by Cassie James
“So, Governor Woods—”
“Isn’t my biological dad.” He nods, confirming it. “I’m the bastard child he’s stuck with. It would have been political suicide for him to do anything but claim me. Not even necessarily because of the cheating, but because my real father is a man that got framed for tax crimes.” He grits his teeth through the next part. “And Governor Woods is the man that refused to pardon him, right after he found out the man had slept with his wife.”
Hearing those sharp words he uses to describe himself and the circumstances of his paternity makes my heart hurt for him. I knew there was something not right in his family, but I never would have guessed this. I stay quiet, letting him tell me more at his own pace. I’ve started to understand how he is, so I know he doesn’t want to show it, but this has to be hurting him more than he’s letting on.
“When I’m getting away with shit all the time? It’s because he bails me out to buy my silence. He’s got bigwig political opponents on every side of the aisle, but it’s his teenage bastard child that really scares the hell out of him—because he knows I could bring his whole political empire crashing down with barely a snap of my fingers.”
“Jax,” I say his name softly. This is so damn hard to listen to. “I’m sorry.” I get the feeling this isn’t something he’s talked about often, or maybe not even at all. I ask him, “Would you really ever do that to him?”
His eyes go dark. “Let’s hope I never have to actually give you an answer to that.”
I lay my head back on his chest, digesting everything he’s just told me. I didn’t actually expect him to be so open and honest with me. All week, I’ve been noticing he’s a little less rough around the edges when it comes to me, but this is still unexpected.
We go back to a peaceful silence, his exposed secret now hanging in the air between us. I let my eyes wander, studying his room more closely than I did when I’ve been in here before. I peek over at his bookshelf, squinting to see if he’s read anything interesting. There’s a book on the second shelf that certainly draws my attention.
“What’s up?” he asks as I get up and leave him in bed alone.
“This book,” I answer, not explaining any further than that. I take it off the shelf and open it, already pretty certain about what I’m going to find. It is not down on any map; true places never are. Right there at the front of the inside cover, just like the other two books. Is it possible Hollis was blackmailing the governor? That he sent Ed Woods this book for the same reason he sent one to Francis Van Doren?
“Have you seen this before?” I turn to ask Jax. He gives me a strange look as he stands up and comes over to join me. He’s probably wondering why I’m grabbing something off his shelf and then asking if he’s seen it. Of course, he’s seen it, but the real answer I’m looking for is bigger than that. I want to know if he knows why Hollis would have sent his dad this book?
“Yeah, of course. Hollis gave me that as a kid. The last birthday I had before he died, I think. I was mad as hell, too, but my mom made me keep it because she said it would be rude not to.” So, the book wasn’t for Ed at all, but for Jax. He runs his hand over the cover. “Why?”
“No reason,” I lie, telling myself that it’s just a little white lie and that it’s okay because I fully intend to tell him the truth later. Just not until I’ve talked to Smith. And then we can decide the best way to tell the others. This book—and this quote—they have to mean something. Something important. This can’t be a coincidence. “I love old books.” That part’s not a lie, I reason.
I put the book back on the shelf, trying to ignore the suspicious way Jax watches me walk back over to plop down on his bed. He knows I’m not giving him the whole truth, but I’m hoping he’ll let it go for just a little longer.
“Come here.” I beckon him back to the bed.
“More cuddling?” he asks, a little bit of dread seeping into his voice.
“No.” I shake my head. “No more cuddling.” I raise an eyebrow, waiting for him to get on the same page with me. He comes to the bed and grabs me by my ankle, pulling me slightly down the bed and forcing me to fall onto my back. A nervous giggle slips out.
He comes up and settles over me, rolling his hips against mine in a teasing way that makes me whole body shudder with pleasure. He slips his hand up my shirt to touch me as he starts to kiss me. Things start to escalate quickly, which is no surprise with Jax. He tugs at my hair the way I like so fucking much, and then nibbles at the base of my neck before kissing me on the mouth again. We stay like that for several minutes, but as my body starts to plead for more, there’s an idea forming in the back of my mind.
