Discord and the Ponyville Players Dramarama

by G. M. Berrow

  “I was ’fraid you’d say that.” Martingale shook his head. He turned on his hoof and trotted off with a sad look on his face. “Guess I’m gonna have to take matters into my own hooves again,” he muttered under his breath.

  A few moments later, a group of ponies crossed paths with the disgruntled stallion. It was strange how he didn’t even wave or say hello. “Sheesh! What’s wrong with him?” asked Rainbow Dash, looking back over her shoulder.

  “Somepony’s got the grump-grumps!” Pinkie Pie added. “Maybe he hasn’t had a cupcake today.” She turned around, bounced over to him, and was back within ten seconds. “Worse than I thought! Red velvet, you guys. He refused red velvet.”

  “Well, it looks like he just came from Discord’s house,” Twilight pointed out, looking uneasy. “Maybe he’s been up to something worse in Ponyville than making ponies burp bubbles.”

  The Pony of Shadows

  As she waited for the actors to arrive, Twilight Sparkle stood onstage, basking in the sight of the beautiful library. Even though it was all a set—wooden planks propped up and painted to look like towering shelves of dusty books—it still made her feel safe and comfortable. She smiled, fondly remembering her old home: the Golden Oak Library. The cozy book-filled tree had been destroyed in an epic battle against Tirek, aided by Discord’s powerful magic. She missed it very much.

  Twilight thought it was such a shame that the draconequus had been swayed by Tirek to turn against friendship, falling back into his old ways even for a brief time. She wondered if perhaps he was sliding back into bad habits once more. Either way, the princess had her eye on Discord. Nothing was going to stand in the way of Ponyville’s big theater debut.

  After the bubble incident, it seemed everypony else was waiting for the other horseshoe to drop, too. Noteworthy had taken to following him around, hoping for some morsel of dirt to tell the others. But Discord was a model cast member! He showed up to rehearsals on time and did his best not to steal the spotlight, even when he was doing an amazing dance or belting out a song. When it wasn’t his line, Discord only spoke up if a pony had forgotten their part. It was actually quite helpful.

  Nopony had ever seen Fluttershy so smug before. She loved to see all of Discord’s neighsayers proven wrong. “When you show somepony kindness,” she would remind them, “they will know kindness and offer it in return! Even Discord. He’s just a big softie, really.” That part always made Angel roll his little eyes. The bunny hadn’t gotten over Discord’s pranks, either.

  Twilight was broken from her reverie by the sounds of voices and hooves outside the theater entrance. The doors flung open, and a flurry of activity began. “Twilight, dear!” Rarity called out, trotting in with two racks of costumes. “The Trotting Band uniforms for the final scene have been altered and cleaned in time for dress rehearsals. Don’t they look utterly fabulous?”

  “Stunning as always, Rarity,” Twilight said with a sincere nod. “Line them up backstage in the dressing rooms.”

  “And I’ve got the hats!” added Spike, scurrying in behind her. He swayed back and forth under the weight of a stack of hats twice as tall as him. The little dragon leaned around the hats, which were blocking his vision. “Rarity, wait up!” A few hats from the top tumbled down as he rushed to follow her.

  “Welcome, everypony,” said Twilight Sparkle as the rest of the cast members trickled into the theater one by one. “Please, take a seat!” They gossiped and giggled with nervous energy. There was a buzz in the air. It was an electric feeling that only seemed to happen when there was less than a week until “curtains up.” Soon, all of their hard work would be on display for everypony in town to see.

  “Let’s all pipe down now, so Twilight can say her part and we can get things movin’!” Applejack shouted to the ponies.

  “Thanks, A.J.,” Twilight said. “Okay, Ponyville Players…” She began pacing the stage as she spoke. “It’s dress rehearsal week. That means we need to be even more focused than before! Remember your costume changes and all your cues, and we should be in great shape to put on an amazing show.”

  “Please don’t forget your accessories!” Rarity added. “They really do complete each look.”

  “Anypony have questions?” Rainbow Dash called out. Discord raised his claw, but she ignored him. “No? Okay, great. Let’s do this.”

  The draconequus cleared his throat. “Ahem! Over here!”

  “Yes, Discord?” Fluttershy asked, ever patient.

