All I Need

by Jennifer Van Wyk

  Standing on either side of Amber while contraction after contraction hits her with the force of a truck, we resist the urge to wince when she squeezes our hands so tightly I’m afraid she could break a finger.

  “One more push, Amber,” the doctor says to my right.

  She grunts, curling her body up and pushes with all her might.

  The sound of the baby A’s cry fills the room and I stand straight, watching in awe as the nurse cleans the baby up, preparing for the next baby’s arrival.

  I want so badly to move from my place next to Amber but she’s giving us her babies and has no one else. She needs our support.

  Still, it’s killing me. To know one of my babies is here, ready to be held, loved on, kissed and adored. It’s been months of waiting and nervousness and worries but now that it’s time, I’m so ready to just get to the next stage. Get back home with our babies and start our new life together, sleepless nights and all.

  With just a few more pushes, baby B’s cries are heard. Ellie bursts into tears. I have a sudden wetness coating my cheeks I didn’t anticipate. The three of us are crying and sweating, though I’m sure Amber’s cries and sweat is partly from pain also.

  Once the babies are cleaned up, swaddled in a blanket with a tiny knit cap covering their little fuzzy heads, the nurse walks over to Ellie, places baby A in her arms then brings baby B to me. We hold them close. Smell their new baby smell. Introduce them to the woman who gave us our new life. Shower them with the love and kisses we’ve been dying to give them since we first saw the pair on the ultrasound, facing each other and cuddling.

  “You’re a daddy,” Ellie whispers, eyes brimmed with tears and a smile that lights up the room.

  “And you’re a mommy.”

  We smile at each other, tears continuing to spill out of our eyes. We kiss, babies pressed against our chests between us. I’ve never been more grateful for the life I’ve been given. Here in this tiny room I have all I need and I don’t plan on ever letting it go.

  Addison Paulina McKinstry graced our world at 5:13 AM

  Followed shortly by her younger brother,

  Bryant Paul McKinstry screaming in at 5:18 AM

  Paulina was chosen as a tribute to her grandmother, of course. Paul, after me but a play on Paulina. Because we’ll forever be grateful for the woman who showed us unconditional love.

  In only a matter of five minutes, our family of fourteen turned into a family of seventeen. Amber too will forever be ours.

  The End

  One month later

  “I’VE NEVER BEEN SO TIRED in my life,” Ellie mumbles, flopping down on the couch face first. I’m not sure the last time she held a brush in her hands and by the look of her hair, it’s been a while. Still, she’s beautiful. A little smelly, but still beautiful.

  I lift up baby Bryant’s tiny hand. “But I’m so cute in the middle of the night, Mommy,” I say in my best baby voice.

  “Cute or not, Mama wants sleeeeeeeep,” she whines.

  I place Bryant in his little bouncy chair just as Addi begins to stir, crying for the attention she loves to demand of me. Daddy’s girl already and I don’t give a shit. She has me so wrapped around her finger and even at only four weeks, the little stinker knows it.

  She blinks up at me when I reach for her out of the swing she was just resting in. She sighs contentedly as soon as she’s in my arms.

  Total Daddy’s girl.

  Ellie rolls her head so she’s looking at me from her place on the couch. She’s wearing just a t-shirt, some fuzzy socks that go up to her shins. And that’s it. That’s all the energy she has in her to get dressed.

  “You’re such a sucker. She was totally fine in the swing until you walked in and had to speak. Then she heard your voice and I’m pretty sure I saw her head perk up and she was all “oh, Daddy’s holding my brother and he should be holding me so I’ll squeak and he’ll jump.” Honestly, Walker. You’re so screwed.”

  “I don’t mind,” I murmur, kissing my sweet baby angel on the head.

  Brutus comes over, nudges his head into Ellie’s hand that’s dangling off the couch and licks it before moving over to sit next to Bryant, his best friend. From the minute we brought the babies home, Brutus claimed Bryant and Sadie, our new chocolate lab mix, claimed Addi. Both of them acting as their charge’s protector.

