Can't Walk Away

by Molly McLain

  He arched an eyebrow. “Usually?”

  She twisted her lips to one side. “I’ve only started one fire. In college. I left my fork on a paper plate of leftover spaghetti that I put in the microwave.”

  “Ouch.”

  “Yeah, but it all worked out, because—” No! Do not tell him about that rookie firefighter! “Because it was only a small fire. Contained and all that.” Still big enough to set off the sprinkler system in her dorm, but that was a minor detail he didn’t need to know about.

  Nick laughed. “Maybe we should get you plastic utensils just in case.”

  She laughed too. “I promise I’m much more responsible now.”

  “Good to know.” He winked and her cheeks heated. “Hey, would you want to grab a bite to eat or something sometime? You know, get to know each other a little better since we’ll be sharing this laundry room for at least the next six months?”

  Bad idea. Bad, bad idea. “Sure. Sounds fun.” God.

  He flashed another grin and dug his phone from his pocket. “What’s your number?”

  She rattled it off, trying to ignore the twist of guilt in her gut. It didn’t let up. “You know, maybe coffee would be a better choice.”

  He nodded. “Yeah, sure. Sounds good.” He didn’t seem put out in the least, so maybe he wasn’t actually hoping to pick her up. In that case, she felt stupid for assuming the invitation meant something else. And that itself was stupid because she had nothing to feel guilty about. The only stipulation she and Mark had agreed to was no other sexual partners.

  When they were seeing each other.

  Which they weren’t.

  And even if they had been, there was nothing saying she couldn’t have dinner or coffee or even a full-fledged date with another man.

  Only she didn’t want to see anyone else. Not even a hunky firefighter who seemed like a perfectly nice guy.

  Damn you, Mark Dunn! You’ve ruined me!

  “What was that?”

  Crap, had she said that last bit out loud? Ally blinked up to find a curious smile tugging at the corners of Nick’s full, gorgeous mouth. “Um...nothing. Just remembered that I have something in the oven. Better get back to it before it’s ruined.”

  His grin hitched higher. “Well, it was nice to finally meet you. Maybe we should come up with a laundry schedule or something. So we’re not hovering over each other at the same times.”

  “Let’s discuss it when we have coffee.”

  He nodded and his eyes fell down the length of her body, making her shiver. “The sooner the better then. How about I call you tomorrow?”

  She nodded too, because it was at that moment she remembered—she wasn’t wearing a bra. And the shivers...well, they’d done things to her nipples.

  Nick’s eyes stopped on her chest on their way back up and a dimple popped in his cheek. “Night, Ally.”

  And that didn’t help. She wrapped her arms around her stupid boobs and ducked under his arm into the hall. “Nice to meet you, too.”

  “Likewise.”

  Ugh.

  She hurried to her apartment, pasting on a smile and giving him a little wave, as she closed—and locked—the door behind her. Of course that was ridiculous, because Nick wasn’t going to creep in on her.

  This was her own guilt. For what reason, she had no idea. She wasn’t interested in Nick and maybe that was the problem. Maybe she should be. He was hot, for God’s sake. And possibly interested in her.

  But the new fire chief wasn’t the man she thought about when she climbed into bed a bit later to read while her comforter dried. And he wasn’t the man she thought about when the couple in the book got dirty on top of the kitchen counter. He definitely wasn’t the man whose fingers she imagined sliding into her as she fell back on the pillows and slipped her own hand into her panties.

  Three minutes later, panting and sated, she threw an arm over her face and kicked a heel into the mattress. “Fuck!”

  She’d gotten herself off like this every night for the past week and she’d only needed her vibrator once. It was too damn easy when, every second of the day, her mind was on Mark. How much she missed him and how much she wanted to give in and say to hell with the past month.

  But watching him walk out of the coffee shop day in and day out, knowing he wouldn’t call or text later, was already hard enough to swallow. Knowing he’d continue to keep her at an emotional distance if she slept with him again would go down as easy as the gigantic herbal supplement she’d started taking to curb her down mood.

  A mood he’d put her in, the jerk.

