Swimming in Sparkles

by Debra Anastasia

  When it had cleared a bit, the two seniors in charge of daily announcements spoke up. When the line had dwindled, Mabel motioned us forward, saying in a hushed voice, “Mrs. Fartuna is expecting you in conference room A. Teddi, are you going to show him?”

  I nodded. She had me fill out the pass I would need to get around the building. We had to pause for the Pledge of Allegiance, and then everyone got back to business. I opened the door and the halls were fairly empty.

  “Damn. You guys cram all those kids in, huh?” He leaned forward as we passed classrooms to peer through the sliver of glass in every door.

  I made a left and we walked down the alcove that had the conference room that Mrs. Fartuna was due to be in. I yanked on the heavy door and Ruffian caught it above my head so he could hold it open for the two of us.

  Mrs. Fartuna had an office attached to the conference room and I gently rapped my knuckles on her doorframe.

  “Teddi. Come on in. And this must be Ruffian.” She stood behind her desk and Ruffian smiled at her. He was still looking around at the walls and windows like we might be entering a jail cell and not a school.

  “Yes, ma’am.” He was polite.

  She came around her desk and gathered up a packet of papers from her windowsill. “You and I are going to spend a lot of time together for the next few days.” Then she turned to me expectedly. I took that as my cue.

  “Is he going to take a lunch break?” I mentally reviewed my schedule in my head.

  She looked at the calendar on the wall of her office. “I’ve got my break at one o’clock, so that’s second lunch.”

  I nodded. “Okay, I’ll be back then.” I turned to him to assess his well-being. He still looked nervous. I pulled my backpack around to the front of my body and took out a pencil and a calculator. “These are lucky, so maybe they will help. I’ll see you in a little bit.”

  Ruffian gave me a forced smile. I waved to him as I slid my backpack back on. I had to get to English. I tried not to worry about him. It felt like I was asking someone to play pro level football. Nerve-racking. I had to believe that Pixie had done a good job getting him ready.

  RUFFIAN

  MRS. FARTUNA SEEMED nice enough. Teddi was hesitant to leave me. I watched her drag her feet and look over her shoulder twice before finally closing the door to the conference room.

  I tapped her pencil on the thick varnish layered on top of the million-year-old conference table. It was nice of Teddi to give it to me and walk me in here. She didn’t have any idea how much screaming was going on in my head. Mom had told me that school was evil pretty much my whole life. She didn’t want anyone to dictate how I had to spend my time. “Time was limited,” she’d say. “Why do kids have to be trapped in jails for six plus hours a day? They needed to explore, create, seek out their own journeys.”

  This place was all business. Fartuna slid the first stack of papers over to me. I flipped through them. Printed on one side and blank on the other. Wasting all the paper. I looked at the ceiling. Was this a sign from Mom, too? That this place was wasteful and wrong. I closed the packet.

  Fartuna had two phone calls before she could get back to me. “These are not timed. You can’t use your phone or a dictionary or anything. It’ll give us a good base level of your skills.”

  She pointed to the closed door in the conference room. “That’s the bathroom if you need it. You don’t have to ask. Just make sure to leave your test and your phone. I’m going to bring my laptop out here and work on this end. Just in case you have any questions.”

  Mrs. Fartuna had a smile. I should probably return it, but the expectations intimidated me. Literally hours in one room with a packet of paper and a pencil. Assessment. Mom always treated that like a dirty word. I found out why for hours. I went to the bathroom twice. I felt like my brain was melting from my ears. The questions were so pointless. They weren’t getting me anywhere. I wasn’t solving problems, just answering questions. I had to stretch a few times. I knew I was grumbling under my breath when Mrs. Fartuna tutted, “How’s it going there?”

  “Fine. I can’t believe there’s more of this tomorrow. It’s really something.” I tapped the paper with the end of Teddi’s pencil.

  “But when it’s over, it’ll be over. And then you won’t have to do this exact test again.” She went back to typing on her laptop.