  “Ellie girl, why don’t you go take a bath? Relax a little while. Both babies are fed. Changed. Happy. I’ve got this for a few hours. You need sleep.”

  “So do you.”

  “I’m Superman, didn’t you know?”

  “Only Addi thinks that. Besides, I’ll probably fall asleep in the bath then I’ll drown and you’d be alone to raise these little trouble causers.”

  I chuckle at her dramatics. “Fine. A shower, then.”

  “I smell, don’t I?”

  I lift my finger and thumb, spread out just a small space between. “Little bit,” I say, laughing.

  She giggles then groans while rising up off the couch. “Alright, alright. I’m going. I might even shave.”

  “Lucky me.”

  “Mm hmm. Maybe if you play your cards right, you will get lucky.”

  As she’s walking past, I tug on her arm, bringing her down to me. Addi coos from her place on my chest when I kiss her mom. “I’m gonna hold you to that.”

  I once thought my life was perfect but then this crazy woman appeared on the side of the road and my life changed forever. Turns out, this, right here, this unexpected life that I’ve been given, is…

  All I Need.

  God gets every single bit of glory for this one. I asked a group of friends to pray for me that I finish All I Need for my deadline and I did. With TWO days to spare. God, YOU are amazing. The way you love us so unconditionally, give us exactly what we need when we need it… I’m in awe. And not always grateful. For that, I apologize.

  Travis, you’re a rock star of a husband. I could not love you more. I can’t imagine a life without you. Thank the good Lord we’re stuck with each other for life. I love you more than words could ever say. Thanks for making me laugh, feel beautiful, and gahhhh… being mine.

  Joey, you’re quite something. I love your enthusiasm for life and the way you embrace changes. You make life so interesting and I love you. Beyond words.

  Jake, it’s so fun to see you grow into the sweet boy you are. I am so jealous of how welcoming you are but love being a part of it. I love you. Beyond words.

  Riley, you’re shifting into this tween and I don’t know that I approve. You’re supposed to stay my baby forever. Ugh. I love you. Beyond words.

  My parents and in laws and my siblings. Thanks for being supportive and happy for me while I continue to pursue my dream of publishing. I couldn’t do life without you.

  Mom and Dad. I pray you pretend someone else wrote the sex scenes. It will make life far less uncomfortable for all of us.

  Rainy Lake, Canada. I was stressed almost beyond repair when we traveled twelve hours north to sit in a fishing boat for four days. I am still in awe of your beauty. Of the peacefulness that drifted through the breeze. To Erv and Val who were kind enough to bless us with that time. My in-laws who indulged us. My kids who smiled and chatted and laughed and had more fun being offline than I expected. My husband who knew—without a doubt knew—that I needed that time away. I have never been more grateful for deplugging in my life and can’t wait to go back.

  30K in 60Days… you’re insane. Absolutely. And I love you all for it. Thanks for cheering each other (and me) on and being awesome. For the laughs we’ve shared.

  Ladies of The Walk. I can’t. Goodness. My hands shake as I think about the impact you’ve had on my life. It’s absolutely my happiest place.

  Do Not Disturb Book Club and the authors who run it. Wow. You’re amazing. I am not sure there are words to express just how much.

  Dani, Allyson, and Tabitha. Your notes and love for Walker and Ellie is beyond anything I could have ever hoped for. You’
re all stuck with me for life and I really am so dang grateful that you took your time with All I Need. Who licked him first? I don’t remember.

  Kaitie, you are a treasure and I appreciate your support and help so incredibly much.

  Andrea. You’re one of those women who I feel I don’t deserve in my life but I’ll never give you up. Thanks for being not just an awesome editor but incredible friend.

  Kara. You keep correcting me and I’ll keep sending you my stuff.

  Juliana. Cover goddess. Teaser making queen. I adore you.

