Swimming in Sparkles

by Debra Anastasia

  “Yeah. I’m on my way, Anders. Can’t a girl love on her family for a minute or two?” She put her arm around the back of the booth.

  “Wait, who’s this guy?” Anders pointed at me with a pinkie. “I thought you had two brothers. Wait, three brothers, right?”

  I eyed the end of Anders’ finger. If he was any closer, I would have bitten it.

  Teddi got up out of the booth, stealing one of my fries on the way. “Something like that.”

  “Hey, can I get a ride home with you guys home?” Teddi picked a fry off of Pixie’s plate.

  Anders was instantly sad. “Wait, I drove you here. I’ll take you home.”

  She ignored him as Taylor appeared. “Girl, let’s split a shake.” She held out a hand and Teddi put her hand in it. Taylor waved at our booth and dragged Teddi toward the huge semi-circle booth in the back corner. There were kids spilling out of the ends, and some sat at the six top tables right next to it. The wait staff were going to have their hands full taking everyone’s orders, never mind delivering it all to the table.

  Austin leaned over. “If you wanna join them, you can. Most of them will be in your new school.”

  I took a bite out of my hamburger and then shook my head. After I swallowed, I explained, “I’ll let her do her thing. She dating that Anders guy?” He was sitting next to her and seemed to try to speak to her with every back and forth in the conversation. Maybe I asked too soon. Was it obvious that I might be willing to rip that guy’s arms off of his body if he touched her?

  Gaze glanced over his shoulder. “Nah. She says he’s annoying. His family has money, though, and she loves those donations.”

  “Her Me Parties are legendary now. They even did a piece in the newspaper on what they do.” Pixie put some salt on her vegetables.

  “Okay, can someone tell me what it’s all about? I mean, I know it has to do with Instagram and all her friends are in on it, but what the hell is it?” I took another bite. The hamburger was flat-out delicious.

  Austin put a napkin to his lips before responding, “Well, that’s really her story to tell, but I don’t want you confused.” He dragged his phone out of his pocket and started flipping through the photo albums there. “Here we go.”

  He flashed me a picture of Teddi way younger than she was now. Had to be in elementary school.

  “This was Teddi’s best friend growing up. They were inseparable. They would have sleepovers on school nights and then Ester had some of her clothes in Teddi’s room and vice versa. They said they were sisters.” He flipped through some more pictures. Ester’s bright smile got more dull and her hair thinned. All of a sudden she had a full head of thick hair, but I recognized it as a wig.

  “Cancer?” I guessed. Even though I knew. I recognized that look in Ester’s eyes. It reminded me of my mom.

  “Yes, aggressive. By the time she got radiation, it had spread to her spine. She and Teddi would make these long, hilarious videos together. And part of what Teddi did was a makeover. So they would have fun doing that together. Ester loved makeup.”

  Pixie reached for Gaze’s hand on the table, her eyes moist.

  Austin showed another picture. Both Ester and Teddi had bald heads. “My sister didn’t want Ester to ever be self-conscious, so when someone made fun of her hair at school, Teddi cut hers off with Dad’s electric razor. She started a trend when a good eighty percent of the kids in school followed her cue. Then Ester became one of many. Man, that kid fought so hard. But she was hit with pneumonia after a bout with an infection and it took her quickly. Teddi was in her room for two weeks, only leaving to go to the funeral. Ester was a huge reason Teddi started doing the Me Parties when she got older.

  “Now, she ropes local businesses into donating things, getting the local teams to join up for tasks, and each event has gotten bigger and bigger. It’s freaking amazing that she can still socialize. She is organized within an inch of her life.” Pixie took a sip of her water, ice clanking on the sides of the glass.

  I felt it. I felt the dedication to honor her friend. And I respected it. All the weird Me Party stuff made sense. Getting money from the Smiths made sense. The Me Parties weren’t about Teddi at all. I looked over to her table. She was leaning over the table head-to-head with Taylor. Whatever they were talking about was riveting. Anders stared at Teddi like a stalker with a telescope.

