Vari's Choices

by Laura Jo Phillips

  “What kind of lady?” he asked, while Vari rinsed the soap from her hands and turned the water off.

  “A shadow lady. Didn’t you see her?”

  “No, I didn’t,” he said, setting her down and handing her a towel. “What’s her name?”

  “I don’t know. I never saw her before.” Vari dried her hands, handed the towel back to her father, and then took her place at the small table.

  “Why do you call her a shadow lady?” Ban asked, careful to keep worry out of his tone.

  “Because she looked like a shadow, but with faded colors instead of darkness.”

  “Faded colors?” Ban asked, perplexed.

  “Her colors were…thin,” Vari said, struggling to find words to explain herself. “I could see through her.”

  Ban nearly dropped his coffee cup. “You could see through her?”

  “Yes,” Vari said, catching his tension. “Did I do something bad, Popi?”

  “No, sweetheart, of course not. I promise. Did she say anything to you?”

  Vari had just put some eggs in her mouth so she finished chewing and swallowed before answering. “She asked if I could see her.” Vari frowned again. “That was a funny question, wasn’t it Popi?”

  “Yes, it was,” Ban said, his heart sinking as he began to suspect what was happening. Vari already had one difficult ability. She didn’t need another. He considered voxing his brothers, but decided to make absolutely certain first. “Was she still out there when you came in?”

  “Yes. She asked if I’d come back out later.”

  “How about we finish eating, clean up the kitchen, then I’ll go out with you to meet her.”

  “Okay,” Vari agreed. “Popi?”

  “Yes?”

  “Since I can’t hear the shadow lady’s thoughts, does that mean the telethy went away?”

  Ban’s heart twisted in his chest. He knew his daughter well enough to know that nothing he could say would ever convince her one way or another. She needed to prove it to herself before she’d accept it, and the sooner the better. “It’s telepathy, sweetheart,” he corrected gently. “Would you like me to lower my shield a little so you can try?”

  Vari nodded enthusiastically. “Yes please, Popi. Can you do it now?”

  “Sure,” Ban said, then lowered his shield while keeping his eyes fixed on Vari’s face. The moment he saw disappointment darken her eyes he raised his shield. “I’m sorry, Vari.”

  “It’s okay,” Vari said stabbing another chunk of egg and putting it in her mouth. At just five years of age, she was already far too good at hiding her feelings.

  Ban said nothing more on the subject and neither did Vari. When they were finished eating Vari got her step stool out of the pantry and helped her father clean up the kitchen and wash the dishes. Then they went outside so Vari could introduce him to the woman whose name she didn’t know.

  They stepped off the porch and rounded the corner of the house, then Vari stopped in her tracks, frowning. The lady wasn’t by herself any more.

  “Vari, what’s the matter?”

  “There was only one shadow lady here before.”

  “How many of them are there now?”

  “You can’t see them?”

  “No, I can’t see them. How many are there?”

  “Four. Two shadow ladies and two shadow men.” She took a step back when they all moved toward her.

  “Don’t be afraid,” the first shadow lady said. “We won’t hurt you. We couldn’t hurt you even if we wanted to.”

  “You can’t?”

  “No, we can’t.”

  Vari looked up at her father who had a strange expression on his face that she didn’t understand. “Popi, the shadow lady said they can’t hurt me. Is that true?”

  “I’m not sure,” Ban said carefully. “I think we should go back in the house until I can find out more about this.”

  Vari looked back at the shadow people, her eyes widening when she saw how close they’d gotten. The first shadow lady was just a couple of inches away now. Vari backed up a step, suddenly afraid to let the shadow lady touch her. The shadow lady moved closer.

  Even though she was a big girl and didn’t need to be carried, she was relieved when her father picked her up. Now that she was so high up she had no trouble seeing three new shadow people suddenly appear from nothing. And they were all staring at her.

  “We’re going inside now,” Ban said as Vari began trembling in his arms.