  Lindee. Keep snapping those sexy photos.

  Brian and Daria. Special thanks to your genetics for making you gorgeous humans.

  Stacey. The inside looks pretty thanks to you.

  Sarah and the rest of the Social Butterfly PR staff. You took a chance on me a few books ago and I’m so grateful you did. Thanks for caring about me and my books.

  SoulSister. I love you. Forever. We will hug soon and I’ll cry and be super clingy and I won’t apologize for it. I love you.

  Kate. My little southern pumpkin. You’re lovely. I kinda love you.

  Mastas. Everything’s already been said in our thankfully private chat.

  Jill. You’re an inspiration and I love you.

  Julia. You know me better than anyone. I love you so much.

  Author friends. Once upon a time I was simply a reader who loved words and looked up to you. Now I’m one of your peers. I am unworthy on my best day but am honored to me among you and call many of you my friends.

  Spotify. You’re the real rock star here.

  Food Network. You provided a lot of distraction and hunger pains. It’s okay. I forgive you and love you anyway.

  Mable Thoreson the bulldog and their cows. You were unknowingly inspiration and managed it really well. Bravo. Oh, and Deann. Thanks for being my tribe and bench sharer at games so I don’t have to try to be an extrovert and talk to others. **raises fist in solidarity of husbands who work crazy hours**

  Jennifer’s Java Girls. Your desire for me to keep writing makes me look like a mouth breather because I’m constantly dropping my jaw in surprise. Thanks for being supportive. Loving my words. Indulging me when I talk forever about my family. You’re amazing and I love you guys!

  Bloggers—well, what can I say? There are so many books for you to wade through and you do it with such grace, sharing our words and covers and just… wow. Thank you for being you, guys.

  Readers. I will forever consider myself a newbie and will always, always, always be surprised that people pick my books out of the thousands others to choose. For loving words as much as I do, thank you.

  And finally, the education system. It’s a tough business. Man oh man is it ever. Everyone who walks those halls of the schools, helping to keep things going minute by minute, day by day, you are heroes. Please don’t think anything different.

  Sneak peek of what’s to come…

  Gone for You

  Expected Release January 2019

  Content is unedited and subject to change

  Ethan

  IT’S GONNA BE A LONG fucking night. I can feel it in my bones. The bar is packed from everyone celebrating the recent bowl game win for the Warriors. To top off the evening, though, there’s a huge joint bachelor and bachelorette party taking place.

  In my bar.

  If they weren’t spending money like they drunks they are, I’d be a little more pissed about it. But, considering they’re dropping faster than a stripper on a pole, I’m smiling my mega-watt smile and swapping drinks as fast as they can order ‘em.

  I’ve worked in this bar since I was in college. Started out as a bouncer of sorts then transitioned to behind the bar. The tips alone paid my bills once I started bartending.

  The owner decided to sell and I didn’t have anything else planned for life so… here I am. A thirty-two-year old bar owner.

  The Flying Goat is my baby. Why the name? It’s an ode to a friend of mine who was drunk one night and told some guy she wouldn’t sleep with him until goats fly, rather than pigs fly. It kind of stuck and when I bought the bar and decided it needed updating, I made the choice to change the name as well.

  I line up another row of shot glasses and fill them with some middle-shelf tequila and set them on the tray, place a bowl of limes in the middle along with a salt shaker. Completely unoriginal.

  One of the waitresses that’s been working the joint party carries the tray over to the table and everyone cheers, toasting before tipping back their shots. I roll my eyes and grin at my friend Rex, the other bartender on staff tonight.

  Having two male bartenders was strategic for tonight. We’ve learned that having women behind the bar for men to flirt with causes problems with the bachelorette side of the party. Having men creates just enough competition for the men that they order more drinks, dropping more tips to show their worth.

  It’s ridiculous but a game I’ve learned how to play well.

