Fianna Kelly Versus the Jeebees: A Collection of Steampunk Stories

by Harry Dodgson

  Gerald replied, "It will take an hour to transfer your automaton and finish loading provisions."

  "What kind of provisions?" I asked.

  "We will have a well-stocked icebox when we leave. More than enough to see us through the trip there and back... twice."

  I stood and waited, trying not to shuffle my feet like I did when I was a young girl outside church. I would have loved to go into the city and browse the shoppes. I thought about the last time I was here and all the fun I had in the pubs too. I watched the cargo being moved between ships to pass the time instead.

  "I wonder if I can teach something smaller and lighter to do what Bradan does. 'Tis a lot of work to get him settled properly on airships."

  "What were you thinking of?" asked Gerald.

  "A puppy would be nice. I've been told that Saint Bernards are very intelligent."

  We watched the stevedores secure Bradan in the centre of the cargo area on my airship just like he had been in the other airship.

  Ethan announced, "We are ready to embark when you are, Miss."

  I replied, "Please... Before we go, could you tell me where everything is lest I become hopelessly lost inside of her?"

  "I can do that. Let's start at the front. At the bottom is the control pod. That is where myself and the other aviator will fly your airship from."

  "Does it take both of you to fly it?"

  "This ship only needs one, but we take turns to keep alert."

  "Please continue. I will try not to interrupt."

  "Feel free to ask questions as you wish. Behind the control pod is the sitting room. The forward door opens into it. The stairs to the upper level are also there."

  "My airship has an upper level?"

  "Yes, it does. Above the control pod is your stateroom. It has the best view on the ship with those large windows allowing you to see where we are going and to each side. Directly behind your suite are the rooms for the crew and passengers as well as the galley. Our rooms are not as nice as yours, of course, but are still quite spacious compared to the cabins in commercial airships."

  "I didn't see any cabins on the ride here. We were in the sitting area the entire time."

  Gerald responded, "The ship we were on was built to hold as many people as possible for daytime trips and lacks the amenities for long distances."

  I asked him, "Oh. How far as we travelling?"

  He replied, "The trip across the North Sea is actually shorter than the one you just took."

  Ethan resumed his description. "Amidships is where the engine room is. It spans both floors for ease of servicing. Behind that, also on both decks, is the cargo area. That is where your automaton is now. You can reach it via the central hallway on the upper deck; just a short walk from your suite to its. The aft section contains our fuel, water, and hydrogen tanks. They are placed far from the occupied sections in case something should go amiss."

  I asked, "Shall we go aboard, gentlemen? I am anxious to see inside my airship."

  Ethan went first and pushed the door inwards to allow me to enter before him. The sitting room was nothing to talk about. Just two square tables with open frame chairs around them; all secured to the floor. There were benches secured near the walls so one could sit and see out the windows. To the front of the airship were two nicer looking chairs in front of consoles for the pilots. Another man, who they introduced as Asher, sat in one. It was interesting that the pilots had windows down near their feet so they could see what was beneath the ship.

  At the other end was a metal spiral staircase leading to the upper deck. I ran up them. I was stunned when I reached the top of the steps. There was no ceiling above the hallway and I could see all the way to the top of the balloon. The lights were dim here and it took a minute for my eyes to adjust. Above me were dozens of huge bags held in netting to the frame of the balloon. To my left, the hallway went toward the rear of the ship. I went to my right.

  Unlike below, where the furnishings were merely functional, everything up here was much nicer. I opened the doors to the cabins as I went forward to see how they looked inside. They all had a writing desk fitted to one wall, a bed fitted to the other, and a chair. Each room had a small window too. The galley was the size of two rooms and everything was in cupboards with toggles to hold them shut. Next to the galley was a single comfort room with a sink, commode, and small tub. It even had a sign on it that could be changed to show it was in use.

  At the end of the hall was my stateroom. The door was locked, but the key was hanging on a lanyard next to it. I unlocked the door and put the key around my neck like a necklace. As I expected I had my own comfort room plus a small sitting area. Everything in here was wonderful. The lamps were in shiny brass fixtures and it even had paintings on the walls. The chairs were wide and had soft cushions on the bottoms and backs. In the centre was a round table about four feet around made of dark woods and polished so it shined.

  Double doors opened into my sleeping area. The doors slid to each side so I could enjoy the full room. The last person here had left the curtains open and the view was breath-taking. The sleeping area was as big as the other half of my suite. It had a large bed with soft pillows and nice sheets. I just didn't care about that now. All I wanted to do was stay here and look out my windows... No-one was here to say I couldn't. It was so very wonderful!

  I heard the engines start and saw the ground crew cast off the mooring lines. I watched in fascination as we slowly rose straight up into the sky; quite unlike how we climbed above the clouds this morning. It was as if the city was all mine, and the higher we rose, the more of it was mine. We made a slow turn, leaving the sunset behind us and headed Northeast. No more having to go along dirty roads that went in the general direction that I wanted to go. From now on, I would go in the direction that I wanted.

