Cross My Heart

by Jaime Russell

  “Guys, I’m going to the hotel. I need to be with her. I have to be with her.” Wes doesn’t say a word, as he tosses me the keys to the range rover, since my truck is blocked by the work truck.

  I start to make my way back to the hotel, but I stop off at the corner flower store first. I walk in and hear the bell over the door ring. “I’ll be right with you,” someone yells from the back. I start to look around because I’m not sure what flowers to get for her. There are several types, colors, and smells. I sneeze after smelling one, and I know I’m not giving her that one. Finally, I see a cooler, and purple catches my eye.

  “Sorry about that. How can I help you?” I turn, seeing a brunette standing before me. “Rhett?” she says in a surprised tone.

  “Yes, that’s me. I was wondering if I could get a dozen of these purple and white ones?” I point to the cooler, and the brown-haired girl rolls her eyes and walks past me.

  “Are you talking about the calla lilies?”

  “Yes, ma’am. Thank you.” I walk over to the register to wait, while she puts them together in a nice bouquet. As I’m standing there, I start looking at the pictures on the wall, and I see me in a tux. It was my senior prom, and I was with my high school sweetheart, Katy. I swallow hard. “Katy.” I smile, when she returns to the table.

  “You do remember me then,” she states, staring at me with no emotion in her eyes at all.

  “I didn’t at first. You look all grown up, since I last saw you at my graduation party.”

  “Oh, the night where you took my virginity, and then dumped me?”

  “That’s not how it went down, and you know it. Your dad broke us up, not me. He’s the one that told you that it was either your trust fund or me, and you chose the money.” Katy just rolls her eyes at me. She’s the type that always likes to play the victim, and the guy is the one always leaving her.

  “Is this everything?” She spits out, seeming annoyed with me.

  “Yes, it is. How much do I owe you?” A noise from the back catches my attention.

  “Mommy, the video is over.” A beautiful, young girl, who looks about seven, walks out, and she’s the spitting image of my sister, Savannah. “Hi,” she says, hiding behind her mom, and I smile at her. Katy looks to me, and then back to the little girl.

  “Emma, why don’t you go back into my office, while I finish with this customer, and then I’ll put on another movie while Mommy finishes up for the night?” The little girl nods, and then runs back to the office.

  “Rhett, let me explain, please,” Katy states, coming around the counter, and I can feel my blood boiling inside me.

  “I’m pretty sure there is no explanation. I haven’t moved, and I live in the same bedroom that she was conceived in.” Katy goes to open her mouth, but I stop her. “Don’t even try to tell me that she isn’t mine because she looks so much like Savannah.”

  “She’s yours. I didn’t know how to tell you, so my parents and I decided that I would tell people that the father was someone I met, while on my graduation trip to Europe.”

  “I can’t believe you. Your dad always looked down on me, because we didn’t have money like you, but at least we have our morals.” I grab my flowers, and then throw a fifty on the counter. “Don’t leave town, and my lawyer will be in contact.”

  “Rhett, please can we talk about this?”

  “It’s eight years too late for that, Katy.” I walk out of the flower shop, hop into the truck, and then punch the steering wheel. I rest my head back, as I toss the flowers onto the passenger side seat. I don’t know what to do now. I really didn’t see this shit coming.

  I crank the truck and start driving. I get lost in the time, as I find myself at the cemetery.

  I’ve come here through the years to seek guidance. I sit down in front of the headstone of my parents.

  “Hey Dad. Hey Ma. So, I know I haven’t been here in a while, but some things have changed. Quinn’s married to a great guy. We give him shit, but he treats her good, which is what she needed, after giving up so much for us. I also met the one. I know, can you believe I said that? I knew the minute that I looked into her eyes, and as luck would have it, she’s our new cook.” I smile, thinking about Charlie. “Ma, you would’ve loved her. She doesn’t take any bull from us boys, which is good, because we give it to her and her friends. The ranch is doing okay, and I’m hoping that we can get some repairs done, before the summer season starts.”