  “Thanks for clearing that up.” I handed Austin back his phone. The whole time I was holding it, notifications kept popping up for Instagram. “You got a lot going on here.”

  “You will too now that you have a new phone. You got it with you?” I reached into my pocket and hit the on button.

  Austin took it out of my hands. “I’ll program my number in here in case you need anything.” He passed my phone to Gaze and then Gaze added his and Pixie’s number as well as the Burathons’ contact information.

  I held my phone when he was done. It was hard to have this technology at my fingertips. We could do so much good with it in the community. Like check in on each other. I’d never been able to score phones before. Maybe when I got the big money, I would insist on it.

  Pixie offered her opinion. “If you get a chance, you should volunteer. It’s a great day and an amazing cause. Plus, I’m thinking Teddi would beat the snot out of us if we all don’t turn up and present a united front.”

  I ate the rest of my burger in silence, though the conversation swirled around me. I found myself hyperfocused on Anders and his relentless attention on Teddi.

  Teddi and I had something in common after all. We both hated cancer with everything in us.

  TEDDI

  IF I HAD to look at Anders’ pointy face one more time, I was going to scream. He had gotten it in his head that I had the hots for him because a few months ago—when I was still dating Dameon—I had told him his sneakers were cool. I had no idea a sneaker-loving girl was his holy grail when it came to a partner.

  I looked over my shoulder and made eye contact with Ruffian. Again with the zap and a hint of zip. His attention felt like a caress in a room where we were by ourselves. There was something else there now, too. Maybe a smidge of respect? Though I wasn’t sure where that was coming from, I’d take it.

  Taylor had annoyingly sat across from me, so we kept having to lean over the table to hear each other.

  “Ruffian is looking good.” She nodded in his direction. “Is he coming to school?”

  “I think so. He was giving it some thought.” I didn’t want to get into his upbringing. I wasn’t sure how much of that he told other people.

  “So, I think we’re good for the pre-planning, right?” I reached for Taylor’s hand so she would concentrate on me.

  “Are you surprised?” She lifted an eyebrow.

  They called me the General to make me laugh, but it was sort of true. I really pressed on my friends to help. It made them feel better. At least, I think it did. I knew it helped the families we were involved with, and they were the ones that needed it most.

  When our food arrived, it took four servers balancing trays for two trips to the kitchen. Halfway through my salad I felt a gentle tug on my ponytail. I tilted my head all the way back in my chair until I could see Austin’s face.

  “Teddi Bear. I’m headed back to my place. I love you.” He kissed me on the forehead and I patted his cheek. “You good for a ride home? Looks like you’ll be a while.”

  “Yeah. Anders’ll take me. Plus, this is kind of my meeting, so I’ll stay. Thank you, though. I’ll see you later.” I watched as Ruffian, Gaze, and Pixie waved themselves out the front door. The pang again. Missing Ruffian’s presence. Which was insane because he was all the way across the room for his meal. But it happened anyway. I wasn’t even sure it made sense to feel this way about him. When I met Taylor’s eyes, she had a knowing look and her smirk was off to the side.

  “Shush. You don’t even know.” She probably did know, though.

  _______________

  ANDERS WAS ANNOYING on the wa
y home. It was nice of him to give me a ride,but he kept talking about copping a game system that I wasn’t interested in. I felt bad for him, as my mind kept drifting to Ruffian. What would school be like with him there? Would he join in with me and my crowd? I wasn’t sure.

  I thanked Anders and hopped out of his truck before he could invite himself inside my house. I waved over my shoulder as I hit the front door.

  Gaze and Pixie’s truck was gone, as was Mom and Dad’s SUV. The door was unlocked, so I figured Ruffian was still home. When I got inside, he was sitting on the steps.

  “Hey.” I hung my coat up in the front closet.

  “Hey.” He was running his hands through his hair. “How was your meeting?”

  “Good. Thanks for asking. How was the mall?” I kicked off my shoes and put them on a shelf by the closet.

  “Okay. I mean, it was fun.” His brow furrowed.

