“She wants to adopt a child who’s going to be placed in foster care. I don’t know if your brother-in-law deals with that sort of thing, but she would surely appreciate his help.”
“Jett deals with all sorts of family law. If you’d like, I’ll speak to him about your friend.”
“Thanks, Rafe. It would mean a lot to me. Marcella is my best friend—practically my only friend.”
“And what am I?” he asked in a low, husky voice. “Aren’t I a friend?”
The pit of her stomach fluttered wildly. Just hearing his low, raspy voice and imagining the sensation of his body pressed to hers was enough to muddle her thinking.
“A friend. And more.”
“That’s what I wanted to hear,” he murmured. “Why don’t you drive out here to the ranch tonight?”
She wanted to say yes so badly that she very nearly bit her tongue to keep the word inside. “I could. But not to have sex in your father’s house. You know how I feel about that.”
He growled with disappointment. “We wouldn’t have to announce it.”
Frustrated, she raked her fingers through her hair. “So you think sneaking around would make it more acceptable to me?”
“No. I can hear in your voice that it wouldn’t.” He released a heavy breath. “I have to be up about four in the morning. We discovered a few calves over on the north slope near Eagle’s Ridge that we missed during roundup. We’ll have to leave early to wind up the job tomorrow. Otherwise, I’d drive into town to see you.”
Was it just heated sex that he wanted or did he actually need her company? These past few days, she’d caught herself wondering more and more what she really meant to Rafe and why it should even matter to her.
“Well, if you get your work wrapped up, why don’t you come here tomorrow night? My shift ends early so I’ll cook supper for you,” she offered.
“Hmm. I’ll be there. If you can cook as good as you do—other things—then I know it will be delicious.”
His provocative suggestion brought a sting of heat to her cheeks and a flash of erotic images dancing through her mind. Yet the images were quickly replaced by Marcella’s tearful eyes.
If you were being totally honest with yourself, Lilly, you’d admit that you’d like to have a child.
Her friend had touched a spot in her heart that Lilly never wanted to examine or acknowledge. But sooner or later, she was going to be forced to and she could feel that time creeping closer and closer.
Swallowing back a wistful sigh, she said, “Goodbye, Rafe. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
“You’re hanging up already?” he asked with surprise.
“I’m tired. I’m going to turn in early tonight.”
There was a long, awkward pause. “Is anything wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong,” she said. Other than the unexplainable urge to cry kept her fighting back a wall of tears. Oh, dear heaven, what was wrong with her? For the first time in years she was behaving like a real woman. She had a man in her life. A man that was filling her days and nights with passion. It would only create problems to try and reach for more. But she wanted more. Far more than Rafe was willing to give.
“All right. I’ll see you tomorrow night, then,” he said and ended the connection.
After putting her phone aside, Lilly wearily leaned her head back against the couch and let her gaze drift over the living room. Even though the space was small and comfortable, it held no comparison to any of the rooms in the Silver Horn ranch house. If she followed Rafe’s wishes, she could be living there in luxury. At least until his desire for her waned and he moved on to the next woman. But luxury didn’t interest her. And neither did being Rafe’s mistress. She might owe him for waking her from a long, lonely sleep. But now she realized she wanted and deserved more from him.
* * *
Something was wrong with Lilly. Although Rafe couldn’t put his finger on it, he could feel it in his bones. Maybe she was already growing tired of him. Or maybe she was unhappy because so much of his time was taken up with the ranch. But how could she ask more of him? Her own job required her to work plenty of overtime and with those long hours, it was emotionally taxing. She, more than anyone, ought to understand how important his job was to him.
You’re borrowing trouble, Rafe. Lilly is cooking dinner for you tonight. The woman wouldn’t be going to that much trouble if she was dissatisfied with you.
Rafe was trying to hang on to that positive thought when a slight knock sounded on his bedroom door, and Clancy walked into the room.
“Am I interrupting?” his older brother asked.
Continuing to stuff his shirttail into his jeans, Rafe shook his head. “No. I’m getting ready to go to town. What’s up?”
“Town? You mean you’re going like that?”
He glanced down at his faded jeans, gray chambray shirt, and scuffed cowboy boots. “What’s wrong with jeans? Lilly would think I was crazy if I showed up in something dressy.”
Rafe looked up to see Clancy staring at him with comical amazement. “To the cattlemen’s ball? It’s a black-tie affair, Rafe. Don’t you remember?”
“Remember it’s black tie? Hell, I didn’t even know about the ball. But it doesn’t matter. I’m going to Lilly’s tonight.”
His brother hardly looked pleased. “Rafe, this is an important evening for the local ranchers around here. Dad is expecting all of us to attend. Evan is even going.”
“Good. Then the Calhoun family will be well represented without me being there.”
Rolling his eyes, Clancy walked over to the dresser and used the mirror to straighten the knot in his tie. “Rafe, you are the foreman of the Horn! You, out of all of us Calhouns, should be there tonight.”
“Then someone should’ve had the decency to warn me about this affair before tonight.”
“You’re hardly ever around. Dad said he sent you a text yesterday to remind you.”
