All I Need

by Jennifer Van Wyk

  “You want to play this game?”

  “No game, Gary. You’re the one who decided to sleep with another woman for six months—while your ring was on my finger, might I remind you.” I pull the ring out of my pocket and look at it before tossing it to him. It hits him in the chest and he catches it before it falls to the floor.

  “It was fake anyway,” he says, lip curling up in a sneer like I give a shit.

  “Figures. Everything you stand for is.”

  He throws back the rest of his whiskey, his lips spreading out from the sharp taste of straight liquor. I’m sure he was choking every single sip down, chest puffing out. I don’t know what he’s trying to prove. He never liked the taste of hard liquor but he had it in his head that real men drink it. Meanwhile, he’d probably be happier drinking a pina colada, something full of fake sweetness. Looks like neither of us were our true selves around each other. “Probably why I had to go looking for something not so… natural.” He smirks.

  “Enough!” Walker interjects. His voice comes out so loudly that it makes me jump.

  He glances at Walker then stares at me. “This isn’t over.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong,” Walker growls, wrapping an arm around my stomach from behind and tugging me to him, my back to his front. The look on Gary’s face is priceless but it doesn’t do anything to stop my body from wanting to bury in even closer to Walker. The fact that I’m standing in front of the man I was supposed to marry and am responding so strongly to another isn’t lost on me. But for the life of me, I can’t find it in me to care, either. “It was over before we walked through your door today, Gary,” he practically spits out his name and I want to giggle but stifle it.

  Gary prowls away, brushing a shoulder against Walker’s as he passes. The gesture makes both of us laugh, me so hard I bend over forward. “He’s such a jackass,” I wheeze.

  He snorts. “He really is.”

  Within ten minutes, we have the furniture loaded and strapped into the bed of Walker’s pickup and we’re on the road heading home.

  I don’t even look in my rearview mirror this time.

  WHEN MISS POLLY CALLED ME to ask if I’d help Ellie get her stuff from her old place I knew something was up. She didn’t hesitate to tell me that her ex was threatening to call the police if she didn’t return his car. My instincts told me it was more than him wanting his car back. I had a sinking feeling it wouldn’t end well for Ellie if she was alone. Thank God I went with her today. If it had been Miss Polly there, I can’t imagine how it would have gone. She would have laid into him for sure but what if he had decided to become physically violent? Gary isn’t just an ass. He’s a motherfucking ass.

  And he’s also stupid as fuck.

  Who in their right mind would ever cheat on Ellie? In the short amount of time I’ve known her, she’s… well, amazing.

  Beautiful.

  Funny.

  Kind.

  Gentle.

  Understanding.

  No one else has ever understood my relationship with Grayson and she seemed not only to get it but embrace it.

  After I left last night, I kept replaying our back-porch conversation over and over. Her voice so soft and sweet. Her questions about Grayson that didn’t hold even a hint of judgment, just curiosity.

  And not that I only focus on looks but, beautiful definitely deserves a repeat.

  The second Gary showed his face, I knew he’d not let her go without trying to cause a little trouble. He kept eyeing me, wondering why I was with Ellie. Who I was to her. For a brief moment I thought it was jealousy. But as Ellie was telling him off, I knew that it was more than that. She was his meal ticket. And by the way Ellie spoke of the girl he was cheating on her with, it sounds like she doesn’t match up with the type of girl he’s supposed to marry.

  Pathetic.

  When she was reminding him of what he’d done to her, I had to fight back the urge to pummel the moron. I almost wish I hadn’t stopped her from making the car look like it had been in a bad hail storm. No doubt he’d somehow just get his daddy to buy him a new one anyway. Then again, after witnessing what a jerk he is, there’s a high likelihood that he would have brought up vandalism charges against her.

  Her words continue to roll around in my head on the way back to Miss Polly’s as I dissect everything I learned about her in the short amount of time we were at Gary’s house. Aside from the fact that he was a manipulative ass, that is. She mentioned someone named Michael and I can’t help but wonder who he is and what he means—or meant—to her. She didn’t have many personal items. No photo albums or framed pictures. Discovering she has a kinky side makes me have to shift in my seat.

