The Things Everson Lost

by Tina Martin

  “It does,” he said, removing the phone from the clip to see who the caller was. It was June as he had suspected. “Listen, Eliana—”

  “Wait,” she cut in. “I want to apologize for last night. I was feeling a bit too nostalgic about our past and how we used to be. I thought you felt it, too. Apparently, I was wrong.”

  Deciding to be honest with himself, Everson said, “You weren’t wrong, Eliana, but what happened between us…” he sighed and shook his head.

  She touched his arm and said pleadingly, “The day is pretty much over. Can we talk over dinner?”

  No, we can’t talk over dinner! I’m married, chick, and my wife doesn’t know I’m here and I’m paranoid because I could get busted if my brother and sister-in-law sees me here with you. No. We ain’t talking, and we ain’t having dinner. And that’s my final answer.

  “Is that a yes or no?” she asked when he didn’t respond – just stared at her like he was lost in time.

  In many ways, he was lost.

  “Okay. Yes, that’s fine. Let me go in here and change shirts, at least. I’ll come to your room to get you.”

  “Are you sure about that?” she questioned.

  His eyes narrowed. “Yes. I’m sure. I said I would, didn’t I?”

  “Yes, but you’ve also been avoiding me all day, so—”

  “I’ll come to your room to get you,” he said again.

  “All right. I’ll be waiting.” Heading back to her room, she sashayed away from him hoping he was looking.

  He was…

  Everson swiped his keycard for entry into his room. He cracked the door open but didn’t go inside. Still standing in the hallway, he watched her walk away in a sexy stroll, taking a moment to study her. Then, when she was out of sight, he stepped inside.

  Walking to the closet, he took a clean, long-sleeved camel-colored shirt and slid his arms into, buttoning it up. And he decided to wear long slacks instead of shorts to dinner. He couldn’t believe he’d accepted her invitation to join her. What happened to the willpower he had this morning? The dread he felt after telling June more lies? And June had called just a few minutes ago. How could he talk to her, knowing he was about to have dinner with Eliana?

  Sitting on the bed feeling downright awful about all of this, he thought about calling his brother, Bryson. If anyone could set him straight and give him the verbal beatdown he desperately needed, it would be Bryson. So why wasn’t he dialing his brother’s number? He knew why. He wanted to go out to dinner with Eliana. He fought his conscience all weekend long, and he was still battling it now. How else would he once and for all wash the woman out of his system if he didn’t go through this process? Something had to get dirty before it could get clean, right?

  “Right,” he told himself, “But this is the last time. The last dinner, then my life goes back to the way it was. Normal. Like, when-I-didn’t-talk-to-myself normal.”

  He stood up from the bed and patted his back pocket to ensure he had his wallet. Then he left the room, heading toward the elevator to go to hers.

  Chapter 4

  He’d offered to drive. Why on earth would he do something so absurd? The whole weekend, they’d driven separate cars. But this time, she was sitting in the passenger seat of his car. A seat that didn’t belong to her. That was June’s seat. Eliana was dirtying it up with her presence, and it was his fault for making the brainless suggestion. He knew how Eliana felt about him. That she was still crushin’ on him. Somewhat infatuated. Stuck in the past. Wishing, hoping, maybe even praying that they could have a second chance at love. She should’ve driven her own car. Being this close to her, in the confines of a vehicle, was too much to bear, especially when he could feel her eyes on him with every turn he made.

  This was the kind of place where a man took his woman for a special date – a romantic evening – possibly the reason why Eliana had suggested it. The place was crawling with couples, and the ambiance was perfect – lit candles, luscious red roses on every table and soft music. Caught in the moment, Everson left a soft kiss on Eliana’s cheek before pulling out a chair for her. Why had he done that?

  “Thank you, Everson,” Eliana said, all smiles with what looked to be a twinkle in her eyes.

  “You’re welcome.”

  He sat down, glanced at her then focused his attention on the waiter, ordering a bottle of wine and two glasses of water.

