SEAL'd Heart

by Alice Ward

  “And?”

  “And I nearly had a fucking heart attack when I walked in and saw you there.”

  A shudder ran through me as I thought about what might have happened had I fallen into the wrong hands.

  “I was going to write you today,” Seth said. “To tell you that I was coming home and I had things to tell you. And then, to find you here...” His cheeks puffed as he exhaled. “I still can’t believe it. It’s too crazy.”

  “Who were those men? The translator I hired said that strangers had been seen around here with guns. That’s why he’s not with me. He thought Tejen was too dangerous and he left.”

  Seth nodded. “Those men in the hut live here. They’re kind of unofficial guards. Strangers were seen around here last week, so the village is kind of on high alert. You might have noticed some tension.”

  “Yeah,” I mumbled. “So that’s why no one wanted to talk to me.”

  Seth grabbed a set of keys from the dashboard and stuck them in the ignition. The engine roared to life, shaking our feet with its rumble. “You don’t exactly fit in.”

  I looked down at the long sleeve cotton shirt that fit me about as well as a paper bag and snorted.

  CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN

  We didn’t talk as Seth drove us out of Tejen and back onto the main road.

  “Where’s your stuff?” he asked after a few minutes.

  “I don’t really have anything. It got, uh, left behind.”

  “How did you get here?”

  “I booked a jet for the day.”

  He smiled at me. “Organizing a rescue mission in style, huh?”

  “You know it.”

  More and more tension left me as we drew closer to Kabul. Entering the city limits, we wound through blocks of one and two story houses. Seth seemed to know his way around the place easily, as if we were in Chicago. We passed an area with taller, office type buildings. There were a few signs in English advertising restaurants and, once, a “dance hall.”

  Turning into a neighborhood, Seth veered onto a dirt side street and through a gate then parked behind a house. I searched the neighboring houses for any clue as to where we were but could recognize nothing. I could be one street or five miles away from the home I stayed in last night.

  We climbed out, and Seth took my hand and led me to the back of the house. A door on the main level was flush with the yard, but he took me past it and up a set of exterior stairs to the second floor. Unlocking the door, Seth guided me inside then locked the door behind us. He flicked a wall switch, revealing a small tan colored room with a bed, a side table, and a small bookshelf. Seth’s suitcase sat in the corner of the room, his laptop resting on top of it.

  “This is where I’ve been staying,” he explained, moving around me to stand in the middle of the small room.

  I didn’t know what to say. A choking sound left my throat.

  Seth’s eyes went wide. “Quinn...”

  “I was so worried,” I gasped. “So worried. I thought you were dead.” The words came out with some grit, the accusatory tone dancing in the air. I couldn’t help it. I was relieved beyond belief to find him, yes, and back in Tejen, I’d been ready to let all transgressions go.

  But seeing his computer sitting there, seeing the device that he could have so easily used to contact me, made me lose it. I got why he came to Afghanistan, why he was full of rage and a desire for revenge, but I didn’t get why he hadn’t bothered to shoot me an email to let me know he was still alive.

  “I was going crazy,” I seethed. “I thought I might have lost you forever. I thought that maybe you were trapped somewhere, that someone was holding you hostage, that you were starving to death… I thought every possible awful thing, Seth!”

  “Quinn,” he breathed, stepping forward to touch my wrist.

  I jerked away from his hand and stepped back. “Don’t. Don’t touch me right now. I just… I just need a minute.”

  Seth’s shoulders drooped. “I’m sorry. I know maybe that doesn’t mean a lot...”

  I pressed my hands against my eyes to block out my vision. “I know you are,” I whispered. “And I understand what you’ve gone through. But I can’t help… I can’t help...” My voice failed me. I stood there with my hands pressed against my face and hoped I wouldn’t faint.

  “I put you through hell,” Seth said quietly.

  I dropped my hands to look at him again. “Yes... it’s not like you haven’t been through it yourself, but I don’t know...” I shook my head. “I thought I understood it, but now I don’t know if I do.”

