All I Need

by Jennifer Van Wyk

  “Can I be honest with you about something?”

  “I’d prefer you lie to me, but go ahead.”

  I chuckle at her sassiness. “Miss Polly is the one who suggested I offer you the job. It’s not that she doesn’t want you around—so don’t even jump to that conclusion. I think she wants you around and if you have a job, it’s more likely that you’ll stay.”

  “She’s sweet. Honestly, I’ve never really felt as at home as I have here.”

  We share a smile. I stand up and move the chair she was sitting in earlier so it’s facing me. Then I settle back in, propping my feet up on the chair cushion, stretching out my legs, hands linked together behind my head.

  “Comfy?”

  “Mm hmm,” I hum. The corner of her mouth twitches then I watch as her smile fades with my next words.

  ”Linda has been talking about retirement for a few years but then her husband became ill. Her place right now is with him.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that.” Her words come out just above a whisper.

  I move my hands to rest on my stomach. She asked if I was comfortable but truth is, she’s making me anything but. Just her presence is making me antsy. I don’t know what to do with myself because everything in me is telling me to take her in my arms and kiss her breathless. Find out everything there is to know about her. What’s her favorite color and food? How does she take her coffee—or is she a tea drinker? She told Miss Polly she has nowhere to go… where are her parents? And after learning all these things and more, maybe then I’d carry her to my pickup and drive her straight to my bed.

  “He’s strong and they’re both fighters,” I say, pulling myself out of the fantasy.

  I listen as the crickets sing, the summer evening air mild. Thankfully the mosquitos haven’t taken over yet, making the night more peaceful than it would be in their presence. “Tell me about Grayson.”

  My favorite topic. She might regret asking. “What do you want to know?”

  Her shoulders lift and drop. “Anything. Everything. Whatever you want to tell me.”

  Hmm. I wonder if I could say the same to her about Mr. Ring.

  “He’s the best thing that ever happened to me. And Willow.”

  “He’s what, fifteen or sixteen?”

  “Fifteen,” I tell her on a nod. Then, because she seems like she truly wants to know, I open up about him. “The result of a one night stand.”

  “And Miss Polly? How did she become such a big part of your lives?”

  “Our parents are… conservative, to say the least. They’re great people, truly, but live by very strict rules. When Willow told them she was pregnant, they said, and I quote, ‘Congratulations, but don’t expect our help’.”

  “Hmm,” she hums.

  “Yeah, it was rough. We were nineteen at the time, turned twenty shortly after Grayson was born. She was still going to nursing school and I was still working on my undergrad. Miss Polly was married once upon a time but he was killed in an accident before they could have kids. She’s actually the sister-in-law to my dad’s brother and opened up her home to Willow until she finished school and got on her feet.”

  “Wow. And Grayson’s dad?”

  “Mick. He’s in the picture and a great guy but he’s not here. He lived about three hours away until Grayson was six. The company he worked for transferred him to the east coast. It was a good opportunity for him but he struggled with the decision, not wanting to leave Gray. As it was, he didn’t see him as much as any of us would like. We made it work but it wasn’t ideal. By the time he moved, Gray was already spending the nights Willow worked with me rather than his dad. Not to say he wasn’t willing or there if Willow needed him but it was just more convenient.

  “He’s a good man. Wants the best for Grayson and does the best he can. It’s not the same as being here every day but, again, they make it work. Gray goes to Mick’s each summer for at least two weeks—they try for longer but it depends on schedules—plus they alternate holidays. Of course, they FaceTime a few times a week since Gray is basically attached to his phone. For as little as he’s here, he’s here, if that makes sense.”

  “I get what you mean.”

  “Yeah. So anyway, like I said, he usually flies out to his dad’s for two weeks every summer but this year Mick’s coming here. He wants the chance to meet Grayson’s friends, hang out with him and see the day-to-day life that he misses. He’s staying for a while, will work from here.”

  “What does Willow think about that?”

