Elemental Fear

by Ada Frost

  Dominic always kept his door to his office closed; he rarely closed his blinds at the internal window facing my office. He sat staring at his computer screen rubbing his brow above his glasses. Worry marred his beautiful face. He would alternate between running his fingers over his brow and then over his chin and mouth. Something was really worrying him. But the work I was doing wasn’t that perplexing. The contract he was currently working through was more or less tied up, or so Johan had told me a few days ago.

  I carried on with my work, perusing through the catalogue of documents Dominic needed to present at Friday’s shareholder meeting.

  The hall started to bustle with people, leaving to get their lunches, either into town or into the kitchenette, which was a little area to the other end of the corridor. Although the team is friendly, I found it hard to sit in the small area and eat my lunch with everyone. I also didn’t want any questions asked as to why I hadn’t brought any lunch with me. The truth was I didn’t want to stay in the house longer than necessary. My family was rather tactile, and after last night, my back was extremely tender. I didn’t need them asking questions when I pulled away from them.

  Dominic’s door opened, and my stomached flipped in excitement. This was the first time since this morning that he’d left his office. He had his jacket draped over his arm and his briefcase in his other hand. His tie was slightly loosened and his top shirt button was open. He looked up at me, and a small smile crossed his mouth, quickly followed by a creasing of his brow. I looked down at myself self-consciously.

  “You’re coming to lunch with me, Eve. You’re not sitting in this office, starving yourself.” He stalked towards the door, grabbing my jacket from the hook behind it. “Get up, move your feet.” He smiled and leaned towards me, lowering his voice. “Or do I have to carry you like when you refused to swim with me?”

  My eyes widened. Definitely not a thing I wanted to happen.

  When I was fifteen years old, we all went on holiday together. Elliott refused to come with us, saying that at twenty-three he was too old to holiday with his mother. We had gone to the beach, and being conscience of my developing body, I refused to wear a bathing suit, so I sat on the sand in a white t- shirt and baby blue shorts. Dominic pestered me to go swimming with him, but I refused, knowing my t-shirt would be completely transparent once wet and there was no where private to change. Instead, I lay back on the sand ignoring his pleading.

  He was toned even then; he marveled me in taking his shirt off. The girls around us certainly noticed the Adonis whining next to me. Our age difference obviously made them think I was his little sister along for the ride. I ignored him and them. But being the formidable force he was, he scooped me up and threw me over his shoulder, clasping my thighs under his biceps and marched towards the sea. I screamed and threw my fists against his solid back in protest, but couldn’t suppress the laughter as we got closer to the water. I shouted profanities at him, changing to pleading when I knew he wasn’t stopping. He didn’t. Instead, he walked straight into the sea and dropped me. I landed unladylike with a big splash in the water.

  He stood, laughing at me, bending over and gripping his ribs. I couldn’t help but laugh back, but as I did, I jumped to my feet and grabbed him by the neck, pulling him down with me. We splashed down into the water laughing. He was flat against me, laid on top of me. I remember staring at each other for a long time as our laughs melted away. He brushed my hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear –

  “Eve?” Dominic’s voice broke into my daydream. My cheeks instantly reddened and he smiled.

  “Sorry,” I replied.

  “Come on, I’m ravenous. I need food,” he said. And gripped his stomach in mock pain.

  “I’m fine, you go. I’m not hungry,” I lied.

  He let out a long and loud sigh and walked towards me. “Seriously, Eve, I am not putting up with this crap from you today.” Although he sounded harsh there was humour in his expression, and I couldn’t help but steal a little smile. I remained seated.

  “Right, I’ll bloody carry you, then.” He stepped towards me, and I immediately jumped to my feet. “Okay, okay. I’m coming.” Panic ripped through my voice, but I laughed at his victorious smile.

  Dominic stopped in his tracks and tried suppressing a smile, but it developed into a throaty laugh.

