Mr. Right

by J. S. Cooper

  “You’re a pig,” I growled.

  “Yeah, I might be, but then so are you, daaaad.” He started laughing and I just walked away from him, knowing I was never going to get through to him. I didn’t even know why I was even bothering.

  I didn’t know where Jess and I were going to go from here and I didn’t think I could ever tell her the real truth. I didn’t think she’d ever forgive me for having tricked her this badly.

  * * *

  “So this is a nice place, right?” I asked her with a small smile as we sat down at our cosy corner table, the candlelight making everything seem a lot more romantic than I’d anticipated.

  “Yeah, it’s very nice.” Jess adjusted her tight red dress as she sat down and looked up at me with beguiling eyes. “I thought you wanted to do lunch and not dinner?”

  “Well, you know. This seemed to work out better,” I said smoothly, not wanting to be explicit that I thought I had a better chance of getting her back to my bed if we did dinner. Not that I was all about sex, but let’s be real. I’m still a man.

  “If you say so.” She laughed and licked her lips nervously. “You just want to take me to bed again.”

  “Would that be such a bad thing?” I grinned at her, glad she wasn’t naïve enough to not know that. And glad she was bold enough to call me out for it.

  “I don’t know.” She stared at me. “Alyssa, my roommate, would think so.”

  “I know who Alyssa is, but why would she think that?” I raised an eyebrow at her. “She doesn’t like me?”

  “She thinks this whole situation is super weird.”

  “It’s not super weird,” I lied, wondering what Alyssa would think if she knew the real truth. She’d probably kidnap Jess and never let her see me again.

  “Yes, it is.” She sighed and shuffled around in her seat. “It is super duper weird. I don’t even know why I agreed to come with you tonight. I must be crazy.”

  “Didn’t we agree that we’re both crazy together?”

  “Yeah, but I think I’m crazier.”

  “You said that, not me, remember that.” I grinned at her, happy to be here with her and to put my talk with Pierce to the side. I didn’t want to think about anything else, other than this moment. I just wanted to enjoy what we had and live for the fun we could have now. I mean, a part of me wished I could tell Jess the truth. Tell her everything that had happened from the beginning. Explain to her that I’d been playing these games for a long time. Tell her that I used to be a stupid immature frat guy. That my frat brothers and I had played stupid games for many, many years and we’d never really seen a problem with it. I just never thought it was a problem. Never had a guilty conscience about it before. But now, now everything felt different. Everything felt so much more twisted. How could I tell her that I’d been in the club that night? How could I tell her that I’d been with Pierce when he’d selected her to be the girl he went over to that night? How could I tell her that I’d told him to go for Alyssa, but he’d thought Jess would be more of a challenge? How could I tell all of the twisted truth about the games we’d been playing with her? I just didn’t know. I just didn’t know what to say. How could I be honest about everything? She’d never talk to me. And I guess I didn’t really deserve for her to talk to me. I mean, what we’d done was horrible. I realized that now. Maybe the best thing I could do for her and for me was to get her to stop liking me. Maybe I needed to stop being so selfish. I wanted to continue to see her, how badly I wanted to see her and talk to her and watch her smiling and listen to her laughing. How badly I wanted to kiss her and hold her close to me. How badly I wanted to take her to my bed. Only, this time, I wanted it to be soft and gentle and then rough and hard and I wanted to make her scream. I wanted to hear her panting, crying out my name. I wanted to make her beg me to keep going all night long. I wanted for everything to be perfect. Only it was never going to be perfect. And if it was, it would never last. It would never last because there were already too many lies. So maybe it was better for me to just get her to hate me. I knew she was falling for me. I knew I was falling for her. But I’d already gone and fucked it up. I’d already gone and made things shitty. This was no fairytale beginning and there would certainly be no fairytale ending. If I really cared for her, I’d be an ass to keep this charade going. If I really cared for her, the best thing I could do would be to get her to hate me. I’d get her to not want to be with me. It wasn’t fair to her for her to fall deeper for me and I wasn’t sure it was fair for me to dump her, either. It just didn’t seem right. It should be her decision. That would empower her. That would allow her to move on without feeling like there was something wrong with her.

