The Things Everson Lost

by Tina Martin

  He invited himself in behind her. “I’m married!”

  “Yeah. You’re married. Yet, you’re here! In my room!” Eliana tossed her purse to the executive chair that sat at a small, wooden desk in the room. After stepping out of her shoes, she sat on the bed. She looked up at him. He was standing near the door – the man she used to love – and in many ways, she still loved him. She couldn’t help but love him. After all, he was the spitting image of her only child.

  Her fourteen-year-old-son.

  Jaxson.

  For years, she’d kept Jaxson a secret from him and she’d planned on keeping it forever. But when they reconnected a month ago and had spent so much time together talking about the past, the emotions that stirred inside of her wanted him to know that they’d made a child together all those years ago.

  Now, she wasn’t sure if she could tell him or not. It was obvious he didn’t want her. He’d married and moved on. What was the use of letting him know about Jaxson? She didn’t need Everson around playing daddy, making up for lost time while wrecking her life even further. And she especially didn’t need him around if she couldn’t have him. If he would only visit for Jaxson’s sake. Thinking about the torture alone was too much to bear.

  Then she thought about Jaxson. He looked like his father’s twin and had always inquired about his father. And those inquiries seemed to be more frequent now that he was older. She owed it to Jaxson to produce a father for him, even though it was fourteen years too late.

  She looked up at Everson again. Saw the concern in his eyes. “Everson, you have a son,” she said even-toned. She didn’t yell, didn’t put off any signs of belligerence.

  “What?” he asked, nearly unable to find a breath, not believing what he’d just heard.

  “You have a son,” she repeated. “When I moved away from North Carolina, I became a statistic—a teenage mother and—”

  “What did you say to me?” Everson asked, walking closer to the bed, standing in front of where she was sitting.

  “You have a son. His name is Jaxson and—”

  Shock quickly turned to anger as he felt his veins twitching in his arms. In his hands. Felt pressure pool at his temples. Felt his pulse beating in his ears. “I have a son?” he questioned, still in disbelief though he knew it was a possibility.

  Knowing he needed to see some proof, Eliana stood up, walked over to her purse and took out her wallet. There among the few pictures she kept in her purse – Jaxson’s baby picture and his kindergarten graduation picture – she had a recent one of him. She pulled the wallet-sized photo out of the plastic sleeve and handed it to Everson.

  He reached for it. Looked at it. Studied it. His son. There was no denying it. Besides Jaxson’s eyes, the boy looked just like him. His eyes were his mothers.

  Eyes flaming with fire, Everson looked at Eliana. “All these years, Elly. All these years and you’re telling me this now?”

  “I wanted to tell you then, but—”

  “But what? There’s no excuse for this. None!” he snapped, looking at her and back at the picture again. “My God! I have a son? A teenage son I don’t know?”

  His anger radiated outward in the form of heated words that singed her skin.

  “Why didn’t I know you were pregnant? Why didn’t you tell me any of this, Elly?”

  Successfully withholding tears, her voice crumbled when she said, “Like it would’ve made a difference. The situation was what it was. I moved away. My family moved away. I didn’t find out I was pregnant until after I moved, around the same time our conversations and phone calls were becoming more infrequent. That’s when I figured out you’d lost interest in me. According to your own admission tonight, I was right.”

  “That still doesn’t give you a free pass to play games with my life. I wouldn’t care if you’d move to Antarctica—I still have the right to know my child.”

  Eliana quietly reflected on his words – thinking about all those times she wanted to tell him. She couldn’t bring herself to do so, especially since she didn’t know how things would turn out for them had he known about Jaxson. What if she told him and he denied paternity? Or what if he didn’t deny paternity? What if he accepted Jaxson but wanted nothing to do with her? What if she told him and he wanted to come running to Arizona to be with her but only for Jaxson’s sake? She had too many unanswered questions. Too many worries. Too many concerns. It was much easier to keep this secret to herself. That is, until now.

  She connected her gaze to his furious one. “Well, now you know, Everson.”

  More anger blazed up in his eyes. “Now you know? Do you hear yourself? You kept my child a secret from me and you’re the one with the attitude?”

  “I raised Jaxson! For fourteen years, I was the only parent he knew. We didn’t need you. You were off living your life, doing your thing, chasing women…making a name for yourself – a not so good name when it came to morals – but I heard all about you and your business dealings. You were phenomenal in business. People respected you. You were the man to do business with. What time would you have had for a son, anyway? If anything, you should be thankful that I kept him out of your hair while you lived your life without the responsibility of raising a baby.”

  “If I knew you were pregnant, I would’ve been there for you and him. I didn’t know about the baby!”

  “And yet you never bothered to ask. You knew I wasn’t on birth control and you never offered to use protection. You had to have known that this was a possibility when I left Wilmington. You just never bothered to inquire about it.”

  Everson’s jaw tightened. “So, this is my fault. You’re trying to flip this around on me?”

  “I’m not flipping anything around, and I’m sick of talking about it. I didn’t want to tell you this and now I wish I hadn’t, but Jaxson’s asking about you—wants to know who you are and when I get back home, I’m finally going to tell him. You have a son, Everson. What you do from this point forward will be strictly up to you. If you want to do a paternity test—”

  His expression hardened. “Paternity test? The boy looks just like me!”