  He looked so free when he laughed, and not to mention extremely handsome. I looked to the floor trying to hide my shy smile.

  *****

  We sat down in a small patisserie across the street from the office building, chatting about his mother, with a familiarity between faithful friends. He ordered a coffee and I had a hot chocolate. He claimed that since he hadn’t seen me over the weekend it was his treat. The smells and aromas of the food being prepared made my stomach audibly call out its hunger and longing for food. Then the moment came when his ritual started. He cupped his mug in his large masculine hands, brought it to just below his nose...

  His mobile rang, breaking through the perfect moment like a jagged knife. He pulled it out of his pocket, looked at the screen and let out a loud, exhausted sigh. “Excuse me,” he said in a huff.

  “Hi, Van...” He paused, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose; he’d clearly been interrupted on the other end. “I haven’t been ignoring your calls, I have been busy.” He looked down at me. “I’m in a meeting right now, if you must know, with someone very important who does not like to be kept waiting.”

  I looked up at him shocked. I didn’t like the lie, and my expression said so, because clearly he caught the look and turned away from me.

  “My secretary is out to lunch and...yes, Eve’s in today. Okay, maybe she didn’t answer because she is also busy.” He sighed again.

  I winced at my name being mentioned? Why was my name being mentioned?

  “Oh, for goodness sake, Vanessa, I am not being an arse. I. Am. Working!” His voice became more agitated. “No, I have not mentioned it to her yet....no...yes, we do, but...no....yes...” He growled.

  Literally growled.

  I tried to remain still and unaffected by the phone call, but the noise he made and his clear agitation somehow amused me. Dominic always seemed so controlled and unaffected by any situation, it was amusing to see this woman clearly break down his defenses. I snorted a laugh. I tried to hide it by looking at the floor and putting the scalding chocolate to my mouth, but my lips would not co-operate in hiding the smile.

  Dominic turned to look at me. His eyes pierced me with a glacial stare. Then he shook his head, and the dimple in his cheek creased slightly, and I knew he was suppressing a smile.

  “No...uh-huh...no....I haven’t...” He was beginning to sound like a scratched CD. “Vanessa, I am not talking about this on the phone, you are making me sound like a robot, yes, no, yes, no. It’s tiresome. I have told you we will discuss it when we get together...No. That’s final. You cannot be calling me at work about this. And under no circumstance bother Eve about this, do you understand? Now I have a very important client waiting, if you will excuse me.” His tone was sharp and distant. I had never heard him speak to anyone like that, let alone the woman he loved. What if this was what it was like with every man once they had you.

  I wanted to hide from that thought; I looked to the door to see if I could escape without him noticing. The exit wasn’t too far away, he was busy, I could do it. I gently placed my mug down and started to shift in my seat. I half rose to my feet when he grabbed my wrist. It wasn’t rough or painful as I had become accustomed to with Elliott. I looked at my hand then up into Dominic’s eyes. My heartbeat stopped when I caught the cerulean pools of blue looking back at me, pleading with me.

  “I have to go.” And with that he ended his call. He placed his phone on the table and looked at me, noticing the wary expression on my face he said, “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean...I wasn’t...oh God! I’m really fucking this up, aren’t I?” He bowed his head, and I couldn’t help the gasp that came out whe
n he cursed. He looked up at me, his face was pale, and he looked lost.

  I looked at the exit and back to Dominic. His fingers curled around into my hand and instead of holding my wrist he was holding my hand. A strange tingling, almost debilitating, sensation spread across my chest to my stomach. I slowly sat down; I remained silent, trying to settle my unsteady breathing. I was used to being held by Dominic, it was the one thing that brought me back from the blackness of a panic attack, but this felt different, intimate almost. His hands were large and covered mine completely. The heat from his skin was comforting, and I felt a tightening in my chest.

