The Struggle

by Jennifer L. Armentrout

  mine intently. “And later tonight, when we go to sleep, it will be nothing like last night. Everything that we do, every decision that we make going forward, will change because of this.”

  I drew in a shallow breath, but it got stuck.

  “Nothing is just about us anymore. I don’t mean that there still can’t just be an us,” he said, threading his fingers through my hair. “But the big decisions, we can’t just think about us.”

  He was right, and I knew that. “When have we ever even gotten a chance to think about just us?”

  Seth opened his mouth, but then what could he say? I was right. We hadn’t had the chance to be selfish in our relationship. We probably wouldn’t for a long, long time.

  “And the world is not going to stop just because I’m pregnant. The Titans aren’t going to just call a time-out, and the gods? How long are they going to stay out of this and out of our lives once the Titans are taken care of?” I asked, squirming as my unease rose. “Nothing outside this room has ceased to exist, and it won’t. We still have to find Mitchell. We still have to take care of the Titans and anything else that comes our way. That hasn’t changed.”

  Seth’s eyes darkened to a chilled topaz. “But we will have to make some changes.”

  I raised a brow. “We?”

  “Yeah.” A grin softened the hard look. “Both of us. Probably in ways I don’t even know yet.”

  “Pregnant or not, I still have to help. I have to entomb the Titans,” I said quietly. “I know you don’t want to hear that, but you can’t just go and kill them all.”

  His lips pursed, and I could just tell he wanted to ask why not, but he didn’t. Seth didn’t say anything as he tipped my head back and kissed me.

  And those kisses turned deep, becoming something infinitely more, leaving me breathless and wanting. I ended up on my back and Seth’s wonderful, talented hands were between my legs and his tongue and his teeth replaced those devious fingers of his.

  Within moments I was lost to the touch and the taste that was all him. Our bodies were fused together and we were twisting and tangling. I was in his lap and then I was on my knees and his arm was pinned under my breasts.

  There was no rush this time, no scrabbling of hands and frantic thrusts, but this release, when it came, was no less powerful than the one before. But afterward, as we lay in each other arms, our bodies heated and damp, our breath mingling and hearts pounding, the questions lingered.

  How could I walk away from my duty?

  How could I put my—our—unborn child in danger?

  I didn’t know.

  I didn’t know if there was a right or wrong answer.

  But I knew I would have to choose.

  And I also knew I may not even have a choice.

  ~

  I dozed as Seth continued to make little designs with his fingers, this time across my stomach because I now lay on my other side, my bottom tucked into his hips. I woke every so often to the feel of his fingers dancing over my skin. I’d wiggle against him and was immediately rewarded with a kiss to my cheek or my neck. I don’t think he slept, but I was tired, so I drifted in and out.

  A feeling of . . . peace had seeped into my muscles, and while I lay in his strong arms, all those concerns from earlier retreated outside the room. It was just him and me and . . . the future we were making.

  But I still slipped into a dream.

  A nightmare.

  No longer in his arms, I was on the ground. Rough, broken asphalt dug into my palms and scraped my knees through the dirty, torn jeans. My hair hung in my face in thick clumps.

  I was back there, outside the warehouse, and I could feel him beside me, waiting and watching. My mouth opened but there was no sound. This isn’t real. This isn’t real. I kept repeating that over and over, because I knew, deep down, I wasn’t in that warehouse anymore. I just needed to wake up. I had to—

  My head was wrenched back. Panicked, my arms pinwheeled as I fell backward. My wide gaze swung over the trees, over the truck sitting by the garage bays. I landed on my ass. The bright sun was blotted out by a tall figure.

  Oh no, no, no.

  Jerking upright, I gasped for air as I threw my arm out. The beige walls came into focus, but I wasn’t seeing the walls. I didn’t feel the bed under my naked skin or Seth beside me.

  Part of me was still back at the warehouse, outside in the almost empty parking lot. There was something there—something I saw, something I needed to see again.

  “Josie.” Seth was sitting up, holding onto my arm. “You okay?”

  I still saw the thick trees ahead of me. I could feel the hot sun beating down on my skin, the beads of sweat running down my face. I sucked in a shrill breath as pressure filled my chest and expanded. “I had a . . . I had a nightmare. I was back at the warehouse.”

  “Babe.” He scooted behind me as he wrapped an arm around my waist, hauling me back against his chest. The other circled me, and I was in his arms, far away from that place of hell. “You’re safe.” He kissed my temple. “You’re never going to have to experience anything like that again.”