  One thing I know for certain, though, is that with every passing minute, she’s digging deeper into my thoughts. Burrowing in, making a nice little place for her alone.

  Arriving at Polly’s house, I wait for her to park before I back into the space beside her small SUV and step down out of the driver’s seat. I stop in my tracks as soon as I round the back of the pickup. She has her arms raised above her head, hands clasped together. She leans over to stretch. Wearing the cut offs she wore the first day I met her and a simple deep red t-shirt, she’s casually sexy. My fingers flex against my sides, every single inch of me wanting to step up behind her, reach out my hands to the globes of her ass and squeeze before bringing her back up close to me like I did a few hours ago at Gary’s house.

  When I placed my hand on her shoulder, it was just so she knew I was there for her. But then I couldn’t stop touching her when I felt her lean into me. My arm was wrapped around her stomach, pulling her into me. I wasn’t about to let her go. She felt so good in my arms. Whether I want to admit it or not, I liked seeing Gary’s reaction to her in my arms. Right where she belongs.

  She’s going to be my undoing.

  I clear my throat and lower the tailgate of my pickup, the hinges squeaking. She jerks upright and spins around, her cheeks flushing pink.

  “Oh, I’m sorry.”

  I want to say that there’s nothing to be sorry for and she can bend over in front of me anytime. Maybe even when we’re naked. Or preferably when we’re naked. My mind seems to continue to drift to thoughts of her and I in about a million different positions. I know I need to stop thinking that way. There’s no way she’s ready for that yet—but I can’t help but think that she was stopped along the highway so close to my home for a purpose. “You know, the minute we bring everything inside, Miss Polly is going to kidnap you for good.”

  She smiles and my gut clenches. Yeah, she’s definitely going to be my undoing. I know without a doubt that I’d do just about anything to keep that smile on her face. Not the one from a few days ago that seemed practiced and fake. This one. The smile that shows me she’s truly happy, maybe even content.

  “I’m beginning to think that’s not such a bad thing… to be home,” she says and I know she’s telling the truth. She doesn’t have family and Gary, obviously, wasn’t someone who appreciated her. It’s about damn time she sees what it’s like to be wanted.

  “It’s definitely not a bad thing.”

  She bites her lip, her teeth dragging along until she releases it. “How did you know?”

  “Know what?”

  “To bring me here,” she explains, looking up at the old Victorian house. “That this is where I needed to be.”

  She turns back to me and I dip my head, gaining her eyes. “She needs you here as much as you need to be, trust me on that.”

  Her gaze softens and she takes a step toward me. I watch as her tongue snakes out, licking her lips. If I didn’t know any better, I would think she was trying to torture me slowly from all the lip action. “You didn’t answer my question.”

  With great effort, I pull my eyes away from her mouth, darting them back and forth between hers. “I just knew.”

  “How is that possible? You didn’t know anything about me.”

  I shrug and take a risk. I take one st
ep forward and reach out, grasping her hand. “Maybe a part of me did.”

  Her fingers tighten around mine and then she shocks the shit out of me when she pulls me closer, releasing my hand so she can wrap her arms around my middle. My arms naturally slide around her slender frame and I lean my head forward, inhaling the sweet flowery scent of her shampoo. “Thank you,” she whispers against my chest.

  “For what?” I murmur, her hair tickling my chin.

  She looks up at me and I have to suck in a breath at the vision. “For being honest. For helping me today. For not judging me for sleeping in a 90’s porno shoot bedroom for the past two years,” she adds on a giggle.

  Laughter bursts out of me and soon both our bodies are shaking against each other. Which is both a blessing and a curse knowing I can’t do a single thing about it. “Oh man. That was the worst. How did you sleep in it? It looked like a jungle safari threw up in there.”

