A Love Worth Searching For

by Kathleen Ball

  He hated the longing in her voice. There was going to be a celebration for reaching Independence Rock, and he wished he could escort her. It would be heaven to have her in his arms as they danced.

  “They’ll start playing music any minute. A few of the other wagon trains will be celebrating too, so I expect it’ll get pretty loud.”

  “I remember wanting to dance with you before…”

  “I remember. I had to keep telling myself you were too young.”

  She nodded and sighed. “It seems like so long ago. It’s funny how time can go so fast, and at other times, it goes so very slow. My last two years were very slow. Now I’m taking things moment by moment. Times like this with you go by quickly, but the times when I’m stared at and treated worse than mud on their shoes, goes slow. But I can’t go back and change anything, and I’m finding it hard to regain my old life. I don’t belong in either world. Every night I would think of what it would be like to be rescued. I thought people would be happy to see me. I never thought that they’d turn their backs on me for not killing myself. It took everything I had to survive. It would have been easy to die. Sometimes I’m not sure I made the right decision. But then there are moments like this where I can talk to you and I’m glad I’m back.”

  The first strains of music played and Jed stood and offered her his hand. She shyly put her hand in his and stood. He led her away from the fire, drew her into his arms, and led them in a dance. “You remember.”

  “I practiced a lot when I was young. I wanted to be the belle of the ball someday.” A sigh slipped free. “I was foolish.”

  He pulled her closer. “Never foolish. I’m very glad you are here. I was going crazy with worry about you. It was almost as though without you the sun was never as bright as it once was. Never as bright as when you were here. I feel incredibly lucky to have found you.”

  He twirled her around the grass and they laughed and smiled. Finally they stopped but their gaze held. He leaned down and she tilted her head up toward him. Her lips looked so dewy soft as they slightly parted. He was tempted, so very tempted to kiss her but he couldn’t. He kissed her forehead and took a step back.

  “Thank you for the dance, Lily.” He still held her hand as he walked them back to their fire. The silence between them grew and it was on the verge of uncomfortable.

  “I’m going to try to sleep,” she said as she slipped her hand from his. “Thank you. I had a fine time.”

  Before he had a chance to reply, she was in the wagon. And she had taken some of his happiness with her.

  Jed walked around the circle of wagons making sure everything was going well. Sometimes things didn’t go so well with other trains. He once saw feuding families on different trains try to kill each other. He spotted Ricky Richards watching Lily’s wagon.

  He snuck up on him. “What are you doing?”

  The startled boy yelped. “I was just makin’ sure Lily was fine. I heard Garber and Miss Wanda talkin’ about how she could be kidnapped again and put on another train. I like Lily, and I’m makin’ it my business to see that they don’t steal her.”

  Jed nodded. “Good man. Next time come tell me so I don’t shoot you by mistake.”

  “Yes, sir. I will!”

  “I think I can take over for now. I’ll let you know if I need you.”

  Ricky nodded and took off. He was a responsible young man.

  Jed contemplated confronting Garber and Wanda but he decided not to tip them off. They’d just deny it. Lily had tried to stay out of their way but they just couldn’t let it go. Why couldn’t people just mind their own business?

  “So far it’s been fairly quiet,” Rex said as he stood next to Jed. “It’s strange but there haven’t been many fights to break up. I think maybe it’s because the group next to ours are all part of some religion. They don’t dance but many of the men are good storytellers. It’s been entertaining.”

  “I got a tip from Ricky Richardson. Garber and Wanda were talking about kidnapping Lily and giving her to one of the other trains.” Jed ran his hand over his face. “I don’t remember ever seeing them talking before.”

  “You sure Ricky is on the up and up? That boy is sweet on Lily.”

  “Seemed credible to me. He was standing guard right here when I found him.”

  Rex shook his head. “Come to think of it, they were talking for a bit. I thought maybe a romance was in the making. Other than that, Wanda has been with the women having a hen party.”

  Jed grinned.

  “What’s so funny?” Rex asked.

  “I wonder what they’d do if they heard you call their gossip parties hen parties?”