  Time had never actually moved slower. I knew how many outlets the room had, how many words a minute Mrs. Fartuna was typing, and the fact that the sound of my pencil on paper could annoy me.

  I still had a half hour until Teddi would pop in for lunch when the conference room door was flung open.

  An angry guy stomped into the room.

  Mrs. Fartuna stood with a huff. “Philip. Please don’t tell me this is about someone standing in front of your locker again.” She pointed to her office. He growled as he went before her. Before she closed the door, she told me, “You can keep going. When Teddi gets here, you can leave with her. Just flip your papers over.”

  I looked down. More questions. I made sure to listen to the goings on in Mrs. Fartuna’s office, but other than a few raised voices, it sounded under control.

  Teddi carefully opened the door after another jarring bell. I flipped my papers over and was by the door before she had to say a word. I wanted out. The walls were closing in on me. The sheer amount of people was overwhelming.

  “Hey, is there a place where we can go outside for a few minutes?” I put my back against the brick hallway.

  She looked me over from my head to my feet and back again. “Yeah. Come with me. Senior privileges.”

  She took my hand and I blindly followed her. She weaved through the people and elbowed a few guys out of the way and I let her. We got to an outside door, and she pushed it open. There was a wedge of wood that she jammed under the door so it was propped open.

  “Here. This is where we come out for the fields. It’s sort of half allowed to be here.” She set her backpack onto the ground. I walked outside and took deep breaths.

  “That was hard.” I started to pace.

  “The test? I’m sorry.” She wrapped her hands around herself in a hug. It was cold. I was using the cold air to clear my head.

  “Are you cold?” I slipped off my hoodie, leaving the Austin approved t-shirt underneath. I held out my hoodie for her.

  She came over and slid her arms in it. I covered her head with the hood.

  “Were the questions too much?” The concern in her face was touching. Like a friend would be when they were worried.

  “It’s just the amount of people. It gets to me. I’m sorry. I just need some air.” I put my hands on my knees.

  “You lived in the city?” And she was right.

  “Yeah, but we set the terms, usually.” My anxiety was still running my mouth and some realness tumbled out. “When I was younger, we tried to use the shelters for a while. They were really crowded. Super crowded. And I remember getting separated from my mom and then a guy found me. He was probably trying to be helpful, but his whole face scared the hell out of me. And everywhere I turned to get out of there I was running into another person. It was so crowded. I never liked the crowds.”

  Deep breath in. Deep breath out. I felt Teddi’s hand rub the center of my back through the t-shirt. Her touch was a defibrillator. Shocking. Brought everything I was to life.

  This was not the way to prove I was one hundred percent okay. That I was trustworthy. No damage. I peeked at her. No pity, but care in her face.

  “If it’s too much, I can take you home. We can leave right now.” She looked good in my baggy hoodie, her fingers just cresting the edge of the hem.

  I wanted to kiss her. I could almost feel how it’d be. When I would pull her to me, I’d have to be prepared for all the extra material, pressing it against her until I connected with her lower back. And then I’d stand up and pull her off her feet a little, kissing her mouth and finding out what this compassion tasted like.

  “Ruf
fian?” She said my name, and part of my scrambled head thought she was asking me to actually take her in my arms. Then she touched my face with her cold fingertips. “Are you okay?”

  I leaned into her hand. Maybe I was trying to warm her hand. Maybe I was trying to cool my face. I turned my head and gently kissed the end of her fingertips. I heard her inhale sharply.

  Too far. I took this too far.

  And then she had her other hand under my chin, pulling me up so my face was even with hers. She was looking from my eyes to my mouth and back again.

  “Hey. Let’s go home, okay?” She put both her hands on my face, running her thumb over my lip. “I think you need a few minutes.”

  The people panic mixed with the banging need to touch her was actually making me woozy.