  I watched out my window as we passed over the city. The sun went below the horizon somewhere behind us so I could only tell the buildings by their outlines and lights. It was like watching stars which had fallen to the ground, only they were yellow and came in different sizes and shapes. We left England behind and the only lights I could see were the stars and planets ahead of us.

  When I paid attention, I could hear the engine speed up and slow down. I asked Gerald and he said it was new and the pilots did that to condition it properly, whatever that means. He said when I was ready for bed, they would run the engine and the fans at their quietest speed so I could sleep. We were expected to arrive at our destination just after sunup even going slowly.

  I smiled at that thought. I will sleep while travelling and awake over another country. I could not imagine a nicer way to see the world. I looked about and noticed some racks on one wall where I could secure my rifles and hang my gun belt. This airship was not just built for travelling, but like a house that flew. I could imagine living inside it and seeing the world without leaving my home behind.

  • April 29

  It was too quiet when I awoke. I went down to the sitting room where all three men were seated around a table.

  I said, "'Tis terribly quiet. What's wrong?"

  Asher said, "The short answer is that the steam engine is broken."

  "Can we fix it?"

  Ethan replied, "No. We tried already."

  "Anything else I should know about?"

  Gerald said, "We are losing altitude."

  "That's wonderful. What do we do?"

  He answered, "We drift in the wind until we crash into the North Sea."

  "I don't like that. What else can we do?"

  He suggested, "Pray for the wind to shift so we crash on land."

  "That's not much better."

  He continued, "Pray that another airship comes along, we transfer to it, and watch this one crash from safety."

  "Do you have any ideas that do not involve my beautiful airship crashing?"

  Gerald stated, "No."

  "Now I see why my father objects to airships. At least on a locomotive, once the engine breaks, we
walk away."

  Asher asked, "Can you swim?"

  "I can, but Bradan will sink to the bottom of the sea... How long do we have until we hit water?"

  He said, "Our best guess is that we'll be under water before sundown."

  "I'll be back in the cargo area with Bradan. You'll tell me when there's anything I need to know, yes?"

  It was so quiet. I realised that when you are drifting with the wind, you don't even hear that. All I heard were the tiny noises that Bradan makes when he's doing nothing. I spent some time just talking to him. He just stood there and watched me. I was expecting some kind of reaction when I told him we might crash in the sea, but nothing came. I didn't look at the time so I had no idea how long I was there before Gerald said they needed me in the sitting room.

  I looked out the window as indicated and asked, "Is that an airship off to our right?"

  Gerald said, "Yes, but it's flying a black pirate flag."

  "I could care less about who or what they are. Do we have any way to contact them?"

  Asher answered, "We have an Aldis lamp that we use to signal the ground crews."

  "I suggest you signal them; let them know we are a ship in distress."

  "So you want me to tell a pirate ship that we are defenceless?"

  "No, I want you to invite them to lunch before we crash. To be sure, let them know we can't go anywhere but down. I'm going up to the galley and see what we have that will make a good meal for a crew of pirates."

  As Gerald said, we had a plethora of fruits, meats, and vegetables. I found a large pot stowed in a cupboard and began making stew. I guessed that double what my family usually ate for supper will be enough to feed a pirate crew. I put the fire on very low and went back to the sitting room.

  Our ship passed through a shadow. The other ship was gigantic in comparison to ours. It was like two balloons tied tightly together at each end with a gondola placed underneath in the middle of them. They had four large fans; one mounted near each corner of their gondola.

  "Ahoy! Prepare to be boarded!" shouted someone to the left, I mean port, of our ship.

  I looked at the men and they just shrugged their shoulders. I shouted back, "Could you be more specific?"

  The reply was, "You need to open the door and get out of the way."

  It was a curious chain of events that happened next. A magnet on a line shot through the door and stuck to the starboard wall. A set of thin pipes were pulled along the line and unfolded like an umbrella once they were completely inside. They expanded to a man-sized or larger box and were pulled back tightly against the door opening. There was a pulley at the top with a thick rope around it. A man in a sling came sliding in on the rope, landing nimbly in the box.

  He smoothed his jacket out and inspected us. He looked just like the pirates I had read about. He was wearing a vest, long coat, tall boots, and a three-cornered hat. Shortly thereafter, two other men came across in the sling one at a time. They were dressed more modestly. The second man barely made an impression. If I had seen him walking on the road, I would have greeted him like anyone else. The third one however, was wearing a leather face mask with goggles. It had two hoses running from where his mouth was to a cylinder mounted on his back. He also had an assortment of tools fastened onto his belt.

  The first man was surely the captain. He asked, "Whose ship is this?"

  "It's mine!" I said as if it was obvious.

  "Well..." started Gerald.

  I stared at Gerald. "Is there something you'd like to add?"

  "No, Miss. I've nothing to add."

  "My name is Fianna Kelly and who do I have the pleasure of addressing?"

  The Captain said, "You can call me Captain Benton. You have an interesting flag. I don't believe I've seen it before. It resembles a pirate flag. What country do you owe allegiance to?"

  "I come from Ireland, but I owe them nothing that I can recall."

  "I see."

  "Now then, Captain Benton. We're thankful for your assistance."