  I stop for a minute, running my hand down my face. “I’m so confused, Ma. Do you remember me coming to talk to you about Katy? Her dad never approved of me and made us break up. Come to find out, I’m a dad to a beautiful, little girl named Emma. What do I do? I told her that I’m contacting a lawyer. I also want to tell Charlie, but I don’t want her to leave me, before we start something magical, but I also don’t want to keep it from her.” I sit in silence for a little bit, when my phone starts to ring, and it’s Charlie. How ironic.

  “I was just talking about you.” I smile.

  “All good things I hope.” She giggles.

  “Of course. What’s up?”

  “I want you to come over. I miss you.” I look back to the headstone, as I sigh in relief. She knew I needed her right now.

  “On my way.” I hang up with her, head to the vehicle, and drive over to her hotel. I pull into the parking lot, grabbing Charlie’s flowers and feeling at peace with the decision not to tell her about Emma, at least not right now. I did a lot of thinking on my way over, and I don’t want to complicate things right now. We’ve never even discussed kids, and I don’t know if she likes them. Do I even want kids? These thoughts run through my head, as I ride the elevator up to Charlie’s floor. As I’m standing in front of her hotel door, getting ready to knock, my text alert goes off.

  Unknown number: We need to talk about Emma. Please don’t contact any lawyers yet. Don’t tell anyone about her. Not even your brothers.

  Me: And why shouldn’t I?

  Unknown number: You loved me once, so just trust me.

  Me: That trust is gone, but I’ll think about it.

  I shut down my phone and knock on Charlie’s door. “Special delivery,” I say, as I hide my face behind the bouquet.

  “Oh, my God. Those are beautiful, and all for me?” I hand them to her, as she jumps into arms and kisses me. “I love them. Thank you.” Kiss on the cheek. “Thank you.” Kiss on my forehead. “Thank you.” Kiss on the top of my head. I laugh, as I carry her into the room and toss her onto the bed.

  “So, you missed me, huh?”

  “Yes, I did, but I missed more than just your body,” she says, kissing my neck. “I miss…missssed being able to talk to you,” she stutters, and I laugh aloud.

  “You are such a liar. You’re struggling to find the words.” We laugh, as I pin her down. “I don’t know if I like this. You are calling me over whenever you want just for sex. I’m more than just a boy toy you know. I have feelings, too.” Charlie raises her eyebrow, as I pull my shirt from out of my jeans and over my head, tossing it onto the floor.

  “Actually, I did call you for a reason,” she tells me all distracted, as she licks her lips, while I start undoing my belt buckle. I stop at the button of my jeans to stare at her. I notice that her blue eyes are glazed over, and she’s staring at my crotch. I clear my throat three times before she notices, bringing her attention back to me. “Sorry you’re very distracting. I wanted you to come over to stay the night and no sex.”

  “Wait, no sex? Why?” I get off of her and sit back on the dresser, where the television is sitting.

  “We’ve done nothing but have sex, and I thought that we could get to know each other better. I mean, we’re going to be working together and living near each other, so shouldn’t we talk?” I just want to have sex, especially after being so pissed off, after my run in with Katy.

  “Okay.” I go to bend down to get my shirt, but she climbs off the bed, taking it from me. She takes off her tank top, exposing her naked breast
s, putting my shirt on. Seeing her wearing my shirt, is making me hard, especially seeing her remove her underwear. “So, no sex, but you do that? You’re not playing fair.”

  “I figured that if you spend some time doing what I want then I’ll let you take full advantage of me,” Charlie seductively tells me, as she kisses me. All the stress leaves my body, but the guilt is there, because I need to talk to Katy first.

  “Sounds good, but I can’t take advantage of you. You’re too willing.”

  “True. I ordered some junk food, before I called you, so we can eat, talk, and make out.” Before I can say anything, there’s a knock on the door, and Charlie starts to walk towards it.

  “No, get under the covers, because that pussy and ass are mine. No one sees them but me.” I smack her on the ass as she jumps onto the bed. She crawls her way to the far side of the king size bed, giving me the view that I want so bad. I wait until she’s covered up, and I open the door. I sign the bill and tip the waiter. “Thanks man.” I close the door, push in the cart, remove my jeans and boots, and then hop onto the bed with my girl.

