I ignore my morning call from Tamsyn because I’m too sick to speak to her. Instead I shoot her a message letting her know that I got drunk with my dad and I’m under the weather. Of course she messages me back wishing she was here to take care of me.
I’m the worst person on the face of the earth. The longer I’m awake, the harder it is to deny I slept with Liv. By noon I’m forced to call her to figure it out.
When she answers I cringe at the sound of her voice. “Josh. How are you feeling?”
She knows I was drunk. This is terrible. “What the fuck did you do to me?”
“I got the truth. Don’t be mad. We can talk about it later today.”
“The hell we will. Whatever you think happened between us, didn’t. Do you catch my drift? Are you hearing me clearly, Liv? It never happened. Furthermore, I want you to stay the hell away from me and Tamsyn.”
“But.”
“No. Shut the fuck up and listen for once. We are nothing. I have a girlfriend that I adore. Last night was a big fucking mistake. I won’t let you take her from me. Please, if you ever gave a shit about me, you’ll let me be happy.”
She’s crying again, and I don’t even care anymore. “Josh. You can’t ask me to do that.”
“I’m not asking. I’m telling you. I’ll deny it. I’ll lie until I’m blue in the face. Nothing happened between us. We’re over. I don’t love you. Anything I felt for you ended last night when you took advantage of me. You manipulated me while I was intoxicated. What kind of sick and pathetic person does that?”
“You’re being an asshole. Maybe you need some time to rethink this.”
“I don’t need time. Pack your shit and go back to New York. There’s nothing left here for you.”
“You won’t be with her forever, Josh. It’s a fling. You’ll see.”
“Fuck off,” I say as I close out the call. I’m a nervous wreck, hoping and praying she doesn’t use last night as an excuse to call my girlfriend.
Each day that passes gets a little easier, but no better. I’m lying. I’ve cheated. I had unprotected sex with Liv while my girlfriend was out of the country. I’m a sick bastard who doesn’t deserve the love of a good, decent woman like Tamsyn, but I care too much to let her go, or to hurt her because of my stupid actions. Either way I’m screwed. I have to look at myself in the mirror and know what I did to her. I have to accept that I’ll always have a secret she can’t ever know. It breaks my heart.
I don’t hear from Liv again. Tamsyn comes home and I’m at the airport to pick her up. The moment I see her I have to fight back my emotions. My love for her is real. It’s crippling. I need this beautiful woman to love me back, but I know I carry a burden that could destroy everything we’ve worked to build. In one more week we’ll have been an official couple for two months. In that time she’s shown me more about relationships than I ever knew was possible.
She kisses me the way romance movies end. I’m holding her close, taking in the way she smells, and how her body fits perfectly in my arms. “God I missed you,” I say against her lips.
“I missed you too.”
She’s here in the flesh and I owe her something I promised. “I love you.”
Her smile is electrifying. Happiness radiates off of her. “A man of his word. I’m impressed.”
It’s a kick to the gut. I want to come clean, but now isn’t the time. I think about it and decide that waiting is the key. If we can manage to stay together for the rest of the year without conflict, I’ll come clean after the holidays. Time will have passed, and maybe she’ll be able to overlook it since we were just starting off.
Okay, I already know she won’t be able to let it go. I’m prolonging the inevitable for my own selfish needs, but also because I don’t want to be another guy who broke her heart. I want to be the one guy who did everything in his power to make things right.
Chapter 19
Tamsyn
It's three days before the annual Mitchell Healy Halloween party and I can hardly contain my excitement. Josh and I have decided to dress up as Batman and Catwoman. I've already seen him in his costume, and it's going to be difficult to keep my hands to myself when he's showing off his fit body in that tight outfit. As for me, I'm saving my special suit for the big night, because Josh is going to go bonkers when he sees me wearing it.
I'm also excited because I get to meet his extended family from Kentucky. It's great since they'll be hosting Thanksgiving, and even asked my parents to come along, even though they aren’t able.