  “You say that like it was the opposite of fun.” I went up the stairs and sat next to him.

  “Yeah. It was great. Gaze and Pixie are great. Austin’s hilarious. And we bought and bought and bought.” He let out a deep sigh.

  “You wanna show me what you got?” I touched his shoulder. Yup. The zip again.

  He pushed off the stairs. “I guess. I mean, sure.”

  I followed him downstairs. His floor was cluttered with bags.

  “You guys did some damage. Wow. Nice work.” I opened one of the bags and looked inside. I saw the tags from two of Austin’s go-to stores for basics.

  He gestured to all the bags. “Gaze bought it. I feel like it’s too much. How many outfits does one person need?”

  I watched him as he looked over the merchandise. Guilt, that’s what I saw in him.

  “Hey. It’s okay to get school clothes. I do it every year. What else did you get? Do you like any of it?” I walked over to a bag from a phone store.

  “I mean, yeah. But it’s just. I don’t know how to explain it.” He sat down on his bed.

  I dug into the bag and found the empty phone box. “We need you to have this so we can stay in contact.” I unwound the charger and plugged the brick into the wall.

  Ruffian pulled a wallet out of his pocket that also looked new. He showed me a credit card. It had Gaze’s name on it.

  “He said I have money on this. Is he rich? Is there something I don’t know about?” He rubbed his thumb across the strip where Gaze’s name was scribbled.

  “Gaze and Pixie had a few things work out for them. Your grandfather, as far as I understand it, owed Gaze some stuff. I think he is sharing that with you.”

  I was careful to not say too much. I didn’t really have a great understanding of Gaze’s situation as far as his father and grandfather went.

  “Yeah. It’s just hard. I could’ve done so much more with this money than get shit for me, you know?” I saw the pull on him. The want of the things in front of him and thinking of whoever he had in mind. Maybe Lucas. Maybe others.

  “You have to, I think, put it in a place in your head. What you need and what other people need.” I shrugged. The answer didn’t seem like it was enough.

  “How many people have you helped with your group?” He leaned toward me a little.

  “I don’t know. I used to be able to rattle it all off, but now I would have to check my notes.” I closed one eye and tried to picture all the names.

  “That’s great that you do that, by the way.” I saw real admiration in his expression.

  “It’s not enough. It can never be enough.” I was getting where he was coming from. Once helping, it was hard to imagine anything but who was hurting.

  Ruffian had a sad smile. “That’s for sure.”

  My phone started ringing. Well, vibrating in my pocket. I was surprised to see Meg calling. Calling, not texting. I slid the phone to unlock. “Hey, Meg.”

  I shot Ruffian a confused look.

  “Hey! So happy you picked up. My cousin and I are having a party this weekend. Can you guys make it?” I heard some talking in the background on her side.

  She was transparent. I knew where this invitation was headed. And I wasn’t wrong.

  “You’ll bring Ruffian, right?” She added an awkward laugh at the end of her question.

  “I’ll let you know. I have to see what we’ve got going on.” Ruffian lifted his eyebrows. He could hear her, I was betting. The speaker volume on my phone was loud.

  “Okay. You’ll come. Everyone will be here. You know, a great time to talk up your special little parties. That my mom donated to.”

  I let the silence answer for me. It wasn’t exactly blackmail, but it sort of was. “I’ll let you know. Thanks for the invite.”

  I ended the call and put the phone back into my pocket.

  “Are we gonna have to go to that?” Ruffian shook his head slowly.

  “Maybe. There’s some really annoying things we have to do sometimes.” I was already dreading dealing with Meg some more. “It’d be good for you to meet the other people in our grade if you go to school with me, though.”

  I had never had to change schools, staying with the same crew every year, more or less. But I was betting having more than one person to know would be good.

  RUFFIAN

  MS. JOSEPHINE AND Ronna could work some angles. I learned that pretty quickly. We decided that on Monday I’d report to school, where they had agreed to give me a placement test. Depending on how I did, they could have me in school as early as Tuesday. And that’s where I wanted to be. Just an average student. Not even close to a rotten apple that would be willing to steal from his neighbors.