Rafe wiped a hand over his freshly shaven face. “How the hell am I supposed to receive a text when I’m fifteen miles deep into the mountains—rounding up Horn cattle? You know, someone has to do some actual work around here once in a while. For the past two months I’ve spent fifteen hours in the saddle for three-fourths of that time. I hardly see spending an evening for myself as a sin!”
Turning away from the mirror, Clancy stood with his hands on his hips, staring with frustration at Rafe. “So you’re not going to change clothes and go with us?”
Crossing over to the bed, Rafe picked up his belt and began to thread it through the loops on his jeans. “I wouldn’t trade a date with Lilly for any ball.”
“So you’re getting serious about the woman?”
Glancing up, Rafe sneered at his brother. “Serious? Why does that word always have to come up when a woman is the subject of the conversation? What does it mean, anyway? Do I want to marry her? Well, if that’s what you’re asking, then no. I’m not going to marry her. I’m not ever going to marry any woman! Is that plain enough for you?”
“You’re sickening. You really are,” Clancy muttered then quickly started toward the door. “I’ll explain to Dad that you have other responsibilities tonight. I’m sure he’ll understand.”
“Sure, Clancy. Give me that indignant act—I don’t care. ’Cause I sure as hell don’t see you taking a wife or even trying to find one. So get off my back about Lilly!”
Clancy didn’t make any sort of reply. Instead, he quietly shut the door behind him.
Once his brother was out of sight, Rafe grabbed up his hat, crammed it on his head and started toward the door, but halfway there he caught himself and slowly returned to the bed. Sinking onto the edge of the mattress, he wiped a hand over his face and drew in a long, calming breath.
First Finn and now Clancy, he thought ruefully. He’d just b
ehaved like a complete jerk. Sure, he’d always had a short fuse, but it wasn’t like him to fly off the handle like this. So what was gnawing at him?
His job had always required long, tiring hours in the saddle with plenty of stress and worry to go along with them. But in spite of that he loved it and the ranch. And having a woman like Lilly in his life would make any man a happy guy. Besides giving him red-hot sex, she also understood him and was instinctively attuned to his thoughts and dreams and wishes. He had an incredible woman. Or did he? What did have really mean? For the present? For a few more weeks or months?
A few nights ago when he’d taken Lilly to the Sierra Chateau for dinner and dancing, a young man she was acquainted with had stopped by their table and invited her to dance. And even though she’d politely declined, the incident had opened Rafe’s eyes. Suddenly, he was seeing that Lilly wasn’t his wife. She didn’t belong solely to him. She had a right to go out with another man. She even had a right to feed him sandwiches in bed and then make red-hot love to him. The same as she’d done to Rafe. The whole idea revolted him. But the idea of marriage was just as troubling.
He wasn’t going to think about what tomorrow was going to bring, he told himself as he rose to his feet and snatched his wallet from the dresser top. He had more blessings than he could count. And tonight he was going to do his best to remember that.
A half hour later, when Lilly opened the door and welcomed Rafe into the house, he forgot all about the testy exchange with Clancy and the fact that he was missing the cattleman’s ball, an event he’d attended every year since he was eighteen years old.
“Something smells delicious,” he said as he pulled off his hat and placed it on a wall table near the door. “I’m not sure if it’s you or the dinner.”
Smiling impishly, she stepped forward and slipped her arms around his waist. “I hope it’s the dinner. Cooking a meal is much harder than dabbing on perfume.”
Bending his head, he kissed her lips and a sweet rush of familiarity struck him hard, reminding him that she was the only woman he’d ever wanted this much for this long.
“You shouldn’t have gone to so much trouble. We could’ve had pizza or something delivered.”
“I invited you to dinner, remember? I wanted to prepare you a meal. It probably won’t be up to Greta’s standards, but I promise it will be edible.” She eased out of his arms and motioned for him to follow her to the kitchen. “Come sit while I finish everything. Would you like a drink? The only thing I have with alcohol in it is beer. Or I have ginger ale or fruit punch.”
“I’m fine. I’ll just wait until we eat.”
As he followed her out of the living room, Rafe could hardly ignore the sway of her hips beneath the floral skirt she was wearing and the way her golden-blond hair tumbled around her shoulders. If he had it his way, he’d grab her up right now and carry her to the bedroom. But it was obvious that she’d gone to a lot of trouble to prepare him this meal. He wasn’t about to ruin it for any reason.
Inside the kitchen, she’d already set the table with large, bottle-green plates, heavy silverware and an array of condiments. Instead of taking a seat there, he followed her over to the cabinet counter and sidled as close to her as he could without hindering her movement.
“As soon as I finish this salad everything will be ready,” she told him as she picked up a wedge of lettuce and began tearing it into a wooden bowl. “Are you hungry?”
“Very. We ate sandwiches out on the trail about eleven this morning. I’ve not eaten since.”
“And did you get all the calves rounded up safely?”
It thrilled him that she paid attention to his work and remembered what he was doing for the day. Was that what having a wife meant? he wondered. Having a woman around who actually cared about his life?
I’m not ever going to marry any woman! Is that plain enough for you?