Being with Josh has made every relationship before him seem like a waste of time. He's sweet and protective. He puts me first and often compliments me for the strangest things. I barely wear makeup anymore, because he likes me just the way I am. The past several months have been a whirlwind. I never expected to fall in love after four fantastic weeks, but it's true. I love him. We're in sync. It’s like we’re the same people. He gets me like no other ever could.
After helping his mother make some decorations for the shindig, I find Josh in his room. He's sitting on his bed watching television with one arm behind his head. As soon as he sees me his eyes light up. "There's my girl."
"Sorry it took so long. We couldn’t get the spiders to sink in the glow serum."
"I don't even want to know what that means."
"So your mom mentioned something to me while I was downstairs. She said Wes and Cammie are bringing Livvy with them. She wanted to make sure we'd be okay with it."
Josh sits up with worried eyes. "Why is she coming?"
"I don't know. I figured she's come before."
"I don't want her here."
"Why? If it's because of me, I'm over that. We have something good, Josh. She's your ex, who happens to be my old best friend. Now I have you to fill that category."
"I think it's best if we stayed away from her. I want you to have a good time."
"I will. Stop worrying about me. There's nothing she can say to change my mind about you. You're mine and I'm yours. She's not in this relationship."
"She's trouble. That's all I'm going to say. I plan on avoiding her at all costs."
"Are you okay?" I question. "You seem off, aside from the Livvy thing."
"Just thinking about the work that needs to get done for this party. It's a lot of running around."
"Anything I can do to relax you?" I drive my hand down his jeans until I'm touching hot flesh. He adjusts so that I’m able to work my magic. While I begin to stroke him, I speak softly. “Do you have any idea how much I appreciate you?”
“I’m not perfect, babe. Don’t put me on too high of a pedestal. I wouldn’t want you to get disappointed when I fuck up royally.”
“I think we could get through anything, because when it feels this right it has to be true.”
“I hope so. It would break me to lose what we have.” Josh is quiet when I further down and cup his balls. I massage them as he regains enough composure to continue. “I was thinking. You’re here all the time anyway. You should just bring your things and keep them in my closet. Shit, you could probably use one of my sister’s rooms, being that they don’t live here anymore.”
I stop moving my hand. “Joshua Healy, are you asking me to move in officially?”
He cups my face with his hands. “I am. I need you to know how important you are to me. I hate having to tell you goodnight when you’re not in this bed next to me. Will you think about it?”
I nod. I’m excited. I’ve never lived with a guy before. It would be a big step, but I’m not afraid. I spend almost every single night with him and make the commute to school and work, because it’s worth it to wake up and see him beside me. “I don’t have to think about it.”
He kisses me, taking his time to savor my lips. “I love you.” We open our eyes at the same time, but remain close. “I never thought those words would come so easy.”
“Maybe it’s because you weren’t with the right person.”
He clenches his jaw and
looks away. “You might be right.” I’m not sure, but I get the feeling he’s not comfortable with Livvy being at the Halloween party. Honestly, I don’t know how I’ll feel when I see her. We didn’t stop being friends because of some petty argument. She was seeing this guy that I’d liked for a while. He broke up with her because he became interested in me. Even though I made him wait months before I’d give him a chance, she never forgave me. Maybe I was wrong to date him, or there is some kind of high school code I wasn’t aware of. In all honesty, she never seemed that interested in him in the first place. I sort of felt like she was dating him to spite me; to prove she always got what she wanted. The guy later told me she was a shitty person. She stole my clothes when I was in gym class, so I had to wear a stinky high school gym uniform for the remainder of that day. Another time, I came out of school and had three flattened tires. She stole my class report when they were passed up to the teacher and got me a failing grade. She had people tell the guy I was seeing that I’d cheated and was using pills behind his back.
For a while it was ugly. The summer came. The relationship ended, but it was clear Livvy and I would never be friends again. She’s phony.