  Leaning into him, I closed my eyes. “There was something I saw while there. I know it. Something outside—” I saw the woods again, the tall, never-ending trees. The needles on the ground. The cracked pavement and the box truck . . .”Oh my gods.”

  “Josie?”

  Pulling away from him, I twisted around. I climbed onto my knees, grasping his shoulders. I didn’t even care that I was naked. “I remember something!”

  “What?” His gaze dropped to my chest, because, well, he was Seth.

  “Pay attention.” I shook him.

  A playful grin appeared. “Sorry. You’re fucking gorgeous and I really—”

  “Focus.” I smacked his shoulders. “I saw something outside the warehouse. I can’t believe I didn’t remember it until now. But there was some kind of truck outside—a box or delivery truck. It had a name written on the side of it. MILLS AND SONS. If the truck belonged to that warehouse . . .”

  Understanding flashed across Seth’s face. “Then we have a way to find the warehouse.”

  Chapter 32

  Seth

  As Josie took a shower, I changed into a pair of tactical pants that had been left behind and pulled on a shirt. Walking away from the bathroom and not joining her literally took every ounce of free will I had in me.

  I wanted nothing more than a round three and four and ten with her, but I needed to fill Aiden in on what Josie had remembered, and she needed to get some food in her. So I had done the responsible thing, showered first and left Josie to hers.

  Hair still wet, I pushed it back out of my face and walked into the small sitting room. Halfway through, I came to a complete stop as my stomach did a drop, like it hit my feet.

  Josie was pregnant.

  Lifting my gaze to the ceiling, I was rooted to the floor. Ever since she’d told me, those three words floated in and out of my thoughts on an endless cycle, and each time it was like the first time hearing it.

  There was a rush of emotions—the happiness blew my mind. Like I’d said to Josie, I’d never even thought about having kids, to be honest, so it wasn’t like I didn’t want them. It just wasn’t a thing. Never in a hundred years would I have thought I’d actually be happy about that, but I was. I was fucking thrilled.

  I was fucking blessed.

  But gods, what I felt almost knocked me on my ass again. Closing my eyes, I exhaled roughly as I leaned over, pressing my palms into my thighs.

  I was never a praying man.

  I didn’t believe the gods answered prayers. Knew for a fucking fact that they didn’t care enough to do so, but in that moment, I wanted to pray. I want to pray that this was real, that this was really happening.

  It seemed too good, too beautiful.

  Gods, it didn’t seem like I’d deserve not only Josie but a child as well.

  And that was terrifying for a whole shit-ton of reasons.


  Because there was fear. Fear that something would happen to her, happen to the baby—to both of them. Fear that I would somehow fuck up, because I had no idea how to do the whole parenting thing.

  Not to mention I was seriously probably the last person on this earth anyone would trust a small child with. Less than an hour before I found out I was going to be a father, I sort of melted a guy from the inside out, so . . .

  But that was my baby, in my girl.

  That changed everything in a manner of seconds.

  Straightening, I let out a shaky laugh and found myself smiling at . . . at fucking nothing.

  I need to get my shit together.

  One way to avoid fucking this up was making the world safe for Josie and for our child.

  Walking out of the room, I looked down the hall, and a totally different smile appeared. Sensing out Aiden, I zeroed in on his presence. A heartbeat later, I was in another sitting area, in a room several doors down.

  “Hello,” I said.

  Aiden flew up from where he was sitting on the couch.

  “Dammit!” Alex shrieked as she nearly slid off the arm of the couch. “Oh my gods! Now you’re going to do that too?”

  “Not cool.” Aiden’s eyes were like thunderclouds. “Not cool.”

  “I thought it was pretty cool.”

  Alex gaped at me, and then she spun around, picked up a small throw pillow, and threw it at me.

  I snatched the pillow out of the air and tossed it back to the couch. “I hope I wasn’t interrupting.”

  “We were just talking,” Alex answered, glaring at me. “If not, you’d be missing two eyeballs.”

  “That’s not the only thing he’d be missing,” Aiden muttered.

  I winked at him. “I’m actually here with some important news. Josie remembered something about the warehouse.”

  “And here I thought you were just popping in because you missed us.” Alex sat back down on the couch. “What did she remember?”

  “She saw a delivery truck of some sort outside the warehouse where she was kept,” I told them. “She remembered that the truck had writing on it. MILLS AND SON.”

  “Hell. That’s big. If that truck belonged to the warehouse, we should be able to look it up.” Aiden glanced around the room, frowning. “I’ll grab Deacon’s laptop and see what I can find.”

  “Let me know.”

