Elemental Fear

by Ada Frost

  “I saw you, holding his fucking hand, getting all cozy over a sandwich.” Elliott’s hand squeezed tighter around my throat, and I struggled to breathe. I pushed my heels against the tiles to try and push away but his body pressed me down, his weight easily pinning me to the floor. His hand gripped the top of my thigh, his breath heavy on my chest. His scent of strong aftershave and stale coffee made me want to vomit. Bile rose in my throat.

  “Did you think I wouldn’t find out? What? Is my cock not enough for a little whore like you? Thought you would try us both out, did you? You’re a dirty whore. You make me a bad person, and I know why.” He licked my cheek “You want me to punish you,” he whispered, removing his hand from my throat, stroking a finger down my cheek. “You like it this way, don’t you? You do it to tease me, but I know you like it rough.”

  He sniffed at my skin like a predator playing with its pray. “You might be an ugly fucker, but when pussy is handed to a guy on a plate, how can he refuse? That’s all you are to that little prick. Have you seen Vanessa? Now there’s a real woman.”

  He started kissing my neck, whispering as he went along. “She isn’t a tight, frigid little bitch.” He bit my neck, and I tried to bite back, to yelp, but failed. “You belong to me. Tell me.” He pulled at my hair hard, forcing my head and neck into an awkward position on the floor. “Tell me.” He stopped, raising himself level with me, looking down into my face. I could feel that growing, pressing into my thigh. “Say it,” he demanded.

  “I belong to you, Elliott,” I said, flatly. I had to stop myself from vomiting as the words passed my lips. I had to say it. If I didn’t, the consequences would be far worse. My body held the scars from the punishment after my first refusal to say those words; I remember praying that he would kill me, just to make the pain stop.

  “See, you want me. You tease me and pretend you don’t, but when we are alone, I’m all you want. I make you come like no other can. Tell me.” His hand gripped my thigh, making me wince with pain. His nails dug deep into the sensitive flesh at the top of my thigh.

  “You are all I want.” I swallowed. Elliott was the only man I had ever done that with, and I hated it.

  Elliott put his hand between our bodies, sliding it down towards his zipper. I heard it slide down, and then he gripped harshly at the peak of my thighs.

  “No! Please don’t.” I gasped, pushing his hand away. He growled, gripping my wrists tightly. Then he paused. I clenched my jaw and tightly closed my eyes, waiting for the impact. I knew he wouldn’t just leave me alone.

  Elliott made a hissing sound in my ear.

  “Are you playing hard to get today? If I can’t fuck you, Angel, we both know where I’d go for it. A man has needs, and if you refuse, there is only one other place to get that relief. Do you want that?” He laughed, knowing my answer.

  The fight left my body. His words broke the barrier he needed. I closed my eyes and submitted to his demand. He grabbed at the waistband of my trousers, tugging harshly while holding both my wrists with one hand. The stinging pain from the lashings on my back shot through me, reminding me of last night’s punishment. My heart pounded so hard with his weight on top of me, the dread made it impossible to breath. I gasped for precious air.

  Please stop, please, please stop, I wanted to say it to him, I wanted to beg. But I knew nothing would stop him. The ramifications were too fierce. I could feel his excitement against my bare thigh; I hated that feeling more than the beatings. Having Elliott force himself into me hurt more than the lashings of his belt or the pounding of his relentless fists. I broke, I gasped out a cry and tears streamed down my face. My body shook with sobs as I felt his probing for entry. I closed my eyes and held my breath, willing myself to pass out. I needed the blackness; I needed something to take me away from this hell –

  “Eve?” a voice shouted from outside. I whimpered, and Elliott covered my mouth quickly, continuing his rough removal of my knickers.

  “Listen to that...listen to him call you. You know he can do fuck all to help you...” He let out a breathless laugh and moved his hand from my mouth as he held himself above me. “Go ahead. Call for him to help...go on, Eve...shout for the fucking idiot. I dare you. I can just imagine his face. But better still...” He pressed his nose to my neck and inhaled loudly, “imagine Louise spread out beneath me...I’d even let you watch.”