  “Okay, Popi,” Vari whispered, nodding her head quickly. “Hurry.”

  Chapter 2

  When Vari was certain her shield was as strong as it was going to get, she tried to meditate in an effort to distance herself from the steady increase of pain and pressure in her head. It wasn’t working much better than her attempts to strengthen her shield, so she didn’t mind at all when her hand terminal began to chime. She sat up and reached for the device, surprised to see her youngest sister’s image on the screen instead of her fathers’. She accepted the call and projected Bean’s face onto the wall.

  “Hi Bean,” she said, immediately noticing the tension in her sister’s expression even though she was trying to hide it. “What’s the matter?”

  “The Dads found a suitable ship close enough to your current location to pick you up in four…no, make that three and a half hours from now,” Bean replied with a too bright smile. Vari frowned, arched one brow, and waited.

  Bean’s smile vanished. “It’s the Bihotza.”

  Vari’s stomach dropped. “Is this a joke?”

  “Of course not. I’d never joke about something like this, especially considering the seriousness of your current situation.”

  “I know you wouldn’t, Bean. It’s just…well…rajne.”

  “Exactly,” Bean said. “Which is why I asked the Dads to let me tell you.”

  “I appreciate that.”

  “Vari, you may want to consider telling the Dads about…well…you know.”

  “Why?” she asked in surprise.

  “I did a little checking of my own, which is why it took me so long to make this call. The next nearest Jasani ship could reach you in about twelve hours. But we both know the Dads won’t switch to a ship that’ll take that much longer to reach you without a very compelling reason. If you tell them the truth, they might do it. On the other hand, they might not. They’re very worried about you, Vari, as am I.”

  Vari knew her sister was worried. She was a little worried herself. Just under an hour and a half had passed since her jammers had failed and she was already starting to get tired of holding the shield in place. She thought she could squeak through another three and a half hours, but if she had to wait twelve hours she’d probably be comatose by the time the other ship arrived. Or dead. She wasn’t going to tell her sister that, though. Bean was already worried enough.

  “I appreciate your efforts Bean, but the Bihotza is already on its way here. I can’t inconvenience even more people than I already have.” It wasn’t the whole truth, but it was true nonetheless.

  “I figured you’d say that,” Bean said. “You have the spray with you, don’t you?”

  “I do. And the pills as well.”

  “You should take one pill now and use the spray today and tomorrow morning, just to be sure. That’ll give the pills plenty of time to go into full effect.”

  Vari nodded almost absently. “Bean, do you know if the Dads mentioned my telepathy to—well—to them?”

  “Of course they didn’t,” Bean said in what was, for her, a sharp tone. “That’s classified.”

  “I’m sure they have a high enough clearance, Bean, and I didn’t mean it as an accusation. I just need to know what reason the Dads gave for all of this.”

  “They didn’t give a reason. Ata sent an urgent, priority one request that was, quite frankly, just a word or two short of an outright order. They received an acknowledgment and acceptance less than ten minutes later. Explanations weren’t offered or asked for.”
Bean frowned. “They did ask if they were to transport your attendant as well. Their word, not mine.”

  “Attendant? What’s that mean?”

  “No idea. Dede simply told them that you were on your own.”

  “Do you think they could have meant Pandora?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe.” Something in her sister’s voice caught Vari’s attention.

  “What are you thinking, Bean?”

  “You’re not going to like it.”

  “All the more reason not to make me drag it out of you.”

  “Well, you might consider telling them the truth.” Vari stared at her sister’s image in open mouthed surprise. “I’m not talking about your psychic abilities either,” Bean continued. “Honestly, Vari, you have enough to hide as it is. Why hide this when you don’t have to?”

  “What do you suggest I do?”

  “Confront them directly, tell them you’re not interested, and move on.” Vari paled. Bean’s eyes narrowed. “You don’t think they’d try to force you, do you?”