  “This is cozy,” she said.

  “Yeah. It looks similar to a dozen other restaurants we passed. I’m curious—why did you suggest this one?”

  “Because they have good food. I’ve been here before with my girlfriends.”

  He glanced around. “This doesn’t look like the kind of place you would bring your girlfriends.”

  “And that, my friend, is precisely why we came here. We were on this whole female empowerment tip back then, telling ourselves that just because we’re single doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy life. Single ladies can dine at five-star restaurants and enjoy a steak dinner. Besides, it was our little getaway. We did whatever we wanted to do.”

  “What were you getting away from? You seem to have a simple, carefree lifestyle.”

  Eliana smiled uncomfortably but managed to come up with an answer for him when she said, “I have obligations. It doesn’t matter if they’re work-related or not. Obligations are obligations and sometimes, we need a break from the redundancy of life. Too much of the same thing is not necessarily a good thing. Would you agree?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Even when it comes to relationships? Marriage?”

  Everson nodded. “Yes. Married people get on each other’s nerves. They’re together all the time. There’s bound to be some nerves being plucked, sometimes permanently. Then arguments begin to form on regular schedules. This has to be done. That has to be done. It certainly isn’t a walk in the park and it’s redundant – sleeping with the same person every night, eating the same meals, frequenting the same restaurants. It can drive a person insane. At the same time, though, when it’s good, it’s everything. Marriage isn’t as bad as the world tries to make it seem. I mean, if you compare it to family – my brothers irk me all the time. And don’t get me started on my sister.”

  Eliana smiled. “How are they, by the way?”

  “They’re good. Bryson got remarried.”

  “Re-married?” she asked, eyebrows raised.

  “All right, guys,” the waiter said interrupting the flow of their conversation, placing a bottle of wine on the table along with two glasses of water and two wine glasses. “Are you ready to order?”

  “Not quite,” Eliana said. “We’ve been sitting here talking…didn’t even look at the menu yet.”

  “Yeah,” Everson said. “Give us a few minutes.”

  “Will do. Take your time.”

  When the waiter walked away, Eliana looked at Everson and smiled.

  “What were we talking about?” he asked.

  “Your brother. You said he got remarried. I didn’t know he was married in the first place.”

  “Yeah, but the first time around, marriage didn’t work out for him. He’s got himself a good woman now, though.”

  “Any kids?”

  “Nah. Not yet. The only one of us with a child is Garrison. He has a son. His wife died during childbirth.”

  “Oh my God. That’s so sad.”

  “Yeah.”

  “How’s he doing?”

  “He’s coping. Some days are harder than others as you can imagine.”

  “Yes. Of course. Wow. That must’ve been devastating.”

  “It was. We were all in shock. Vivienne was a part of the family. For her to die like that…” Everson shook his head. He picked up the menu. “Anyway, what’s good here?”

  “I love the Cajun crab legs,” she said. “You have to try them.”

  “Since I don’t have a meal preference this evening, I think I will try the crab legs.”

  When the waiter returned, he took their
requests, then Everson poured wine into their empty glasses.

  “Everson?” Eliana said to capture his attention.

  He looked up at her noticing that her elbows were up on the table. Her fingers interlaced with her chin resting on them. “Yes?”

  “Did you think your life would turn out the way that it did?”

  Everson forehead bunched up.

  Explaining herself, Eliana said, “I mean, when you look back and remember where you were then, comparing it to where you are now. Remember in high school, all the teachers and guidance counselors were asking us seniors what we wanted to major in? What career we wanted to pursue? I remember having dreams of what my life would be like. I knew the field I wanted to work in. I knew I wanted a nice house, a husband, children…stuff like that.”

  “Nah,” Everson chuckled. “I didn’t think about it like that, and I don’t know. Maybe most men don’t. Maybe that’s a woman thing. Still, I think my life is exactly the way it should be.”

  “Seriously?” she asked, eyes squinting slightly.

  “Yeah. Seriously.”