  “O-kaaay. Jeez.”

  His glare sharpened. “I have to get out of this room because you—”

  With the picture of his son in his hand, he left the room, slamming the door. Waiting for an elevator, he stared at the picture of the boy. His boy. His entire body stiffened when he thought about how he was going to tell June about this. Or was this another one of those things he had to keep a secret from her?

  Chapter 6

  A consistent undercurrent of rage flowed through him at the moment. He felt betrayed. Lied to. No wonder Eliana wanted to meet with him this weekend. What did she think? That she was going to spring the news of him having a child and they were going to run off into fields of lavender and enjoy the sunset together? He had a life. A wife. He had responsibilities and, first love or not, he was not responsible for Eliana or her unstated, broken heart. His wife took priority in his life, and now, the son he didn’t know he had would fall into second place.

  He thought about the boy – wondered if Jaxson had any of his traits or just his looks. How would Jaxson react meeting him for the first time? Did Jaxson want to meet him? Eliana had stated that Jaxson was asking about his father. Maybe that meant he would be open to having some kind of relationship with him. And how would he get to know Jaxson without Eliana being somewhere in the picture?

  He sighed heavily. Eliana still had feelings for him. He knew that before he showed up here. He discerned it when they’d shook hands a month ago. He could feel it in her touch, see it in her eyes and he was just as guilty as she was because the instant their gazes and hands touched, those old feelings crept back inside of him, too.

  And they’d made a baby together all those years ago.

  She was right. He hadn’t inquired about the possibility of her being pregnant although he knew they weren’t using protection of any kind. They were young and reckless, living in
a generation where they acted first and worried about the consequences later.

  For her, that meant struggling as a teenage mother to raise a son. She must have had a difficult time growing up along with her child – feeding him, bathing him, taking care of him while simultaneously going to college. Sure, she probably had the help of her parents, but ultimately, she was the one responsible for raising Jaxson.

  He wondered what Jaxson would think of him. He’d been absent from his life, and he knew nothing about his own child. Like was he into sports? Football, maybe? Did he get good grades, or was he one of those hardheaded, rebellious teenagers? Over the years, did he have role models in his life – strong, black men he could look up to?

  Speaking of role models…

  Everson’s role model was calling – his brother, Bryson. The oldest of the Blackstone siblings, he considered running all the new developments in his life by his brother. He could always count on Bryson’s straightforward advice anytime he needed it.

  “Hello?” Everson answered.

  “Hey, what’s up, Everson?”

  “Don’t tell me I promised to go somewhere with you this weekend, too.”

  Bryson grinned. “No, but I heard you flaked out on Gary. Did you talk to him yet?”

  “Nah. Not yet.”

  “Come on, Everson. You know he’s still struggling after Vivienne passed. If you make plans with him, keep ‘em. It ain’t easy getting a baby ready for an outing. Shoot, it ain’t easy getting a baby ready for anything.”

  Baby.

  Out of everything his brother had said, baby was the only word Everson heard and focused on. It didn’t dawn on him until now that he’d missed Jaxson’s baby years – his first words, watching him learn to hold a bottle, crawl and then take those crucial, first steps…

  “Yo. Everson?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Do you have bad reception in Atlanta or what?”

  “No, man. I heard everything you said. I just have a lot on my mind. That’s all.”

  “I see. A lot on your mind, huh? Would any of that include June?”

  Everson frowned. “What does that mean?”

  “Just what I said.”

  Incensed, Everson asked, “When have you ever had to check me on my wife?”

  “When your wife starts complaining to my wife that you’re always gone. Acting spacey. Excessively preoccupied with work. Thought I’d do the brotherly thing and call to see what was up. So, tell me—what’s up?”

  “Ain’t nothing up. I’m working.”

  “Not on a Sunday, you’re not. What’s up, Everson?”

  Everson’s frown deepened. He huffed out a sigh, glancing at Jaxson’s picture on the nightstand. He shook his head. Unbelievable.

  “Well?”

  Bryson always seemed to know when something was brewing with him. This time, though, he’d had a little help from Kalina. But even before Kalina was in the picture, when his life was in shambles, Bryson was still able to zoom in on issues with his siblings, especially with their sister, Candice. Now, his focus was on Everson.

  When Bryson realized Everson wasn’t quick to respond, he said, “Everson, do you remember when I confided in you about what Felicia did to me? How she cheated? Almost destroyed my life to the point that I said I didn’t want children, a legacy or love?”

  “I remember.”

  “Then you also remember what you said to me.”

  Everson smirked. “I said a lot.”

  “You told me I shouldn’t give up on love, life or wanting to have children because of what Felicia had done, and you were right. I wanted to give up, but I didn’t. Whether you know it or not, I took your words to heart, proof that when we talk to each other about our problems, it’s more than just listening. It’s helping, being there for one another. Now, I already know something’s up with you. I’ve noticed for the last few weeks or so that you can’t enjoy a family dinner without rushing out the door to take a call. You’re glued to your phone. Even at Calista and Barry’s anniversary party, you were rushing out the door on your phone.” Bryson paused. “June’s a good woman. I would hate to see you mess that up.”

