by K. M. Raya
Dante surprises me when he reaches out, grasping my hand. His fingers close over mine, dwarfing my hand by a lot. My eyes track the tattoos that wind up his arms, marveling at the black work. He’s awfully distracting. “Don’t feel too beat up about it. Alex has had plenty of time to work through it. He’s much better, believe it or not, than he was a few months ago. I think a part of him still loves her, but the other part of him hates himself for it.”
Frowning, there’s just something I don't understand. “I don’t get it, you say Alex loved her more… how does that work, exactly?”
His fingers squeeze mine before he twists our hands around, lacing his fingers through mine. The touch is so intimate, that it makes my belly tingle, but I don’t show it on the outside. Dante’s an incredibly attractive man. He’s got this suave Spanish thing going for him, and coupled with that rugged facial hair and the tatts, I need to watch my ovaries around him.
“Don’t get me wrong, Hell, we all loved Jessa. But for Alex it was just a little more serious. We knew she’d never be able to marry all of us, but we kind of figured if anyone was going to tie the knot, it’d be Alex and Jess. We’d all still be together, but to the rest of the world…”
“You had to hide it,” I finish for him. My heart feels heavy for him, for all of them. I can only imagine what others would say about that kind of a relationship. The gossip would have been scathing.
“We were cool with it,” he assures me. “A part of me will always love her, I guess. But that love changed. Now I just remember the good times we had, but the Jessa that hurt my best friend and ran away…. that wasn’t my Jess. That was someone else that none of us recognized anymore. The Jessa we knew died a long time ago.”
With my other hand, I cover our already interlocked ones. “I’m sorry you went through that, it must have been awful…”
Dante smiles, bringing his eyes up to mine. This close, I’m able to see all sorts of colors swirling around in his eyes that I hadn’t noticed before. The grey sets off the green, which makes the amber sparkle in contrast to his heavy black brows. Those eyes stare back at me with such a strange, perplexing emotion that I can’t immediately identify. “You know, something my Tia used to say… and it always stuck with me, is that no matter how much you love a person, you can never love them enough to make them love you back.”
I mull that over, wondering if there really are some words of wisdom hidden in there. Dante chuckles at my confused expression. “I thought it was a crock of shit too, until this thing with Jessa. Suddenly, though, it’s like Tia’s words just clicked and it’s all I could think of. No matter how much we loved Jessa, there’s no amount of it that can change what’s in a person’s heart. After everything we've been through… practically our whole lives, she chose strangers over the ones who always protected and cherished her. She almost killed Alex and then ran away without looking back. That’s not love at all. My Tia was right, and realizing that freed me from a lot of heartache over that woman.”
I stare at Dante, suddenly seeing the suave jokester in such a new light. Underneath all the quips and the devilish smiles, he really does have a heart and soul of gold. “The world would benefit from more men like you, Dante.” I smile at his pleased blush.
He shrugs it off with a dazzling grin. “But that would mean even more competition for me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I snort.
Suddenly, his smile grows more serious, and his eyes darken ever so slightly. “I think you know what that means, Helana.” He scoots forward to the edge of his chair, bringing his knees in between mine. I don’t move out of the way, because frankly, I don’t want to. “I’m starting to feel something for you. Something unexpected, but I’m really hoping it’s not just a one way thing…”
“Dante,” I sigh, moving to pull away, but he catches my hand and keeps it between his large palms.
“Don’t make excuses, please. If you feel anything for me at all, please don’t lie to me.”
Shaking my head, I know I have to tell the truth. It wouldn’t be fair to lie to him. Not after all he’s been put through. “I do feel something for you. I really do, and trust me I’ve been struggling with it for a while, but that’s the problem…”
“What problem? What’s so wrong with that?” There's a hopeful gleam in his eyes.
“The problem is that I slept with your friend.” There, it’s out.There’s no taking the words back. He’ll probably hate me now. He’ll want nothing to do with me anymore.There’s nothing worse you can do to a man that’s declaring his feelings for you, than to tell him about you and another man.