  Seth sighed and sat on the end of the bed. It squeaked under his weight. “I dragged you through hell with me. I wasn’t trying to.” He looked at me with imploring eyes. “Honestly, Quinn. I tried to leave you out of all of this. That’s why I didn’t tell you anything in Chicago.”

  I nodded and sniffed, tears pressing at the backs of my eyeballs. “And then you stopped writing.”

  He nodded at the floor. “That was a mistake. I hoped you would assume there was no internet at camp or that I was just busy. The closer the day came to making my move…” He looked up at me. “The more I realized how little I deserved you. How could I follow through with my plan and still think I was worthy of going back home to you? Writing those lies to you, telling you I was on a deployment when I wasn’t, seemed so unfair. I’d sit down to write you and my fingers just wouldn’t move. I couldn’t make them move.”

  I stepped forward and took a seat next to him. “Of course you’re worthy of me, Seth. Don’t say that.”

  His hand came up and cupped the side of my face. “Maybe you’re too forgiving. Maybe you would be better off without me.”

  “No.” I pressed my hand against his to keep it there, tight against my cheek. “That’s not what I meant. I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to...”

  “I know you weren’t, but I’m speaking honestly now. I have issues, Quinn. Maybe you would have an easier time if I wasn’t around. You could find a guy who’s not so fucked up. Normal people wouldn’t lead you to do what you just did, fly around the world on a wild goose chase.”

  I pressed my fingertips to his. “It wasn’t a wild goose chase. I found you, didn’t I?”

  One corner of his mouth ticked upwards. “By chance.” He exhaled harshly and looked away. “I found you, in the end. At least that’s one way you could look at it.”

  “You’re right. It was by chance. A chance we were given. So, let’s take it as a sign.”

  He looked back at me, the uncertainty waning somewhat in his eyes.

  I swallowed and went on. “A sign that you and I need to be together.”

  A long, long moment passed. Seth slowly nodded. “I’m going to try to be more open. I’m going to share more with you.”

  I laughed. “There are more secrets?”

  His lips pursed playfully. “The worst is over. I swear.”

  “Even if it’s not...” I took his hand away from my cheek and kissed it. “I’ll still be by your side. I’ll be right there next to you through it all. Just don’t shut me out. Don’t push me away.”

  Seth quickly shook his head. “I won’t. I won’t.” He kissed me. “I promise I won’t.” Another kiss. “You’re everything to me now, Quinn,” he whispered against my lips. “You’re the whole reason I couldn’t go through with all of this. Do you believe me?”

  “Yes,” I sighed against his mouth, a familiar heat rising in me. “I believe you.”

  I sensed the fire in his body, as if our singular rising temperatures were reaching out and melding us together. I fit perfectly against his chest, between his arms, and when he nuzzled his face into my neck, there was nowhere else in the world I wanted to be.

  His lips were on mine again, and his hands moved to the sides of my hips, running back and forth. I spread my hands on his chest, enjoying the bulge of his muscles through the fabric. He turned sideways on the bed and grabbed my waist, pulling me onto his lap facing him. I circled my legs around
his back and looped my arms around his neck, not caring how sweaty and dirty I was.

  His tongue danced with mine, the passion in the kiss reaching a new ecstasy. Not so long ago I had thought it would be six months before I touched him again. Not so long ago I feared it might be never…

  Moving quickly, Seth gripped my hips and flipped me over onto the mattress. Lying down against me, he mashed his mouth against mine. I ran my hands down the sides of his face, over his shoulders, across his chest. Each curve and line was just as I remembered, all of them agonizing perfection. One of his hands rested against my face, the other one drifted down the slant of my body and slipped between my legs. His palm pressed at my groin through my jeans, setting off a crazed fever. I writhed underneath him, pushing my body up against his and running my tongue along his tongue and lips.

  Seth pushed his hand a little harder, finding my swollen clit beneath the thick fabric. He rubbed me over and over, sending quick and sweet bursts of pleasure through me. The jolts hit me closer and closer together, blending into one long wave of ecstasy. I came hard beneath Seth, soaking my underwear and pants.