  Teddi let go of me and then got her backpack. In a moment she was under my arm, with her hand wrapped around my middle. I liked this. Liked her with me like we were dating. Like she was mine.

  I was lost in her face, watching her process how she was getting us out. I knew there was security somewhere. Were there cameras? Maybe they could take a picture for us, while I was like this with her. Send it to me. Let me remember this moment in paper and in my heart.

  Before I knew it, Teddi was opening the passenger door of the truck that I had parked like an old drunk lady a few hours earlier. I got in. Once she had started it up, it occurred to me that my stuff was still in the conference room. Except for my phone. I had that in my pocket even though I was supposed to have left it.

  “How’d you get the keys?” I pointed at the ignition.

  “I have a key to everyone’s car.” She watched the light in front of the school until it turned green. She was literally busting me out of school.

  “Are you going to get in trouble for this?” I was starting to feel clearer.

  She waved her hand dismissively. “No. I can talk myself out of anything.”

  That must be nice. To know you were safe to disagree with authority because you were Teddi Burathon. Her name meant something.

  “What’s really going on here, Ruff?” She looked at me before returning to the business of driving.

  “I don’t know.” That’s all I could say. I couldn’t tell her that I wanted to rob people. I couldn’t tell her that I was pretty much assured to spend my life in prison for doing just that. What kind of life plan would that be for someone like her? She had her Google docs and her group of friends to make a difference in this world.

  Teddi made a turn and handed me her phone. “Can you pull up the food app? My regular order should be there and pick whatever you want. We need to eat. Both of us.”

  I didn’t want to take more from this family, but I was starving. My incident at school had made me hungry. I picked a hamburger meal and a drink.

  “Okay, hit order and tell me what the ETA time is?” She stopped at another light and I showed her what I had done. “Perfect. By the time we get there, the food will be ready.”

  I watched her phone as the food moved from preparing to bagging up. By the time Teddi told the speaker our name, the app had moved to the green ready button.

  She passed the drinks for me to hold and put the bag between us. She pulled into a parking lot a few blocks down. It had a view of a creek through the thinning leaves on the trees.

  Once we were settled, we got busy with passing out the food. Teddi put on the radio and we watched the birds and squirrels hop around. After we finished, I felt a lot better.

  “Thanks for that. I really needed something.” I gathered all the trash and put it into the brown paper bag.

  “No problem.” She grabbed a rogue napkin and cleaned up some ketchup. Then she asked, “Are you homesick?”

  “I don’t know. I mean, I thought I was good, but maybe I should go back to Midiville and just check them out. You know? It’s cold out now.” I tapped my fingers on the dashboard. And that was another problem. I wasn’t supposed to interact with them anymore. How could I be falling apart this quickly?

  “We can do that. You want to go on Friday? We have a professional planning half day off.” Teddi started the truck and headed back to the house. I was quiet, thinking about what I could do, what a trip would mean to the community and me.

  She pulled into the driveway of the Burathons and put the truck in park. I grabbed the bag of trash we made at lunch and Teddi and I got out of the car. On our way through the garage, I tossed it out.

  “Are you missing class right now?” I mean, obviously.

  “Just marketing. Taylor’s in that one. She’s liable to dress up clothes from the lost and found and make it a full-size puppet of me.”

  Ronna met us at the top of the steps. “You guys are back early? Everything okay?”

  She wiped her hands onto a dishcloth.

  “Yeah, Ma. We had to get some air.” She hugged her mother and they started a conversation about the parties.

  And that was it. That was how they dealt with Teddi. They trusted her. It was cool to see and reminded me of my mom. She treated me like a person, even when I was younger. My opinion mattered.

  I walked down to my bedroom and flopped back onto the bed, pushing my hair out of my eyes. Maybe I wasn’t cut out for this job I had assigned myself. I felt lost in it all. Maybe this whole thing was stupid and my mom wasn’t meant to be remembered. I pulled my wallet out of my pocket. Gaze said I had six hundred dollars. I had bought pizzas the other night, but maybe I could get a few new tents and solar lanterns for the crew.

