Mr. Right

by J. S. Cooper

  “Well, it’s not like you told me anything. Or explained. Or tried to call me. Or text. Or anything.” She pursed her lips and I could see she was upset. “But whatever, it doesn’t matter.”

  “Okay then,” I responded, not really sure what to say. Or how to feel.

  “Okay then? That’s all you have to say?”

  “I don’t know what you want me to say.” I just wanted to touch and kiss her. I didn’t want to think about anything else.

  “Typical.” Her brown eyes looked sad, and I felt something inside of me cringing. I’d hurt her. I didn’t want to hurt her. I didn’t want to feel like I was responsible for making her feel bad.

  “What do you want to talk about?” I asked her, though my insides were rebelling against the words. I didn’t want to talk about anything too deep.

  “Nothing.” She bit down on her lower lip. “It’s obvious to me that you don’t care, so why should I?”

  “Stop playing these games. If you want to talk about something, just tell me. I don’t have time for this.”

  “What do you have time for, Evan?” she snapped and her eyes flashed at me.

  “Some lovemaking.” I winked at her, hoping to make her laugh, but she just shook her head.

  “You’re an asshole.”

  “You want me to do what with your asshole?” My eyes widened as I cracked a joke and she just looked at me and rolled her eyes.

  “I can’t believe you’re anyone’s dad,” she said, shaking her head, and I wanted to respond with, well, why do you then? but I kept my mouth shut. “Still no response?” She looked annoyed. “All you do is crack jokes or make commentaries about sex. Do you have no feelings?”

  “What do you want from me, Jess?” I asked her quietly, suddenly feeling overwhelmed and sad at the situation. And rather confused. I just didn’t know what to think or feel anymore and I hated feeling like I was in this position of powerlessness and out of control. And I was starting to feel like a jerk. And I never felt like a jerk. It’s a weird feeling to have the wind knocked out of you. And that’s what that moment did to me. It made me think and look at everything differently. It made me look at everything through Jess’s eyes. If even for a few brief seconds. And that struck something in me. Something I didn’t want to acknowledge.

  “I don’t want anything. I barely know you.” She shrugged and looked away. “Maybe I should just go.” She stepped towards the door, and I could feel myself panicking.

  “Okay, go,” I said, hating myself for being so cruel, wondering what was wrong with me. Maybe nothing. Maybe everything. I didn’t really want to think about it.

  “You just don’t care, do you?” She sounded exasperated, and as I stared at her face I could see she wasn’t going to start laughing and tell me that she wasn’t really upset. I didn’t really know what she wanted from me, what she could possibly be expecting. It made no sense to me. How could she want something more than what was realistic?

  “I don’t really know what you want me to say.”

  “Just say anything.”

  “If I had something to say, I would say it.” I sighed and then took a deep breath. “Look, Jess, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I’m sorry about how everything has gone down.”

  “Are you? Are you really?”

  “Yes, I am.” I took a deep breath. “Maybe I can take you to lunch or something. Get you to forgive me for being an ass.”

  “You want to take me to lunch?” She looked up at me and I swore I could see eagerness in her eyes. I wasn’t sure if I’d made a mistake. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. It was deviating from the plan. I didn’t want to give her a false expectation of what was going to happen next. I didn’t want to give myself a false expectation either. This wasn’t going to go anywhere. Not least because she had no clue exactly what was going on and when she knew the full truth about the situation, I was pretty sure she would never talk to me again. A dull thud pounded in my heart as I thought about her hating me more than she hated me now.

  “If you’ll let me.” I smiled at her gently. “We had fun the other night. I thought we were starting to get on. I thought we had a connection. I didn’t realize we’d left things so poorly. I didn’t realize that the next time I saw you, it would be this awkward. I’m sorry.”

  “You didn’t call. You didn’t text.”

  “Neither did you,” I said simply.

  “But…” She sighed. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Just say you’ll go to lunch with me.”

  “Fine. I’ll go.”

  “Do you want to go?” I asked her with a small smile.