  A tear rolled down the side of my face. I closed my eyes tightly trying to disappear from this waking nightmare. I relaxed my hands as all the fight left me. His words were sharp daggers to my very soul. His hands held me down but the capture of my body was nothing to the prison he had erected around my heart. He knew my family was my kryptonite, the one thing he could use to destroy me. Take away my family, and you took away the very thing I lived for.

  In one fierce painful thrust, he rammed into me. I squeezed my eyes tighter, a muffled cry died in my throat as he held his hand over my mouth. I frantically sucked in air through my nose. Tears streamed from the corners of my eyes into my hair as he pounded into me. Grunting like a large wild boar, he was sated after one more thrust. I pictured Ellie’s happy little face and held onto that image, knowing I never wanted anyone to take that away from her. I would protect my sisters from this kind of hell. I imagined her playing in the back garden with her dolls, laughing and chatting to herself as she played hide and seek with them.

  I slowly opened my eyes as cold air rushed in, Elliott clambered to his knees, nipping the sensitive flesh of my inner thigh against the floor. He discarded the used condom in the kitchen waste bin, brushed his clothes down and smoothed out the crinkles.

  “We are good together. Say it.” He pointed to me, as if I would dare disagree. How could he not see this wasn’t love? This was vile and the epitome of brutality.

  I remained silent and still. He didn’t move at first, and then his foot connected with the underside of my ribs. I cried out in pain. It was involuntary, but he saw it as rebellion. Anger flashed in his eyes as he stomped as hard as he could twice on my shoulder. I bit my fist to stop further cries.

  “Dirty whore, seems your knight is here, “ he hissed as he walked away, down the hall toward the back door. He was like a ghost, arriving and leaving unseen. Elliott, my perpetual shadow, disappeared as my sunshine arrived in the form of Dominic.

  A knock came at the door, followed by his muffled concerned voice. “Eve, are you alright?”

  No, I would never be alright.

  “I’m here,” I squeaked through the tears.

  “Eve?” Bang, bang. “Eve!” Dominic frantically knocked at the door shouting my name. He must have heard me. I really had no idea what to do. If I let him in, Elliott would be even angrier, but I needed to leave this place right now. I tugged at my trousers, pulling them back up. I reached up and twisted the key unlocking the door. I felt the door pushing behind me, moving me across the floor. I yelped in agony.

  “Eve, Jesus, what’s happened? Are you hurt?” The door stilled, and Dominic’s concerned voice warmed me.

  “I’m behind the door. I...I...” Think! “I slipped,” I said weakly. I glanced down the hall to see if Elliott was there.

  “Can you move?”

  I tried to move, but the pain was too strong. I grabbed at the doorframe to help lever myself to a sitting position. Get up, get out. I closed my eyes, gritted my teeth, and pushed my feet into the floor, forcing my back up the wall. I grabbed behind me to help me rise up against the wall, my legs buckled and I slumped back down hitting the floor with force.

  “Arghhhh”

  “Eve! Shit, stop, don’t move...” He paused momentarily “Will I hurt you if I push at the door? I can do it slowly?”

  “Okay” I replied.

  The hardness of the door and gentle pressure against my back pushed me forward. Tears streamed down my face. I started to gasp for breath. Everything started to blur, and I felt dizzy. I felt sick, and the revulsion rose. A familiar haze enveloped me; I couldn’t stop my body from slumping f
urther against the door. Pain and embarrassment took over.

  “Eve?” a voice echoed. Two strong arms wrapped around me, one across my back the other under my knees. I was lifted into the air and felt myself floating. I rocked with the movement as I was carried. “Eve, oh God.” The whispered voice tried to penetrate my haze. The cool refreshing scent of the ocean calmed my senses just as the blackness came, finally.

  *****

  I opened my eyes, wincing at the pain I felt at my shoulder, back and ribs. I couldn’t even bring myself to acknowledge the burning between my legs. I gripped at the sheets, fisting clumps. I wanted it to stop. The cotton under my hands felt soft and warm, familiar. I inhaled deeply, adoring the safe sensations the aroma of my clean sheets created. Willing myself to focus, I turned my head, noticing a figure sitting on the edge of my bed, near me.