  She squeezes the skin on my back through my shirt and leans back, her eyes glinting with humor.

  Happy.

  That’s the first word that comes to my mind.

  I don’t know if it’s in reference to her or me, or maybe both.

  “I was so embarrassed when you saw that,” she grumbles, her cheeks turning a rosy shade of pink to emphasize her point.

  I brush a thumb against her cheek, not being able to stop myself from touching her with more intimacy than I should be given. “Stop. Whatever that was, it’s behind you. We’re moving on, yeah?”

  “Yeah,” she says softly, her eyes drifting down to my mouth then back up again.

  Last night I wanted to kiss her.

  Right now?

  I want to kiss her. As in, bend her over backwards, change our lives forever with a kiss that leaves us both breathless and aching for more, kiss her.

  “You made it back home.” the sound of Miss Polly’s cheerful voice makes us jerk apart quickly.

  She’s not even trying to hide the knowing smile that’s spread across her cheeks. Ellie and I disentangle our arms from each other.

  “We did,” Ellie says with a glance in my direction before moving to her car and lifting the back hatch.

  Miss Polly shuffles her way to Ellie, pulls her into her arms. “Welcome home, sweet girl.”

  I grab whatever I can from the SUV and turn toward the house, leaving them alone while I gather my own thoughts.

  I’m developing feelings for a woman I just met. My entire life I’ve put others’ needs first and for the first time, I’m considering leaping before thinking. Wanting something—someone—for just me. And worse yet, I’m praying that she’ll be ready to leap right along with me.

  The feelings I have for Ellie should freak me out, make me panic. But it’s the opposite. A sense of peace I’ve never felt, not even when I’m with Grayson, is settling over me. I was content with my life. Liked it the way it was. But now, I know something was missing. It’s as if my entire life I’ve been waiting for Ellie to appear and now that she has, I can only hope she’s here to stay.

  I want to get to know her. Understand her on a deeper level, not just physical. Yes, I want that part of her too. But it’s more than that—it’s wanting to know her dreams and hopes for her future, and helping her achieve them. It’s wanting to know her favorite color and flavor of ice cream, what shows she wants to binge watch and what junk food she eats while she does it. Everything. I want to know everything and be a part of it.

  I place the bags I carried inside on the floor of the bedroom that I know she’s been staying in. The bedroom already smells like her, the sweet combination of citrus and lavender. Her scent permeating the air like she’s lived here for years. Even the house knows she belongs here. Accepting her into its fold.

  I spin on my heels, knowing I need to get out of this room before I do something stupid. Like smell her pillow. But fuck. The feel of her in my arms is engrained in my memory, making me strain behind the zipper of my shorts. The fullness of her breasts pressed against my chest, the gentle curve of her hips that I couldn’t help myself from running my palms over. She’s the perfect combination of woman.

  “Not now,” I growl to my crotch, willing my body to stop reacting so quickly to her.

  I quickly make my way down the hallway and push out the back door of the house, sucking in a deep breath of fresh air as soon as I’m outside. But of course that’s a mistake also because now that I’m back here, all I can think about is the last time I sat out here with her.

  I take off my hat and tug on my short strands of hair. I know I’m already getting in over my head with this woman. Before I can worry myself further, I turn around and go back to get another load of Ellie’s things. Because she’s moving here. And will soon be working for me.

  Shit.

  “STOP FIDGETING. YOU’RE NOT HERE for a date. You’re here because Walker’s a nice guy and he offered you a job so you wouldn’t be a free loading off Miss Polly forever,” I remind myself as I sit in my car outside Walker’s vet clinic.

  A side door opens and out walks Grayson. He really could pass for Walker’s son and it makes me wonder if Walker gets his looks from his dad, as if the gene pool is so strong it passes through the generations. I imagine flipping through pages and pages of photo albums, the only way to tell the difference among the McKinstry men, the decades separating them.

