by Auriane Bell
“Mairin... please,” he begged. He had held his breath for several moments, but now it had turned heavier than before and every soft pant brushing over her cheek sent a tingling sensation down her neck.
Then she felt the warmth pressing against her lower body, against the only place where she was actually wearing clothes, and she realised that her assumption had been as wrong as it could have been. Feeling the heat rise to her cheeks she knew with certainty that her face was turning red and without thinking twice she put her arms around Adrijan’s neck and pulled him down, forcing him to put his head next to hers so he could no longer look at her.
“Are you deliberately trying to kill me?” he whispered into her ear.
Mairin was aware that he could have forced his way out of her embrace, yet he refrained from doing so.
“I’m... I’m not doing anything.”
It was a petty excuse.
She tried to keep her own breathing steady and ordinary but she would’ve had to deceive herself to believe that it was working.
“Adrijan…” she whispered. “What now?”
Engelin didn’t get far. Regretfully the immortal shook his head. Only a child would expect to be able to escape a grown up man. Even if she hadn’t tripped over her own feet he would have caught up to her in no time – if he had decided on pursuing her. Seeing the need to help Engelin now, he rushed to her side and gently helped the girl back up. Engelin silently whimpered but stubbornly proved to him that she was able to stand without his support.
“You didn’t have to run away, princess. There’s nothing in the kitchen I would miss.”
Despite his friendliness he discovered a sullen look on her face and he knew she would have continued running if she had been able to.
“What’s wrong, princess?”
Unaware of what it would do to her, the girl attempted to stamp her foot. Vivian quickly grabbed her upper arm as her leg gave in.
“I’m not a princess!” she complained in pain, acting as if she hadn’t even needed his assistance.
“Oh?” he asked, carefully letting go of her arm.
Engelin vehemently shook her head.
“I’m at least a queen,” she declared and the way she did he thought she certainly had the necessary demeanour.
“Shouldn’t you be with your wife?”
Vivian frowned. She was indeed a little queen.
“No, she didn’t want me,” he explained truthfully, curious about the child’s reaction.
“So I see,” she replied.
Vivian shrugged.
“Let me take a look at your ankle in the infirmary,” he suggested. “I’ll carry you there.”
Engelin turned up her nose at him. “I think not.”
“Don’t you want to ride on the shoulders of a king?” Vivian tried to tempt her.
She had kept playing the queen even though she had to be in pain and he couldn’t just leave her where she was.
Determined the little girl crossed her arms. “Shouldn’t you put on some clothes first?”
He hadn’t even thought about it but now that she had reminded him of it he realised that he was only wearing a pair of jeans.
“Lend me your shawl then, my queen,” he teased her and knelt in front of her to receive the piece of clothes. Children could certainly be difficult to deal with. At the moment though, he didn’t have anything better to do and the cake would still be there when he had treated the injury.
Engelin put her shawl around his shoulders and hobbled around him to climb on his back. Vivian carefully stood up and started walking.
“Don’t touch me anywhere funny,” Engelin warned him.
Vivian rolled his eyes. Did she take him for a paedophile?
“Don’t worry,” he sighed, wondering what had happened to his pleasurable mood.
Mairin’s voice lulled him in, as did the closeness of her body, the softness of her breast and the delicious smell that seemed to be caught in the sea of her curls. Adrijan blew a gentle kiss on her cheek, eliciting Mairin a sweet sigh. She turned her head away from him, perhaps still somehow aware of what was happening. Again he kissed her, this time behind her ear.
A quiet moan escaped her lips, making it increasingly difficult for him to hold back.
He sensed how her grip on his back had changed. She was still holding him down but her hands had become more demanding.
Adrijan wanted to continue. He felt that he would burst into a million pieces if he couldn’t, but just at that very moment everything came back to him.
The wedding was over. Mairin had accepted Vivian.
He had been asked to come because of the state she was supposedly in but instead of helping her he had ended up in… this. It was wrong to go on without clarifying various things. First and foremost he wanted to know why she was naked and why she was letting him do this.
Adrijan jumped up from the bed, meticulously making certain not to look at her and drew away the blanket she was lying on.
Mairin was forced to roll over and before she could voice a complaint she was covered up to her nose by the duvet. Her gaze was directed towards Adrijan who was standing in front of the door, facing away from her.
“Vivian fetched me because you weren’t feeling well. Is any of that true?”
He sounded hurt and the tone of his voice indicated that he was on edge.
Mairin thought about her response before replying.
“It’s true that I wasn’t feeling well, but by the time Vivian had left, everything had been more or less settled,” she admitted shyly.
“So… everything went well?” he asked. “Am I supposed to be some sort of side dish?”
“What do you mean?” she didn’t like what he was implying.
“The… wedding night.”
“For me it did go well,” she snapped at him. Why was he acting like this now? Wasn’t it the total opposite to what he had done only moments ago?
“Very well. Then I’ll take my leave.”
Was he thinking that she had slept with Vivian?