  “Mick being here?”

  “Yeah.”

  “She seems… indifferent, I guess. It’s not as if some guy she was in love with is suddenly back in the picture. He’s always just kind of, I don’t know how to say it…” I pause as I gather my words to not make Mick sound like a prick. “He’s kind of just been a guy in Grayson’s life. I’m not saying he isn’t a good man, or doesn’t do the best he can. But it’s not as if he’s ever made any grand sacrifices to stay in his life on a daily basis. Sure, Willow could have moved to him, but he never asked for that. So yeah, I’m not his dad, obviously, and don’t claim that title but he hasn’t missed out on a dad figure in his life. If he has questions or problems, I’m there but he also has his dad. It might seem weird to people that I’m as close as I am to him, but…” I shrug, not wanting to say that I really don’t give a shit what people think of me. It sounds harsh and callous and I don’t really know how she’s going to take everything I just told her.

  In the past, my relationship with Grayson has been a bit of a turn on for women. They see a man who’s good with kids, willing to spend time with them and give up a part of his life for their well-being. But then it quickly shifts to a strong dose of jealousy. Whether it’s because I’m not giving enough of myself to the relationship or they see a future—one that I don’t see—and they don’t want me to focus on anyone else’s kids but our own. Which, sadly, is the reason my last relationship ended.

  “Wow, so you’re kind of like a second father to him, huh?”

  “I am.”

  “That’s… wow. I’m in awe of that, Walker. Not many men are willing to step up that way.”

  Her response allows me to take in a deep breath. “Yeah, well, he makes it easy. Not that he’s perfect because good grief—he’s a teenager and they’re their own special kind of strange—but Grayson’s pretty awesome. He’s come first in my life since the day he was born.”

  She doesn’t hesitate when she says, “As he should.”

  “He’s my nephew,” I remind her.

  Her eyes scrunch in confusion. “And? I don’t have siblings or cousins, but if I did, I can’t imagine not wanting to be there for them in every way possible.”

  I scrub my hands on the material of my shorts. “Well, I’ve been told he’s just my nephew.”

  Her eyes widen with understanding. “Then they don’t deserve to be in either of your lives. We don’t get a choice in what our hearts choose to be filled with. Loving a nephew like he’s your own son isn’t a fault, Walker. That’s one of the things that makes you a good man.”

  I want to kiss her.

  I want to share in Miss Polly’s excitement that we get to keep her.

  Scratch that.

  I want to keep her for myself.

  “You know, when I first saw him sitting in your pickup, I thought he was your son. He resembles you.”

  “We hear that a lot. Probably helps that Willow is my twin.”

  “I wondered. So, what types of things is he into?”

  As much as I love talking with her, I can tell she’s avoiding any conversation that leads back to her. I don’t call her on it, though. “Wrestling. Girls. Hanging with his friends. And girls deserves repeating.”

  She throws her head back laughing. “Sounds like a typical fifteen-year-old boy.”

  I smirk.

  “He’s a wrestler, huh?”

  Pride swells in my chest when I think about him on the mat. “Works hard at
it, too. Works out before school. Practices after. He’s not undefeated but he’s good. Learns from his losses the same as his wins.”

  “I love that. I can imagine it’s a fairly humbling sport.”

  “It is. He’s learned a lot about himself being on the wrestling team.”

  “Huh. Maybe I need to start wrestling,” she teases.

  My mind immediately drifts to us on a wrestling mat, no singlets needed. I would let her pin me. Then I could help her learn how to lose by pinning her. Only, I don’t see either of us losing in that situation.

  And now I’ll never be able to watch one of Grayson’s matches without my thoughts shifting to Ellie and me doing a bit of wrestling of our own.

  “You mentioned no siblings or cousins?”

  “Nope. None.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t have a lot of family either, but I can’t imagine not having Willow to lean on.”

  “Or Miss Polly.”

  “Right. She’s kind of an honorary mom to us. Your parents?”

