Vari's Choices

by Laura Jo Phillips

Vari forced a smile she didn’t feel, then stood up again. She packed her things, taking care to move very slowly and squat rather than bend over so she didn’t have to move her head more than absolutely necessary. She always traveled light, which helped, but she still had to pause a few times to breathe through the steadily increasing pain caused by the steadily increasing number of people congregating on Deck One.

  When she was finished she set her large duffle bag on the floor next to the bed and put the toiletries case on top of it, making sure the straps for both were free so she could grab them easily without fumbling. Then she went to check the bathroom, the shower, the tiny closet, and all of the built in drawers. Satisfied that she hadn’t missed anything, she sat on the bed again and checked the time. “I managed to kill forty minutes,” she said in surprise.

  “That’s all?” Pandora asked. “As slow as you were going I thought it was much longer.”

  “Considering that it usually takes me less than ten minutes to pack, I think I stretched it out as far as it could be stretched.”

  She picked up her hand terminal and slid open a tiny compartment that held a set of micro-earphones. Just before she slipped them into her ears, her hand terminal chimed again. She glanced at the screen and smiled a little before accepting it.

  “Hi Shanti.”

  “How are you holding up?” Shanti asked worriedly.

  “It’s not too bad, so far.”

  “Which, in Vari-speak, means it hurts like the fires of nekon,” Shanti said fretfully. “Sometimes I wish I had your talent just so I could know how you really feel.”

  Vari swallowed hard. “No, my friend, you truly do not.”

  Shanti realized immediately that her words had upset Vari. She reached up and lightly touched the center of her forehead with the tip of her ring finger. Vari returned the gesture, accepting the silent apology, and Shanti changed the subject. “Any progress in finding a way off this ship?”

  “Yes. A Jasani cruiser is on its way. They should be here in about two hours and fifteen minutes.”

  “That’s fantastic news,” Shanti said with real relief. “Is there anything I can do, Vari? I know you didn’t get to eat this morning. I could bring you some food, or something to drink. Just name it.”

  “That’s very thoughtful of you Shanti, and I appreciate it, but I really can’t eat or drink right now.” She turned her head. “Pandora?”

  “No, thank you,” Pandora said. “I couldn't eat either.”

  “All right, but let me know if you change your minds. Please give me a call when you’re safe and sound, okay?”

  “Promise. Enjoy the rest of the trip, Shanti.”

  “Once I know you’re all right, I will.”

  After disconnecting Vari took a few moments to relax. She breathed deeply while focusing on each major muscle group, one at a time. Between Bean, Pandora, and Shanti she wasn’t sure which had stirred up the worst memories. When she was as relaxed as she thought she was going to get, she opened her eyes.

  “If I manage by some miracle to fall asleep, please wake me up before the Bihotza is due.”

  “I do hope you can sleep,” Pandora said worriedly. “And I will awaken you. You needn’t worry about that.”

  “Thanks Pandora.” Vari put her headphones on, started the music, and laid back on the bed to wait.

  Sixteen years earlier…

  Vari sat in a corner of the couch, her legs drawn up, chin resting on her knees, making herself as small as possible. Months had passed since she’d seen her first shadow person, though it seemed much longer to her. They were everywhere now. Inside the house, outside the house, no matter where she went or what she did they were always there.

  There were so many of them now that she couldn’t move from one place to another without walking through them because they refused to move out of the way. She hated doing that, hated the sensation of dry iciness against her skin. She tried to stay in one place all the time now, never moving unless she had to just so she didn’t have to touch them.

  Even worse than the way they felt was the constant noise they made. They were always talking, always trying to get her attention, dozens and dozens of them all at the same time. Most wanted her to go find people she didn’t know and tell them things she didn’t understand. Others wanted her to do things that simply weren’t possible for a child of five. She’d tried explaining that at first, but it didn’t help so she gave up.