  “They don’t take kindly to their discussions being called gossip parties either,” Smitty whispered behind them. “If you two are on lookout, you aren’t very good at it. You didn’t even hear me coming up on ya.”

  “We heard you. Didn’t we Rex? I know you pride yourself on being a silent walker, so I didn’t let on.”

  Smitty laughed. “You keep telling yourself those fibs, but it’s the kind of thing that can get you killed.” He turned and walked in the other direction.

  Rex shrugged his shoulders. “I didn’t hear him, Jed.”

  Jed’s lip twitched. “Neither did I. I’ll stay here, you keep an eye out.”

  “Got it boss.”

  Jed leaned against a wagon wheel. Did Garber have a death wish? Maybe he was the one who’d tried to stab Lily through the wagon canvas. It was impossible to know for sure. Of course, Lily was changed from her time away, but she always watched how others did things in a public setting. She had nice manners and didn’t eat with her hands like most people expected her to. She went along with everything that polite society expected. She was leaner and well-muscled. When he touched her, she didn’t have an ounce of fat on her. Once in awhile, her English was halting but it was getting much better. The only thing was the color of her skin. You could tell she’d spent much time outside without a bonnet on. Why should it make much of a difference?

  All was right in camp. Couples walked hand in hand and children ran. It was a good feeling to be at Independence Rock before Independence Day. It meant they were ahead of schedule. He had no way of knowing what was ahead that might slow them down.

  The celebration was winding down, and he kept watch from the shadows of a nearby wagon’s wheel. Garber and Wanda strolled by hand in hand. They stopped for a moment and looked around. Then they whispered for a moment and looked around again. Garber shook his head but Wanda kept pulling at his sleeve. Garber reached down into his boot and drew out a long bladed knife.

  “Evening, Wanda, Garber. Nice night don’t you think?” Jed had his gun drawn but he still leaned against the wagon wheel.

  Garber turned pale while Wanda’s face flushed deep red.

  “Jed, didn’t see you there,” Garber said in a lazy trying-to–sound-innocent voice. He leaned down and returned his knife to his boot.

  “I’ve been watching you most of the evening,” Jed lied.

  Garber and Wanda exchanged flustered gazes.

  “Garber has asked me to marry him,” Wanda tried to smile.

  Jed wasn’t buying it. “What did your brother have to say? He gave you his blessing didn’t he? You know, we can have the reverend perform the wedding tomorrow. Won’t that be a fine thing?” Jed had to bit his lip to keep from laughing at Garber’s expression a deep dismay.

  Wanda swallowed hard. “We’re off to find my brother now. Promise me you won’t tell anyone until I tell him.”

  “Well if you’re going to tell Dave now, I won’t have to keep the secret long. Congratulations.”

  “Well, err, thanks,” Garber mumbled. “Let’s get going, Wanda.”

  Jed watched as they walked away. They seemed to be arguing about something. He couldn’t help the big grin that spread. It would serve them right to be stuck with each other. His smile faded. They were a real threat to Lily. Garber had his knife out, and Jed was fairly certain th
e man had planned to use it.

  He’d make sure that Garber’s wagon was nowhere near Wanda’s. This way he could see if they crossed the wagon circle to see one another. He’d alert the others on guard to let him know if they meet. Unless they did get married. He shook his head. They were idiots but dangerous ones.

  Chapter Five

  Lily drove the wagon with her gun at her side and her knife strapped to her leg. It had been three weeks since they’d left Independence Rock, and the hair on the back of her neck was constantly standing on end. At first, she thought it to be Garber and Wanda but they really didn’t scare her. She just had a bad feeling and she planned to be ready.

  They were getting ready to ford the Sweetwater River for the third time. Jed said they’d end up fording it six times before they were done. The water didn’t scare her, but the tension within the party was always high. So far, the crossings had been uneventful but they’d been warned that the water for the next one was higher than usual.

  The closer they got, the louder the rushing water sounded. It was extremely fast moving, with dangerous looking white rapids. Surely there was a better place to cross. She scanned up and down the river and sighed; no place looked safe.