  With his lips still locked on mine, Seth worked on my jeans button then zipper, undoing them and rolling them down my thighs and off. He pushed my panties to the side and shimmied down the length of the bed, settling between my legs. I tried to push him away, not ready for what he was about to do, but he grabbed my wrists and locked them down on either side of me.

  His tongue ran a volcanic trail down the length of my opening, then up again to swirl around my sensitive nub. He lapped and teased, flicking his tongue against me then blowing on my sensitive inner thigh.

  His hands left my wrists and this time I didn’t fight, pleasure taking me over, making any discomfort easily forgotten. His tongue rubbed faster against me as he reached up and palmed my breasts through the material of my shirt, groping and twisting at my nipples through two layers of clothes. With his other hand, he slipped a finger into my opening.

  I shuddered with pleasure, rocking my head from side to side. New feelings overtook me, drawing me closer to Seth than ever before. I was on the edge of ecstasy, riding the crest of its wave, waiting for it to break, but praying it never would.

  A second finger dipped into me, then a third. I flinched in pain as a fourth finger pushed its way in, but Seth’s tongue calmed me. With his hand exciting me inside and his tongue outside, I came, convulsing and gasping for breath.

  Seth made a satisfied noise against me and placed a languid kiss on my inner thigh. Slowly, he kissed his way up my thigh, pushed my shirt up and went over my stomach with his mouth.

  Seth pulled himself up and laid down next to me. Hooking one arm underneath my head so I could better look up at him, I gazed into his eyes as he pulled my panties off the rest of the way. My shirt followed, then my bra. Seth touched each part of my body slowly, his eyes sweeping each spot before his hands did.

  “I don’t have any condoms with me,” he said, looking grim.

  “It’s okay. I’m on the pill, and my last blood work was good.”

  He grinned. “So was mine. So…?” He lifted an eyebrow in question.

  I clawed at the hem of his shirt, pushing it up his chest. He got the hint, pulled it off and tossed it on the floor. He slid his belt off, followed by his jeans. Beneath his boxers, his dick made a tent. I grabbed at his hips, bringing him down and onto me.

  His tongue caressed mine as he ground against me, nothing separating us but the thin boxers. Unable to take it anymore, I yanked his underwear down as far as I could get them. He finished the job and took his cock in his hand, but instead of pushing into me he just ran its tip down my length.

  I moaned as Seth slid against me, each inch of our skin on skin contact a delicious teasing.

  He placed his hands over mine, lacing our fingers together, and pushed into me. We both groaned. Finally, finally, we were back together. Back in the way we had always been meant to be.

  I hooked my legs around Seth’s waist, drawing him deeper into me. He kissed along the lines of my lips, down my jaw and throat. I pushed against his back, grabbed his ass, dug my nails into his side. I latched onto him, eager to taste each part of his body.

  An orgasm built in me, making me arch my back and flail against the bed. Seth’s breathing increased. His hand pushed at the back of my neck, pressing my mouth harder against his. He shook against me, and I exploded with him, clutching him as close to me as I could as we came together.

  For a long, long time after we kissed, Seth settled between my legs and our hands wound up together. The light in the room grew dimmer and still we didn’t move. Eventually, he laid his head down on my chest. I stared at the curtains and listened to his breathing.

  “So when do we leave?” he asked.

  CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT

  I was able to get a jet to come back for us in the evening. Seth returned the car he had rented to its owner and we took a taxi to the airport. We slept for much of the flight, then woke fatigued and groggy, too spent to discuss anything of importance.

  By the time we arrived in Chicago, it was nine in the morning, a different day from the one we’d left in Kabul. The time warp messed with my head, and we went to my house to recuperate.

  A few hours later and we were both still in bed, an agreed upon “cat nap” being what we figured the doctor would order.

  I jerked and woke at someone knocking and quickly rolled out of bed. Seth still slept. Eager to get to the front door before the visitor woke him up, I shut the bedroom door softly and hurried down the stairs.