To my utter shock, Dante just smiles softly. “That’s what you’re worried about?” He grips my hand tighter. “I already know about you and Wyatt.”
Eyes widening, I rip my hand from his grip now. “How did you find out?”
He blinks at me. “He’s my best friend. We tell eachother everything. Always have, always will. I know you slept with him. I know it was good, too, he didn’t skimp on the details.” He winks.
Frowning, I grumble under my breath, “I’m gonna kill him.”
Dante laughs, and the silky feel of his voice calms my irritation a bit. “I’m not mad, seriously. If anything, I’m relieved.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I don’t expect you to get it right now, but it’s how we’ve always operated. We’ve shared women before, hence, the whole Jessa thing. It’s just something we’ve been into since highschool. The three of us are pretty much a unit... all for one and all that.”
Something horrifying occurs to me, slamming into my brain like a wrecking ball. “Hold up a second, “ I stammer, trying to backtrack and make some sense of what I’m hearing. “Are you trying to tell me that if I get with one of you, it means I’m with all of you?”
His smile is wide and mischievous and makes my insides ache. “You’re good at this guessing thing.”
“Dante, I don’t think you understand. Alex hates my guts. He’s more likely to throw me to a horde than he is to kiss me again…” My eyes flash to him guiltily. I hadn’t meant to say that at all. But once again, it’s out now.
He looks triumphant. “I fucking knew it! I knew that’s what was going on in the closet. You guys looked mighty cozy in there.” His eyes sparkle with satisfaction. What in the world is going on right now?
“Shut up, “I push his shoulder softly. “Yeah, we kissed, but it was a moment of crisis, and I cannot be held responsible for my actions.”
“Yeah, keep telling yourself that.”
We stare at each other quietly, me searching for a way out and him searching for a way in. But I think I'm lying to myself if I pretend I don’t want this. I’m tired of being alone. Missy and Nina have each other, and while I have them too, it’s not the same.
Standing up, I pretend to brush the dust off my pants awkwardly, while Dante watches with a small, knowing smile on his lips. “I’m going to go check on Nina.”
I turn to walk back to the center of the store, but a tug on my arm stops me in my tracks. I’m whirled around before I can blink as Dante pulls my body flush with his. I don’t even try to fight it. We’re pretty secluded back here, so I know the chances of someone stumbling in on us are slim, especially with the way Alex stalked off.
“I already checked on Nina. She’s fine.” He runs his hands up my arms slowly. They feel so warm and big. They feel amazing. “We need to talk about this.”
“What’s there to talk about?”
“Everything, Helana. You know how I feel about you. I think I’ve made that pretty fucking clear at this point. But am I chasing you for nothing? Am I wasting my time?”
Looking into his multicolored eyes, I see nothing but longing and sincerity. I track his features, memorizing them because he’s just that beautiful. In a world filled with nothing but rot and decay, looking at someone like Dante is like a balm. Reaching up, I cup the sides of his face with my palms, feeling the scratch of his
facial hair and loving it. Dante holds his breath as I do this, closing his eyes. I see his nostrils flare, and I instinctively know he’s holding back for my sake.
I need to be bold. I need to take my own happiness and fuck what anyone else thinks about it. “Take me somewhere,” I whisper, and his eyes fly open.
He doesn’t respond in words, but he wastes no time grabbing my hand and pulling me away. I have no idea where he’s taking me, but I go without regret. I don’t know if I’m going to die today, or tomorrow or the next week, but I never want to regret wasting the time I have left on this beaten earth. Right now he’s all I see.
Towards the back of the store, he leads me to a pair of double doors, and we burst right through them. There’s a long darkened hallway with doors off to the right and the left. I’m assuming we’re in some sort of HR department, or the back office for managerial staff. It’s sort of eerie back here. It looks like a hospital corridor, so sterile and dim. But with Dante leading me, I feel a strange sense of comfort and safety.
I’m also assuming that since he’s walking so surely, that he’s already made sure this area was cleared. We've been here for days now, but you can never be too careful. Zoms just love wedging themselves into the most unlikely of places and taking you by surprise. We come to a closed door at the end of the hall that looks just like every other door we passed. Dante pushes it open and ushers me inside.