  “Hey.” Dominic turned his torso toward me, lifting his hand to stroke my hair away from my face.

  I half smiled. Blushing profusely at the situation, I tried to sit, but Dominic’s hands wrapped around, me pressing me against him.

  “How...”

  “Sorry, I didn’t know what to do, so I brought you here. Your mum and dad are still out. I texted Alan to tell him what happened. We should really get you to a hospital...”

  “No!” I said, raising my voice slightly. I winced at my sudden movement.

  “Okay, okay.” He held his hands up in a surrender sign. “But you could have seriously damaged something, Eve. God, you were so bloody pale.” He nodded towards my body.

  Stunned, I stay silent for a while. I hated lying to him, but who would believe Elliott had done this,

  and worse the shame of explaining it? I'm just thankful Dominic came by when he did. I just didn’t know what he knew. Had he heard –

  As if hearing my inner thoughts, Dominic spoke, quietly, almost a whisper. “I heard you...you sounded in pain, so I called to you, but you didn’t answer, and then I heard a thud. I ran up the steps to the house and heard you scream out. I’ll never forget that sound, Eve...” He paused as if recollecting the incident. “You didn’t move for so long, Eve, you were beyond pale. I thought...”

  “I’m okay, just clumsy.” I laughed weakly, hoping he would believe the lie.

  He looked pale himself and I noticed the worry in his eyes. He looked exhausted. He’d discarded his jacket and rolled his shirt sleeves up. His top button was open and his tie tugged loose. He was captivating to look at, like a piece of priceless art you were afraid would vanish if you didn’t memorise every aspect. His light brown hair stood in messy spikes, as if he had sat constantly running his fingers through it, and his daily growth of facial hair left a dark shadow along his jaw. He turned his head. A small reassuring smile caused his little cheek dimple to appear, making me blush at the thoughts that elicited.

  “I'm sorry...for causing you to panic.”

  “I’m sorry I did panic. I didn’t know what else to do. You were out of it.” He truly looked lost. I hated that I had put that vulnerability in his eyes.

  I couldn’t speak, I certainly couldn’t look at him. I fought to get the covers from me, wincing with the shooting pain as I moved. Dominic looked startled and tried to hold me back without hurting me. He still had his back to me on the bed, so I shuffled behind him to the base of the bed, while Dominic twisted to try and catch me.

  “Please don’t, Eve,” he begged

  I pushed him away, struggling to gain some balance as I wriggled from his grasp. I needed to get out. I looked for the door.

  “Arrrgh!” I cried out, feeling my shoulder resist under the weight.

  “Eve, stop. I’m trying to help you.” He was beginning to panic.

  “I don’t need your help,” I snapped, angrier than I meant to be.

  He grabbed my hand. “Yes, you do.”

  “No.” I pulled my hand free. I needed to get to the door. I struggled away, clumsily throwing myself from the bed and reaching for the door handle as I opened it a crack. It banged shut. I looked up to see Dominic’s hand above my head. I stared at the door, my body shaking, my heart hammering so loud I heard nothing else. He was so close, I could feel his warmth, but he didn’t touch me. The safety I always felt with Dominic faulted. My brow beaded with sweat. I needed out.

  “Stay, please. I’m begging you.” Dominic’s soft voice whispered against my ear.

  I panted, gasping for air to fill my lungs. My hands shook as I placed them against the door, followed by my forehead against the cool glossy wood. The familiar haze was coming, ready to take me again. A warm, strong arm circled my waist, fingers splayed across my stomach, pressing me backwards against a firm torso. Warm calming breath blew across my shoulder and up my neck. A smooth face pressed against my cheek.

  “Shh, Eve, come back to me. I didn’t mean to frighten you,” Dominic whispered. A warm feeling spread through my chest.

  His heart beat against my back, his steady breath against my cheek. He held me to him, calming me. Our bodies becoming almost one as our rhythm mirrored the other. The haze dissipated, calm replacing it. I leaned my head back against his shoulder, closing my eyes. His nose stroked up and down the sensitive skin near the pulse on my neck. He pulled me closer, and I could feel his hands trembling. Without thought or reason, I removed one of my hands from the door and placed it over his on my stomach. Dominic let out a long sigh, his breath fanning across the soft area under my earlobe.