  “Yes.” She nodded and looked me directly in the eyes. “Maybe I’m crazy, but yes, yes I do.”

  “Good.” I walked over to her, grabbed her arms and pulled her towards me. “Maybe I’m crazy too.”

  “Why do you say that?” she asked as she looked up into my eyes, her lashes batting innocently as she stared at me, searching for answers to questions she wasn’t asking.

  “Because this whole situation just feels like a dream.”

  “It does, doesn’t it?” She laughed and I couldn’t stop myself from leaning down to kiss her hard. Her lips were soft and sweet beneath mine and I breathed in her essence. Oh, how I’d missed her in the last few days. It scared me that I’d missed her. It scared me that I cared, even a little bit. I didn’t want to care. Not at all. Everything was going to shit and I had no idea what I was going to do. No idea at all.

  Part 2

  Evan

  There’s something you should know. Something I should tell you, lest you hate me forever. I’m not Pierce’s dad. I know, I know, what the hell am I saying? How could I not be Pierce’s dad, after everything that’s gone down? You might even be thinking I’m a bigger jerk than you’d previously thought. Though that might not be hard. I’m not going to make a pun about how hard I can get. That wouldn’t be appropriate and you don’t know me well enough for that yet.

  So let me go back to what I was saying. I’m not Pierce’s dad. I know, your mind is all flummoxed. And I know you’re thinking what the hell is going on here? Maybe you’re not thinking that. Maybe you don’t swear or think things like hell. If you’re one of those perfect people, then congrats. I’m pretty confident I’ll never change your mind into thinking I’m an alright sort of guy most of the time. To the rest of you, the ones who are human, and not perfect, let me plead my case before we continue with the story. I need to plead my case now, because I don’t want you to hate me. I don’t want you to think I’m not good enough for Jess. Even though I’m not really good enough.

  Pierce and I are frat brothers. I’m older than him. By a good seven years. I was his house brother when he was in the frat house. I’d been working on my PhD and took the job so I could have a free place to live. Our frat was crazy, as are most frats, and we were immature, as are most guys in college. Okay, we were maybe more immature and we never really grew out of that mentality. Pierce and I and a couple other brothers used to play a game where we would go to a club, see a girl, and guess who we thought she’d hook up with, or when we could get her in bed, or what lies we could convince her were true. Like I said, we were immature and dumb. And still are. Our antics have grown bolder over the years and I’m ashamed to say, we’ve pulled some really shady shit. Like with Jess. Pierce has this thing where he thinks he can get any girl. I have this thing where I think I can get any girl that Pierce thinks he can get. So we made a bet. And to make it more interesting we decided to twist it up. We decided to pick a girl we thought looked like more of an innocent, so that it wouldn’t be in her nature to just ‘cheat’ or flirt with me. And then Pierce had the crazy idea that we should pretend I was his brother or his dad. We jokingly decided upon dad, because I have grey hair, but I never in a billion years would have thought anyone would have bought that story. I mean, it still boggles my mind that Jess actually thinks I’m Pierce’s dad.