  “You’re supposed to say that I’m not crazy,” she said and laughed, her eyes lighting up as she gazed at me almost adoringly. I knew I was overreacting, but something about her glance made me panic. She was already in far too deep. I could already tell she had feelings. I didn’t want her to have feelings. I didn’t want to break her heart. I didn’t want to be responsible for that.

  “You’re not crazy.” I smiled at her and then, because I didn’t know what else to do, I looked around. I watched as two women walked past us and I smiled widely at the blonde, who was shaking her hips back and forth and giving me a winning smile. I winked at her and she played with her hair and then I turned back to Jess, who was looking at me with an uncertain smile and a slightly jealous glare. “At least that’s what I have to say, right?”

  “Whatever.” She looked away from me and while I felt like shit, I knew I was doing the right thing. If she wanted to think I was a pig and blatant enough to stare at other women, maybe she’d fall out of lust with me. Or whatever it was she was thinking and feeling. I didn’t know. I didn’t care. I didn’t want to know. In fact, I didn’t even want to be in this position. How had I fucked this up so royally?

  “It’s been a while since I’ve felt this way about someone,” I said softly, and looked at Jess, wondering what she was thinking, wanting her to hate me, but not really wanting her to. It was a really complicated situation and I wasn’t sure how to navigate it.

  “Uh huh.” Jess gave me a glance. “I feel like that’s something you say to everyone.”

  “Everyone?” I raised an eyebrow at her. “Really?”

  “How am I supposed to know?” She glared at me. “I don’t really know you, do I?”

  “What do you want to know?” I leaned forward. “You can ask me anything.”

  “Like why didn’t you tell me that you were Pierce’s dad?” She rolled her eyes. “Or that you’ve been lying to me for a long time and playing me.”

  “I wasn’t playing you. What would you have done if you were me, Jess? How was I going to bring that up?”

  “You shouldn’t have flirted with me and when you saw I was reciprocating you should have told me the truth.”

  “Would you have still wanted to get to know me if you would’ve known the truth?” I asked softly. “Like, really? Would you have wanted to know?”

  “What can I say?” She sighed. “Yes, no, I don’t know. I just feel like honesty is the best policy.”

  “I agree it’s the best policy.” I sighed too and wondered if this was the time for me to come out with the full truth about everything. Would she really want to know the truth? Would she ever talk to me again? Would she be forgiving? I already knew the answer to that. I knew she wouldn’t want to have anything to do with me if she knew. And that made me feel sick to my stomach. I knew this would be it. And I just couldn’t have that. Not yet. Not now. I couldn’t deal with losing her. Not when I’d barely had her. I knew it was selfish of me and it wasn’t fair and it didn’t make sense.

  “Why did you invite me to this dinner?” She looked at me expectantly, and I wasn’t really sure what to say.

  “I’m not really sure,” I answered honestly. “I wanted to see you, I suppose. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  “I suppose that’s nice of you.” She made a fac
e and we just stared at each other for a few moments, both of us wondering exactly what we were doing there. I knew that that wasn’t the answer she wanted to hear. I knew that both of us really didn’t know what we were doing there, what we wanted to happen, what we thought could happen. And at that point I didn’t care. At that point all I wanted was another opportunity to get her into my bed.

  “Yeah, everyone knows I’m a nice guy,” I said with a small laugh and then reached under the table and ran my hand up her leg and didn’t stop until I reached the top of her thigh. I saw her eyes widening as I ran my fingers down the middle of her legs and she gasped as I rubbed gently. “Wouldn’t you agree?” I said with a wink and licked my lips slowly as she gazed at me with desire in her eyes and she moved her body back and forth slowly.

  * * *

  “Where are we going?” Jess giggled tipsily as we walked out of the restaurant, feeling lighthearted from copious amounts of wine and good food.