  “Not worth talking about,” she says quietly. I don’t push, just wait until she’s ready to continue and I’m grateful that she does. “They’re divorced. My mom made it clear that it was my fault Dad left. The last words she said to me were hoping that she never saw me again.”

  I want to track down her parents and make them walk across a bed of Legos. I try my best to not show the anger boiling up inside me but it’s difficult.

  “You didn’t deserve that,” I say, grateful that I steadied my voice.

  “No kid does,” she says and shrugs her shoulders. “But her wish was exactly what I wanted as well. The best thing to happen to me was them walking away.”

  I want to make it all go away… the horrible parts of her past, the pain she still carries. My parents might not have been supportive of Willow’s pregnancy but they never fully turned their backs on her.

  “I’m glad you’re here,” I tell her, not knowing what else to say.

  “So am I. It feels… good.”

  Good. That’s how it feels for her to be around people who don’t suck.

  Knowing where my head is at, I figure now’s the time to make my exit before I do something neither of us are ready for.

  “I’d better get going. I have a new potential employee coming into the clinic tomorrow and I need to be well rested.”

  She laughs, standing from her place beside Brutus. Ellie rubs her butt and laughs. “I think I’m getting too old to sit on the hard ground for that long.”

  I should have insisted she move but after her reaction to my job offer, I figure she’s perfectly capable of knowing where she wants to sit. Brutus groans his displeasure and I do my best not to roll my eyes at him. He stretches, his long pink tongue hanging out when he yawns. I roll my eyes. He’s so lazy.

  Ellie and I clean up the table together then she walks me to the front door.

  “Thank you. Dinner was excellent and the conversation was even better,” I tell her honestly. She gave me a gift tonight. She opened up a lot more than I expected her to. A little nibble of what makes Ellie, Ellie.

  Her cheeks pink and she bites her bottom lip. My eyes zero in, the simple movement so freaking sexy, I have to shove my hands into my pockets to stop myself from reaching out and using my thumb to free her plump lip.

  “You’re welcome,” she says at last.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow. “

  “You will.”

  I pat my leg for Brutus to follow and we make our way down the front porch steps. When I get to my pickup, I look back to the house to see Ellie standing in the doorway, watching us. The porch light illuminates around her. I open the door and wave, my hand resting on the door frame. She lifts a hand to return my wave and I hop in the pickup, knowing if I don’t leave now I’ll march back inside, press her against the door and probably embarrass us both when Miss Polly comes out to see what the commotion is.

  I JUST SPENT WAY TOO much time on my hair and makeup considering I’m going to a veterinary clinic to talk with a guy about a job and not a date.

  And especially considering I was recently engaged and have no desire to be in a relationship—maybe ever again. It’s clear I’m not the best judge of character when it comes to men, or friends. The thought of opening my heart up to romance again makes me feel more than a little bit queasy.

  Speaking of which, I power up my phone for the first time since last Saturday night.

  Holy shit.

  Thirty-eight texts, sixteen voicemails, fifty-two missed calls. Most of which have come from Gary. A name I now can’t say or think without a sneer. Asshole.

  Gary: Please come back. I’ll explain everything.

  What else could he possibly explain?

  Gary: Where are you?

  Gary: I’m worried about you. Call me, okay?

  Gary: It’s been over a week. Enough already. CALL me.

  Worried about me? Was he worried when he was screwing my friend?

  I scroll to the last one.

  Gary: I’ve had enough. Call me or I’ll be forced to come searching for you.

  Pressing my lips together, I listen to the first message Gary left. “Babe, I wasn’t thinking. It’s over between Crystal and me. She doesn’t mean anything to me.”

  I bet she doesn’t. His daddy would never accept her as a potential wife. Her natural curves that she embraces rather than fights by working out to get rid of, her blue hair and nose ring, colorful tattoos that cover her arms. She’s beautiful on the outside, not so much on the inside. But she’s far from who Gary Sr. would have pictured for a daughter-in-law. If Gary wants his inheritance when he turns thirty-five as per the terms of his trust, I know he’ll be fighting to get back in my good graces.