The fact that Josh loved her makes me frustrated. She’s not a good person. I hope he sees that now.
People are showing up that I recognize from pictures. I’m introduced to Christian, Ethan, Addison, and Cole first. Then my heart starts racing when the famous country singer in the family steps in the barn. Shalan Mitchell is carrying a child, while her handsome husband follows behind. He and Josh could pass as brothers. There’s an older man carrying a toddler, who I’m certain is Colt, Conner’s cousin.
Then the introductions commence. That older man comes right up to Josh and gives him a bear hug. “It’s good to see you.” He turns his attention to me and pulls me into his arms. “You must be Tamsyn. Welcome to the family, darlin’.” I snicker when he calls me that, and Josh knows why. It’s not until his uncle moves on to the next family when I mention it. “See, it fits when he says it.”
“Whatever, darlin’,” Josh jokes with a wink.
I meet his aunt Savanna, who they call Van. She hugs me too, and when it happens I get a whiff of vanilla. She smells like heaven, and her smile is contagious. She’s a stunning woman. They actually make a lovely couple.
I spend the next hour trying to get to know as many family members as I’m able to, up until it’s time to change into our costumes. I help get the food set up, alongside of Isabella and Christian. They talk my head off about my relationship with Josh, and if I think we have the potential to get married one day. I try not to think that far ahead, but when it’s mentioned I have to step back and consider what it would like to be a real part of this huge family. I’d love it. They make me feel wanted, like I belong.
Then it happens. I see Wes first, followed by his sister. I scan the room in search of Josh. He’s lifting a chair above his head to make room for another table, and she’s looking right at him. My blood starts to boil. I feel defensive, as if I need to make it known that he’s mine. Maybe it’s childish, but our past history tells me this is relevant and necessary.
I excuse myself from the women and make my way to Josh. He’s already sat the chair down and offers me his undivided attention. My arms go around his. He reciprocates and kisses me on the forehead. “You ready to get dressed in our costumes?”
“Yeah. I think that’s what everyone is planning on doing. Then we have pictures outside in about an hour.”
“I’m a little overwhelmed. Maybe we should have picked costumes that weren’t so revealing.” I have his undivided attention. Josh hasn’t seen the suit. He’s in for a big surprise.
“If it’s that sexy, I might not let you out of my room.”
“I might be okay with that.”
He slaps me on the butt as we leave the building, me totally forgetting about what’s her name with her looming eyes. I’ve got the guy. That’s all I care about.
Josh has been sitting on his bed patiently waiting for me to come out of the bathroom. The pleather bodysuit was a bitch to get on, but I’ve managed. I tuck my blonde hair into the kitten headpiece, and then make sure my mask is straight before grabbing my whip and opening the door to reveal myself.
Batman is smiling. He’s cupping his groin as I take the whip and snap it, while purring, “Ohhh, I’ve been a bad bad kitty.”
“Holy mother of Jesus, I’ve just died and gone to heaven.”
I crawl onto his lap and lick up the side of his face, keeping in character. “This pussy needs some attention.” I’m rocking back and forth over him, while he attempts to kiss me in his Batman attire. We both stop in order to laugh.
“I don’t want you going out there dressed like this.”
“Why?”
“Because, this should be for my eyes only. I’m not kidding.”
“How about I promise to wear it whenever you want.”
“I’ll hold you to it.”
“I know,” I whisper against his lips. “Can I use the whip?”
“Oh yeah. We’re going to use it.”
I cackle and kiss him again. “If you keep talking like that I might not want go anywhere.”
He picks me up and carries me toward the door. “Tonight, after this shit is over with, I’m bringing you back to this room and fucking the shit out of you. That’s a promise.”
“Meow,” I say against his ear. Josh slaps me hard on the ass as he continues carrying me down the stairs.
His parents are about to head out too. They’re dressed as Raggedy Ann and Andy. They’re adorable. When they both see what Josh and I are wearing their eyes increase in size. “Wow,” his mom announces. “You two look amazing.”