  “Force me?” Vari asked in surprise. Her sister nodded. “No Bean, I don’t think they’d do that.”

  “Then just tell them. You’ve been worried about this long enough, and you don’t need the additional stress. Especially now that you’re going to be in close quarters with them without a jammer.”

  Vari was shaking her head before her sister finished speaking. “I can’t do that.”

  “Vari,” Bean began, then hesitated.

  “Go ahead.”

  “I understand that you don’t want to be mated yet. I’m not ready for that either. What I don’t understand is, why does it scare you? I have to admit, that worries me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so scared of anything before.” Bean paused. “Well, not since we were five, anyway.”

  Vari immediately slammed the door on the memories Bean had just exposed and focused on how best to answer the question. She was a terrible liar, so she chose her words carefully. “How would you feel if you knew you'd be wrapped in padding and put in a bubble for the rest of your life?”

  “Is that what you think they’ll do to you?” Bean gasped, appalled.

  “It’s what I heard them say,” Vari replied, wincing inwardly.

  “In that case, I have to ask again; why don’t you just tell them you’re not interested?”

  Vari dropped her eyes and shook her head. “Because I’m not a good liar.”

  Bean was so shocked that her mouth fell open, giving Vari a good idea of how she’d looked moments earlier. While she waited for her sister to respond she promised herself to never, ever let her mouth fall open like that again. A bug could fly right in. Yuck.

  “Okay, I get it now,” Bean said after closing her mouth. “Don’t worry, Sis, I’ve got your back on this, and so will Ria.”

  “Thanks, Bean.”

  “How’s your shield holding up?”

  “It’s already starting to weaken a little,” Vari admitted, grateful for the change in subject. “I’m sure I can get through the next few hours as long as I stay in my stateroom.”

  “Try some music. That used to help sometimes, didn’t it?”

  “Good idea. I didn’t even think of that. I have a copy of Rayne’s latest concerto, which I haven’t had a chance to finish anyway.”

  “I hope it helps. You should probably get packed up now, before the pain you’re trying to hide gets any worse.”

  “I will. What’s the plan?”

  “The Bihotza will send a message to your hand terminal as soon as they get close enough to the Leaper to transport you. When you receive it, turn off your transport disrupter, then use your hand terminal to respond to the message when you’re ready. They’ll lock on to your hand terminal and transport you immediately.”

  “That’s simple enough,” Vari said. “I guess I’ll be seeing you a little sooner than expected.”

  “That’s the bright side to all of this,” Bean said. “With you off vacationing with Shanti, Ria working on the Leaper all summer, and the boys off at flight school, it’s been really quiet and sort of lonely around here.”

  “Why didn’t you go with Mom and Aunt Lari to Garza? Tani would have loved seeing you.”

  “Because they want to stay until the baby is born, and I have to go back to school in a couple of weeks. I didn’t want them to leave early to accommodate me, and they would have no matter what they said.”

  “You’re right, they would have,” Vari agreed.

  “Ata said Shanti agreed to tell Ria what’s going on with you, but I’d like to call her myself. Let her know I talked to you and how you’re doing.”

  “That’d be great,” Vari replied. “Give her a few hours to sleep though, okay? She really needs it.”

  “I will. Take care of yourself, Vari. You too, Pandora.”

  After disconnecting Vari took a few moments to focus on her breathing in an effort to calm herself. The news that she would soon be on the Bihotza, and in the company of the Bihotza’s Commanders, had hit her much harder than she’d let Bean see.

  “What do you think, Pandora?” she asked a few minutes later.

  “About what?”

  “About the Dracon-Bats.”

  “I’m not sure I know what you mean.”

  Vari glanced at her sharply. She loved Pandora unconditionally just as she did her family, and couldn’t imagine her life without her. But she wasn’t blind to her faults. Or the games she sometimes liked to play. Most of the time she played along just to amuse her tiny friend, but this was not one of those times.