There’s barely any light inside, but Dante shuts the door behind us before rushing over to a desk that sits in the corner of the room. It looks like this used to be a manager’s office. He rifles through the drawers before pulling two candles out of one. He walks to a shelf and lights the candles before setting them on it, filling the tiny room with ambient orange flickers. It even starts to smell a little like vanilla in here.
“Well aren’t you the romantic,” I singsong. I’m still grinning towards the candles, but Dante doesn't respond.
Bringing my gaze back to him, I expect to see a suave grin, or a joke on the tip of his tongue, but instead he looks… hungry. For me. His eyes are dark and smokey. And they trail from my toes to my head. His hands are balled at his sides, and stuck in this tiny room, he looks like a giant. I can’t help but eat up the sight of him, staring me down like I’m the last meal he’ll ever have.
“Tell me if you need me to stop, because I’ve been waiting for this since we met.”
Shaking my head, my mouth starts to water. “Please, for the love of Christ, don’t stop.” I sound like a horned up teenager, but I guess that’s just how these men make me feel. Wyatt’s words did the same thing to my insides. He got me all jumbled up. Shit, so did Alex’s kisses. These men are lethal, in more ways than one.
He stalks closer, but while he does, he reaches up and behind him in that way that men do to infuriate and confuse women. He rips his shirt off, tossing it on the floor, leaving me a drooling mess as I rake my eyes over his chiseled chest and abdomen. “Holy shit,” I breathe. He’s utterly covered in tattoos. From wrist to shoulder, from waistband to his neck. Covered. And he looks divine.
“Doctors aren’t supposed to look like this…” I find myself blabbering.
He smirks. “It’s a good thing I’m just a medic, then.”
I can’t even formulate a response, because his chest is pressed up against mine now, and all around me is the delicious scent of his golden brown skin that shines in the flickering candle light. His fingers go to unbutton my shirt, flicking them one at a time. I don’t have much on today but a pair of ripped pants and my flannel shirt since we weren't planning on leaving the building. As the buttons come undone, Dante watches only my face. “Tell me you want the same thing I do,” he pleads.
It’s not even something I have to think about. “Is that a serious question?”
“I need a serious answer.”
My shirt is undone now, exposing my bra beneath. It’s white and lacy, and it makes his eyes go wide as he sucks in his bottom lip. Something I secretly take joy in, is finding and wearing sexy underthings beneath all my Kevlar and cargo clothing. For some reason it gives me a sick amount of joy, and makes me feel sexy, even when there’s no one around to appreciate it.
Heat flares in my abdomen when he flicks the button of my pants open. “Dante, you’re either going to fuck me, or I’m going to explode. It’s your choice, but make it fast.”
A low laugh slips past his full lips, but in a blink, he’s lifting me from the ground, spinning us around until my ass hits the top of the desk, pushing papers and office supplies to the floor. His hands slide inside my undone shirt, reaching around the back and flicking open my bra clasp, letting the lacy garment fall off. I’m exposed to both him and the cold air, and it makes me extra sensitive.
His fingers sift through my hair, ripping the band out and letting my silvery strands fall down my back in messy waves. In the back of my mind, I'm thanking the heavens for the showers we discovered, otherwise this experience might have been a whole lot different. His lips connect with my neck, and I bend my head to the side, giving him access. His teeth nip at me as he goes, and the scratch of his beard makes my legs shake.
Finally, I can’t take it anymore. Reaching out, I quickly unbutton his pants, unzipping the zipper too because I'm an impatient woman. If I'm being completely honest with myself, I’ve wanted to rip this man’s clothes off from the moment I saw him. I can’t help it.
He moves backwards, pulling my pants down my legs as I kick off my boots. I’m bare to him now, and his eyes rove over my body greedily. His chest rumbles. “You’re even more exquisite than I imagined…”
“How often did you use that imagination?” I ask cheekily.