  I must have really had the blinders on when it comes to that family. Because, seriously … what a bunch of assholes.

  I decide to jump from the first to the last, assuming that the rest of the messages are likely the same. “Ellie, I’m giving you one more day to return my car or I’m calling the police to bring you up on charges of theft.”

  That’s it. His voice now entirely unapologetic, most likely because he’s used to getting what he wants and having me not reply, not jump to his demands that were probably laid out in the other messages or texts I have yet to read, just irks him.

  I obviously missed a few important messages in the middle.

  The time stamp on the message tells me he left this one last night.

  At the time, I was cracking up and eating lasagna with Walker and Miss Polly, feeling lighter than I have in three years.

  I grab the keys and my purse, forgetting all about going to the vet clinic because… well, jail. It’s not really something I’m willing to risk right now. Freedom or being stubborn. If you’d have asked me two weeks ago if Gary was bluffing, I would have said absolutely. However, it’s obvious I don’t have the best of instincts when it comes to him.

  “Morning, sweet girl.” Miss Polly is sitting at the kitchen table, her short silver hair sticking up every which way. She’s wearing a pajama set; a light blue t-shirt and matching plaid capri pants, and some fuzzy slippers on her feet.

  I’ve never seen her not look completely put together. She’s adorable.

  “Everything okay?” I ask her.

  “Hmm? Why wouldn’t it be?”

  “It’s just that,” I throw a hand in her direction, “you’re a little more casual than I’ve seen you in the past.”

  She smiles then takes a sip of her coffee. “Content, darling. You’re staying and I’m happy about that. I slept better last night than I’ve slept in years.”

  I struggle to breathe normally and I feel the sting of tears hit the back of my eyes, my nose burning as I fight back crying. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt so welcome in someone’s home. Or, if I’m being completely honest with myself, a part of someone’s family. And that’s exactly how Miss Polly makes me feel. Like family. Like she cares about me and my well-being.
r />   “I’m staying,” I say out loud because it feels good and I know she wants to hear it again. She smiles and nods.

  I press my lips together and walk over to get a cup of coffee. After I get it doctored up the way I like with a shot of vanilla creamer, I turn around and lean against the counter. “I’m not going to be able to go to Walker’s clinic today.”

  “What?” she asks, concern evident in her gaze on me.

  I take a sip and sigh. “Gary’s being a special kind of jerk right now and wants his car back. It’s a long story but I don’t think he’s bluffing. And, you know, it’d be kind of nice to get my things out of his house and get my own car anyway. I’m tired of having anything of his around me.”

  “It has to be today?”

  “He left me a message threatening to call the cops if I didn’t bring his car back within twenty-four hours. My gut is telling me this is a chance to rip off the Band-Aid and get it over with.”

  “Let me get ready and I’ll come with.”

  “You don’t…” my words are cut off when she squints, doing her best to glare at me.

  “Give me thirty minutes.”

  “Thank you. It will be nice to have someone there for me,” I admit.

  Her eyes soften and she stands. “My only sadness is hearing that you didn’t have someone before.” She walks over and squeezes my hand then winks before shuffling to her room to get ready.

  “Miss Polly?” I call through the house.

  “Yes?”

  “Did you have breakfast? I’m going to make some toast and eggs.”

  “That’d be lovely. Thank you.”

  I set to work getting our breakfast ready. Just as I’m placing the strawberry jam, that she made herself, on the table, the doorbell rings.

  She peeks her head around the corner, her hair now tamed but part of it in a clip like she’s in the middle of curling a section. “Can you get the door, Ellie? I’m expecting a delivery.”

  “Sure.”

  I open the door and I should be surprised but I’m quickly learning that Miss Polly always has a plan. And that plan seems to involve getting Walker and I together in every way she can.