  Charlie

  “Oh, my God, stop. My sides hurt.” I double over, as Rhett lets gummy worms hang from his teeth, doing Dracula impersonations that he did when he was younger. “I would’ve loved to know you, when you were younger. I bet our parents would’ve separated us so many times.”

  “Probably. You were quite the troublemaker in school. Okay so, we covered elementary, junior high, so now, we’re going to begin with high school.” Rhett yawns, and I look to see the clock, saying it’s almost two a.m.

  “Do you want to get some sleep? We have to get up in four hours,” I ask him.

  “Yeah, let’s get some sleep, but tomorrow night, we finish this talk. I’ve enjoyed talking to you.”

  “Really? I thought you’d be pissed about not getting laid.” I get out of bed, gathering up the dishes of the sundae, all the toppings, popcorn, cheese fries, and gummy worms to put out on the cart in the hallway.

  “Hey, we’re new.” Rhett meets me at the door and pushes it closed with my back. His right hand landing above my hip bone, as he tightens his grip. “I love talking to you. We have this electrifying connection in bed, but I want to know what makes you happy, sad, mad, and laugh. If you’re crying, I want to know what I can do to fix it. We need nights like this, and I hope we can continue doing nights like this, too. We will have sex, too, because I’m permanently hard, knowing that I can touch you whenever I want.”

  “Whenever you want, huh? Do I have a say in this?” He doesn’t say a word as he leans in to kiss me. This kiss isn’t rushed, hard, or one of demands, but it’s one of pure tenderness. He picks me up like a groom carries his bride over the threshold on their wedding night and he lays me in the middle of the bed, as he lays on top of me, continuing to kiss me senseless. I run my hands up and down his back, enjoying the feel of him, as he flexes under my touch. I moan as his hand moves up my side and under his shirt.

  “I want you so bad right now.”

  “I’m here for the taking,” I whisper.

  “No, not until we have a real first date,” he tells me. “I want you to know that this isn’t just about sex, Charlie. I’m all in with you.”

  “I didn’t think it was just sex, but thank you so much for reassuring me.” I completely lie to him. I do think that I’m just a booty call for him, until someone better comes around.

  “This weekend, I’m yours. From sunup to sundown,” he tells me, and I smile.

  “I would like that very much, but let's ease into that much togetherness. I’m a joy to be around, but I do get cranky, too.”

  “We will worry about that later. Good night, sweets. Now, let’s start our night with you in my arms.” I do as I’m told and climb under the blankets with him, as he plays with my hair, while I fall asleep.

  ******

  I sleep so sound that I groan as my alarm starts going off. I move around in the bed, but Rhett is not there. Plus, I’m completely naked.

  “Did he seriously leave?” I mumble, as I get up and start to walk towards the shower. I start running the hot water, since I know that Maddie will be here soon, so I can get to work. I step into the shower and scrub my skin because I’m so pissed off right now.

  I try not to jump to conclusions, but of course, everything bad is running through my head. “He was just saying those sweet words to me last night. What if he realized he made a mistake about me? What if he has a girlfriend here? What if he doesn’t actually want to be with me?” All of this is running through my mind, as I finish my shower, get out, and dry off.

  I look around for my jean shorts and green shirt and finally finding them, I dress quickly, throwing my hair into a ponytail. I don’t wear makeup, when I’m cooking, so there is no need to waste time on that. There’s a knock on the door, as I’m putting on my shoes. “Almost ready, Mads. I just need to grab my wallet, keys, and cell phone.”

  “Take your time.” The deep, southern drawl makes me smile. “I went to get coffee, but I wasn’t sure what you put in it, because we didn’t get that far in the conversation last night,” Rhett says, handing me a coffee with a lot of sugar packets and creamers, and I can’t help but smile.

  “I thought you left me,” I whisper.

  “Nope. You were sleeping so cute, and I didn’t want to wake you, but we should get going.”