“Thanks,” I quickly reply. “Are you sure it isn’t too much?”
“Are you kidding? Josh has dressed up as a farmer for the past five years. This is fantastic.”
He raises his brows, but the mask just moves. “Let’s get this show on the road. The sooner I can take off this head thing, the better.”
We make the short walk to the barn hand in hand. His cape is blowing with the breeze, the whole time he’s complaining about whatever he can. “My nuts are squished. I’m going to be chafed. My back itches.”
“Will you quit bitching? It’s one party, and then you get a reward.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
We’re the center of attention when we enter the area. Not everyone is back, but the majority of the family stands and watches us coming into the decorated space. Cassie and Logan have decided to be Vikings, while Callie and Cob are a football player and cheerleader. Uncle Tyler and Aunt Miranda are dressed as jars of peanut butter and jelly, while his sons have taken their costumes to extremes. One is dressed as a large penis, and the other is the set of testicles, with hair might I add. Amber and Reese compliment them in matching playboy bunny outfits. All of the children are dressed up as different farm animals. There’s a cow, a pig, a chicken, a dog, and a cat so far. They’re super adorable. Cammie and Wes are in the far corner. He’s adjusting something on the back of her Minnie Mouse ensemble. He’s her soul mate, Mickey, while someone recognizable lingers behind them alone. I know who it is, and try not to pay attention to the French maid, barely there, shirt and top. It only takes her a second to locate Josh and toss him a smile, while looking at me only after she’s finished. He squeezes my hand. “I’m going to tell her to leave.”
“No.” I hold on so he can’t walk away. “It’s fine.”
“Are you sure, because she’s coming over here.”
I take a few deep breaths before noticing she’s standing in front of me. Her smile is fake. If I remember anything about her it’s her ability to act. “Oh my god, Tamsyn. You look amazing.” She wraps her arms around me in a hug, while I remain skeptical with my hands at my sides.
“Thanks. It’s been a long time.”
When Livvy backs off she turns her gaze on Josh again. “It has. I never expect
ed Josh would want to participate in something like this, since he hates Halloween.”
He’s never mentioned this to me. I look at him and then back to her, but he answers before I can. “There’s a lot that has changed since we were kids, Liv.”
“Yeah, so it seems.” She’s still staring at him as she continues. “I hear the two of you are pretty serious now. I’m surprised. I never pegged Josh as a one woman kind of guy. He always liked having a selection.”
I feel his hand coming up around my waist. “I think you need to walk away before I decided to embarrass the shit out of you.”
She laughs at him, and I can’t help but feel like she’s up to no good. “I can take a hint.” Livvy turns her face to me. “He’s not the guy you think he is. You’ll learn soon enough.”
I have to hold Josh back. In my honest opinion, I think he might have strangled her if I let it happen. I’m no longer worried about her interfering. He hates her. So do I.
Thankfully, Jax comes over, still dressed like an erect penis with eyeballs, and interrupts. Anyone seen my wife? I think she’s a little scared of my size.”
Livvy storm off into the crowd, leaving us alone. “Thanks,” I say to Jax.
“Yeah, no problem.”
Josh pulls me into a corner and starts kissing me in front of everyone. “We should head out.”
“I don’t want to go. We just got here. I want to eat and spend time with everyone.”
“I’m sorry. I know this is important to you. I just hate the way she acts. She needs to mind her business.”
“I’m okay, Josh. I may not like the way she looks at you, but I know who you’re with. There’s no way you’d ever be with her again.”
He nods, but doesn’t say anything in response. I assume he’s just pissed off and wants to be alone.
The costume contest is done by votes each year. It’s nothing professional, just a silly little trophy the winner hands down to the next person each year. Apparently the guys keep a tally of how many times they’ve won. After eating way too much food I feel bloated, but do my best to stand with my boyfriend while they tally the results.
Joshua Healy (Mitchell Healy Book 10) Page 13