  “And you have no regrets?”

  After sipping wine, he said, “I didn’t say that, but I think it’s important that we appreciate where we are in life right now instead of dwelling on what could’ve been. How can you ever be happy if you’re living with regrets?”

  She smiled. “That’s a good question, Everson Blackstone.” Eliana picked up her wine glass and took a half sip.

  “What do you regret, Eliana?” Everson asked, and he regretted that he asked her that particular question.

  “The night isn’t long enough for me to expand on my regrets,” she said smiling, dodging his question. How could she tell him she regretted not coming to look for him after she finished college? “What I will say is, if I could do some things over, I would jump at the chance.”

  “I think we all would jump at an opportunity like that. But, unfortunately, we don’t get do-overs. In life, we write in ink, not pencil.”

  “That’s one way of looking at it.” Eliana took a gulp of wine this time, foregoing the prissy sips she took earlier when she was trying hard to impress him.

  When the food arrived, she took the crab cracker and cracked open the shell, then used the long-stemmed fork to scrape the meat from it. “Mmm…sooo good. I could move here just to have access to these at least once a week.”

  “Don’t tell me you can’t find good crab legs in the ‘A’. Come on, now.”

  “We have some good spots, but not like this. This, right here, is the real deal.”

  Everson sprinkled salt and pepper on his baked potato. “Okay, let me try them because you look like you’re in crab heaven over there.”

  “I am,” she mumbled. “I’m usually not a sloppy eater, but all bets are off tonight.”

  Everson raised a brow. “Did you just say you weren’t a sloppy eater because I can vividly recall you murdering those school lunches, especially on pizza day. You went in.”

  She laughed harder. Remembering. “Tell me that high school pizza wasn’t the bomb.”

  “I’m not gon’ lie. It was good.” Everson cracked open another crab leg and dipped the meat in butter. “I’ll admit…these crab legs are some of the best I’ve had. I see what you mean now.”

  “Un-huh. See. Now, you’re under the spell.”

  They ate quietly for a few moments. Everson glanced around the restaurant before returning his attention to Eliana, watching her eat. Amused, he said, “You need to come up for air soon. You’re drooling butter and everything.”

  “Ugh,” she said reaching for a napkin. “Don’t look at me, Everson. I’m so disgusted with myself.”

  “No need to apologize, woman. I know how you are. I see nothing’s changed in that department.”

  Eliana placed the napkin on the table and looked up at him. “Did I get it all?”

  “Yeah,” Everson said after his eyes zoomed in on her mouth. “You got it. Now, breathe…pace yourself.” He chuckled.

  Eliana dipped more crab meat in the butter.

  “I asked earlier, but you didn’t answer before, so I’ll pry once more,” Everson said. “What things do you regret?”

  “Huh?” she asked, looking up causing several strands of her hair to slip from behind her ear and drape her face instead. “You want to know what I regret?”

  “Yes. Tell me.”

  “I—” she paused and pulled in a breath. “I regret not staying in contact with you after my family moved to Arizona.”

  Everson nodded. “I’ll admit…I could’ve tried harder. It was just easier to let you go, I think.”

  “Why?” she asked, irritated by his admission.

  “Because I wanted you there. I didn’t want to maintain a long distance relationship with you, Eliana. I’m a hands-on guy. I need to touch, feel…I can talk all day, but do you know how empty it left me when I couldn’t put my arms around you or kiss you at the end of our conversations? It was like torture to me.”

  “So, your solution was to stop trying?” she asked, irritation disturbing her face.

  “Yes, and I’m sorry. If I could do it over again, maybe I would’ve tried harder. No, I would’ve tried harder. I really did love you, but that’s all in the past. We’ve both moved on.”

  “I haven’t.”

  Everson quirked up a brow. “You haven’t what?”

  “Moved on. I can’t move on.”

  Everson frowned, looking at her, having a hard time understanding. “Eliana…” He sighed. “We’ve already talked about this.”