  “Dominic,” I whispered, breathlessly.

  He held me against him, connecting me to him. “Please stay. I won’t ask any more questions. Just...stay with me...please.”

  I shook my head in disbelief.

  “I cannot let you go. Please, Eve, let me...allow me to hold you. We don’t have to talk.” Desperation streaked his voice. I wanted to cry. Tears welled in my eyes. His plea seemed so genuine. “I’ve texted Elliott. He’s on his way to see you. I promise I’ll leave when he gets here.”

  I turned to wrap my arms around his waist and pulled him closer to me. Then I buried my face in his chest and listened to his heart hammering within his chest. The sound soothed every inch of my body. He exhaled a loud sigh as he hugged me tighter to him. We stood like this for seconds, minutes, hours maybe? I couldn’t tell, but while his arms were around me, the world ceased to exist. Finally, his arms shifted, and he lifted me to silently carry me to the bed. He laid me down before running his fingers through my hair and pushing it away from my face. To his word, he never asked a question. We lay in perfect serenity. Why couldn’t my life be like this always?

  He sat down in the chair next to my bed and let out a weary sigh. His chuckle broke the silence.

  I lifted my head and frowned at him “What?”

  “You do realise I just begged you to stay in your own room.” He turned and dazzled me with a full smile, both dimples showing.

  I couldn’t help it, I smiled a genuine smile back at him. He always had the ability to bring me back from the gloom I found myself in.

  “That’s definitely a first for me.” He shook his head and looked down at his tie.

  “What is?”

  He looked at me, a small reddening of his cheeks. He almost looked shy. “Begging a woman to stay in her bedroom with me. I'm usually doing the running.” He winked and held my gaze for a while before I couldn’t stand it and closed my eyes, laying my head back on the pillow.

  We stayed in companionable silence; I remained on the bed, Dominic in the chair. He turned the TV on at some point to check through the news and shares on the teletext. He let out a few disgruntled noises as he flicked through pages and pages of names and numbers I didn’t understand.

  “What does it all mean?” I asked, noticing the quick jerk of his shoulders.

  “Jesus, I thought you were asleep. You made me jump.” He snorted an amused sound.

  “Sorry.” I smiled, lifting my head and resting it on my fist.

  “You mean the shares?” He pointed the remote at the TV. I simply nodded.
“Well, high and low means what the highest price went for, and low means the lowest it dipped during the stock market day. The number on the left is what price it closed at.” He turned to me, checking to see if I understood. “Obviously, the higher the price the more your share investment is worth. I was just checking what Ealing was priced at today.”

  “And?”

  “2.84, which isn’t bad. It’s slowly rising, so that’s good. It’s currently the highest it’s ever been. I’m just debating whether to cash any in and pay –“

  “You have shares?”

  “Hmm?” He turned again to look at me. “Oh, yeah. I joined as soon as I was eligible to. It’s a good savings plan”

  “Do you...how much does one have to pay in...? I mean, would I be able to afford it?”

  “Well, whilst you are living here, it would be a great way to save for a deposit on your own place someday. Even then, it would benefit you to do the share scheme to save lump sums to pay off a mortgage or do renovations, etc. You cannot access it straight away, it’s kind of a long term plan, but highly beneficial.”

  I nodded. “Could you help me with it?”

  He smiled at me and nodded. “Happily.”

  He turned again to the TV, and I rested my head back to the pillow, watching his face. The lights from the TV reflected against his skin, forming shadows and making his hair seem darker and his features more pronounced. It had gotten dark outside. I turned to check the clock on my nightstand. 7.27pm. Mum and Dad should have been back by now. Just as I was about to say this to Dominic, we both heard the front door slam, and Dad call out to us. He obviously knew Dominic wouldn’t leave me. A few moments later, Mum appeared at my bedroom door with Ellie close behind.

  “Hi, sweetie. What on earth have you been doing?” She walked towards my bed and sat down beside me. She turned, stretched out her hand, and cupped Dominic’s cheek in her usual warm greeting. “Hey, sweetheart, thanks for watching my baby.”