  “It’s not really a question, it’s more of a suggestion.…” Discord explained, standing up. He looked around at the faces of the other ponies. “Am I the only one who thinks the choreography at the end of Act One is severely lacking?”

  “Lackin’ in what?” questioned Apple Bloom, raising a brow and cocking her head to the side.

  “Oomph!” Discord replied. “Zing!”

  “Pizzazz?” finished Pinkie Pie with a grin.

  “Precisely.”

  Noteworthy stood up. “We don’t have time to practice a new routine. I think it’s just fine the way it is.” He turned to Big Mac, Senior Mint, Toe Tapper, Spike, and Davenport for support. “Don’t you, fellas?”

  “Eeyup,” Big Mac agreed.

  “Definitely,” said Senior Mint.

  “Uhh…” Spike hesitated. “I think…” He looked to Discord, who has his arms across his chest. He was tapping his green hoof on the floor impatiently. Spike turned to Twilight Sparkle for guidance. He didn’t want to get on the bad side of the king of chaos. “Maybe it could use something else?”

  Suddenly, the theater lights began to flicker. The whole room turned pitch black. In the dark, a wave of whispers echoed through the cast, accompanied by the shuffling and stomping of hooves. “Hey!” shouted somepony. “What happened?”

  Spike waved his claws in front of him to make sure nopony was there. He blew some fire into the air. For a brief moment, he thought he saw a pony slipping through the back door. But it could have just been a shadow.

  “Oh, calm down.” Discord snapped his claw, and the hooflights came on. Everything was illuminated once more. POP! A light burnt out, smoke rising from the shattered bulb. POP! POP! POP! Three more followed. A creepy tune began to play on the piano, even though Davenport was nowhere near it. It grew louder and louder as the ponies stepped back. Soon they were huddled in the center of the room in a big group.

  Flitter and Noteworthy exchanged a nervous look. Everypony turned to face Discord. “Very strange, indeed,” said the draconequus, rubbing his white beard. He clapped his paw and claw together three times, and the music stopped. “I know what you’re all thinking.” He sighed. “But I didn’t do it.”

  “Then who did?” Apple Bloom trotted over to inspect the burned-out lights.

  “Beats me!” Discord pointed at the broken lights and sent a zap of blue magic over to them. They were immediately fixed. “Perhaps it was a pony ghostie?” Discord quipped with a chuckle.

  Torch Song’s eyes widened. “The Pony of Shadows?!” Everypony started talking at once. Granny Smith had passed around the mysterious legend of the dark, magical creature all over Ponyville. But Twilight, who knew better, was growing impatient.

  “Enough! That’s just an old mare’s tale.” She trotted back over to center stage and turned to the group. “And the lights are fixed now, so it’s time for us to work. Now let’s take a look at that final song in Act One before we do a full run-through.” Twilight winked at Discord. His face broke into a little smile.

  As the ponies obliged, filing onto the stage and taking their places, they shot suspicious glances over at Discord. He was used to this sort of treatment, but it hurt a teensy bit to think that none of the cast members trusted him. After all, he’d been so good lately.

  Noteworthy was the last to trot up the stairs. As he did, he leaned in near Discord’s ear and whispered, “I’ve got my eye on you.…” It made Discord want to cause some trouble, just to put that sneaky pony back in his place! He felt himself
growing weak, his hands just itching for mischief.

  Discord couldn’t resist when he had the brilliant idea to turn the stage into an ice rink halfway through the song and dance. Instead of doing their choreography, the ponies began to slip and slide across the stage at random. “Wheeee!” squealed Pinkie Pie, twirling around in glee. Discord giggled at the chaos of it all.

  Unfortunately, nopony else thought it was very funny. Fluttershy looked disappointed, and Twilight was forced to dismiss him from the rest of rehearsal. As Discord left the theater, he could hear his favorite song from the show playing. He slumped down, torn between his true nature and his obligation to the ponies and Princess Celestia. Maybe he shouldn’t have pulled that ice stunt. But it was almost worth it just to see Noteworthy fall flat on his flank.