  Smitty always went first. Then he immediately built a fire on the bank in case anyone ended up in the water. Rex rode downriver and waited in case he needed to pluck anyone out of the water. It had been the same at each crossing, but she knew this one was not the same.

  She held her breath when Smitty crossed. He made it look easy. Perhaps she needed to relax a bit. The line moved slowly, and it was finally her turn. With a stiff grip on the traces, she drove the oxen into the river. The roaring of the water was louder than anything else she’d heard in awhile. It was a great relief when she made it to the next bank.

  Behind her were the Scotts. Tara sat on the front bench with her father. Lily heard a scream and instantly pulled the brake and tied off the reins. She jumped down and saw Tara bobbing up and down in the fast-moving water.

  Jed quickly crossed and rode along the bank. Then there was a gunshot. Lily couldn’t see what was going on, so she began to run. She’d become a rather swift runner the last two years and she was the first to reach the Indian lying on the ground. She gasped as she recognized Chayton, the Sioux warrior that had kidnapped her. Blood pooled under him. Eyes wide, she looked around for Jed; he must have shot Chayton.

  Dropping to her knees, she checked the Sioux’s wound. It was a death wound, and they both knew it.

  “Chumani, my heart. They stole you away from me,” Chayton said. He winced as he tried to move.

  “Chayton, you are on a fool’s errand. I am with my people now. I want to be with my people.” Lily put his head in her lap. “You should have stayed with the tribe.”

  His black eyes flashed in anger. “I came after my woman. You belong to me. They had no right to sell you while I was on a hunt.”

  Lily brushed her hand along his cheekbone. “I belong to no one. I was never your woman, and you know that. I do thank you for your many kindnesses, but in my heart I can’t forgive that you stole me from my mother. She is now dead.”

  “If I had the chance to do it over, I would still take you with me. You are so beautiful.” He coughed a few times. “Techihhila.” His body went limp.

  Sensing she wasn’t alone she glanced up. “He’s dead,” she said to Jed. She gently lay Chayton’s head on the ground and stood. “How did Tara fare?”

  “She’s mad as a wet hen but she’ll be fine. She has some cuts and bruises from the rocks on the water. An arrow hit one of their oxen.”

  “Is the ox dead?”

  “No, just mad. Let’s get you back.” He took her hand then stopped. “You knew him.”

  She nodded. “Yes, Chayton was the one who stole me that day in the river. He came to take me again.”

  “He’s far from home, isn’t he?”

  “Yes, and it appears he traveled alone. I was traded to the trappers when he was away from the village. It made him angry.” She sighed. Her body began to shake.

  Jed took her into his arms and held her, but she didn’t find comfort. She’d hated Chayton but felt no relief at his death. Tara had almost drowned, and it was her fault. The death would have been on her head.

  “You don’t have to worry about him anymore. You were mighty brave running through the woods. It was a sight to behold.”

  She tilted her head until she caught his gaze. “I thought it was you who was hurt. I came as fast as I could to help you. I caught a glimpse of the arrow and then heard the shot. His arrow landed true. He probably planned to distract everyone so he could take me.”

  “He must have cared for you.”

  She stepped out of his arms and turned her back on him. “No, it wasn’t about caring or love. It was about his pride. He owned me, and to him I was stolen away.”

  “If you don’t mind me asking, what did he say to you?” Jed’s voice was so soft and gentle. It was such a contrast to how Chayton used to yell at her.

  “He said I was beautiful and that he loved me.” She sighed. “We’d best get back. They’ll want to string me up again.”

  “I’m sure it’s nothing that drastic.” Jed didn’t sound very confident.

  Turning back toward him, she gave him a nod. “Let’s go.” They walked quickly and silently. Techihhila? How could Chayton say he loved her when he treated her like a dog? He’d never so much as favored her with a smile. No, there was no love between them. He was an abusive prideful man who didn’t have love in him to give. His tribe would mourn him when he didn’t return, and Lily was sad for his mother, Macawi. Her lips twitched.