“Jax?” I mumble his name against his lips.
“Hmm?”
I pull back slightly. “What if… What if I said there was something I wanted to do for Smith?”
I bite down on my bottom lip, wondering what the hell I’m getting myself into as I notice the glint in Jax’s eyes.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The moment Smith lets himself into the room couldn’t have been better timing if I’d planned it. He walks in to me sitting on the edge of Jax’s bed, Jax stalking towards me from across the room as he’s getting tired of waiting. We both turn toward the door as it opens, all three of us suddenly looking like deer caught in headlights.
“Oh.” That’s all Smith says.
Jax walks over to close the bedroom door behind him as Smith takes a few uncertain steps further into the room. I can’t read his expression. Can’t tell if he has some idea why Jax called him here.
Jax raises his eyebrows at me from behind Smith, the message clear. I asked for this. He’s expecting me to take the lead now. Great. I’m the only one of us that doesn’t have experience with this. God, I can feel my whole body break out into a light sweat. Can I actually do this?
If I don’t, I’m going to lose Smith. That’s reason enough to try.
I stand up on unsteady feet. I wish in this moment I could be a lot of things. Calm, collected, sexy—but the reality is that I’m as intimidated as hell. I take a few steps toward Smith before I freeze up. I don’t know how to do this. What if someone starts to feel left out? Or if it’s better with one person than the other? What if I can’t handle two guys at once? The questions I can’t answer for myself leave me paralyzed.
Jax softens for me when he sees the panic in my eyes. He closes the distance, stepping in behind Smith close enough that they’re almost touching. Smith stiffens and glances back over his shoulder at him before looking back at me. His brows furrow with confusion, understanding not quite dawning on him. I can’t blame him. After the way I freaked out on him, he probably doesn’t even realize this is an option.
“Come here,” Jax says, beckoning me closer.
I move towards them as if a rope is pulling me in, absolutely no conscious thought required. Smith glances over his shoulder at Jax again, but Jax doesn’t acknowledge it. When I’m close enough, Jax reaches around Smith to deftly work the buttons on my shirt open with one hand. He’s slow about it. So slow I’m tempted to tell him to hurry the fuck up. All my clothes suddenly feel too hot. Too tight. Too in the way.
I’m not sure Smith is even still breathing at this point, his eyes following Jax’s hand as it works a trail down the front of my shirt. When the last button comes undone, Jax drops his hand.
Smith finally seems to find his voice, dragging his eyes away from where my shirt is now hanging open. “You don’t have to do this, Jules.” He glances at Jax again. “I don’t want her doing this because you made her feel like she had to.” Smith frowns and there’s a serious sadness to his eyes, like he really thinks my willingness in this is an impossibility.
“Give us both a little fucking credit.” Jax rolls his eyes, stepping out from behind Smith so they can actually face each other. “This wasn’t my idea.”
“I—What?” Smith chokes out as they both turn to look at me.
I never took a second to consider what havi
ng them both in the same room together like this would look like, but damn. Jax, with his dark features, and Smith, with his lighter ones, the contrast between them stirs something in me. It’s like someone invited my own personal angel and devil into this room and told me I didn’t have to choose.
I can’t find words of my own. So, I go with actions, instead. With calculated slowness, I ease my shirt off my shoulders, letting the material flutter to the floor. It’s so quiet in here a pin could drop and we’d probably all jump out of our skin.
Fuck, I should have asked Jax to turn the air conditioning up or something. I feel like my whole body is catching fire from the inside out. If I’m this overheated already, I’m not sure I can make it through whatever’s about to happen without actually combusting. Which is made all the worse when Jax grabs the back of his own shirt and tugs it over his head. Smith and I both stare at him for a minute, and honestly at this point I might actually be more into this than Smith is.
