Rewind

by Mariam Alaa

  “It’s not your fault.” He exhales heavily as he shakes his head. “But since you’re now aware of our previous relationship, I think it’s time for me to tell you the truth about what happened on the day of the accident because I wasn’t honest about a certain part of it.”

  “Why? What happened?” My eyes widen slightly at his statement.

  “I wasn’t driving you home,” for some weird reason, he avoids eye contact as he states.

  “What? Then where were we going?” I hop on my feet from the sudden rush of adrenaline that burst though me.

  “Our parents weren’t exactly smiling on our engagement party and after a while the ‘not smiling part’ turned into something much worse.”

  “Why what happened?” I press further more for the truth.

  “T-they didn’t want us to get married; they were against us being engaged from the very start, thus they wanted us to end our relationship, but that wasn’t what—”

  “Wait, why did my parents want us to end our engagement?” I ask, bewilderment taking over my emotions.

  Why would my parents deny me from a love I was so obviously seeking?

  “Let’s just say they weren’t a big fan of me, but it doesn’t matter. The thing is, we weren’t okay with not being together, so we decided to face them. We told them we were going on with the process whether they liked it or not, and when we put the plan in action, we had an accident.”

  “We were running away?!” My jaw hit the floor because Evangeline- current me- would’ve never even defied her parents, let alone run away with a guy, but I’m not sure whether I would’ve defied my parents or not if it came down to love.

  “God, no! You wouldn’t have been okay with it and neither would I. We were going to meet up with a judge in a court to officiate our marriage because both of us agreed that we didn’t want a religious wedding,” he demonstrates.

  So, the accident happened when we were on our way to getting married? With what my parents have done so far, I wouldn’t be surprised if someone claimed they were the reason behind our accident.

  I don’t know what to think; my thoughts are all irrational now so when Adam stated he’s heading out to give me time to rest some more, all I did was nod.

  Just before he closes the door behind him, he turns around and says something that causes my heart to beat wildly in my chest. Heading out, he shuts the door behind him, while I, on the other hand, couldn’t stop thinking about what he just said. The words- they kept resonating in my ears and going on and on in my mind.

  ‘True Love Never Dies.’

  TLND

  “Hey there beautiful.” Lexi winks as she enters the room.

  “Hey, Lex.” I greet her back.

  She rushes quickly, jumps right next to me on the bed, and eyes me in silence that it was starting to make me anxious. “What?” I raise my eyebrows questioningly.

  “Nothing. How are you feeling?”

  “Lost?” I push my hair back in distraught because the truth is that I’m currently consumed by more than one emotion, but overall what I’m honestly feeling is that I’m at loss.

  “I know.” Her mood looks dampened all of a sudden, hence she pulls me slowly for a comforting hug as she says, “I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault- really; the only ones I’m putting the blame on are my parents. Well, my parents and Trevor.”

  Just thinking about them makes me feel really down. It’s not easy to learn that the people you’re living with, who you sleep with under the same roof, eat with on the same dining table and trust more than anyone else, turn out to be the real traitors- the real backstabbers. At some point when Lexi was telling me what really happened, I thought ‘I’ll listen to both sides of the story’ because well, let’s not judge too fast, but then when I thought of how they so easily lied straight to my face while I was on the rode of discovering the reality of my situation, my mind couldn’t figure out a way by which they’ll successfully prove their innocence- by which they’ll successfully prove that they were doing this intentionally for my own ‘good’.

  “So…” Lexi interrupts the silence, “Did you call your parents since you cancelled the wedding?”

  Lexi’s question makes me freeze in spot because in the midst of all this chaos, I’ve forgotten one of the most important things that I should’ve done.

  “God! You look like you’re going to faint.” Lexi grins as she bumps my arm playfully. “Loosen up; I already called them.”

  “You did?” I tilt my head up in confusion. “But didn’t you say they threatened you? What did you tell them?”

  “Don’t get me wrong,” Lexi states confidently, “Your family might be frightening at times, but the only person I gave a damn about was you, so fuck them and their threats. I told them you got your memory back.”

  “What?!” I can’t help but let out a light chuckle as I stare horrifyingly at the crazy woman lying on bed next to me. “Lexi, you can’t do that! Wait, how did they react?”

  “You should’ve listened to the conversation; it was hilarious hearing your family lose their minds on the phone, but don’t worry. After satisfying my inner crave by watching them panic, I told them the truth: Evangeline knows she’s Evelyn, and she doesn’t love Adrien, so she cancelled off the wedding. If the girl doesn’t want to marry the guy, she does whatever the hell she wants- end of story.”

  “What did they say about me cancelling it off?” I ask with a voice laced in panic now.

  “Your parents screamed, literally, kept calling me names for ‘destroying their lives’, and promised that they’ll destroy mine.” Lexi shrugged as if it no longer affects her.

  “What does my choice of who I love have to do with ‘destroying their lives’?” My eyes find Lexi’s as I voice out my question.