  “I’m sorry.” He looked to the floor and shook his head. “I’m a weak man. It’s pathetic, and I know you must think I’m some crude monster to talk to her...to Vanessa like that, but...” He paused, his voice almost a whisper as he spoke. Real shame seeped through when he spoke and it pained me to hear him like this. “I haven’t even accepted yet, but she’s already planning the most important day of my life.”

  I reached out with my other hand and placed it on top of our entwined hands. His head shot up, a look of shock on his face.

  “I never expect you to apologise to me, Dominic, and I certainly don’t think you are any of those things.” I smiled at him shyly. I squeezed his hand slightly. His thumb lifted and brushed against mine. Another tingle spread through my body. “You forgot to invite her to lunch with the rest of us.”

  He let out a frustrated breath, running his hands through his hair.

  “I don’t know what’s happening to me anymore. Since she asked me to marry her, everything has just...” He looked straight into my eyes, “changed. We were happy, I suppose. I thought we could make this work. I didn’t know she had this in mind, I didn’t realise she thought we were...that she wanted me for life...I thought she understood.”

  “Who wouldn’t want you for life?” I said then wished I could crawl into a deep crevice and never be seen again. My cheeks burned with embarrassment. “It’s natural to feel nervous; you are taking the commitment to spend the rest of your lives together. It’s a vow to love her forever. I couldn’t think of anyone more perfect for you.”

  He looked straight at me, his lips parted as if he wanted to say something but changed his mind at the last minute and pulled his hand away and sat up straightening himself in his chair. A determined expression marred his face, the one he used in the board room at meetings.

  “What do you want to eat? I’m ravenous.” His voice was cold and distant. The conversation ended, and we acted like such an intense conversation never occurred. It was as if a shutter had come down between us closing off our friendship.

  “Erm...ham Panini please, with salad, no…”

  “Cucumber or onion,” he finished my sentence. I smiled, liking that he knew me so well.

  He went to the counter to order our food; I turned sideways in my seat to watch him at the counter. His jaw twitched as he looked over the menu boards. He had his hands in his pockets, rocking on the heels of his feet. It was one of his personal habits I adored about him.

  Dominic’s mobile rang, startling me out of my avid staring. I reached over the table to look at the screen. The caller ID said Vanessa. I looked over at Dominic but didn’t say anything; I simply got up and left the patisserie. I didn’t want to sit there and listen to another of their conversations. Although I wanted him to confide in me about her, I couldn’t prepare myself for how that would feel when he did. Once he married Vanessa, I knew our friendship would be very different, and I would no longer have him in my life the way I did now. I had to start hardening my heart. I had to push Dominic out of my mind. I had to adapt to Elliott and his demons.

  Dominic didn’t return that afternoon; Emily called in the office and said he’d been called out to a meeting. I wonder if he was meeting Vanessa. I mentally scolded myself for feeling a pang of jealousy. I needed to get a grip of my emotions. Things were getting very blurry and out of context, and I needed to rein that in. I was furious at myself for just leaving the cafe today, but it physically hurt to hear him talking with Vanessa. I knew I had no right when I was currently in a relationship with someone else, but knowing the man who I had loved my entire life was making plans to spend the rest of his life with another woman kind of killed me inside and made me hate myself, and Elliott more.

  My desk phone rang, startling me out of my pity party. “Eve Beaumont’s office”

  “Hi, Eve, it’s Lucinda. There’s a delivery for you at the front desk,” she said cheerily.

  I frowned; I hadn’t been expecting a delivery and certainly not one personally to me.

  “Okay, I will be down in a bit”

  “Thanks, bye.”

  I placed the receiver back in the holder and went to collect my “package.”

  A few minutes later, I walked through the large foyer that was the main entrance to the building. It was a huge open space with black granite flooring, a glass front that opened the space making it feel like you were almost outside. Lucinda’s desk was situated to the left of the entry, a big curved oak desk that was as high as my chest.