  Ugh, that wasn’t fair. She’d played right along the past twelve months, enjoying the comfortable groove they’d fallen into. Thinking she was content with what they had and what they didn’t.

  But she wasn’t content. Not by a long shot.

  She’d fallen in love with a man who didn’t love her back.

  Chapter Four

  One day.

  That’s how long he’d been able to stay away from Ally. And he hadn’t even done it on purpose.

  Mark had been called out to investigate a B&E on the east end of the county before he’d had a chance to drop into Cedar Street for his daily cup of joe. By the time he’d come back through town in the afternoon, Ally’s car was already gone from the shop’s back parking lot.

  Yeah, he’d looked. He’d refrained from driving by her new apartment though. She’d already busted him checking in on her once. He didn’t dare get caught a second time. Not when Ally was still so skittish.

  By the time Friday morning rolled around, he was so jacked to see her that he’d nicked the shit out of his face shaving. He looked like a pimple-faced, fucking teenager and his heart raced like one too, when he opened the door to Cedar Street, determined that today would be the day he finally made another move.

  He’d given her the time she’d asked for...sorta.

  Tonight was his cousin Tony’s surprise birthday party. All his friends were going to be there and since Tony’s girlfriend Nicole and Ally had become close, Ally would probably be there, too. Might as well let her know they’d run into each other to avoid any awkwardness. And maybe...just maybe...she’d let him buy her a drink.

  The sound of her laughter filled the coffee shop as soon as he stepped inside. It was still early, so the place wasn’t busy and he assumed she and Gladys were dishing about their favorite sitcoms from the night before.

  But Gladys stood behind the counter alone. And Ally...

  Ally was sitting in a fucking booth with the new fire chief.

  That dirty, rotten bastard.

  Nick threw his hands in the air and made an explosion sound, and Ally’s red ponytail danced along the nape of her pale, slender neck as she laughed. She had her back to the door, but since she was on the clock—or at least, should have been—he expected she’d at least turn to acknowledge him.

  She didn’t.

  Because apparently Nick was too goddamn fascinating. He should smash the guy’s nose just like old times.

  He didn’t though. Fucking badge. Instead, he stalked to the counter where Gladys waited with an uneasy expression on her face.

  “Morning, Sheriff,” she greeted him, her eyes darting to the booth and then back again. Probably wondering if he was gonna make a scene or let the show go on.

  “Morning, Glad. Working alone today?” He slid out his wallet with one ear to the conversation a few feet away. Nick was telling Ally about some training he’d had recently. Something had gone wrong and—imagine that—Nick had to save the friggin’ day.

  Bastard.

  His pansy-ass training had nothing on the shit Mark had dealt with in Iraq, but that wasn’t something he’d ever dream of telling Ally about, let alone pat himself on the back for.

  “Nah, Ally’s just on a break.” Gladys blinked up at him. Waiting for the bomb that was his ego to explode like one of Nick’s arrogant gestures.

  “It’s only eight o’clock. Break time already?” Tossin
g some cash on the counter, he arched an eyebrow.

  “She’s having a bad morning. I told her to take it easy.”

  “Bad how?”

  Gladys shrugged as she counted his change. “Don’t know. She’s just out of sorts.”

  “Looks fine to me,” he snipped, bitterness dripping off of every word.

  “She always looks fine to you, Sheriff.” Gladys gave a gentle smile. “You might want to remind her of that.”

  “Planned on it, but—”

  “No ‘buts’. Just do it. Before it’s too late.”

  Too late? Fuck that.

  As Gladys made his coffee, he kept his back to the booth and counted to ten, steeling his composure so when he finally did greet the duo, like any small town sheriff would greet the patrons of a quiet coffee shop, Ally didn’t notice his discomfort. Or his jealousy.

  “Sheriff!”

  Shit.

  “Hey, man, how’s it going?” Nick called before Mark had fully prepared himself.

  He turned and flashed a grin that tasted like shit. A grin Ally didn’t see because she seemed to be making a concerted effort not to look at him. “It’s going. How about you? Settling into the new gig all right?”

  “You know it.” Nick stretched his Hulk-like arms across the back of the booth and, it was in that moment, Mark knew Gladys was right—his time was ticking. The cocky glint in the firefighter’s eyes promised as much.

