house without permission. He attacked my friend.” Mitch groaned and moved a little, which made her hop back. Her breathing sounded as if she was being choked. “Can you please tell them to hurry?”

  He groaned again and tried to move, so I stood over him. “Stay put, or I’ll knock you out again.”

  He rubbed his jaw and shook his head. “Damn. What did you hit me with?”

  “My bare fist, and there’s plenty more where that came from if you ever go near her again. Got it?”

  He shook his head again and rolled to lie on his back.

  The police arrived ten minutes later and arrested him. One cop escorted him to the cruiser and the other one interviewed us. By the time everything was done, it was after midnight. Tawnie walked over and hugged me. “You can go. I don’t want you to get fired on my account.”

  “Maybe you shouldn’t be here all by yourself.”

  “It’s fine. I already called one of my girlfriends to come by and sleep over. She’ll be here any minute.” She stood on her tiptoes and kissed me. “I’m glad you were here. Thanks.”

  “Don’t mention it.” I took my hat off to run my hand through my hair.

  She reached up and ran her finger over the crease between my eyebrows. “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.” Headlights from a compact car turned up the driveway. “There she is now. Go.”

  I kissed her cheek before I went out to my truck. I plugged my phone in to recharge it. There were ten text messages from Cole asking where I was. Three from Tyson telling me that Blake was trying to get a hold of me. There was also one voice message from Shae-Lynn saying that she couldn’t sleep in the hospital and she was wondering if I would call her. I listened to her message again because the sound of her voice made the stressful feeling in my chest disappear.

  I drove back to the hospital.

  Shae-Lynn was lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, when I popped my head into her room. There was a metal brace holding her head in place and she looked uncomfortable.

  “Hey,” I whispered and closed the door behind me so none of the nurses would realize I snuck in.

  Her head didn’t move, but her eyes rolled to the side to look at me. She smiled. “Hey. I thought you already went back to Saskatoon.”

  “No. I had some stuff to do.”

  “I wouldn’t have called if I thought you were actually going to come by. Lee-Anne said you were having a hard time being here because it was bringing up memories of your dad.”

  “I’m okay now that I can see you’re going to be okay.”

  “This is your idea of okay?” she joked.

  “Well, at least you’re conscious. And I’m glad you’re able to look at me again. Have you gotten over what you witnessed at the bar last night?”

  “God, was that only last night? Feels like forever ago.”

  It did feel like forever ago, but I hadn’t forgotten it. “Do you think you can start seeing me as that other guy again?”

  She sighed and her eyes closed in a long blink. “Well, I had this teacher once who said life was like one of those desk calendars that has an inspirational quote on each page.” She looked at me. “You know those ones you rip off at the end of every day?”

  I nodded because my mom had one from the eighties near the phone for taking messages.

  “He told us to start each day fresh an
d positive, like a new page on the calendar — learn from your experiences and mistakes, but leave any guilt, regret, worry, disappointment, hurt or anger in the past.”

  “Does that mean you forgive me?”

  “It means I would like to leave my feelings about that particular incident in the past. Tomorrow’s a new day. Hopefully you learned something from it.”

  “Don’t let drunk girls go down on you in a public place where people whose opinion you care about might see?”

  She smiled at my attempt at humour. “I guess that counts as learning from your mistakes. You care about my opinion?”

  “Yeah. I do. What did you learn?”

  “That you’re an idiot.”

  I relaxed, glad we were back to the comfortable place we had been before I screwed up. “But you still called me when you couldn’t sleep.”

  Her cheeks turned a little pink and she looked up at the ceiling. “You’re the only person I know who would be awake this late.”

  “Where’s your family?”

  “The motorhome is out in the parking lot. I told them I wanted to get some sleep, but then after they left, I was wide awake. You don’t have to stay.”

  “I don’t mind. I can stay until you fall asleep if you want.” I dragged over a vinyl-covered armchair and sat down. “Where’s Nate?”

  The corner of her mouth turned up into what may have been a grin. “He had to go back to Calgary. He’s opening up his own veterinary clinic.”

  “Yeah, I heard. That’s awesome.” I tried to say it without sounding bitter, but it didn’t quite work.

  “He’s a really nice person.”

  “I know. I didn’t say he wasn’t.”

  “Then, why are you making that expression like you want to beat him up or something?”

  “I’m not. I’m happy for him. I’m happy for you.”

  She didn’t seem convinced before she asked, “Were you just with Tawnie?”

  I didn’t want to admit it because she was going to think I was using Tawnie again. I avoided making eye contact for as long as I could before I met her gaze. She was going to find out anyway, so I said, “Yeah. I had to return her trailer.”

  “You only went to return the trailer?”

  “Well, someone I know mentioned that maybe it was time for me to try having a relationship that lasted for more than two nights, so I hung out for a while. We had dinner.”

  “Hmm. Do you always take that someone’s advice?”

  “That someone knows me pretty well and I’m pretty sure she’s right.”

  She inhaled and stared up at the ceiling for a while before exhaling. “You and Tawnie in a committed relationship. Good for you.” Her eyes closed as if it was too much effort to keep them open.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Paralyzed.”

  “That’s not funny. It’s not normal to joke when you’re laid up in the hospital not able to feel your arms and legs.”

  She opened her eyes again. “The pain medicine makes me seem calm. I’m actually freaking out inside my head, but by the time the terror reaches the surface, I feel numb.”

  “I wouldn’t mind some of that medicine.” It sort of sounded like I was joking, but I wasn’t really.

  “You’ll have to start riding again so you can get injured.”

  “Never mind then.” I chuckled.

  Her tone shifted into something more serious, and she sounded scared when she asked, “Have you ever had an injury like this?”