  Teddi was a ball of energy. Her hands were always busy. She was either emailing or posting stuff on Instagram while making phone calls.

  Gaze and Pixie would be at the Burathons’ house until after Thanksgiving. So that was good. More people coming and going. I had gotten my act together enough to put away the new clothes. Playing the long game. I needed to fit in with these kids and repurposing the same two pairs of jeans was not going to get me in good. I did call a pizza parlor in Midiville and order pizza for the community at the parking lot. It made it so I could close my eyes at night despite the guilt. I called and spoke to Lucas at Seasons and he literally had never sounded better. He was excited to have friends in the building and a group that went to work together a few times a week at the local thrift store. He was so involved in telling me about what was new, I didn’t get a chance to ask how Grandma/Mom was doing before he hung up.

  Things were okay. Good even. Going to the party with Teddi was seeming more and more like a date to my traitorous brain. I was thinking about what to wear and how we would get there. It turned out she wore a pair of jeans with faded spots and some ink designs scrolled all over them, a white fluffy sweater and gold heart earrings. She smelled like cotton candy when she met me in the foyer.

  “We need to bundle up. It’s going to be cold as crap out there tonight.” She and I put on our coats as Ronna came out of the kitchen drying her hands. She looked down on us from the top of the stairs.

  “You guys good? I can give you a ride if you need one. I don’t mind. And Dad can pick you up.” She glanced from the window to us and back again.

  “It’s not a far walk to Meg’s. It’ll keep us warm.” Teddi opened the front door before I could get it for her. As we waved goodbye to Ronna, Teddi held the screen door for me. I had to move quickly to keep Tiger from trying to run out.

  “That little bugger. He knows we aren’t letting him outside. I don’t know why he tries every single time. Do you have your phone with you?” She turned toward me. We still had some light in the sky, but in a few weeks dinnertime would feel like the middle of the night thanks to the early sunsets.

  I patted the front pocket of my jeans. It was there. It was charged. And it was weird to have one. Teddi started telling me everyone’s names and who was dating who on the walk over before switching the topic.

  “Just so you know, and I think you already do, but just in
case, Meg is going to put the moves on you. And she’s used to getting whatever she wants. Which is ridiculous. But the money makes people act different around her.”

  I had the longer legs, but Teddi’s pace was pretty brutal. We stayed side by side, with only the occasional car making us step to the side and take refuge on someone’s front lawn for a few moments.

  The gate was flung wide open when we got to Meg’s driveway and began walking up without using the intercom this time.

  “They expecting us?” I tilted my head toward the speaker.

  “They’re expecting everyone. When Meg throws a party, it’s only because her parents went away without her. She does this to punish them, I guess. But the place is always spotless when we leave because the staff stays on.” She pulled her hair into a ponytail before letting it fall down around her shoulders again.

  “Wow. Is that even legal? That seems like a tough position to put the staff in.” I wasn’t sure the etiquette for bossing people around when you also gave them a salary.

  The front door was open, despite the cold, with the butler standing by. He nodded as we entered. “You cold, bro?” I was hyperaware of temperature and its effects on the human body.

  “I’m fine, sir. Thank you.” He gave me a slow nod, but I saw that the tips of his fingers were white.

  Meg bounded up to us like she’d been waiting on us. “Ruffian! You made it.” She was holding a glass of wine. Or liquid in a wine glass. “Come inside to the party. This foyer is freezing.” She had a strapless dress on and exaggerated a shiver.

  “That’s because your door is open. Letting all the heat out into the yard. You love the environment, right?” I looked down my nose at her like the environment was all I could think about.

  She leaned to the side and her face slid into a very robotic expression. “Close the door. It’s cold.”

  The robotness fell off when she looked at me again. I heard the door close behind me. I highly doubted that the butler had made the decision to leave the door open on his own. Either way, the man would be less cold now. “So where’s the party?” I wanted to distract her now. I didn’t like the way she looked at the butler and wanted to avert her attention elsewhere.