“Are you sure about this?” he asks, turning back to me with concern clear in his eyes.
I step closer to him, grabbing the hem of his shirt in my hands. “Please,” I say as I start to lift, “Stop fucking talking.” And then I pull his shirt over his head so that now both guys are only half-dressed. I can feel my eyelids droop as I look back and forth between the two of them. They’re both so distractingly hot that it’s hard to decide where to focus my eyes.
Somehow, that turns into my gaze dipping down, checking out the below the belt situation. I can tell immediately how turned on they both are, and that helps most of my uncertainty dissipate. There are no wrong answers here, I realize. All the same things are hot—just doubled.
I take advantage of my proximity to Smith, leaning into him as I tug his head down to mine so I can kiss him. There’s no easing into it, as far as I’m considered it’s full steam ahead the second our lips brush. I open my mouth to him, letting our tongues tangle as I feel the heat of Jax’s body come up behind me. He runs his hands up over my ass as I kiss his friend. He doesn’t stop there. He presses his thumbs into my back, eliciting a soft moan from me as he massages his way all the way up my spine.
Smith reacts to the sound by kissing me harder and then Jax is brushing my hair away from the back of my neck and pressing his lips to the back of my neck between my shoulders. The feel of it makes my back arch, the front of me pushing harder against Smith as my ass presses back against Jax.
“There’s too many clothes,” I mumble in between kissing Smith.
Jax chuckles as he slides his hands around my midsection and then drags them down to the waistband of my jeans. “I agree,” he murmurs as he snaps open the button of my jeans. Smith’s mouth leaves mine as he tilts his head down to watch as Jax tells me, “Take them off.”
No one has to tell me twice. This time, there’s nothing slow about the way I strip down. I yank the jeans down my legs as fast as I can, feeling the guys’ eyes on me as I bend over, my ass on display for Jax as my cleavage is on display for Smith. When I stand back up, I look from one to the other.
“Your turn.” My voice comes out huskier than it ever has, raspy from the effort it takes to talk through the mouth watering that’s happening as I admire how goddamn hot these guys both are. And right now, all of that’s for me. Every inch of them. If this is the trade-off I get for all the bullshit life has thrown at me, I’ll fucking take it.
I step back as the guys both shuck their pants, that way I can watch them both at once. Jax glances from Smith to me, and then pulls his briefs over his hips, too, leaving himself completely exposed to the both of us. And even though I’ve already had sex with Jax, it’s like I’m seeing him for the first time. I only manage to tear my eyes away when Smith follows suit, pulling his boxers down and stepping out of them.
They’re both naked. I’m in a bedroom with two naked guys. Holy shit. A darker look comes over Jax’s face as he stalks towards me.
He grabs a fistful of my hair as his other hand splays across my lower back, jerking me closer to him. His mouth descends on mine, kissing me so hard it’s almost painful as he uses my hair to tug me this way and that—however he wants me. I try to keep up but it’s impossible. He kisses me like he’s really only using my mouth for his own pleasure and I can start to feel an uncomfortable feeling building between my legs. I shift in place, trying to rub my thighs together, and Jax pulls back to frown at me.
He makes me turn, putting my back to his front again, and makes me jump slightly when he cups me with his hand through the front of my underwear. “Do you feel that?”
I nod even though I’m feeling a lot of things and I have no idea which thing he’s talking about. I shudder as his breath blows across my ear.
“You’re not in charge anymore, do you understand?” I nod, goosebumps prickling up all over my body. “The only relief you get is if one of us decides to give it to you.” My breath catches as I keep nodding like an idiot.
Jax lets go of me, giving me a gentle shove that lands me in Smith’s arms. He stares down at me with all the reverence of someone that really cares for me. I don’t even need to hear the words because I see them clear as day. He loves me. Which makes this whole thing that much sweeter. I love him, too, even though I know this isn’t the right moment to say it. Not that I need to anyway, no, right now is all about showing not telling.