  I walked over to her with a questioning look. She must have noticed because she offered me a bright smile. “Your lunch, although I was tempted to keep it because it smells divine.” She smiled again.

  “Erm...”

  “It’s from across the road. Oh, and you have one of their delicious carrot cake muffins too. Want to swap? All I've got planned is a prawn salad bowl.” She chuckled slightly, and I smiled at her as I reached over to take the pre-offered bags.

  “Thank you.”

  Confused, I carried my lunch back upstairs to my office. I opened the bag, and my stomach groaned in happiness. It was the Panini and salad from the cafe and, like Lucinda had said, one of their scrumptious carrot cake muffins. As I was taking my mouth-watering treats out, my mobile alerted me to a text.

  Sorry I spoilt our lunch together, forgive me?

  Hope you enjoy what I ordered for you D

  I smile and re-read the text. I slowly stroke my thumb over the words.

  Nothing to forgive, I was a mardy cow sorry x

  Thank you for my lunch

  I take a bite of my sandwich and moan loudly. “Heaven”. My phone pings again.

  I was a bastard and you know it.

  I've been called out to a meeting so I can’t give you a lift home sorry

  Dx

  No worries, I’ll get the bus X

  After my lunch I went into the staff changing area to prepare for the lab. After my texting with Dominic, I felt much, much happier. Silly what can brighten your day.

  5.30pm arrived quicker than expected; I packed my equipment away, left the lab and changed out of my safety gear. Then I took my notes back into my office and tidied my desk. I checked to make sure Dominic’s files and computer were locked down for the night before I left. That was really Emily’s responsibility, but I felt better checking.

  Ellie was at school today so no doubt I would get to hear all about that when they returned, but it would be later in the evening as it was Mum’s Yoga class and Dad took Ellie swimming. It was home time, it was time to kick back and relax. Watch all my recorded programmes, have a bath and indulge in some sweet heaven – chocolate. I smiled at my thoughts and turned the lights off as I left the office behind.

  Chapter 3

  I walked in the front door humming “we are young” and froze. The blood drained from my face, my heart froze mid-beat, and my ears buzzed as the blood whooshed away. Elliott sat at the dining table, staring at me with a serpent’s grin, ready to strike at any moment. How the hell had I not noticed his car outside? A sudden pang of nausea hit me, and I swallowed fast, trying to dispel it. I knew what that grin meant, something in his day had upset him and he was hampering after an argument with me. No matter what I said, he would find something in it to cause tension. A scowl spread across his face, and my body reacted immediately, throwing itself into defense mode.

&n
bsp; “Hi, I didn’t expect to see you tonight.” I swallowed at the lump in my throat. “You always know how surprise me.” I tried to muster a sweet smile, but my body started shaking.

  I stood with my back to the door, my head bowed as I heard the chair legs scrape across the kitchen tiles. He paused, looking me over, scrutinising me like a lion circling its prey. He stepped closer, and my body shuddered. His proximity made me feel sick; the bile rose in my throat.

  He pressed his nose into my hair, inhaling deeply. “You have been a naughty girl,” he whispered through clenched teeth.

  “No,” I replied, my voice flat and low.

  “Oh, but I know you have. I saw you.”

  I lifted my head instantly at his words, realising my huge mistake. I averted my eyes to the floor again. Panic shot through my veins. Saw me? Do what? What had I done? My body started to tremble, and I tried to control it, but nothing I did steadied my reaction.

  “You. Are. A. Slut,” he said, each word pronounced into my ear with vehemence. “You are mine, do you hear? Not his. That pathetic little shit is not having you.” His rage was boiling. As he spoke, his lips scraped against my ear.

  “I...I...didn’t –”

  He grabbed me by the throat, banging the back of my head against the door. He sneered something at me, but I didn’t hear as I was dazed from the force of hitting my head. He shook me by the neck before forcing me down. I tried putting my hands out to catch my fall, but it was too quick. I crashed to the floor with my elbow taking the full impact.