  “It’s a surprise.”

  “A surprise, huh?” She turned her head to look at me and gave me a sweet smile. There was a sparkle in her eyes that made me smile back widely at her and I wondered what I was doing. Wasn’t I supposed to be turning her off of me? Not making her fall for me harder.

  “Yes, a surprise. Don’t you like surprises?”

  “I love surprises,” she said again and she reached over and grabbed my hand before pulling it away quickly. “Oops, sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry,” I said, my heart thudding. I hadn’t held hands with a girl in years and it made me feel uncomfortable. “Come, let’s cross the street before the lights change,” I said and started jogging across the street. I watched as she ran in her heels slightly clumsily and she gasped when she met me over on the other side.

  “We could’ve waited for the lights to change again,” she said as she stared at me, and I looked down at her legs for a few seconds before responding.

  “We could have, but we didn’t,” I said with a small smile. “Now, come on, let’s go.”

  “I don’t even know where we’re going,” she said, pursing her lips and mumbling something under her breath.

  “What are you mumbling?” I asked her, and she shook her head.

  “Nothing.”

  “Uh huh.” I licked my lips. “Don’t make me spank the answer out of you.”

  “Spank the answer out of me?” She gave me a look and started laughing. “You wish.”

  “Do I really?” I asked her and stared down at her ass.

  “Yes.” She giggled and I reached over and grabbed her and pulled her towards me for a long, deep kiss. “Oh, Evan.” She sighed as she wrapped her arms around my neck. My hands fell to her ass and squeezed slightly and her body melted into mine. I could feel myself growing hard at the feel of her body against mine and all I wanted her to do was lift her dress up and pull her panties to the side so I could take her. I didn’t even care that we were still in the street. I didn’t care that it would be entirely inappropriate of me to do anything. Inappropriate and selfish.

  “What are you doing, Evan?” She wiggled against my body and I held her closer to me. “Was this the surprise?”

  “Do you want this to be the surprise?” I whispered against her lips, breathing her in. “Do you want me to take you right now?”

  “We’re in the street.” Her eyes widened.

  “So?” I bit down on her lower lip. “How hot would it be if I fucked you right here and now, quickly, so quickly that no one would even know? Only us.”

  “I’m not an exhibitionist.” She tried to step back, and I watched as she swallowed hard. “I would never do that.”

  “I’m sure there are many things you said you’d never do before.” I gazed into her eyes.

  “Like sleep with my kinda-boyfriend’s dad?”

  “Yeah, like that.” My heart dropped. I really didn’t want to keep that lie going anymore, but I didn’t know how to let her know the truth.

  “I don’t want to keep doing things I don’t think I should be doing.” She licked her lips nervously.

  “Why not?” My hands slid up her waist and towards her breasts.

  “Because that’s not who I am.”

  “That’s not who I am either.”

  “You’re a player,” she said softly. “You’re playing games with me.”

  “You’re playing games with me as well.”

  “I don’t know what we’re doing here.” She sighed and I could see she was starting to think too much.

  “Neither do I, but maybe we don’t have to know.”

  “Yeah, maybe we don’t have to know.” She made a face. “What am I doing?” She made a moaning noise and looked up at me. “I think I might be crazy. Like certifiably crazy.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m here with you and I have no idea what we’re doing or what I’m doing and I just don’t know.” She groaned and licked her lips nervously again. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you this.”

  “I’m glad you’re telling me. I’m glad you’re open with me,” I told her honestly.

  “Why?” she asked, batting her eyelashes up at me.

  “I don’t know.” I sighed and then pulled away. I reached down and grabbed her hand. “Come with me, though. I want to take you somewhere.” Her hand felt small and warm in mine and I held it tighter as I led her to one of my favorite places in the city.

  “Where are we going?”

  “You’ll see,” I said as we walked. We got to the park entrance and I saw the confused look on her face as I escorted her through the gates.