  “What is it?” Jed asked.

  “I was just thinking about his mother. Her name is Macawi, which means generous. The funny thing is that she was the stingiest woman on earth. She was the type that wouldn’t give a bare bone to a dying dog.”

  “You knew her well.”

  “I was her slave. Chayton owned me but I was her slave. I knew her too well. She’d rather hit and kick than try to teach me to speak her language. Chayton taught me a bit at a time. Let’s not speak of it now. I’m trying to forget all that.”

  Jed smiled at her. “Yes, it sounds best forgotten. I’m sure we have a bunch of questions to answer at camp.”

  Her body chilled, and she wished she could just walk away from it all. Everyone except for Jed, Smitty,Owen and Rex.

  Jed’s stomach tightened at the angry faces he viewed back at camp. Tara was still crying, wailing was more accurate. She was now wearing dry clothes and drinking what looked to be a bit of whiskey at Smitty’s fire.

  The rest of the party watched as he and Lily approached.

  Tara’s father took a step forward. “How dare you bring that, that Indian back here? She’s the reason my poor Tara almost drowned. I want her gone, banished, killed. I don’t care what but I won’t have her near my family!” His face grew redder as he talked.

  “How is Tara?” Jed asked.

  “She’s beyond upset. We all are!” her father yelled.

  Jed nodded, took Lily’s hand, and walked to the fire. “You can get in the wagon if you like,” he whispered to her.

  “No,” she replied as she lifted her head and stared out at the crowd.

  “The Indian who shot the arrow is dead—”

  “You should have scalped him!” A man in the crowd shouted.

  “There was no sign of any other Indians in the area so we think he acted alone,” Jed continued. “The best thing for us to do is to get in our wagons and put some distance between us and the dead Indian.”

  Wanda pointed her finger at Lily. “This is her fault! She led that Indian here. Tara could have been killed. And why is her dress so bloody?”

  Lily opened her mouth but Jed talked faster. “I shot the Indian but he wasn’t dead. He was about to shoot an arrow at me when Lily threw her knife at him, killing him. She went to see if he was dead or if she could save him. That’s
why she has blood on her.” Lily’s eyes widened at his lies.

  “Still it’s a lot of blood,” Wanda said with a sniff.

  “I held his head in my lap as he died. It was the least I could do,” Lily explained.

  Jed held up his hand to silence the protests from the crowd. “Listen folks, we’re moving on. Be ready in a quarter hour.” He stood until the crowd dispersed. A chill went up his spine. This wasn’t the end of it, and he had a feeling it was going to get a lot worse before it got better.

  He took the mug of coffee Smitty offered. “How’s the ox? Did you have to put him down?”

  Smitty shook his head. “The arrow went through his ear. Good shot that Indian had. Listen, I hate to tell you this, but things were getting pretty tense around here.”

  “Let me guess, they want to lynch her.”

  Smitty nodded. “That about sums it up. I want her riding with me today. One of the other boys can drive your wagon. I don’t trust anyone now. Most are out for blood.”

  “There’s been enough bloodshed. I’ll take Lily to our wagon so she can get changed, then she’ll ride with you.”

  Smitty nodded. “That was some whopper you told the group. You killed that Indian, not her.”

  “Smitty, think what you want. You always seem to know the truth of things.”

  Smitty smiled. “When it comes to you and your brothers, I could always ferret what was really going on.”

  Jed smiled back. “Lily, let’s go and get you washed up.”

  A while later Jed yelled “Wagons ho!” It was a relief to be moving again. He was more than a little afraid for Lily. People refused to listen to reason. They all believed that Lily had invited the Indian and that Tara ending up in the river was Lily’s fault as well. He felt bad for Tara’s scary incident and wished he could have prevented it, but neither he nor Lily had any way to know what was about to happen.

  “Everything all right?” Rex asked as he rode alongside Jed.

  “Heck, nothing seems right. What was the reverend doing while we were in the woods? Was he trying to calm people down? Was he giving Tara some sympathy?”