  Lexi huffs out a breath as she looks me back in the eyes with her honest hazel ones. “Honestly?” I nod, pleading her with my eyes. “Honestly, Evangeline, Adam and I thought it would be better if you get to know the entire truth, but not all of it at once. What we told you was already overwhelming, so let’s break it down into stages, okay? When you completely process what we’ve told you today, I’ll give you something that’ll help you discover the whole truth yourself. Does this sound good?”

  I think about her offer and decide that maybe, just maybe, it’ll be for the best, so I end up nodding.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “Ask away.” She sits up from her sleeping position and crosses her legs. Lucky for her, she left in the middle of the day; she went to change her clothes into simple jeans and a shirt and came right back here to keep me company.

  “How come I don’t remember something as personal as my own name? I get how I may have lost my teenage memories- memories right before the accident but my name? That I don’t get.”

  “Evie.” Lexi avoids eye contact and looks down on her lap as she explains, “You suffered different types of amnesia. The accident- your injury- triggered your suffering of retrograde and global psychogenic amnesia- at least that’s what the doctors claimed at first.” She hesitantly looks up to my face before carrying on with her explanation, “Global psychogenic amnesia is where you lose your personal identity for a few hours, days or month depending on the brain trauma.” She averts her gaze again. “Your brain trauma was the kind of trauma the doctors claimed to have never seen before so when you woke up in alert not remembering who you are and what happened, the doctors thought it was global amnesia, and you’d get your memory back in a couple of days, but you didn’t. When you didn’t know who Adam was, though, the doctors claimed that it’s retrograde amnesia. It’s where you lose memory of everything that happened before the incident. When your body started recovering and by the time you got home, new memories were imprinting in your mind, and you quickly accepted yourself as Evangeline. You were accustoming to changes real quick- accustoming to having a new identity. Some of your past memories, your childhood ones, made a slow faded recovery.”
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  “That explains a lot actually.” I find Lexi eyeing me nervously, so I try to lighten the mood for a change. “But that was one hell of an explanation; what are you a doctor now? How did you remember all of this?”

  “Researches.” She shrugs her shoulders. “After your accident, I kept trying to understand the symptoms you’ll show once you wake up so that I’d prepare myself to what I’d see. Plus, I was trying to see if there was a way that would help bring your memory back.” She wipes a few tears as her chest vibrates with a sad kind of laugh. “I’m such a failure; I didn’t find anything.”

  “No you’re not; you’re not a doctor, Lexi. If the doctors themselves didn’t find a recovery road for my memories, how did you expect to find them yourself?” I pull her into my arms before whispering into her ears, “You’re a good friend, Lex.”

  As if suddenly remembering something she forgot to mention to me, Lexi sits up again and wipes away the few drying tears before looking at me seriously. “There’s something I forgot to tell you. I knew that you wouldn’t want to return right this moment to your parent’s house, right?”

  I nod slightly, not sure where this conversation is heading before Lexi continues, looking unsure of how I’ll respond, “I would’ve told you to stay at my house, but your parents will know right away where you’re at, so I thought it might not be such a bad idea if you stay here.”

  “Lexi wha—”

  “Wait.” She covers my mouth with her hand so that I’ll let her talk. “Before you get the wrong idea, Adam was already offering his entire top two floors for rent, since he almost never goes up there. Literally, his entire life is on this floor. He told me how he’s even going to build a door at the start of the staircase so that whoever rents the top two floors gets some privacy, and he’ll leave you completely alone. It’ll be exactly the same as if you’re living in your own apartment in an apartment building. The only two reasons why you might want to go down is because of the kitchen for breakfast, lunch and dinner, or if you want to leave the house; other than that, you won’t need anything.”

  “Lexi I—”

  “Just think about it, while I go talk to Adam, since it was solely my idea, and I haven’t shared it with him yet,” within three seconds of saying this, she was nowhere to be found in the room.

  While Lexi’s murmurs outside the room were buzzing my ears, I kept weighing the pros and cons of staying here, thinking about the odds of any repair or damage me living here will possibly do, and finally, I make up my mind.

  The decision was finally made.

  Chapter 12

  Lexi was driving me home. Home: the place where you share your life with those most closest to you. The only place that I used to think would always protect me from the unknown. The only place, my mom would constantly say, that will forever have my back in life. The only place that causes children to smile at the end of a school day, when the bell rings its final ring, knowing that that’s where they’re heading-that they’re heading home. The only place that motivates us to never give up even if we’re having a bad day because we know that that’s where we’re returning to after a long day of work- that we’re returning to our peace. The place, that when we departure, our heart aches because we think of how much we’re going to miss our family- even if it’s just for a few seconds.

  I was heading to that place now, and I wasn’t exactly on cloud nine. In fact, it was the opposite way around, for I was completely down. Facing my parents with what little yet sufficient information I have –according to Lexi- wasn’t something I anticipated doing so fast. Despite having my time, even if it wasn’t a lot, to think and process what I now know about my life, I wanted more time to do the exact same thing- think and process- to know exactly what I would like to say to my parents. Time was the key, and I didn’t have it. All because we were approaching night by now, and I had to decide where I want to stay these upcoming few days.

  “Evangeline, we’re here.” Lexi knocks me out of my trance.