  "Don't thank me yet. Your airship could still end up at the bottom of the sea."

  "That she may, but I sincerely hope not to be aboard her when she does.'"

  He asked, "What's wrong that puts you in distress?"

  "The pilot was supposed to have signalled you that our engine was broken, and we are falling into the sea."

  "Is your pilot aware that an airship like this has to keep moving or it will lose altitude naturally?"

  I looked at one of them and he replied, "We are going down too fast to be explained away that easily."

  "I'll have Jack check out your ship. I don't want my prize to slip from my grasp until I let go of it."

  We sat and talked about the usual things that people with little in common talk about. I was hoping his man would come back from his inspection with good news; at least for one of us. I had read tales of pirates; how they sold their captives into slavery or forced them into joining their crews. Perhaps they would ransom us to Mr. Balfour for a sizeable amount of gold. Gerald had said not to mention things you didn't want to happen lest you give people ideas they didn't have before. So our conversation tended to be about meaningless things until his man returned.

  The Captain asked, "What's the situation?"

  Jack replied, "I'd rather not say in front of the lady."

  "Just watch your language then."

  "Okay. They have one of those experimental electric buoyancy controls. Once the system lost pressure, the gas flowed back through the pipes and out. I stopped up the hole so they'll not be dropping so fast. That's all I can do."

  The Captain smiled. "What's wrong with their engine?"

  "It is a long chain of poor installation and missing safeties. The primary and secondary water supplies have been connected together. The secondary is supposed to be dedicated to the buoyancy control when installed. Instead, it emptied out replenishing the primary. That caused the buoyancy control to short out due to lack of water. That caused the generator to overheat and swell. That caused her engine to seize up, and that is why they aren't going anywhere but down without help."

  I was puzzled and said, "I didn't understand most of what he just said."

  Captain Benton replied, "He said your ship is damaged beyond repair. All the engine parts will need to be replaced."

  "So as I understand it, we now have a cargo of scrap metal where our engine used to be, correct?"

  "Unfortunately, you are correct."

  I addressed Jack, "What did that buoyancy contraption do when it was working?"

  He replied, "It keeps your ship level both fore to aft and port to starboard. You don't really need one unless you take on cargo while in the air... like we do."

  The Captain added, "The men who sell them convince the buyer that they will provide the gentlest ride even in rough weather. Whoever outfitted this ship must have considered you more frail than you appear."

  He addressed Jack. "We don't need one either as long as we have an able-bodied crew that knows how to stow cargo properly and we stay above the storms."

  I turned towards Gerald and the two aviators and asked, "Would one of you be responsible for this incompetence?"

  Gerald replied, "No, Miss. That kind of work is beyond our abilities. It was performed by certified engineers in London before we left."

  I said, "I believe those engineers should be stripped of their certificates and be forced to pay for all necessary repairs to my airship."

  Jack said, "Captain, I took the liberty of checking their cargo. All they have is an automaton; looks like it's built for mining. Nothing much in the crew quarters; even less in the lady's room. The galley is well stocked though."

  I just remembered my stew. "I better get back to my cooking. You are all welcome to join us." I ran back to the galley. It's almost impossible to overcook stew, but I don't like it too mushy.

  When I came back down, another six of his crew had joined us. He ordered two of them to assist with place settings and car
rying the pot of stew down the stairs. I admit that I was grateful for the help. When making the stew, I hadn't realised how much all the individual parts would weigh when put together. I went back to the galley for bread and when I came back, another six crewmen had arrived. I was glad that I had filled the largest pot we had.

  After they ate, one man said, "I'm not saying Jimmy's cooking is lacking, but change can be good once in a while."

  Another added, "Compared to this, I'd say Jimmy's cooking is lacking a lot."

  I told them, "My mother taught me to cook it until it tastes right, then stop cooking it."

  Everyone got quiet at that point. I guessed it was time to ask the question that I had been avoiding. Maybe it was time for Jimmy to stop cooking and me to take his place. I would rather go on the boarding parties than be stuck in a galley. I sat down next to the captain and asked. "What are you going to do with me? I hear being a pirate is full of adventure."

  He replied, "I don't see you as a pirate. I can tell you have a much different destiny."

  I was puzzled... again. This was happening to me frequently these days. I said, "I don't understand."

  "You have a lot of spirit, but I can see you don't have the stomach for killing."

  I sat there waiting for him to say more. He chose that moment to take a drink. I wondered if someone like Gerald had taught him that approach or if he was just thirsty. I knew he had more to say so I just placed my hands on my lap and tried to be patient.

  "Let me tell you something, young lady. Pirating is a lot like fishing. I look at your airship and I see a little fish; too small to make a decent meal. Like the fisherman, I'm going to toss you back and wait for you to get bigger. If our paths cross when you do, rest assured that I will not let you off my line without a fight."

  He continued, "That being said, Matthew will give your pilots a quick lesson in being towed and we will tow you to the nearest port."

  I said, "I don't know how to repay you."

  "I don't think anyone would complain if you fill that pot again and let us take it when we go back to our ship."