“Wait…” she said, regretting her outburst.
Adrijan was already at the door but it didn’t budge.
“It’s locked,” Adrijan grumbled, turning to try his luck with the door through which she had entered the room.
“That one is locked too,” Mairin remarked. “I guess he wants us to talk things through.” Thinking of Vivian she realised that the water was still running.
“Would you hand me that shirt?” She freed her arm to point at the piece of clothes she had wanted to slip into when Adrijan had interrupted her.
He picked it up and handed it to her with a questioning look she deliberately ignored.
Mairin was glad that the source of light hadn’t increased since Vivian had turned it on and hurriedly put on the oversized T-shirt. She felt embarrassed in front of Adrijan but forced herself to get up and walk to the bathroom to turn off the tap.
It didn’t make much of a difference that she had changed into the shirt. Although it was at least three sizes too big for her she might as well not have put on anything.
Adrijan followed Mairin with his gaze. He could still clearly make out the fine lines of her enticing curves. If possible, the plain shirt had even added to her allure.
“Were you planning on taking a bath? I can go wait on the balcony if you like.”
“Oh-no, it was for Vivian.”
“Vivian? I see…”
It was no wonder that he had wanted to take a bath after…
Adrijan didn’t complete the thought. He regretted deeply not being able to run away.
“Adrijan… we only talked.”
“Are you always naked when you talk?”
When she abruptly turned to him, her face had darkened and she rewarded him with an icy glare.
“Uh-huh. The first thing I do when entering a conversation is to undress. Didn’t you know? It helps me be at ease.”
Adrijan frowned. Wasn’t he the one
who had all reason to be hostile?
“What have I done to you to earn such a reaction?”
“You didn’t believe me.”
“How could I?”
“You-“ Mairin swallowed down the reply she had wanted to give and served him another.
“Vivian and I… we only talked. I told him I couldn’t do what was expected of me and he accepted it. He even said that he was glad.”
“Glad?”
Mairin pursed her lips and remained silent. It seemed that for some reason she didn’t want to explain it to him. Perhaps it was better to ask Vivian.
Adrijan searched his pockets for his mobile until he remembered that he had given it to his brother. The whole situation was giving him a headache. It was difficult to continue arguing with Mairin when he was rather in the mood to hide in a dark corner. He let out a deep, desperate sigh.
“So… why couldn’t you do it?”
“I don’t love him.”
“And you only realised that in the wedding night?” his tone was sharper than intended but he couldn’t help himself.
“No. I knew that before, but I thought loving you was enough to sacrifice myself.”
Adrijan pulled up one eyebrow, wondering if what she had said was good or bad.
“Why would I have wanted you to sacrifice yourself? And what advantage could I possibly have gained from it?”
He had asked the important questions, but not the one that had interested him the most.
“After what happened I realised that you didn’t want me and I thought I could perhaps not only extend Vivian’s life span but yours as well. You wouldn’t have had to… take anyone’s life for a while then.”
“I don’t want you? Nevermind that.” Adrijan shook his head. “Is that what you told Vivian as well? Your plan, I mean.”
“Mhm…”
“What did he say?”
“He changed my view of what you were doing…”
Adrijan was curious about how Viv had achieved that but felt that he wouldn’t get a more elaborate explanation.
“And now?”
“What do you mean?”
“What do you think of me now?”
“I was just terrified of the incident concerning Mrs Crouse… of your habit of taking people’s lives.”
“Ah... Perhaps it would have been better for you not to find out about that then.”
It was frustrating how she had avoided answering the question properly.
“No, I had to know. I’m alright with it now – as alright as one can be. Adrijan, I’m sorry for hurting you.”
He wasn’t entirely convinced but for the sake of setting an end to this bothersome mood he was willing to believe her.
“So am I. I’m sorry for making you see things you weren’t supposed to see and… well… for what happened earlier,” he gestured at the bed with a nod of his head and Mairin’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
Adrijan turned his back on her.
“Are we there yet?”
The last occasion included, Engelin had asked the same question at least a dozen times.
“Just through the door over there and I will put you down.”
The girl had started to fidget which had made it increasingly difficult to carry her upstairs. Vivian reckoned that either her pain had grown after the initial shock had subsided, or that she had perhaps really started to worry about his intentions.
“I’m a doctor,” he said. “We’ll make you better in no time.”
Perhaps ‘in no time’ was exaggerated.
“A doctor, a king… and a horsey,” Engelin murmured sounding hardly impressed. “How nice.”
Vivian frowned. He would have a word with Änlin about her method of education.
Once they reached the infirmary he put the girl down as promised. Engelin hobbled towards the chair, whispering a few words when she wasn’t clenching her teeth in pain.
“… Mutter der Barmherzigkeit.”
“What did you say?”
Engelin lowered herself on the seat, letting out a sigh.
“Hilf, Maria es ist Zeit, Mutter der Barmherzigkeit,” she repeated her words lackadaisically. “Don’t you speak any German?”