  “I’m not messing anything up. I—” Everson went silent. If he was going to vent and confide in his brother, where would he begin? With the lie about being in Atlanta, spending time with another woman on the beach, or the revelation that he had a teenage son? Decisions, decisions.

  Actually, it didn’t matter where he began. The incidences were all equally damaging.

  “Um, okay,” Everson said. “I’m not really working this weekend.”

  “I already knew that which leads me to my next question. Why are you in Atlanta if you’re not working?”

  “I’m not in Atlanta.”

  “Then, what are you doing? Where are you?”

  “I’m in Myrtle Beach.”

  “Myrtle Beach? Jeez. I’m almost afraid to ask why.”

  “Don’t ask. I’ll just tell you before I lose the nerve.” Everson took a moment to get his bearings and said, “A month ago, I ran into Eliana Simmons.”

  “Eliana Simmons…” Bryson repeated. “Why do I know that name?”

  “She was my girlfriend from high school.”

  “Oh. Right. You used to call her Elly, or something.”

  “Yeah.”

  “She’s the one who moved away. I remember you being all torn up about it.”

  “Good memory. Anyway, a month ago, I had a contract job with a company called Seaton Data in Atlanta. Guess who works for Seaton?”

  “Eliana,” Bryson answered. He could already see where this was going.

  “Seeing her brought back memories, Bryce, good and bad. Still, I had to work with her for two weeks, and I’m not going to lie, man. It was all business at first then it evolved into dinners and us becoming more and more acquainted. Playing catch up. When those two weeks were over and my business with her company ended, we exchanged numbers.”

  “You gave her your number?”

  “Hear me out,” Everson told him. “Yes. I gave her my number. I wanted to talk to her…to continue playing catch up.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know. All I could think of at the time was that she was my first love and our relationship had ended abruptly. That wasn’t either of our faults, but we could control how this job situation ended. I didn’t want a sudden, abrupt ending a second time around.”

  Everson could hear Bryson’s sigh. He continued, “So we made plans to see each other this weekend. That’s why I’m in Myrtle Beach.”

  “So, let me get this straight. You left your home and lied to your wife in order to go frolicking off in Myrtle Beach with another woman?”

  “Sounds harsh when you put it like that, but yes.”

  Seemed the line went dead. Bryson was so beside himself, so disgusted, irritated and downright furious with his brother, he didn’t know what to say or how to say it. A moment later, he said, “Have you lost your freakin’ mind?”

  “Listening ear, Bryson. I don’t need judgments right now. I need you to listen.”

  “Screw a listening ear! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FREAKIN’ MIND?”

  Everson sighed. He expected a level of disappointment from Bryson, but he didn’t know he would completely flip out on him.

  “Do you hear yourself?” Bryson asked. “Your wife is at home worried, and you’re on the beach kickin’ it with an old flame? What the heck is wrong with you man? Have you slept with this girl?”

  “No. We were just hanging out.”

  “Hanging out? Everson, what do you think this is? You’re too young to be having a mid-life crisis, and even if you were, that’s no excuse to leave your wife to go hang out with another woman.”

  Everson rolled his eyes at the scolding. “If I thought you were going to get all irate and judgy, I would’ve kept this to myself.”

  “What did you expect me to say? You thought I was going to encourage you to stay there, get it out of your syst
em, whatever it is, and then come running home to June? I know how it feels to be cheated on. Maybe you don’t, but I do.”

  “First of all, I’m not cheating on June, okay. I’m not sleeping with Eliana.”

  “Oh, please. Don’t tell me you’ve fooled yourself into believing that what you’re doing doesn’t constitute as cheating. You are cheating, what you’re doing is wrong and, at some point, I hope your brain will kick in and tell you to get your butt back to your house.”

  Everson stood up from the bed and paced the floor, searching for some kind of justification for his actions. When he couldn’t find one, at least one he wanted to share with Bryson, he went on the defensive. “If I thought you would hammer me about this, Bryce, I would’ve just kept it to myself.”

  “What you’re doing is wrong. Plain and simple. I’m not going to give you a pass on this just because you’re my brother. Right is right and wrong is wrong, and this is wrong on so many levels. I don’t care how you try to spin it. What if the situation was reversed? What if June told you she was going out of town on business and later, you found out she wasn’t on business at all? In fact, she was on top of some man in a hotel room.”

  “I told you I didn’t sleep with Eliana.”

  “I’m giving you a scenario. What if June was doing exactly what you’re doing right now?”

  Everson considered what Bryson had said. He couldn’t imagine June ever doing what he currently was, which made him a hypocrite. If he could do it, why couldn’t she?

  “Well?” Bryson questioned.

  “June would never do anything like this,” Everson said.

  “I said what if. It was a hypothetical question. What if, June Blackstone, the woman who carries your name, was spending the weekend with an ex-boyfriend, sneaking around behind your back? How would you feel about it when you found out? Come on, Everson. Be real with yourself.”

  After sighing heavily, Everson said, “I would be upset. Hurt. I would feel betrayed.”