Smith puts a hand on my hip to lead me backward, walking me towards the bed until the backs of my knees hit the mattress. I let myself fall back onto the plush bed, looking up at Smith as he climbs over me, his hips sliding excruciatingly against me as his hard-on teases my body. It’s a promise of what’s to come. Remembering Jax’s words, I fight not to rub against Smith like a goddamn cat in heat.
Down, girl. The boys are in charge.
“I’m still wearing too many clothes,” I whisper up to him.
He starts to answer but a rattling noise startles me. I look over to find Jax dragging a chair closer to the bed. His eyes find mine, unwavering as he sits down and leans back casually, making himself comfortable with quite the view.
“Undress her,” Jax instructs Smith while never taking his eyes off of me.
Smith is all too happy to oblige. He dips his fingers into the sides of my panties, drawing the black material down my legs with excruciating slowness. I raise my hips for him, and when the fabric passes my knees, he moves so his mouth can reach my thighs—kissing the top of one and then the other. He slides my panties the rest of the way off and then undoes my bra and flings it away. I’m certain things are going to kick into high gear, but Smith moves back between my legs to kiss my thighs again, his mouth working from the outside of my thighs to the inside. My body quivers in anticipation.
When his lips touch dangerously close to my center I nearly come up off the bed. He chuckles, the sound rattling me as his mouth vibrates against the inside of my thigh.
I’m not even remotely ready for the moment he tastes me. I don’t know where to put my hands, trying—and failing—to keep them from grasping the back of his head. I don’t know where to put my eyes either, at first, but then they land on Jax, watching him as he watches Smith. I can see him getting hard as he watches, and when he realizes I’m watching him he starts to stroke himself.
I like that he’s watching. I even like that he’s touching himself.
It isn’t long before I’m desperately tugging at Smith’s hair, wanting him to continue but also stop at the same time. I need more. But he doesn’t stop until he’s good and ready. And by that point—I’m coming completely undone. I throw my head back as a whole range of sounds come out of me. Within seconds, I feel spent.
That doesn’t stop my toes from curling as Smith starts to kiss his way up my body, paying special attention to my chest before working his way up the side of my neck.
I can’t take much more of this. Everything is too heightened. Like every single one of my senses is on high alert. My body tenses as Jax stands up and strolls closer to the bed. Smith glanc
es over at him and then rolls to the side, grabbing my hip to roll me over with him so that we’re facing each other. It’s a good thing we’re laying down because I don’t think my legs could hold me up as Jax gets on the bed and presses himself up against my back. I can feel every inch of him, including his dick as it nestles up against my ass. Thank fuck for king-sized beds.
Smith’s mouth finds mine as Jax skims his hand up the side of my body I get so caught up in Smith kissing me that I don’t get the chance to notice Jax’s mouth moving over my shoulder until he sinks his teeth into my skin, making me lurch one way and then the other as my body seeks out the contact it needs.
They both press closer, sandwiching me between them. And holy hell, are four hands better than two as they both take their time with my body. It’s hell trying to be even somewhat still as their two totally different styles of touching meld together. For every time I wince from Jax’s rough handling of me, Smith is there soothing the pain.
Something weird happens as the minutes pass like this, I start to see it. The way the two of them are so close, and the way Smith naturally defaults to him. It’s because they’re so in tune with what the other needs. I’ve never met two people more able to balance each other.
Jax is the first to pull away, his body heat abandoning me for a moment as a drawer opens and closes. I can’t help but tense up, uncertain of exactly how this next part goes. There’s a part of me that’s worried I won’t like it when it actually comes down to going all the way. I don’t know who’s going where or how, and that anxiety makes me stiff.
“Relax,” Jax growls at me as he nips the skin at the base of my neck. He sounds so much like how he did the first time we did this, and it’s that memory that convinces me to let go. Jax didn’t fail me the first time around. I have to trust that him and Smith are going to take care of me this time, too.