  Setting my gaze on the house I always called home, my body shivers from the sudden cold. Not from the weather, though. After what I untangled from their dark tangle of secrets, I doubt that this house will ever provide me with the warmth it always previously did. Visualizing my obvious discomfit, Lexi places a hand on my shoulder, distracting me from my crest-fallen thoughts.

  “Would you like it if I head inside with you?”

  Lowering my gaze from the house to Lexi, I shake my head. “I need to do this alone. Will it be okay if you wait in the car till I’m done?”

  “Yes, don’t worry. Just head in there, do what you have to do, and when you finish, I’ll be right here waiting for you.”

  After Lexi gave me a thumbs up, I unfastened my seatbelt, took in a deep breath as if my life depended on it, and slowly made my way out of the car. On my way to our their ‘welcome’ mat in front of the main door, I didn’t overlook neither my parents’ silver Lamborghini Veneno nor Trevor’s black Aston Martin One-77, but I did a mistake. A tiny mistake that led to a dreadfully chaotic effect. The only time I didn’t fully survey my surroundings, because I didn’t, was the time that I had to the most. After this one slip-up, I made an oath to myself to never not be cautious ever again. Here I was, about to knock on the door, with a little bit of hesitation, for I was drenched in fear of what would happen once I go in, oblivious that the real threat behind that door was not my parents but someone else.

  While I was on my way to the door, I failed to heed something extremely domestic to my vision that if I were more aware, I wouldn’t have been as shaken as I was when I knocked on the main door, and it flew open. Something that if I have noticed, I wouldn’t have knocked on the door in the first place. Something that would’ve caused me to not think twice about turning around and running in the opposite direction. Something that I wasn’t counting on being here. If I had taken a little more time to just look closely, I would’ve felt like someone dropped a bombshell on me because I would’ve never been able to determine a possible reason to what the blue Koenigsegg CCXR Trevita was doing in the driveway of my parents’ house, neither would I have been as surprised as I was when the door was slammed open, and I came face to face with the person I’ve wanted to hide from the most- Adrien.

  “I can’t believe the audacity of that jerk.” Lexi kept cursing under her breath while throwing me a few worried glances every now and then as she drove me to my new residence. “Are you okay?”

  I respond with a slight nod, not capable of saying another word after I was done quickly recapping to her what happened inside; let’s just say that ‘things didn’t go as planned’ in itself was an understatement.

  “Does it hurt?” She looks extremely nervous as she poses the question.

  “A little, but don’t worry about it.” I direct my gaze to what’s out of the window, too embarrassed and hurt by what happened.

  “I’ll stop the car as soon as we pass by a pharmacy, okay?” Another question to which I simply nod.

  After a few minutes, Lexi slowed the car down probably because she saw a pharmacy. She rushed out of the car quickly, made her way to the entrance, probably to get me something to ease the pain. While I was sitting here in my car, I kept thinking of everything that happened inside the house, and as I did, now that I was finally alone in the car, I couldn’t help stop the escaping sobs vibrating from my chest.

  “Where were you? What the hell were you thinking cancelling off the wedding and running away like that? Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? Do you think that it’s easy planning these kind of events? Do you know how much we’ve paid? Do you know how many millions your little act cost? Do you know how humiliated we were, apologizing to all the guests? Do you know that the news is spreading all over England that Evangeline Williams, daughter of George Williams: the owner of Williams Incorporation, ran away from her wedding? Do you know that people- strangers- are writing theories of why you did what you did? Some say you suffer from Gamophobia- fear of commitme
nt; some say you have a Philophobia- fear of love, and others say you have a Gynophobia- fear of men. Do you know that the little stunt that you pulled spoiled the name of your famil—”

  My father couldn’t stop yelling at me since the minute I stepped foot into the house that I could no longer handle listening, for my purpose of coming here wasn’t to get yelled at yet do the yelling part myself. I didn’t come here to have someone blame me, rub it in my face how I’m such a ‘disgrace’, and I certainly didn’t come here to be humiliated by my parents in front of my ex; I came here to say what I want to say and give a chance to my parents to explain themselves- if they can even do that.

  “Well, I wouldn’t have done it if you haven’t lied to me in the first place!” My face illustrates a juxtaposition of betrayal and hurt.

  My heart’s beats were rapidly rising with each second passing by. I’ve never raised my voice on anyone in my family- certainly not my father. Expectedly, my father’s confident act falters. Even though it was for two seconds only, it still did, and I didn’t know whether it’s because of his surprise at my tone or because of my confession on how I know that they lied. Whatever the reason, all I knew is that this was further proof that they did –in fact- hide something from me. I don’t know what my parents, Trevor and Adrien thought they were doing trying to change the subject. All they did ever since I came through the front door was set the spotlights on me and my psychotic ‘runaway bride’ act.

  “Don’t raise your voice at your father young lady.” These were my mom’s first words to me- shocker.

  “What the hell did that bitch tell you?” Trevor’s voice was laced in fury as he directs his question at me.

  I bite my tongue, not wanting to give in to the desire of talking back so as not to fuel the already chaotic atmosphere with more chaos. After all what Lexi’s done, I can’t believe they have the audacity to call her that. She was there for me at all times, and she revealed the black box of truth my family has buried away from me.