  The Disguise

  The ponies and Spike had only been inside Discord’s house for a few moments when he broke down into a puddle of emotion. “Okay, okay—I confess!” Discord blubbered, head down on the kitchen table. “It’s true! I have been keeping a secret from you all. I was only doing the play because Princess Celestia sent me on a mission to test my friendship skills, and said I had to!” He gasped and covered his mouth.

  “Uh…we didn’t even ask ya anything yet.” Applejack looked to her friends, eyebrow cocked. They seemed as equally puzzled as she was. “But I applaud yer honesty?”

  “Princess Celestia gives you tests, too?” Twilight was dumbfounded. “How long has this been going on? Who else is involved?” She began to pace back and forth on the uneven floor, racking her brain for answers. Even though Twilight Sparkle was no longer the princess’s faithful student, she still couldn’t give up the idea of being the only teacher’s pet. “I must write to her and catch up.…”

  “Twilight, aren’t you forgetting why we came over here in the first place?” Rainbow Dash urged. She bit her lip. “You know…”

  “Oh, right.” Twilight straightened and cleared her throat. “Discord—in light of your recent confession, this makes things rather awkward but…”

  “The cast of The Singing Stallion think it might be best if you sit this one out,” Applejack admitted. “Real sorry, sugarcube.”

  “I’m out of the show?!” Discord wailed. “Why?”

  “They all think you’re just playing a big prank on them,” Spike shrugged. He held out his left claw and counted on it. “First, there was the trombone thing, then it was the bubble burps, then the hooflights and the creepy music, then the ice rink stage, and then the ruined library set!”

  “But I didn’t do all those things!” Discord retorted. “Only two of them.”

  “See?” said Fluttershy, turning to the others with a proud smile. “I knew he would never ruin your set, Applejack.”

  “But if you didn’t, then who did?” Rarity asked.

  “I haven’t the foggiest idea.” Suddenly, a small cloud of fog rolled in through the open window and surrounded the top of Discord’s head like a hat. He closed his eyes and thought for a moment. “It must have been that pony, Noteworthy!” Discord nodded, rubbing his white goatee with his claw. “That fellow sure does dislike me.”

  Pinkie Pie shook her head. “What a bunch of dramarama!”

  Discord wasn’t sure what to do. He had really made quite the mess with all his antics at rehearsal. “Normally, a petty little pony activity wouldn’t concern me in the slightest,” he whined. “But I’ve actually become quite attached to the idea of being onstage. It made me feel included.”

  “And we loved having you there, too,” assured Fluttershy. She looked down at the ground, defeated. Her pink mane fell in front of her eyes. “I just wish there was some way for you to be in the show without upsetting everypony.”

  “Like wear a disguise?” asked Pinkie Pie.

  “That’s brilliant!” Discord popped up to his feet. “I can be in the show and investigate who framed me so I can clear my name.” The draconequus disappeared into a puff of smoke. When it cleared, there stood a taupe Unicorn with a black mane and a tornado cutie mark. Discord the pony grinned. “It’s showtime!”

  Discord’s Secret Debut

  Twilight Sparkle stood center stage. The entire Ponyville Players cast was gathered one last time before the big show that evening. She looked out to their excited, nervous faces and smiled.

  “Well, ponies—this is it!” The ponies all hooted, hollered, and stomped their hooves on the ground to applaud. “Before I let you all go and get ready backstage, I have an important announcement.” Twilight motioned for the pony-disguised Discord to stand by her side. He trotted over. “This is Tony Stanza. He just happened to be passing through town on his way back from Manehattan, where he was performing in a Bridleway revival of Les Miser Stables with Countess Coloratura! He has kindly offered to take Discord’s place in the ensemble. Though, I still hope you’ll consider inviting Discord back to the cast.…” Discord was thrilled. Twilight never second-guessed Tony’s story at all.

  “No way! Right, everypony?” shouted Noteworthy. “He would have embarrassed us in front of the other princesses with one of his tricks!” The ponies all nodded and murmured in agreement, still clearly convinced that they knew who was to blame. Twilight looked to Discord, worried his feelings might be hurt. But instead, he looked oddly thrilled.

  “I’m proud of each and every one of you,” announced the princess. “Enjoy yourselves tonight, and break a hoof!”