  “Wait,” I say, grabbing his arm. I kiss him with as much power as I can muster, and he lifts me up, setting me on the table. I moan into his mouth, as his tongue pushes its way in. “Good morning.”

  “Now, this is how I like to be greeted.” After a few more minutes of kissing, we break apart, as Rhett helps me off the table. We walk out of my room and the hotel hand in hand. Once we’re in the range rover, there’s an awkward silence. It’s like he completely shuts down. He’s now mumbling to himself almost like he’s having a debate with his conscience.

  “It’s going to be nice that I’ll be near the kitchen, instead of so far away,” I say, trying to break the silence. He doesn’t say anything, so I just look out the window, watching the scenery. This area is so beautiful. I’ll have to ask Macy about going exploring with me. We pull into the driveway of the ranch, and Rhett stops the truck near the back of the house. “Okay well, I’ll see you later.” I don’t let him speak, as I get out of the truck and head to my office.

  “Good morning, Karen.” I smile at her.

  “Hello, dear. How are you settling in?”

  “We’re still at the hotel, but I’m hoping to move some stuff in, starting tonight. We want to start making it our home. What would you like for breakfast?”

  “I believe Wes asked for pancakes, sausage, bacon, and eggs,” she laughs.

  “Where do they put all that food?” I laugh, as I head to the industrial, size refrigerator. “Karen, do you think that we could go over a meal plan and grocery list for the next week or two in between meals?”

  “I would like that. Thank you.” She leaves me, as she hears her name being called, and I walk into the kitchen, turning on the radio to listen to the news and music, so I can start breakfast.

  Once I’m in the zone, I lose myself in cooking. Once I start serving breakfast, I don’t even pay attention to the fact that Rhett hasn’t been by to see me until after the mess hall is quiet, and I’m cleaning up. Oh well, I can’t stress. I have things to do, and I need to find Karen. After breakfast, she told me that she’ll be in the garden.

  I look around, finding a baseball cap with The Livingston Ranch logo on it, so I can walk out into the sun since I forgot my shades. I’m walking around the ranch, as I take in the beauty of it all. The mountains in the distance, and the horses running in their pen. Their manes are flowing without a care in the world, and I stop just to admire them.

  “Beautiful creatures, aren’t they?” Wes says, coming up behind me, and I jump. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  “It’s okay. I was just admiring them,” I
smile.

  “My favorite thing here is working with the horses. If you want, I can give you some riding lessons.” I immediately hug him tight, thanking him repeatedly. “We’ll start after you get moved in.”

  “Charlotte, are you coming to see me?” Karen speaks over the walkie talkie.

  “Yes, ma’am. On my way.” I say goodbye to Wes and head over to the garden. It must be the size of a football field with corn, beans, peas, pumpkins, watermelon, grapes, onions, carrots, tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce, and so much more. “I think I’ve died and gone to heaven,” I say out loud, and I’m greeted with a chuckle.

  “The last chef hated coming out here,” Karen states, coming to stand next to me as she wipes her forehead. “I don’t work the fields, but Rhett took today off for personal reasons, so we’re scrambling to get the work done.”

  “What can I do to help?” If I’m honest with myself, hearing that he isn’t here stings a little bit, because he didn’t say anything to me, and we were together all last night.

  She gives me the list of veggies that she needs me to check on and remove from the garden, if they’re ready. I get lost in the work, until my phone starts going off, letting me know it’s time to prepare lunch. I grab the makings to make a fresh salad for the guys for dinner tonight, and then head to the house. I want to put this in the house fridge, so no one touches it, so I head inside.

  “Katy, I had to run back to my house to get some pictures. I’ll be there soon. I know. I promised I’d be there, and I don’t break my promises. Just breathe. I’m not going to fuck it up.” I overhear Rhett on the phone as he walks into the home office. Who is Katy, and do I confront him about her?

  I hear him coming back down the stairs, so I make it seem like I just came in as he’s still on the phone. “Hey, let me call you back, when I get in the truck.” He quickly puts the phone away. “Well, hello beautiful.” He smiles at me, as he leans in to kiss me on the cheek.