  So he strolled over to the table and, though his fingers itched to touch Ally and stake some sort of claim, he resisted. He settled for another smile instead. This one just for her. And one that tasted a whole lot sweeter.

  “Hey, Al,” he said in a soft, intimate tone that finally had her glancing up at him. Her sooty eyelashes batted against her pale, freckled cheeks as she blinked and did her best to give him the same easy smile. She failed, and he noticed the fine tremor in her pretty pink lips immediately. Made him want to lean in and kiss them. Help them relax a bit.

  “Hey,” she said and, hot damn, if she wasn’t breathless. The tiny pulse in her neck beat frantically and all he could think about was putting his lips against that tempting patch of skin. Right there in the middle of the coffee shop. “You didn’t come in yesterday.”

  “Paged out as soon as I got into the office. I almost called...” He lifted a shoulder and let the confession drop. What would she do with it?

  “Not necessary.”

  Not the reaction he’d hoped for.

  She slid out of the booth and shot Nick another awkward smile. “Thanks for the coffee.”

  He winked. “Not quite what I had in mind when I suggested we grab a cup. Might have to rethink that dinner proposition after all.”

  Oh, hell no. Mark cleared his throat. “Al, do you have a minute? I wanted to talk to you about tonight.”

  “What about tonight?” she asked, her shoulders pulled back, her chin high.

  “Nicole’s got that thing planned for Tony’s birthday and—”

  “I know. Don’t worry, Sheriff—I won’t need another escort home.”

  Maybe I want to escort you home, woman. Ever think of that? “Didn’t think you would.”

  “Good.” She started to move away, but he stepped in her way, heedless to the fact that Nick hung onto every word of their conversation. “Don’t do this right now, okay?” she begged.

  “Give me five minutes. Some place private.”

  She glared up at him, those warm, hazel eyes blazing. “I gave you twelve months.” Then she shoulder checked him—fucking shoulder checked him—as she moved past. All one hundred and thirty pounds of her squaring off against his eighty pound advantage. Damn, she was a pistol.

  “You and Ally got something going on?” Nick asked, pulling Mark from his shocked stupor.

  The last person he wanted to explain himself to was a guy he used to despise. A guy who seemed to be moving in on the woman he loved. Instead of giving the prick the time of day, he turned and took off after Ally.

  Gladys pointed to the kitchen and he accepted the invitation to go behind the counter. He found Ally bent over the stainless steel table in the middle of the room, squeezing chocolate icing onto a batch of cupcakes.

  “You know what really sucks?” she asked without looking up at him.

  “What?” He leaned against the double oven, clenching his hands that so badly wanted to touch her.

  “There’s a perfectly nice man out there who’s interested in me. He’s got a good job, he uses bleach and fabric softener on his laundry, and he’s asked me to have dinner with him twice now.” She blew a strand of hair from her face and finally made eye contact. Her cheeks were flushed and that fire still flickered in her eyes. Friggin’ beautiful. “But I have no desire to share more than a cup of coffee with him. You know why?”

  He had a pretty good idea, but he asked anyway. “Why?”

  She stared for two long beats. “Because the only man I want is you.”

  “Then have me, Ally. I’m sorry I pulled back. It was stupid and—”

  “How would things between us be any different this time around?” She shook her head and wet her lips. “I mean, how is it even possible?”

  It’d be a helluva lot different. They’d make it official, for one, and not only would there be no sex with other people, but there’d be no coffee dates either. Not unless it was between the two of them.

  “Your job is the same. You’re the same,” she said and he immediately bristled.

  “What the hell does that mean?”

  “I want more than sex.”

  “So do I.”

  “You’re not capable of it.”

  What. The. Fuck. He pushed off the stove, a slow wave of heat rising up his neck. “Excuse me?”

  Her eyes widened slightly and she glanced down to the cupcakes. “That came out harsher than I meant for it to.”

  Didn’t matter. “You still meant it.”

  She swallowed and, just like that, went back to avoiding eye contact again. A dead giveaway of her true feelings on the matter, and didn’t that just eat the shit out of his ego?