Vivian ignored the dig at him.
“Who taught you that prayer? Was it your mother?”
“Life did,” she said, smiling innocently.
A shiver went down his spine. Something wasn’t right.
“I know that prayer too,” he said deliberately nonchalantly, choosing his words with caution.
“Oh?” the girl only seemed to show little interest.
He pulled another chair close and after he had sat down he took off her shoe to examine her foot.
“Did your priest teach you?”
Was she asking because she felt the need to talk?
“No.”
“A friend?”
“Mhm.”
“Ah.”
“Ah?”
“A lover, right?”
“A girl your age shouldn’t say something like that.”
“You mean I shouldn’t speak the truth because I’m a child?”
“No, I meant…” Vivian sighed. Perhaps he should have left Engelin standing in the corridor in front of the kitchen. His day was clearly turning from bad to worse and his only physical exercise had been carrying a child through his castle instead of enjoying the wedding night with his newest bride. If his plans had succeeded, then he was even being cheated on this very moment. Vivian almost felt sorry for himself.
Carefully he tilted Engelin’s foot, trying to locate the injury.
Suddenly the girl shrieked.
Whatever he had done, he certainly hadn’t provoked that kind of reaction. He was getting tired of playing games. Gently he put down her foot, washed his hands and went over to the safe to retrieve the hour glass. If the girl was up to something then he would find out soon enough.
It was easier for Mairin to ask once Adrijan’s gaze was no longer resting on her.
“Why did your body react to me if you don’t have any feelings for me?”
Mairin nervously swallowed. She could hardly wait for his reply but Adrijan took his time.
“Or… is that normal?” she added shyly, suddenly mortifyingly aware of her inexperience.
Again moments went by in silence.
“Could you please give me an answer before I die of embarrassment?” she whispered.
“Do you really love me?” his voice sounded hoarse.
“Yes,” she said. “For some weird reason I do.”
“Some weird reason, hm?” he replied.
Mairin sighed. “I didn’t really choose to but now I wish this or that would’ve turned out differently.”
“Tell me what then…”
She had already admitted so many things tonight yet Adrijan’s request made her feel obliged to continue in that manner. In the end, another misunderstanding – clearly the mother of all evil – had to be avoided. With a sigh she squeezed her eyes shut and upon opening them again continued.
“I wish you were the master of Mondstein castle. Then I could’ve married you without a thought of regret and I would be lying in your arms right now instead of standing here freezing and feeling like an idiot.”
There, she had said it.
When Adrijan turned to face her she was unable to interpret the look in his eyes. He was staring at her but didn’t move, as if he couldn’t quite make up his mind.
Then he came one step closer before stopping again. If the ripples on the floor hadn’t still been visible, Mairin would’ve thought to have imagined it.
“Can I…?” he asked.
“What’s that?”
Vivian was wondering if Engelin really didn’t know what he was holding in his hands.
“It’s a modern tool for curing injuries,” he explained, putting on a fake smile.
“Does it hurt?”
Her voice bore the child-like fear of something unknown a
nd Vivian thought that if she was indeed acting, she was acting well.
“Not at all,” he assured her. “Let me show you.”
Mairin’s gentle nod helped him to push forward. This time he intentionally swept Vivian’s wife off her feet, lifting her up by putting one hand under her legs and the other behind her back. It offered him relief to feel Mairin’s arms around his neck. It wasn’t her weight that was such a burden on him, but the fear that he had misunderstood the gesture or that his courage wouldn’t last.
Not unlike watching himself in a dream he carried Mairin towards the bed. She did nothing to object, but the mere sight of what had been prepared for the wedding pair caused Adrijan to change his mind. He turned and directed his steps towards the spacious balcony, realising that for now it was the farthest he could get away from what was rekindling this disturbing feeling of jealousy.
As he carefully moved through the narrow door, Mairin drew her legs closer to the body and held on tight to support him, performing another gesture that helped him to keep up his spirits.
The same starry sky that illuminated the bedroom also extended out on the balcony, yet Adrijan’s steps no longer triggered the extravagant ripple effect on the floor. Nervously he proceeded towards his destination, continuously fighting his uneasiness.
Despite his efforts he could neither forget about Mairin’s almost complete bareness nor the unfathomable nature of his own intentions. He lowered himself onto the sway and inhaled deeply, still expecting Mairin to resist. Gently and very cautiously he put her down on his lap and was delighted to notice that the only change resulting from his actions was a faint rosy shine that had appeared on her cheeks.
Considering her feelings he was wondering if he should offer her to stop but Mairin shyly snuggled against him and rested her head on his shoulder, once again keeping him from suggesting something he would have surely regretted.
Adrijan was tense and for the hundredth time tried to ascertain Mairin’s well-being. He noticed her faint shivering and drew a blanket that he discovered on the swing over her. Only then, when he thought she felt more comfortable, covered and warmed by the duvet, he turned his face towards hers, set on finally going for the kiss he had denied himself for that long.