  Worst of all were the screamers, the ones who got angry because she didn’t do what they wanted. Sometimes they’d get so mad that they’d stand over her bed at night and scream at her for hours while she hid under the covers. She would have done whatever they wanted to make them stop, but she just didn’t know how.

  Vari looked toward the doorway between the kitchen and the living room where Mom and Ata stood. She could barely see them because there were so many shadow people in the way, but she didn’t need to see them to know they were sad. Or that it was because of her.

  Everyone had tried to help. Aunt Lari and the Uncle Dracons. Aunt Hope and the Uncle Bearens. Aunt Glory and the Uncle Tigrens. Doc, Dr. Honey, even Nica who was just a kid herself. But no one knew how to make the shadow people go away.

  “You have to pretend you can’t see them.”

  Vari stiffened. She turned her head one way, then the other. She looked at the shadow people, but none of them were close to her at the moment. She opened her mouth, but the voice spoke before she had a chance.

  “Don’t speak to me out loud. Think to me.”

  Vari had never done that before but she knew her parents did it all the time. “Who are you?” she asked tentatively.

  “My name is Pandora.” Vari liked the voice. It sounded almost like singing in her mind.

  “How come I can’t see you, Pandora?”

  “I’ll explain that later. What do you call those people that no one else can see?”

  “Shadow people. I know they’re dead. I figured that part out. But I don’t like to think about that.”

  “I don’t blame you. Do you want the shadow people to go away?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then don’t look at them, don’t talk to them, and don’t listen to them.”

  “How will that make them go away?” Vari asked doubtfully.

  “There are very few people who can see shadow people, Vari, and most of those can only see some shadow people. You can see ALL shadow people, and that’s very rare. When the shadow people find someone like you, they all come running.

  “If you want them to go away you have to pretend you can’t see or hear them anymore and you can never talk to them for any reason. After a while they’ll give up and go back to where they came from. But you have to pretend really good and you can’t forget once you start. Can you do that?”

  “I think so. But why can’t I see you? You’re not a shadow person too, are you?”

  “Why would you think that?” Pandora squeaked.

  “Because I can’t see you and I can’t hear your thoughts. Just like the shadow people.”

  “I see,” Pandora said. “Those are very good reasons and you’re very clever to think of them. But I’m not a shadow person. The Eternal Pack sent me here to be your friend, and to help you. But if the shadow people see me, they’ll know we’re connected and they might never go away.”

  Vari never talked to the shadow people anymore, but she did look at them and sometimes she reacted to things they said. Especially the screamers. She shivered just thinking about them.

  This was the first time anyone had told her how to make the shadow people go away, so she really wanted to believe it would work. She liked that Pandora was supposed to be her friend, and she especially liked that she couldn’t hear her thoughts. Just the words she sent to her.

  “How do I stop hearing them, Pandora?”

  “I’m not sure,” Pandora replied. “Maybe you can distract yourself with something.” Vari thought about that for a minute. Then she got an idea.r />
  “Ata, Mom,” she called, looking toward the doorway as though she could see her parents and not the shadow people between them.

  “Yes?” Faron asked, crossing the room with Saige beside him.

  “What are those things called that Nica puts in her ears to hear music?”

  “Headphones,” Saige answered.

  “Do I have enough allowance saved up to buy one?”

  “I’m sure you do,” Ata said. “Why do you want headphones?”

  Vari frowned as she took a few moments to think about her answer. “I can close my eyes, and close my mouth, but not my ears,” she whispered, hoping they’d understand what she meant.

  Saige’s eyes widened. “We’ll get you a hand terminal and headphones today, honey. Would you like to borrow mine for now?”

  “Yes please, Mom.”

  Saige removed her hand terminal from its holster at her waist, opened a small compartment in the base and removed a pair of wireless headphones. “Would you like to hear a story or do you want to listen to music?”

  “Story please.”

  Saige nodded, then began to tap on the screen. She turned it around so Vari could see it, grateful that her eldest daughter already knew how to read. Vari looked at the screen, expecting to see a list of books, but instead she saw just one line.