  “I’m outta here.” He turned on his boots and started for main part of the shop. “Don’t worry about running into me at Tony’s gig tonight. I’m not going.”

  “Mark, you have to go. He’s your cousin.”

  “He’ll understand. Apparently I’m an asshole like that anyway.”

  “I didn’t say that—”

  He didn’t hear the rest because he was already halfway to the front door, past Gladys and past the handful of patrons, who stopped their conversation to witness his very pissed off, very unprofessional exit.

  He didn’t care. He flung himself into his SUV and pounded a fist against the steering wheel.

  Instead of making up with Ally this morning, they’d jumped five steps back. And he’d left his coffee sitting on the counter.

  Stellar fucking start to his day.

  ***

  “No Mark tonight?” Nicole asked at McCauley’s Pub later on that evening.

  “I guess not.” Ally shrugged and stirred the straw through her kiddie cocktail. Considering how horribly her night had ended last time she was out with the crew, she didn’t take chances tonight. No booze, no dancing—unless it was with the girls—and no reckless sex.

  “Things are still the same, huh?”

  “They’re worse.” She hadn’t told anyone—not even Jenny—about what had happened two weeks ago and she didn’t plan to. No one needed to know what a fool she’d been for Mark. Again. “But I don’t want to talk about it right now. This is your night,” she said to Nicole, giving her best attempt at a sincere smile. “Or Tony’s, rather.”

  “I hope he doesn’t mind the surprise.” Nicole glanced toward the door for the tenth time in five minutes.

  Tony and Nicole had only been seeing each other a couple weeks, but they’d clicked instantly. Ally had never seen Tony so wrapped up in a woman before and, while she was happy for him and his daughter,
Brianna, she was also jealous. Why couldn’t Mark have fallen for her like that?

  “Nah, he’ll love it,” she told Nicole, chasing off her envy with a yawn. “Wow, it’s too early in the night for that!”

  Nicole laughed. “Don’t feel like you have to stay all night. You’ve had a long week with the move.”

  “Speaking of which, I need some furniture. Any chance you’d be willing to part with a few things before the estate sale?”

  “There isn’t going to be an estate sale.”

  “What? Why not?” She’d helped Nicole organize several of her grandmother’s rooms in preparation for the sale, so this development was a surprise.

  “I sold the house. As is, furniture and all. But keep it on the down-low. I haven’t even told Tony yet.”

  “Oh my God, who bought it?”

  Nicole gave her the details on her fast, unexpected deal with the River Bend Historical Society. “So, if you’re really interested in the furniture, you’ll have to talk to Beatrice. I’m sure she’ll be more than reasonable.”

  Probably. Didn’t hurt that Bea was also her aunt. Before she could tell Nicole that, the pub’s front door opened. “Oh, crap. Nick just walked in.”

  “Who? Oooh.” Nicole leaned back on her bar stool and openly appraised the dark haired man. He was dressed in jeans a plain white t-shirt. But the majority of the women in the bar gawked like he was prancing around in a pair of snug briefs. “Very nice.”

  Ally rolled her eyes. “New fire chief. Also my neighbor.”

  “Shut up.”

  “Yeah. A year ago, it would’ve been the perfect predicament, but now...” She shrugged. “Not so much.”

  “Because you’re holding out for Mark.” Nicole narrowed her eyes and gave a small, sympathetic smile that Ally acknowledged with a nod.

  She hated that he’d left Cedar Street Brew this morning with piss in his Cheerios, but she’d spoken the truth and, if they were ever going to be something more than fuck buddies, he needed to know how she felt. Getting further involved with him would be a risk. Like signing up for something, knowing full-well you’d only get half of what you wanted.

  Thing was...the more time they spent apart, the more appealing only having some of his attention became. She missed him like crazy and, as the holidays approached, the longing became more intense. They’d spent a lot of snowy weekends curled up beneath his comforter last winter. They hadn’t done the whole family thing, but she’d secretly hoped this year would be different. The thought of him sitting at her parents’ dining room table eating mashed potatoes and her mother’s glazed ham? It warmed something in her chest...