  “No, I try not to let the animal land on me.” I kept it light to prevent her from thinking too much about it and worrying.

  “Ha ha. I’ll keep that in mind next time.”

  I pointed to the tube leading from the bed to a machine. “I do have some experience with a catheter, though — as a result of a horn to the groin.”

  “Fortunately, I can’t feel it.”

  “Can you move your fingers?” I slid my hand under hers.

  She squeezed very subtly. Even though her fingers barely moved, the warmth of her touch inched all the way up my arm. The sensation grew in intensity as she squeezed tighter. When the heat spread to my chest, my heart jumped as if I’d backed up onto an electric fence. When I flinched, her eyes met mine for a second before she moved her hand away.

  “Did you feel that?” I asked.

  Her voice was soft and her lips barely moved. “Yes.”

  I didn’t know if she was referring to the physical touch or the shock, but the corner of her mouth turned up in a smile, which made me smile too. “How did you call me if you can’t move?”

  She pointed at her phone sitting on the bed next to her right hip. “My phone has a voice activated feature. I had never used it before, but it’s pretty awesome.”

  “I tried to use mine when I first got my phone, but it just came up with a bunch of gibberish.”

  “That’s because it doesn’t understand hick accent.”

  I laughed. “Yeah, that must be it.”

  Her eyes rolled to the side to look at me. “Why do you look like you were in a fight?”

  “It’s a long story.”

  “You might as well tell me. I’ve got nothing better to do.”

  “I’d rather talk about good things.”

  She was quiet for a while as if she was searching for something pleasant. “I can’t think of any good things right now. Can you?”

  I moved the chair towards the end of the bed so she wouldn’t have to strain her eyes so much to look at me. I sighed. “I can’t think of anything good right now either. We can play a game.”

  “I can’t move.”

  “You don’t have to. When I was a kid, my mom used to play this game with Cole and me on long car rides. She would sing a couple lines from a song and we would have to guess the song and artist. I can’t sing, but I’ll say the line.”

  “Bruce Springsteen.”

  I laughed. “You can’t guess before I even say the line.”

  “Okay. Go.”

  I recited the lines and smiled as she tried to think of the song.

  “Sing it.”

  “I really can’t sing.”

  “Everybody can sing; it’s just not always in tune.”

  “There’s more wrong with my singing than just being out of tune.”

  “Luckily for you, I know that it’s Lee Brice. Hard to Love.”

  “Good. Your turn.”

  She sang three lines with a voice that was mesmerizing.

  I watched her face for a while before I recovered from the way the sound of her voice made my skin tingle. “I can’t remember the name of the song, but it’s by Dallas Smith.”

  “You only get a half point for that one.”

  “All right.” I took my hat off and hung it on my knee before I said the line of lyrics.

  She squished up her face. “Um, I know this one. My dad likes it. I would definitely know it if you gave me the tune. Can you whistle?”

  “Not in tune.”

  “Give me a second. It’s an old one. Is it Kenny Chesney?”

  “No.”

  “Tim McGraw?”

  “No.”

  “Brad Paisley?”

  “No.”

  “Alan Jackson?”

  “No.”

  “Toby Keith?”

  “No.”

  “Ooh, I remember. It’s Garth Brooks. Friends In Low Places.”

  “You get minus ten points for that one.”

  She laughed, then licked her lips. “Is there still a cup of water on the counter behind me?”

  “Yeah.” I stood and held it so she could take a sip from the straw. “Do you need anything else?”

  “Neural sensation.”

  “Hilarious.” I sat back down and sighed because no matter how much we joked, it didn’t change the fact that she was seriously injured.

  She must have known what I was thinking because she said, “Don’t make that stressed face of yours.”

  I smiled to erase the tens
ion. “You’re the second person to say that to me today. Apparently I can’t help it.”

  She exhaled and closed her eyes in a long blink. “I’m scared, Billy.”

  Hearing her say it crushed me, but I couldn’t let it show. I leaned in and said, “Well, lucky for you, I don’t get scared. I’ll be brave for you.”

  She opened her hand so the palm was facing up. “Do you mind holding my hand again?”

  I rested my elbows on the edge of the bed and wrapped my hand around hers. The warm sensation traveled up my arm to my chest again. I smiled when it gave me another little jolt.

  “You do get scared.” Her voice was quiet and sleepy sounding.

  “Prove it.”

  “You throw up before every round.”

  I chuckled. “That’s just food poisoning. I need to learn to stay away from arena hotdogs.”

  “Admit it.”

  “All right. I get scared sometimes. I admit it. We’ll have to be brave together.”

  She smiled, proud that she’d got me to say it. “Thanks for being here, Billy.”

  “Don’t mention it.”

  We sat quietly for a long time, then she said, “I’m sleepy now.” She closed her eyes and her breathing slowed as she drifted off to sleep. I watched her sleep for a while before I pulled my phone out and texted Hank Pollert to tell him I wasn’t going to be at work on time and would make up for it by staying late. He was going to be pissed, but I didn’t feel like leaving. I put my head down on the bed and fell asleep still holding Shae-Lynn’s hand.

  Chapter 15

  At five in the morning, a nurse came in and woke me up. I stood and kissed Shae-Lynn on the forehead. She opened her eyes and smiled. “Hey.”

  “Hey. They’re kicking me out, and I’ve got to get home for work,” I whispered.

  “Okay. Thanks for staying.”

  “I’ll call you.”

  She squeezed my hand one more time before I left. It took over six hours to get back to Saskatoon. I couldn’t tell if Hank was more mad that I didn’t get to work until lunchtime, or that I was so tired I was moving at half my normal speed. It took me until eight o’clock at night before I got all the work done. My phone buzzed the entire day with messages from Cole, but I ignored them because I didn’t have the energy to deal with him.