  Teddi knocked lightly on my door. I waved her in.

  “So I have to head back. The cheer team needs to meet and wants me to join in. Mom’s upstairs if you need anything. I’ll see if I can get Peaches to snag your bag.” She waited for my response, so I propped myself up on my elbows.

  “Isn’t Mrs. Fartuna going to be worried?” I still had a mountain of paperwork to do.

  Teddi shook her head slowly. “I texted my dad and he made a phone call while we were walking out to the truck. She’ll be ready to finish the testing when you’re ready.”

  “Thanks again.” I slumped back onto the bed and it gave my upper torso a little bounce. Teddi was efficient. I had to give her that.

  “No worries. Are you good for me to go? I mean, you seem good.” She stepped closer.

  “Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you, though.” I covered my eyes with my hands.

  This situation I was in could be really good if I just let myself walk away from all the people who had counted on Mom and me. If I decided to just think of me and put what I wanted first… I felt shame for even hosting the idea. My mother’s legacy was on me. I had to hold true to it.

  I picked up my phone and saw three texts from Meg. She wanted to know if I would come over to her house later. That was a big no, but I made sure to flirt a little. I needed to get more of the layout of her place and get the people there used to seeing me around. I needed trust and lots of it.

  Chapter 27

  TEDDI

  I WAS WAITING for Ruffian for the end of his placement test outside the conference room. He was due to finish just before the bell released us for the day. I wanted to make sure he didn’t get overwhelmed again. He’d brought his lunch and said he was allowed to eat it during the test, so I hadn’t seen him since we went our separate ways this morning.

  The bell buzzed and like clockwork, the students poured into the hallways. When the door to the conference room opened and I caught sight of Ruffian in my peripheral vision, I turned and pushed him gently back into the room.

  “We can wait in here. Let the halls clear out. The parking lot will be a nightmare anyway.”

  His hand covered mine on his chest.

  “We can go. It’ll be okay. I know what to expect now.” I looked into his eyes to check how he was really doing, and he looked good. Sure.

  I was still reluctant but stepped out of the way when he released my hand.

  Ruffian stepped around me like the day before hadn’t happened at all.
I pushed my way to his side. He navigated the crowd, and instead of struggling to stay next to him, slipped behind him. He was tall enough to see over most people, so he picked our way out.

  When we cleared the doors and the throngs of people, I came up next to him again.

  “See? Easy.” He winked at me. Playful Ruffian.

  I didn’t want to dwell on the stark difference in his behavior. If he wanted to put it behind him, so be it. As we walked to Gaze’s truck, we had to weave in and out of spots to avoid others backing up.

  “Some people act like their car is on fire to get out of here.” I watched as somebody ran over a curb in their rush, their hubcap shooting off like a rocket.

  “Seems like.” Ruffian unlocked the doors with the key fob and then came over to the passenger side. He opened the door for me and I tossed my backpack into the backseat before hopping in the passenger side.

  He slid behind the driver’s seat and adjusted his rearview mirror. “Looks like we have a wait.”

  “We will. Because safety and security stops traffic to get the buses out. We have like ten minutes of just hanging out.” I looked at my phone. I had three messages for my Me Parties. Two recommendations for clients and one request. I opened the request first. I could tell the email was written by someone young.

  Dear Me Party People:

  I am writing for my sister, who is suffering from lymphoma. I love her very much, and she has treatment coming. After it is over, it would be great for Betty to go to prom. It’s her dream. And her doctors have said that she might not make it there. Thank you.

  Love, Ayler

  I marked it as important and swiped up the application. I’d do business later, but I was already letting my mind wander to Ayler’s sister. A prom could be doable. Especially if we folded her into our Winter Formal.

  “You’re somewhere else in your head.” Ruffian smiled at me.

  “Sorry. How was the back end of the test?” I put my phone in my lap.