  We can’t talk about this, right?

  She looked up at her mother and nodded solemnly. Saige returned the nod, tapped on the screen again, and handed the device to Vari while explaining how to select books from the Jasani Public Library to listen to. Vari put the headphones on, picked a story, and started the device.

  Chapter 3

  By the time Vari’s hand terminal indicated an incoming message two hours and twenty minutes later she was fighting to remain conscious. She lifted the hand terminal from her lap and peered at the screen, but the black spots in front of her eyes made reading impossible.

  “Pandora, can you read this?” She kept her voice to a whisper since talking out loud increased the pain.

  Pandora leaned over from her perch on Vari’s shoulder so she could see the screen. “It’s from the Bihotza and says they’re ready to transport on return signal.”

  “Finally,” she whispered. Without moving her head any more than absolutely necessary, she reached down for the luggage straps and slipped them over her shoulder. After double checking to be sure she had both straps, she took a moment to breathe through the additional pain those simple actions caused. She spent a few tense moments fumbling with the switch on her disrupter bracelet before it finally clicked, letting her know she’d managed to turn it off. Then she clenched her jaw tightly against the pain she knew was coming and stood up.

  She’d made the mistake of transporting while sitting down once before, only to arrive at her destination in a sitting position with nothing to support her. The explosion of pain in her head caused by standing up was preferable to the humiliation of falling on her ass the moment she arrived on the Bihotza.

  She breathed through the worst of the pain, then carefully typed a one word response. She couldn’t actually see clearly enough to read it, but it would have to do. “Ready Pandora?”

  “Yes, I’m ready,” Pandora replied, grabbing on to Vari’s t-shirt with both hands before making herself invisible. Vari had just enough time after pressing Send to slip her hand terminal into a pocket before the disorienting sensation of transportation engulfed her.

  Darkness swirled around her, then bright lights popped and flashed before burning into her skull. She blinked several times, fighting the familiar nausea and dizziness caused by transportation. The nausea was, at least, a diversion from the pain, albeit an unpleasant one.

  She felt more than saw Declan, Jaydan, and Kaidan Dracon-Bat standing side by side several yards away from her, which was nearly as disorienting as being transported. She caught a snippet of their thoughts along with an image of herself and her sisters when they were about three years old, and wondered if she should be insulted or amused. Before she could decide, the world around her faded to black.

  ***

  Declan stared in confusion at the statuesque (if slightly rumpled) young woman who now stood in the center of the Bihotza’s transport chamber. She had light green eyes dotted with flecks of gold, dark blue hair pulled back in a loose ponytail, and a body that…well…even dressed in an oversized top and loose pants it was quite clear that she was most definitely not the child they’d been expecting.

  Before he had time to do more than wonder who the woman was, and why she’d transported onto the Bihotza in place of young Lady Varia Lobo, her eyes rolled up into her head and she began to collapse where she stood.

  Without conscious thought Declan used Air magic to leap forward in a blur of motion, barely catching her before she hit the floor. Jay and Kai moved in the same instant, Jay catching the bags she’d been holding and setting them down. Then he and Kai stepped as close to the woman in Declan’s arms as they could get without actually touching her.

  “Is this her?” Kai whispered. “Lady Varia?”

  “Her coloring certainly suggests that it is,” Jay said, reaching up to brush a few of the silky strands of dark blue hair that had escaped her ponytail with his fingertips.

  “Why is she unconscious?” Kai wondered.

  “I don’t know,” Declan replied. “I see no obvious signs of injury. It may just be a bad reaction to being transported, but I think we should take her to the infirmary to be sure.” Jay nodded his agreement even though Declan had already turned toward the door. He followed in Declan’s wake while Kai paused for her bags before hurrying to catch up.

  Declan moved as fast as he dared, wondering all the while why his heart was racing. And why, when he looked down at the limp, unconscious woman in his arms, a wave of nearly overwhelming emotion engulfed him. Fear. Wonder. Hope.