  My heart squeezes at the thought of never having that. Pictures of a childhood to look back on, comparing then and now. I have no family to speak of. Heck, no real friends. Sure, there’s Allison. But I met her through Crystal and even though Crystal proved to be a piece of crap for a friend, I can’t imagine that Allison would choose me over her. They’ve known each other forever. Never mind the fact that I’m never going back to that life again. She texted me a few times after I left on Saturday and I replied, letting her know I was okay and safe, but that’s about it. She also texted me last night, just a few hours after I got back home to Miss Polly’s from getting all my stuff from Gary’s.

  She said she heard I moved out and asked if she could visit me some time. I figured she heard because Crystal must have told her, which means Gary told Crystal. I replied to Allison, let her know I was happy and maybe we’d catch up, but gave her no indication of where I am. I don’t need that information trail making its way to Gary. He’s butt hurt enough about him being a jackass and blames me for not getting his inheritance, that it wouldn’t surprise me one bit if he decided to pay me a visit one more time to see if he could convince me.

  Idiot.

  Grayson stops walking and turns his head, a smile stretching across his face when he spots me sitting in my car. He strides over to me and opens my door for me, stepping back to make room for me to get out.

  “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were stalking me,” he teases, a boyish twinkle in his eye.

  “You caught me,” I joke back.

  He smirks. “Don’t tell my uncle you’re here for me instead of him. I think you’d break his heart.”

  I roll my eyes but can’t help my pulse from spiking at the thought of Walker being excited to see me. Right or wrong considering I just got out of a relationship, there’s something about him that I can’t stop thinking about.

  Working for him is probably the biggest mistake I could possibly make but yet here I sit. I’m not sure there’s a single thing that I could find out about this job that would make me turn down his offer.

  “Right. Because he needs me to work for him.”

  “Sure, let’s go with that,” he chuckles. “Come on. I’ll introduce you to Linda and show you around a little bit. Walker’s in surgery right now so it will be a little bit before he’s available.”

  I gasp and stop walking. “Surgery? Is he okay?”

  He gives me an odd look then it dawns on me that he meant he was the one doing the operating. On animals. Because he’s a veterinarian. And I’m an idiot.

  I blow out a breath and close my eyes. “By your reaction to thinking Walker
was under the knife, I’d say I don’t have a chance.”

  A giggle bursts out of me when I see the look on his face. “That, and the fact that you’re about twenty years my junior.”

  He shrugs his shoulders, the shirt that looks like it was once a t-shirt but he cut out the arms and parts of the sides showing off the way his body is growing to look even more like his uncle. “Eh, semantics.”

  “You’re terrible.”

  He grins, one side of his mouth turning up in a boyish way. “That’s what all the girls say.”

  “Oh you’re trouble, too.”

  He waggles his eyebrows then takes me by the elbow and guides me to the back door of the clinic.

  “So you’re here to stay, huh?”

  “For a while, anyway.”

  “Uncle Walker said he helped you move your things to Miss Polly’s?”

  “Yeah. Yesterday he came with me. I don’t know what I would have done without his help,” I tell him as he leads me into a back room full of cages and larger kennels. Only a few are filled with dogs, a few cats and one bunny, which makes me smile. They all seem happy, content even. None of them making a ruckus like they want out.

  “He’s a good guy. The best, actually. I’m glad he could be there to help you.”

  I wonder how much of yesterday he knows about. If Walker told Grayson about Gary.

  “Me too,” I say quietly.

  He looks at me for a few moments before he throws an arm out. “This is the room we have for our vacationers.”

  “Vacationers?”

  “Yeah. If pet owners go on vacation, they pay us to watch their pets. But we also have a few strays that kind of just become our own if no one claims or adopts them.”

  I look around the room and spot a big door that has a little one on the bottom like a dog door. He notices where I’m looking and explains, “We don’t like to keep them in kennels for long so we let them out as often as we can. There’s a fenced in area just outside the door so as long as the dogs get along, they have a little more freedom. If we have a dog that doesn’t do well with others, we keep them separated or kenneled across the way,” he says throwing a thumb over his shoulder.