  “If it turns out to be the place, are you leaving right away?” he asked.

  Odd question. “Gods know if Josie finds out, she’s going to want all of us to go there, but I need to get some food in her and . . . and yeah. We’ll see what happens from there.”

  Aiden eyed me as he nodded. “Sounds good.”

  I started to say something, but my gaze slid to Alex. She was staring at the wall over my shoulder, her lips pressed together and her cheeks expanded like a puffer fish. My eyes narrowed. Her gaze flickered to me and then quickly darted away.

  Sighing heavily, I folded my arms. “Something you want to say, Alex?”

  Oddly mute, she shook her head.

  “Really?”

  Gaze still trained on the wall, she nodded.

  I looked over at Aiden. What was the likelihood of her not saying something to him? Probably somewhere around next to impossible.

  Aiden dropped his gaze, and then I saw it—the twitch of his lips as if he was trying not to smile.

  “You told him,” I stated.

  The air Alex was holding in her mouth popped out as her gaze swung around to mine. “I didn’t mean to! I just sort of blurted it out, but it’s Aiden. I had to tell Aiden.”

  “She had to tell me,” he agreed.

  Actually, she didn’t.

  “I will not tell anyone else. I swear, and I do feel bad for saying something to Aiden, because I told Josie I wouldn’t. I hope she’s not mad at me.” Alex squirmed on the couch, her forehead creased. “I’m sorry for saying something, but . . .”

  I couldn’t find an ounce of anger in me. And then it hit me with the force of a hurricane. I wanted people to know. What the hell? I didn’t even know what to do with that.

  “But you’re . . . you’re going to be a father,” she finished in a whisper that sounded so awed.

  I blinked slowly, unfolding my arms. “Yeah. Yeah, I am.”

  Alex clasped her hands together. “I am made of questions right now.”

  “You and me both,” I replied dryly.

  “Are you . . . are you happy—?”

  “I’m fucking thrilled,” I cut in, and then I sat down in the chair. “I’m shocked.” My gaze flitted from Alex to Aiden. “I’d never been more shocked in my life. I actually fell flat on my ass when she told me.” I felt warmth hit my cheeks. “It’s . . . it’s crazy timing with everything going on. But how could I not be happy? I love Josie. I already . . . I already love this child.”

  Alex’s smile raced across her face. “I think I might cry.”

  “Please don’t,” I said, glancing at Aiden.

  Staring at the floor, he dragged his hands down his face. I tensed. Every muscle locking up as I waited for Aiden to go into a lecture about how I needed to really think about things, be a better person. Like, “stop melting people” kind of shit and wanting to kill the Titans.

  Alex leaned into him, placing her hand on his leg. For a moment I didn’t get it. Then I remembered. Fuck. I’d forgotten. Alex had once believed she’d been pregnant and, knowing Aiden, knowing how I felt upon hearing the news, he would’ve felt like me.

  Holy shit.

  Alex hadn’t been pregnant. It had been Ares’s doing. He had his sons invade her to mess with her head. I hadn’t known he’d planned to do that, but that didn’t change a damn thing in the end.

  I couldn’t even imagine how I’d feel if that turned out to be the case after feeling all of this.

  I couldn’t even imagine what he was feeling—what Alex was feeling.

  “I’m sorry,” I said roughly.

  Aiden’s chin jerked up. Our gazes met, and he knew. Yeah, he knew what I was apologizing for. His throat worked on a hard swallow.

  Beside him, Alex cleared her throat. “I really am happy for you, Seth. I know it’s crazy timing and you weren’t planning for this, but you’re happy with it, and so is Josie, and that’s all that matters.”

  But it really wasn’t all that mattered, because what Josie had said earlier was right. The world wasn’t going to stop turning. Not at all.

  “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you’re going to do good.” Aiden smiled slightly as he nodded like he just realized he’d agreed with himself. “You’re going to do more than good, Seth.”

  I stared at him, unsure if he was having some kind of medical emergency.

  “He’s right. That kid will want for nothing.” Alex leaned back, her lips pursed. “Wait. Does this mean your kid is a god? I have no idea. I need to find some books on this.”

  “Not sure if there are books on this, Alex.” Aiden turned his grin on her.

  “All right,” I said, standing. “This convo is over.”

  Aiden rose. “We really are happy for you, Seth. I still want to punch you in the throat, but I am happy for you.”

  “Uh-huh.” So, knocked off-kilter by their words, I actually walked out of the door instead of taking the cool way out.

  ~

  After ensuring Josie about a hundred times that Aiden was