  It was a fully packed house. The audience was buzzing with enthusiasm as friends from near and far greeted one another and found their seats. The soft sounds of the Ponyville Orchestra warming up their instruments added to the ambience. Rarity stood backstage and pressed her white cheek up to the curtains to peek through, taking extra care not to smudge her heavy stage makeup on the red velvet fabric. “Oh, my stars! Everypony who’s anypony is here tonight. There’s Princess Celestia and Princess Luna…and the Wonderbolts…and Coco Pommel!”

  “Wow! I guess my balloon-o-gram invitations really worked, huh?” Pinkie Pie said, looking satisfied. “Is my sister out there?”

  Rarity scanned the crowd. “Hmmm, well, there’s Hoity Toity…and there’s Tree Hugger.… Oh! There she is!”

  Pinkie Pie popped her head out next to Rarity’s and immediately saw her older sister, Maud Pie, sitting near the back. The gray pony with a light purple mane had an expression on her face completely devoid of emotion. “Awww, she’s so excited to see me perform,” Pinkie cooed.

  Over on the other side of the wings, Pony Discord peeked out from the curtain as well. He stared at Princess Celestia, wondering if she would know that it was him in the show and that he’d kept up with his secret friendship mission. Either way, he decided, it would be fine. He was just glad to be performing tonight with his new Ponyville pals.

  “Hey there!” Noteworthy trotted up to join him. He was wearing his costume—a jaunty waistcoat and straw hat. “Tony Stanza, right?”

  “Indeed,” replied Discord, narrowing his eyes at the pony responsible for turning the others against him. “So, if I may ask…what happened to the poor chap who needed a last-minute understudy?”

  “He was a great singer and dancer, but he kept trying to ruin the scenes with all these silly jokes and pranks,” Noteworthy explained. “He wasn’t being a team player.”

  Twilight Sparkle trotted past with her clipboard. “Five minutes, everypony! Five minutes to curtain!”

  “Are you sure he was responsible for all the pranks?” Pony Discord pried, taking a few steps closer to the blue stallion. “What if it was somepony else who tried to frame him?”

  “Couldn’t be. He causes chaos wherever he goes. Who else could have played those pranks?” Noteworthy made a funny face and looked at Pony Discord a little closer. “Why are you so interested in this anyway?”

  “No reason,” replied Pony Discord. He was sure that this was his stallion. The guy had guilt written all over him. The wheels in Discord’s head were already turning, trying to come up with a way to ge
t back at him. “I suppose we should take our places for the first scene.”

  “Break a hoof!” Noteworthy said, tipping his hat and trotting onstage.

  “Yes, you too.…” said Pony Discord, a devious smile forming on his face. All he had to do was wait for the right moment to embarrass him.

  Showstoppers

  The first act flew by without a hitch. As the curtain lowered down for intermission, Discord couldn’t believe it. He’d been having so much fun that he’d completely forgotten about all the drama. Everypony was busy congratulating one another on a great job so far when Discord noticed a strange-looking pony with aa mustache dressed all in black. The stallion was climbing a ladder up to the rafters and kept looking back over his shoulder.

  Pony Discord nudged Big Mac. “Do you recognize that stagehoof?”

  “Nope,” he said before heading off to change his costume.

  “Everypony needs to hurry and get into their clothes for Act Two!” Twilight hollered. “That means you, too, Dis—I mean Tony Stanza!”

  By the time Discord returned to the stage wearing his new costume, the mysterious pony was gone. Senior Mint, who was in charge of the props, trotted up and passed Pony Discord a trombone and a Trotting Band hat with a red feather plume. “Did you happen to notice a mustachioed stagehoof hanging around here?” Discord asked. “I think he was up to something.…”

  “Only stagehoof we have is Bulk Biceps,” said Senior Mint, pointing his hoof at the muscular white Pegasus with tiny wings.

  Sure enough, he was dressed in all black and was busy lifting a gigantic wooden set piece all by himself. “Yeaaaaaaaaaah!” he grunted, hoisting it onto one shoulder.

  “How peculiar,” mumbled Discord. “Who is that other pony?”

  “Places, everypony!” shouted Rainbow Dash, flying to her own spot for the big Trotting Band scene. “This is gonna be awesome!” The cast scurried across the stage, finding their marks. Discord followed, still trying to figure out if the stallion he’d seen was a figment of his overactive imagination.