  So here’s
the part where I should tell you why I’m explaining everything to you now. I’m in a quandary. I like Jess. And I’m starting to think Pierce is an asshole. I mean, we’re both assholes, but I’m starting to think Pierce was deliberately playing with Jess’s feelings to get another girl jealous. And, well, that pisses me off. Okay, I know I have no reason to be pissed off. I have no reason to feel like I’m better than Pierce. We both got into this shit together. I’m the one who played her. I’m the one who teased and tormented her when she was coming over for Pierce. I know I’m not the good guy here. I know I’ve done and said things I shouldn’t have. Things I can’t take back. Yet, I do feel bad about my actions. I do feel bad about the lies. You should know that. You should know if I had to do it all again, I’d have done a lot of things differently. I wish I could tell you that I was a good guy, that I owned up to my mistakes right away. That I tried to make things better. That I didn’t hurt Jess. Unfortunately, I can’t say that. However, you should know before we go any further that I do have feelings for Jess. I did have feelings for Jess, even before everything went down. It’s true I didn’t know exactly what the feelings meant. It’s true I was caught up in the game. I wasn’t the best guy. A part of me liked playing with her. A part of me enjoyed the back and forth. It made everything really exciting. I’d never had a relationship with someone like I had with Jess. The dynamic was exhilarating: she had the special blend of being naïve, sexy, and winsome. I just couldn’t quite follow her and I enjoyed that challenge. I enjoyed not knowing exactly what she was thinking, yet seeing in her eyes that she was feeling something special. I wanted to let you know I’m not a bad guy, no matter what you might think. I wanted to let you know before we continued. I know my words might not be enough to make you think better of me. I know my words might not make you like me, but I have to try. I have to have someone in my corner. And I feel the need to have you know the truth before I continue. You need to know where I’m coming from. But I digress, in the end nothing really matters aside from what Jess thinks. And what Jess wants. And what Jess feels. And that’s anyone’s guess. I may have really and truly fucked it all up. And I don’t know if I can live with myself if that’s what’s happened.

  Chapter 18

  Evan

  “You’re going out with Jess?” Pierce’s eyes narrowed as he gazed at me with a frown. “Why?”

  “I thought I would take her out for lunch. See how she’s doing?”

  “Why?” He sounded confused. “I just don’t understand why.”

  “I thought I should get to know her, after everything that’s happened.”

  “Do you think that’s a good idea?”

  “I don’t think it’s a bad idea.”

  “Evan…” His lips thinned. “We can’t change the plan now. Don’t be an idiot.”

  “This doesn’t seem right.” I pursed my lips. “She’s not like the others.”

  “So you think we should have gone with Alyssa?”

  “I think we shouldn’t have done it.” I wasn’t sure why all of a sudden I felt bad about our plan. We’d picked up girls at bars before and I’d never had these same concerns, but somehow it felt different with Jess. It felt nastier, meaner in a way.

  “Dude, it’s just for fun. It’s not like we’ve done anything truly wrong.” Pierce gave me a look that showed that he thought I was being an idiot.

  “Pierce,” I said with a sigh, “it doesn’t seem right.” I pursed my lips and stopped myself from continuing. I was the last person to be preaching to Pierce. Especially since I had been the one who had introduced him to the games in college. I’d been the one who had originally come up with all the crazy ways to trick women and ‘test them’.

  “Evan, since when have you cared about what’s right?”

  “We’re not in college anymore.” I sighed, not sure how to explain what I was thinking and going through inside. I didn’t even really know myself.

  “We were never in college at the same time.” I sighed again. “This is a shit show.”

  “I mean, she’s the one who believes you’re my dad. She’s the one who hooked up with you. She’s the one who is still going to go on a date with you.”

  “We haven’t been fair to her.” I knew my words sounded weak.

  “Dude, who cares?” Pierce gave me a look. And I shrugged and shook my head. Why was I bothering? I knew Pierce didn’t care. And why should he? This was just a game to him. Just like it had always been a game to me as well.

  “Who’s the redhead?” I changed the subject. “Seems to me that you haven’t been completely honest yourself. Seems to me that you might have had ulterior motives yourself.”

  “I don’t have any ulterior motives.” He blinked at me. “Dude, this has been a tradition for Sigmas for years. We’re just continuing the tradition.”

  “Aren’t we too old for this?”

  “Maybe you are.”

  “I’m not that much older than you, Pierce.” I rolled my eyes at him.

  “Jess thinks you’re old enough to be my dad.” He started laughing. “I honestly never thought she’d believe that.”

  “I guess I look good for my age.” I grinned at him and then shook my head. “We suck. You know that, right? We really suck.”

  “Nah, you suck a lot more than me.” Pierce shook his head at me and bent down to stroke Squirrel between the ears. “You’re the one who took her.”

  “Took her?”

  “Slept with her.” He put a hand up to high-five me and I ignored him. “I’m shocked she decided on you over me.”