  “They’re gonna be hurting tomorrow,” he murmurs, looking at the crowd out of the corner of his eye while he fills a glass from the tap.

  “Yup.”

  An hour later it’s finally calm enough that I can check my phone that’s been buzzing in my pocket all night.

  “Be back in ten. Need to check my phone then you need to take a break too. This crowd is only going to get busier.”

  “You got it, boss.” He says, winking at a customer who just shimmied up to the bar, dressed in next to nothing. She giggles and again I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes.

  He definitely owns his player status.

  Shutting myself in my office, I relish in the quiet. When I was younger I was more like Rex, right in the middle of things every chance I could get. Apparently I’m getting old. And it sucks.

  I skim through the plethora of text messages I’ve received in just a few hours’ time.

  A smile breaks out on my face when I see Owen’s name.

  Owen: Need your help, man.

  Owen: Olivia’s going to be at The Flying Goat for some bachelorette party tonight. Keep an eye on her.

  Owen: Oh, and she might need a place to stay tonight. She mentioned something about staying with one of the groomsmen but he’s a fucking douche and I don’t trust him.

  Olivia’s here?

  How did I miss that?

  Then his last message registers.

  Fuck.

  The thought of her staying with some other dude is… well, not gonna fuckin’ happen. But staying with me? Yeah. That’s a recipe for disaster.

  Or the recipe for a whole lotta fun.

  Memories of the last time I saw Liv flash through my mind like a series of 4th of July fireworks. The grand finale.

  My skin heats up and my dick hardens remembering how she felt underneath me. The breathless moans that came out of her throat. The way my name sounded as she screamed out when she came. And I can’t even get started on her taste.

  She’s like a cross between the sweetest honey and a spicy whiskey.

  Delicious.

  Intoxicating.

  Addictive.

  Sitting back in my seat, I stare at my phone on my lap. Obviously, Owen knows nothing of my extracurricular activities with his sister or he wouldn’t be suggesting she stay at my house tonight.

  He’d probably chop my nuts off and feed them to me with my Wheaties. There have been countless times I’ve been told he trusts me with his sister. Which, he can. Totally.

  I would never do anything to hurt Liv, or her heart.

  Before I can think better of it, I reply.

  Me: You know she’s always welcome.

  Owen: Took you long enough to reply, man. Must be a shit show there.

  Me: That bachelorette party? It’s joint with the bachelors. It’s crazy in here. Not to mention everyone’s riding the Warrior wave after their win.

  Owen: Oh shit. Yeah. Well, maybe you won’t even see Olivia if it’s nuts.

  I want to tell him that I’m
about to bust through the door to go track her sexy ass down and make sure she’s not sitting on some douche’s lap.

  Me: I’ll find her. It’s not too busy for me to catch up with her.

  Owen: Thanks, man. I owe you one.

  Me: Next time you’re in town, come in to the Goat and we’ll catch up.

  Owen moved to Northern Minnesota a few years back. Some inheritance money allowed him to purchase a large piece of land that he built a lakeside resort. He built it with the hope that families would reconnect without being connected. WiFi is limited. Electricity, running water and plumbing are considered luxuries in the cabins.

  His goal is that time is spent outside, spending time together.

  Owen: Still can’t believe that’s what you named your bar. Olivia’s pretty proud of herself.

  The drunken girl who said flying goat first? Yeah, that was Liv.

  Owen: Also you need to get your ass up here and unplug, man.

  He’s not lying. I don’t remember the last time my phone didn’t rule my life. Who knew running a bar would be so demanding. I admit, when I first bought it, I thought it would just be constant partying. It only took me one weekend of being a business owner to realize I was sorely mistaken.

  And it only took me one month to fall in love with it.

  Never did I think I’d prefer spending my days focused on the ins and outs of the business side of things to throwing back booze with my friends.

  Me: Soon. Promise.

  Owen: Good. I’ll let you get back to it. Tell my sister hi for me.