  “We’re going to the park?” she asked me as she walked quickly.

  “Don’t you like feeding ducks?” I teased.

  “What are we going to feed the ducks?” she said slowly. “And are they even awake right now?”

  “Hmm, that’s a good point,” I said with a laugh. “I was going to feed you to the ducks, but maybe they’re sleeping right now.”

  “You were going to feed me to the ducks?” she said breathlessly.

  “Yeah, but I decided I wanted to have you all to myself.”

  “So you’re going to feed me to yourself?” she said slowly and then laughed. “Does that sentence even make sense?”

  “If you’re asking if I’d like to eat you, then the answer is yes, and yes it makes sense.”

  “Oh,” she said breathlessly, and I laughed.

  “Don’t worry, that’s not what’s going to happen right now, though. We’re not about to go and have orgasms in the grass, though I think that would be amazing fun.”

  “Evan,” she groaned.

  “That’s my name. Next time you say it, you’ll be screaming.”

  “Evan,” she said again softly and giggled. “Sorry, not screaming.”

  “Funny.” I laughed. “Let’s see if you’ll be giggling later.”

  “Why, what’s going to be happening later?”

  “You’ll see,” I said and then stopped suddenly. “Okay, close your eyes now.”

  “Close my eyes?” She looked at me with wide eyes. “Why?”

  “Because…”

  “Because why?”

  “Because I said so.”

  “That’s not a good enough reason for me to close my eyes.”

  “Stop being difficult, Jess.”

  “I’m not being difficult.” She made a face at me. “You’re the difficult one. Tell me why I’m closing my eyes and then I’ll decide if I want to do it.”

  “Just trust me.”

  “Why should I trust you?”

  “Because I’m asking you to, quite nicely as well.”

  “And that’s a good enough reason?”

  “I think so? Don’t you?”

  “You’ve already lied to me once.” She made a face at me, and I almost laughed at the cute expression she was making. I would have laughed if the truth of the matter wasn’t that I’d actually lied to her more than once and that the biggest lie was still outstanding
. How could I tell her that? I just couldn’t tell her that.

  “Jess, please?”

  “Fine. Fine. Fine.” She put her hands on her hips and glared at me. “If you dump me in any water, I will scream and never talk to you again.”

  “Why would I dump you in any water?”

  “I don’t know.” She pursed her lips. “But I know you guys. You always do dumb things.”

  “I’ve done plenty of dumb things in my life, yes. But I promise you that I will not be dumping you in any water tonight.”

  “Okay, good,” she said and then slowly closed her eyes. “Oh, my God,” she mumbled as I grabbed her hands and started guiding her slowly. “I hope I won’t regret this.”

  “You won’t,” I said and then started humming Frank Sinatra’s song, “Strangers in the Night”. I felt quite calm and happy, and oddly excited. I wasn’t sure why, but I was enjoying myself. I was enjoying being in this moment. And it had nothing to do with my sexual attraction to her. It had nothing to do with me wanting her. It was just that I enjoyed her company. She was a girl. And I was a boy. And we had this weird connection. And while it was definitely weird, it was unique and special and I didn’t want to question it. Or her. I just wanted to be in this moment and enjoy myself. I didn’t want to think about what was going to happen if and when she found out the truth. I knew I was going back and forth on what I should expect from her and how I should treat her, but I couldn’t stop myself. While I knew the best thing for her would be to forget me, I also knew I didn’t want to just give her up that easily. It was too hard. It wasn’t something I wanted to do. I just didn’t know how to continue in this situation. I didn’t want to be selfish and hurt her, but I also just couldn’t give her up. She was like a drug to me. She was something I was already craving. I needed for her to be some part of my life. In this moment. Just until I’d had enough of her. Once I’d had enough of her, then I could give her up and everything would be okay. I just wasn’t sure if that meant both of us would be devastated by the end. I knew I was a horrible man. I knew that in every fiber of my being. However, I just didn’t know how to not be that man. I’d been him for all of my life.