  “Dude, what did you think after you invited her to eat Ethiopian food, like, ten times in a row, knowing she hated it?”

  “All part of the plan, right? How much would she take? What would she do?”

  “Yeah, I suppose. Just seems wrong.”

  “I mean, we both know it’s not like she remained for me. She wasn’t sticking around for me, she was sticking around for you. That should make you feel good.” He made a face. “Every dinner she could barely keep her eyes off of you. I’m not sure who she thought she was fooling.”

  “It doesn’t make me feel good that we’ve been lying to this girl. And I feel like you tried to make her feel like you really cared about her and I feel like you were just using her to make that redhead jealous.”

  “Would I do that?” Pierce laughed.

  “Yes.” I sighed, annoyed. “That’s wrong.”

  “I’m not any more wrong than you are, dude. If anything, you were more fucked up than me. You’re the one who actually bagged her.”

  “Enough.” I sighed again. “I just wanted you to know that I’m going to be taking her to lunch in a few days.”

  “And the point of this is?” His expression changed and he looked annoyed. “What are you hoping is going to happen?”

  “I just want to make sure she feels better about everything going forward. I don’t want her to feel used.”

  “Uh huh. Sure. That’s what you want.”

  “That is what I want.”

  I didn’t normally try and make it better with the women Pierce and I tricked. If tricked was the right word. I didn’t know why I was messing with our normal program. Maybe because this time, it didn’t seem right. Jess wasn’t like the other girls. She seemed liked she was really invested in me. Much more invested than anyone else had been. She had been really upset. Really sad. Really emotional. I had a bad feeling she was really falling for me. And that was something I didn’t want to happen. Something that would make everything a lot more complicated. As if it wasn’t already. I should have known from the moment she’d entered the apartment that day and had given me tit for tat that she was different. I’m not sure why I’d slept with her. I’m not sure why I’d gone along with the whole farce. Pierce and I were too old for this shit now. I still couldn’t quite believe she’d believed that we were related. We didn’t even look alike. And I was nowhere old enough to be Pierce’s dad. I was only seven years older than him. Grante
d I had a few grey hairs, but damn. What was she thinking? I just had no clue. It was almost too easy. Like taking candy from a child. Or rather, like giving candy to a child in a park and leading them off into a van. That’s what it made me feel like: dirty, manipulative and evil. I hated feeling this way. I’d never felt this way before. I don’t know if this meant I was growing a conscience that I’d never had before. I don’t know if this meant I was becoming a man with feelings. That made me cringe. I wanted neither of those things.

  “What’re you going to do if she asks about Linda?”

  “What do you mean?” I blinked at him.

  “I’m not hiring her again.” Pierce shook his head. “That shit cost me five hundred bucks.”

  “Five hundred?” I was shocked he’d paid that much just to have a fake mom at the party.

  “She charged me extra for sleeping over. Even though there was no sex.”

  “You’re the one who wanted to hire someone to play the role of your mom.”

  “Dude, it was classic.” Pierce started laughing. “I just wish I could have seen Jess’s face when she heard that Linda was your ex-wife and I was your son.”

  “I didn’t get to see it either.” I shook my head, though I had a small smirk on my face. “It would have been priceless, I’m sure.”

  “You know it. Shit, we should have had a video camera.”

  “That shit would’ve been super invasive.” I shook my head. “I never would’ve agreed to that.” I let out a huge sigh and stared at Pierce and the huge smile on his face. It made me feel sad and depressed. Had I really been as bad as him?

  “Stop acting like the Pope, dude.” Pierce sounded annoyed. “You got the goodies. Just move on. Why’re you dealing with this chick anymore?”

  “Pierce,” I snapped at him, “enough. I’m not going to explain myself to you anymore. I’m just telling you that I’m taking Jess out and I’m going to try and make this right. What we did was wrong.”

  “Waa waa.” Pierce rolled his eyes. “Whatever, dude. That must have been some good pussy.”