  I’d called London on our way home from the airport, and she was supposed to bring Starlet over some time that afternoon. Thinking it was my friend, I opened the door without looking through the peephole first.

  Standing on the front porch was Colin Allman.

  “Oh,” I said in a small voice. I reached up and touched my hair, feeling for any signs of a rat’s nest. Then I remembered that I didn’t even like the man in front of me and my hand fell to my side.

  “Hello.” Colin cleared his throat. “I hope I’m not, uh… I hope this isn’t a bad time.”

  “How did you find out where I live?”

  He looked self-conscious. “It was online.”

  “Ah.”

  I placed my hand against the doorjamb and listened for sounds of movement upstairs. After everything Seth had been through, the last thing he needed was to see his father. The man standing in front of me was, in my opinion, responsible for Seth going back to Afghanistan. It was his fault Seth put himself in danger, his fault Seth had lived the last four years steeped in guilt.

  “What do you want?” I asked, trying to keep the coldness at least semi in check, but failing.

  “To apologize.”

  My shoulders relaxed just a little. “Really?”

  Colin ran his hand against the back of his head. “If Seth went to Afghanistan, it’s my fault.” He looked me straight in the eyes, his blue irises revealing a new depth, one that reminded me of Seth more than any other trait the two men shared.

  I couldn’t agree more, and I waited, curious to see if he would say anything else.

  “I wish I could tell him that, but you were right… I tried to call him, and he’s missing.”

  I bit my tongue when anger flared in my chest. I had no need for any more drama, and Colin showing up to speak to me was probably a big deal for him. It also showed he really did care about Seth.

  “He’s back,” I said.

  Colin started. “He’s back?”

  “Yeah, he’s upstairs sleeping.”

  His eyes widened slightly. “Where was he?”

  “Afghanistan.”

  A heavy silence followed. I didn’t have to tell Colin what his son had been up to. The way each muscle in his face fell, the way his shoulders hung, told me he already knew what Seth had gone to Kabul for. Had he put the idea in Seth’s head? Had Colin suggested the men who killed his daughter needed to be taken
care of?

  The thought of such a conversation made me shudder.

  “Maybe you should tell him this yourself,” I suggested.

  Colin tensed and shook his head. “He doesn’t want to see me. I’m glad he’s back, but he doesn’t want to see me. Did he...” He looked at me warily.

  “He went there for revenge, but he didn’t get it. He changed his mind.”

  Something happened to Colin then. Something flashed in his eyes, like some realization came over him.

  “Dad?”

  We both jumped at the sound of Seth’s voice. He came down the stairs, looking expectantly between me and his father.

  I stepped back from the door.

  “Would you like to come in?” I asked Colin.

  He hesitated. We both looked at Seth.

  Hesitantly, Seth nodded. “Yeah. Come in.”

  Colin shuffled in, looking around himself uncertainly.

  “How about coffee?” I suggested.

  “I can make a pot,” Seth answered.

  “I, uh, I think I’ll go and pick up Starlet now.” I locked eyes with Seth. “I’ll be back in an hour or two.”

  His mouth tightened slightly, but he nodded, seeming to be okay with my departure.

  He and his father went into the kitchen, and I ran upstairs to change. Thinking I would give the men some extra time to talk things through, I put on leggings, a spandex tank top, and running shoes. A jog with Starlet would be good for both of us. Some exercise would cleanse me of this stress and Starlet the extra calories she always piled on at London’s. London liked to give her table scraps, next to nothing being off limits.

  Back downstairs, muffled voices came from the kitchen. I tried not to eavesdrop, grabbed my keys and booked it out of there.

  Chicago bathed in afternoon light looked different somehow. Maybe I was experiencing a reverse kind of culture shock after being in Afghanistan. Driving along my neighborhood’s tree-lined streets, I had trouble comprehending even the simplest sights. A woman pushing a jogging stroller. Teenagers on bikes. An old man tinkering around in his front garden.

  London answered her door with wide eyes. “You’re alive!”