  “Yes, and it must be a real issue for me if I’m still bringing it up.”

  “But why? Why is it that, after all this time, it’s hard for you to get over a high school relationship that was probably destined to fail in the first place? No one really knows what love is in high school.”

  Frowning, she asked, “So, you really didn’t love me?”

  “At the time, I did. But I’m not that person anymore, Eliana.”

  “That’s interesting because you look like that person and so does my son.” Eliana pushed away from the table in dramatic, Lifetime-movie fashion and said, “I’ll take an Uber back to the hotel.”

  “Wait,” Everson said with a twisted face, his stomach in a ball of knots. Had he heard her correctly? He took a hundred-dollar bill from his wallet, left it on the table and went after her. “Elly, wait.”

  Elly…

  He made it a point to stick to her first name and avoid the use of the nickname he used to call her back in the day. Nicknames were more personal. Intimate, even, and he’d let it slip, probably because of what she’d said. About a son.

  He saw her pass through the exit so he quickened his pace to catch up to her. When he did, he touched her arm, prompting her to look at him.

  Tears slid down Eliana’s face while her lips trembled.

  “What are you saying to me?” he asked, his voice softer.

  “Nothing,” she said, her voice trembling. “Forget I said anything.”

  “No, Elly. What are saying to me?”

  “I said, it’s nothing, Everson.” She fiddled around with her cell phone, trying to pull up the ride-share app.

  Frustrated, Everson grabbed the phone out of her hand. “Talk to me.”

  “I tried to talk to you. Every time I express how I feel, you make me feel like I’m odd…like something is wrong with me because I still have feelings for you.” Eliana rubbed tears away from her face.

  “That’s not how I’m trying to make you feel, Elly but you have to understand—”

  “No. I understand completely. What happened between us is over. I get that. I guess I was just holding out hope that maybe, by some odd coincidence, you would still be single, but when I saw you—when our eyes connected again for the first time in fourteen years—I knew you weren’t single. You’re too fine to be single. You’re still the handsome guy you’ve always been. It was foolish of me to dream that the man I loved all
those years ago would still want me. But I did—I dreamed—and circumstances didn’t work out in my favor, just like they didn’t work out back then. I shouldn’t have come here and I’m ready to leave, so can I please have my phone back?”

  “No, and you won’t get it back until you tell me what’s going on.”

  “Fine, then. Keep it,” Eliana said, attempting to flag down a taxi.

  “Eliana, wait—”

  “No. There’s nothing to wait for.”

  “There is. You said, son. You alluded to a son who looked like me. What does that mean, Eliana?”

  “It means nothing like it always meant. Not. A. Thing! Give me my phone,” she snapped, successfully flagging down a taxi this time. She snatched her phone out of Everson’s hand. “Goodbye, Everson.”

  Everson frowned, incensed. The conversation was far from over if that’s what she thought. Maybe she’d forgotten they were at the same hotel, and if need be, he would knock her door off the hinges to get the answers he was seeking.

  Chapter 5

  At the hotel, Everson hopped the elevator and took long, direct strides to Eliana’s room. He raced there so quickly, he wasn’t sure if he’d arrived before she did or not. All he knew was, he needed answers.

  With a balled-up fist, he banged on the door. “Eliana, are you in there?” Impatiently, he paced the area right in front of her room before knocking again. “Eliana!”

  “Why are you here, Everson?”

  He turned to the sound of her voice, watching her walk his way. Apparently, he had arrived before her, a testament to his resolve to figure out what she meant at dinner.

  Agitated, he looked at her tear-stained face, staring into her eyes when he said, “You alluded to a son who looked like me. I want to know what that means.”

  “It doesn’t mean anything.”

  His eyes narrowed to slits. “Are you playing games with me?”

  She swiped the keycard to her room and pushed the door open when she heard the release of the lock. “No. You’re the one playing games, Everson. Why did you even come here if you weren’t willing to try, just a little, to see if we could be something?” She went inside of her room.