The words he’d barked at Clancy continued to roll around in his head and reminded him that Lilly didn’t have to be his wife in order for her to care about his work or what went on in his life. She already cared. That was enough for him. But would she care years from now? Or would she move on to a man who would give her a home and babies?
Trying to push aside his battling thoughts, he said, “It took longer than I’d planned, and one of the men took a tumble when his horse ran him under a tree limb. Thankfully, he wasn’t hurt. And all the calves are branded and vaccinated now.”
She dumped pieces of tomato and cucumber over the lettuce then began to toss the simple salad with a large fork and spoon. “I thought about you riding in the mountains. You’re going to have to show me more of the ranch soon. Whenever we can work around our schedules. If I ever expect to keep up with you, I need to get my riding legs in shape.”
He chuckled lowly. “As far as I can see your legs are in perfect shape.”
She pulled a playful face at him. “There are two glasses in the freezer already filled with ice. Would you mind putting them on the table while I get the food?”
“I can do that.” As he fetched the glasses, he said, “I did happen to come upon a beautiful spot today over by Eagle’s Ridge that I’d like to share with you.”
“Oh, tell me about it.”
“No way. I want it to be a surprise.”
She carried a large casserole dish over to the table and placed it on a hot pad. “Then I’ll have to trust you when you say it’s beautiful.”
Snaring an arm around her waist, he pulled her close enough to press a light kiss on her lips. “Not nearly as beautiful as you, Lilly. You’re tempting me something awful, you know it?”
Laughing, she pushed him lightly into the seat at the end of the oval table. “You’ll survive.”
He stayed put while she placed the rest of the food on the table and filled their glasses with water. When she finally took the seat angled to the right of him, he reached over and clasped her hand in his. “Thank you, Lilly, for going to all this trouble for me. I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed you these past few days.”
Her smile was tender and the sight of it smoothed all the rough edges he’d been feeling since Clancy had come to his room.
She said lowly, “And I’ve missed you, too, Rafe.”
He rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand. “The cattlemen’s ball is going on tonight. Clancy was put out with me because I didn’t go. It’s the first one I’ve missed since I was eighteen.”
“Oh, Rafe, I hope I wasn’t the reason,” she exclaimed. “We could’ve done this another night.”
“I’d already made this date with you. And I wasn’t going to break it for anything. But if someone had reminded me that the ball was coming up, I would’ve invited you to go with me. It’s a fancy bash. Everyone gets dressed up and steaks are served for dinner. There’ll be live music and lots of dancing. You might have enjoyed it.”
She began to laugh and he frowned with confusion.
“What’s funny about that?”
She gestured toward the casserole dish. “You’re going to be disappointed. You could have enjoyed a juicy steak. Instead, you’re getting chicken and rice.
He slanted her a sly look. “I’ll take a plate of chicken and an evening with you over anything.”
“I’ll remind you of that when we start to wash the dishes,” she teased.
After that they began to eat, and for the next half hour Rafe learned exactly how good Lilly could cook. By the time he finished a piece of the German chocolate cake she’d made for dessert, he was completely stuffed.
“More cake or coffee?” she asked as she pushed aside her plate.
“Everything was delicious, Lilly. But all I want now is you.”
“Rafe, you—I want to—”
Before she could say more he wrapped a hand around her wrist and tugged her out of her chair an
d onto his lap.
With her head cradled in the crook of his arm, he gazed down at her. “Go to bed with me. Right?”
A strange, wistful look came into her eyes and for a moment he thought she was going to wriggle off his lap and refuse. But then she suddenly groaned and wrapped her arms around his neck.
Rafe didn’t waste time pondering her hesitation. He carried her straight to the bedroom and by the time he’d peeled away her clothing, her mouth was clinging hotly to his, her hands clutching him close. And the troubled shadows he saw in her eyes back in the kitchen were completely forgotten.
Chapter Ten
More than an hour later, Lilly lay cuddled in the curve of Rafe’s warm body. His cheek was pressed against the top of her head, while his fingers were meandering from her hair to the bare slope of her arm.
Being next to him in the quiet of the bedroom, her body replete from his lovemaking, she should’ve been feeling happy and perfect. Instead, she could only wonder how soon it would be before everything between them ended.
“You’ve been quiet this evening, Lilly. Tell me what’s wrong.”
The tenderness in his voice caused her heart to wince, and for a moment she hesitated to answer. Maybe it would be best if she shoved all her desires and wants aside? Maybe having him like this for a brief time was better than to risk losing him completely? But she had to think about her future now, because Rafe surely wasn’t.
Her throat was suddenly aching from the lump that had gathered there, making her voice hoarse when she finally said, “I don’t think you really want me to tell you.”
Lifting his head, he looked down at her. “If something is on your mind, Lilly, I want to hear it. I don’t want things to be hidden between us.”
She turned in his arms and brought her hand up to his cheek. “Do you have any idea how much I care for you, Rafe? Really?”
He went still and Lilly could feel his body tightening, bracing as though he was dreading what was coming next.
He said in a guarded tone, “I think you like me. And I think you want me. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here in your bed.”
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