Dante smiles, skimming his hands up my inner thighs. His fingers reach my center, teasing me as I hold my breath, waiting for him to do or say anything to relieve this tension. He looks directly into my eyes as his fingers move in further. “Every night since I met you, you’ve been the star of every single one of my fantasies. It’s fucking agony having you sleep next to me without touching your skin…”
Those words make me shiver from head to toe. My body relaxes and his fingers dip inside me. Letting my head fall back, I let a moan leave my lips, and his mouth comes back to my throat. Expert fingers work inside of me, slow and steady, but pressure builds there. I need more of him. Right now.
My hips start to swivel, telling him he needs to go faster, and I can feel his smirk against my neck as he kisses me. His fingers leave my center, and I almost object, but he only reaches down between us and frees himself from the waistband of his pants. My eyes widen, and my mouth waters. I’m ready for this. I’m ready for anything he has to give me.
His hands hook around my ass, tugging me close in one swift movement. I angle myself just right, and he slides in deep, both of us groaning in unison. He’s about to thrust, but the both of us are suddenly jarred by the sound of the door clicking open. My body locks up, but I don’t pull away from Dante. He’s staring at the door with a small smirk, so I know whatever it is, I’m not in danger. That’s something I haven’t been able to feel in a very long time. Complete and utter safety.
The door clicks shut again, but instead of silence, I hear heavy boots walking across the room. My body tingles with awareness. Finally, a tall form steps into view around the side of the desk, and I look up to find Wyatt’s dark navy eyes roving over my body as if he’s just discovered some long lost treasure. I should feel embarrassed right now, with these two gorgeous men eyeing me like a piece of meat, but my body almost wants to preen.
“Don’t let me stop you,” Wyatt whispers, reaching out and dragging one of the desk chairs over towards the wall. He never takes his eyes off us.
Looking at Dante, I just raise an eyebrow, and he smiles with all his pearly white teeth. “If it’s not cool with you, we can stop…”
“Don’t you dare,” I interrupt. “I want this.”
Relief shines in his eyes as he starts to thrust. He fills me completely, making me ting
le from the inside out. His heavy hands hold me in place and my legs automatically lock around his waist. I hear a shift to the side of me, and looking over, I see Wyatt studying the two of us with a concentration I’ve ever seen before. Even in the candle light, I can tell his pupils are blown out.
Dante leans in, placing a kiss next to my right ear. “He likes to watch,” he whispers.
Shivering, I glance back at Wyatt, who takes his hand and runs it over his beard, eyes never leaving the spot where Dante and I are connected. For some reason, it thrills me, knowing he’s taking pleasure out of just watching my body. It makes me feel a little bit powerful. Dante picks up the pace, getting a little rougher now. It takes everything in me not to scream as we start to shake the desk.
I hear a deep moan from the beautiful man watching us. He likes what he’s seeing, and it only spurs me on. Dante pounds into me, and I feel like fireworks are going off in front of my eyes. Suddenly, my back flattens against the desk, and my legs unlock from around his waist, knees coming up high on the sides as Dante grips my hips tight. He never stops his assault. The desk bangs against the wall, and I’m moaning aloud at this point, unable to hold it in. My shoulders press hard into the desk, and my eyes fly open. Instead of sitting by the wall, watching us, Wyatt stands behind me on the other side of the desk, holding me down by the shoulders while Dante keeps going.
I don't know why this makes me lose it, but being restrained by him has my world exploding. Incoherent curse words slip past my lips as Dante’s thrusts become erratic. He’s getting close too, I can feel the change in him. His eyes are stuck on mine, and passion and fire burn there, all that pent up angst, need and fury roaring back at me. We ignite each other, and Wyatt’s here to watch us burn.
With another two deep thrusts, Dante loses it, eyes rolling back in his head as he slows, muscles and fingers flexing against my skin. I can feel him pulse inside of me, and my heart races, feeling like it’s about to burst from my ribcage. The weight on my shoulders eases, but instead of letting go, Wyatt’s hands wander. They skim over my neck, making their way down to my exposed breasts. He kneads my flesh, making me moan for a different reason.