  He gave himself a quick mental shake. If he’d had a certain physical reaction…namely the abrupt and unmistakable appearance of his mating fangs…to go along with the visceral one he was experiencing, he’d have understood. But that was most definitely not the case.

  Rather than wait for the elevator, Jay moved ahead of him and opened the stairwell door. Declan shifted the woman so that her head was against his shoulder and therefore safe from the stair railings. He ground his teeth together in an effort to resist the nearly overwhelming and completely unseemly urge to press his lips to her forehead.

  Declan used Air to climb three levels in much less time than it would have taken the elevator. Barely one minute after Lady Varia Lobo’s arrival on the Bihotza, Declan was placing her on a medi-cot in the infirmary while Jay went looking for Dr. Niri Jula, their ship’s physician.

  Dr. Jula arrived within moments and examined the unconscious woman for signs of trauma or illness, finding none. “What happened to her?” she asked while activating the medi-cots built in sensors to check her vital signs.

  “We transported her from a passenger liner, and she lost consciousness a few seconds after arriving,” Declan said. “I’m afraid that’s all we know.”

  Dr. Jula picked up Vari’s left hand and gently pressed it against an ID scanner. A moment later the vid terminal beside the medi-cot displayed a Classified Data log-in screen. Please enter Level 21-B Medical Secured Access Code and submit biometric verification.

  Dr. Jula frowned as she turned toward the Dracon-Bats who now stood shoulder to shoulder at the foot of the medi-cot.

  “Who is she?”

  Declan hesitated a fraction of a second, but he no longer had any real doubts as to the woman’s identity. “Lady Varia Lobo, eldest daughter of the Prime Guardians to the Dracon Princes.”

  Dr. Jula’s eyes widened, but she made no comment. She turned back to the terminal, placed her thumb on the biometric scanner, and typed in her clearance code. A moment later an initial summary of Vari’s medical records appeared on the screen.

  Declan, Jay, and Kai were already staring at the screen when the file appear
ed and they all looked away as quickly as they could. Still, that one brief look was all it took for every word of the summary to be imprinted on their minds. They had a much higher security clearance than Dr. Jula, and they hadn’t looked deliberately, but they still felt as though they’d just violated Lady Varia’s privacy.

  Dr. Jula read through the summary, then spent a few minutes scrolling through the file. They waited patiently without looking at the screen again, but Declan already had a few questions he very much wanted to ask based on the information he’d seen. When Dr. Jula turned to look at her newest patient she looked surprised and concerned.

  “She’s a Class 6 Omni telepath,” she said in a hushed voice that caused the muscles in the back of Declan’s neck to tighten.

  “We’re not familiar with telepathic classifications,” he said, glad for the opportunity to get an answer to his first and most pressing question after what he’d seen on the summary. Why it mattered so much to him wasn’t something he wanted to think about at the moment.

  “Telepaths are broken down into six strength classifications and three types,” Dr. Jula explained. “Class 6 is reserved for the most powerful of telepaths, of which there are very few. A Uni type telepath is limited to picking up thoughts from their own species, which is the most common type by far. A Peri type can pick up thoughts from their own species and one or more closely related species. An Omni type telepath can pick up thoughts from all sentient beings, regardless of species.

  Fewer than one in ten billion sentients are rated Class 6 Omni, and most of them go insane or die before they reach adulthood. Lady Varia is one of the lucky few for whom psionic jammers actually work, though she requires two of them at once for the best results.”

  “What is a psionic jammer?” Jay asked.

  “Are you familiar with the term white noise?”

  “It is, in short, a noise containing many frequencies with equal intensities which serves to mute or drown out other sounds.”

  “That’s right,” Dr. Jula said. “A psionic jammer operates on the same principal, emitting a form of white noise which disrupts telepathic reception. It only works for a handful of telepaths, unfortunately.”