  “Let’s have it, Pandora.”

  “Have what?”

  “I think I’m going to get a pet cat,” Vari said thoughtfully. “They’re quiet, independent, and do a good job of getting rid of annoying pests.”

  “You were much nicer when you were a child,” Pandora said stiffly.

  “No, I was much easier to fool when I was a child, and don’t change the subject.”

  “You’re not going to like this.”

  “Didn’t Bean already say that?”

  “Yes, but that doesn’t make it less true.”

  “I don’t have to like it, Pandora. I just have to know it, and the sooner the better, if you don't mind.”

  “Fine,” Pandora huffed. “This is a crossroad which, as you know, means you have to make this choice entirely on your own.”

  “I hate crossroads,” Vari grumbled.

  “As I said,” Pandora said pointedly.

  “So, to clarify, my options are to stay on the Leaper until the pressure ruptures an artery in my brain resulting in coma and eventual death, or transport to the Bihotza. Is that about it?” Pandora nodded. “Well, at least the choice is an easy one this time.”

  Pandora shrugged, dropping her eyes to the floor.

  “What? You don’t agree?”

  Pandora began counting the stitches in the hem of her dress.

  “You’d prefer that I choose the brain hemorrhage-coma-death route?”

  Pandora dropped the hem and studied the ceiling as though it was covered in classical artwork instead of thin plastic tiles.

  “All right, all right,” Vari said. “I've decided to go to the Bihotza and I promise not to change my mind no matter what you say. Is that good enough?”

  “Yes, it is. And there’s no need to get snippy.”

  “Pandora,” Vari warned.

  “I just don’t like them, Vari. They have terrible tempers, they’re rude, they care nothing for their own family, and if they discover the truth they’ll try to lock you up like a criminal for the rest of your life. Maybe you should call your Dads back and ask them to find a different ship.”

  Vari wasn’t the least bit surprised by Pandora’s opinion since she’d heard it many times over the past ten years. She didn’t agree with it, as Pandora knew perfectly well, nor was she in the mood to debate the issue. Again. So she sidestepped it instead.

  “You heard Bean. The next closest ship is twel
ve hours away and between me and you, Pandora, I won’t last that long. I won’t last half that long. Besides, I just promised that I wouldn’t change my mind.”

  “I know,” Pandora sighed, her wings drooping a little.

  “There really is no other choice.”

  “You don’t seem very worried about this, Vari. Why not?”

  Vari was worried. Quite a bit, in fact. But she wasn’t getting into a debate on that subject either. “I have the pills and the spray, so what’s there to worry about?"

  “That’s true,” Pandora said, smiling brightly.

  “I'm glad you're happy now," Vari said. "Which reminds me.”

  Once again she reached for her toiletries case. It took only a moment to find the pills she’d gotten from Doc two years earlier on the unlikely chance that she’d ever need them. She opened the metal cylinder, tapped one of the tiny white disks into her palm and popped it into her mouth. Then she retrieved an aluminum spray bottle and shook it gently. It was a small bottle, but it was full. It was more than enough to get her through the twelve to twenty four hours it would take for the pills to kick in. She stood up and proceeded to spray herself thoroughly with the clear, odorless fluid before returning it to her toiletries case along with the pills.

  The pain in her head had intensified another notch or two so she sat on the edge of the bed, closed her eyes, rubbed her temples, and concentrated on her shield. Several minutes later the pain had only lessened fractionally. She checked the time and sighed.

  It was still early, but from what she’d observed during her time on the Leaper, about a third of the passengers would be up on Deck One having breakfast in one of three main dining areas, two of which weren’t far from where she sat. That was more than four thousand people, not counting the ship’s employees.

  She realized that Pandora was watching her with more fear and worry than she’d ever seen on her face before. She set the hand terminal down and said, “Three hours, two minutes. I can do that.”

  “Of course you can,” Pandora said stoutly.