Vari's Choices

by Laura Jo Phillips

  “If her psionic jammers malfunctioned while she was on a crowded passenger liner, would that explain her current state?” Jay asked.

  Dr. Jula frowned, her concern deepening. “Indeed it would. Is that what happened?”

  “We aren’t certain, but it’s beginning to look that way,” Declan replied. “Would that be dangerous for her?”

  “Given the strength of her telepathy, yes,” Dr. Jula replied, turning toward the control screen behind her. “Extremely dangerous, in fact.”

  “That would certainly explain why her fathers were so intent on getting her off the Leaper as quickly as possible,” Kai said.

  “Shield your thoughts,” Declan said to his brothers even as he shielded his own.

  Dr. Jula finished entering data into the control panel, then activated the med scanner. They watched as it lowered itself from the ceiling to a position just a few inches above Vari’s head, then began to pass slowly over her body. Just as the scanner reached her knees, her eyes fluttered open. A few moments later she sat up, causing the scanner to safely retract to the ceiling.

  ***

  Before she even opened her eyes Vari knew she was in the same room with the Dracon-Bats. She wasn’t sure how she knew since she couldn’t hear their thoughts, but she had no doubt that she was right. She’d expected to be nervous, and she was. What she hadn’t expected was the intense longing for them that rose fast and sharp within her. She took a few moments to compose herself, pushing her emotions back until she was satisfied she had them fully under control. Only then did she open her eyes.

  For the third time in her life she found herself looking at the three men chosen by chance, or destiny, or fate, to be her eternal soulmates. Soulmates she would never be able to claim as her own.

  Even though she’d never expected it to happen, she’d spent years trying to imagine what this moment would be like. How it would feel to be in the same room with them. To speak to them for the first time. To hear them speak to her.

  Of all the scenarios she’d dreamt of, not one had come close to the reality of waking up on a medi-cot with her head feeling like it was about to shatter into a million pieces, no makeup, dressed in a pair of faded, baggy lounge pants and a shapeless tee shirt with her hair in a messy ponytail.

  Worst of all, she was undeniably aroused just from their scent, an indescribable blend of fresh air, aromatic woods, and male that sent a tremor through her body. She’d never been aroused before, but the sudden wet heat between her legs and the hardening of her nipples, combined with the pebbling of her skin as she continued to breathe them deep into her lungs weren’t exactly difficult to identify.

  While she looked her absolute worst, they looked entirely too good. So good that for one heart stopping moment she wanted nothing more than to climb off the medi-cot and rub herself against them. The thought stunned her, as did the realization that her eyes were roaming over their tall, powerful bodies.

  They shared some features with the Dracon Princes, she noted. The tall, broad chested, heavily muscled bodies; the warm, cinnamon tinted skin; the bold planes and angles of their faces; the black hair and stern, slashing eyes. But there were differences, too.

  Over seven feet tall, they were taller than the princes by a couple of inches, which she couldn’t help but like since she topped six feet herself. Their eyes appeared to be black in all the images she’d seen of them, but under the bright lights of the infirmary she could see that they were the deep, rich brown of bittersweet chocolate. Their hair was long, though she couldn’t be certain how long since they wore it in thick, complicated plaits that hung down to the middle of their backs save for a thin braid at their left temples. They wore colored beads in that braid to identify themselves. This was necessary because, unlike most Clan male-sets, the identifying trait between them was an underlying tint of color in their otherwise coal black hair which wasn’t easily discernible.

  Declan’s hair had a subtle blue sheen, so he wore blue beads in his braid. Jaydan’s had a reddish tint, so his beads were red. And Kai’s hair had the faintest touch of golden brown, so he wore brown colored beads. Vari barely even noticed the beads since she didn’t need them to tell the three men apart.

  She remembered the first time she’d seen them when she was three, but it was a faint and fuzzy memory. The second time she’d seen them she was eleven, and she remembered that quite clearly. Especially the moment when, watching them walk away from her hiding place in Aunt Lari’s garden, she’d realized three things with perfect clarity.

  The first was that they were meant to be hers when she grew up. The second was that she had a powerful emotional attachment to them that she didn’t understand. The third, that she could never, ever let them know the first two things.

  As she pushed herself upright on the medi-cot, she knew that all three of those things were even truer now than they’d been ten years earlier. That knowledge effectively cooled her ardor several degrees, replacing it with a disappointment so deep she felt like crying. She hadn’t realized until that moment just how much she’d been hoping that her eleven year old self had been mistaken.

  Needing another moment or two to collect herself, she decided to address the person she sensed standing beside the medi-cot first. She turned her head slowly and carefully until she could see the woman, noting absently that she was Flaridian. When she saw the name tag pinned to the woman’s shirt, she smiled.

  “Kar kmashi, Dr. Jula,” she said, pressing her palms together and bowing her head, ignoring the pain it caused. A student of many cultures, she knew how important it was to observe and respect the rituals of other races and species, especially upon first meeting.

  Dr. Jula’s brows rose in surprise before she pressed her palms together and returned the traditional Flaridian greeting. “Kar kmashi, Lady Varia. You know of my people.”

  “Shanti Jula is one of my dearest friends. Are you related?”

  “She’s my brother’s eldest daughter,” Dr. Jula replied with a wistful smile. “I haven’t seen her in a very long time. Is she well?”

  “I’m happy to say that I spoke to her just a couple of hours ago and yes, she is very well,” Vari replied, raising her fingers to her temples and pressing hard. “In fact, she’s on the ship I just transported from. We can speak later, if you like.”

  “I’d like that very much, Lady Varia.”

  Vari smiled again, then turned to face the Dracon-Bats. It was time to get this over with. She opened her mouth, then closed it so hard her teeth clicked together.

  “Pandora?” she called silently, her eyes darting around the room.

  “I’m here, Vari,” Pandora said immediately. “I didn’t mean to scare you but I wasn’t sure if I should show myself to them.”

  Vari felt Pandora land lightly on her shoulder and relaxed. “We’re probably going to be on this ship for a couple of weeks. Since it’s a Jasani ship I see no reason you shouldn’t reveal yourself. It’s up to you, of course.”

  “Very well,” Pandora said with an air of reluctance.

  Vari knew from the Dracon-Bats’ faces that Pandora had revealed herself, though there was no telling what form she’d taken. Knowing Pandora it could have been just about anything. Since turning her head to look at her own shoulder would’ve been much too painful at the moment, she just introduced them. It wasn’t like she could control Pandora’s appearance anyway.

  “Pandora, these are the Commanders of the Bihotza, Declan, Jaydan, and Kaidan Dracon-Bat.” As Vari spoke she gestured to each man so that Pandora would know which was which. “Commanders, this is my friend and companion, Pandora.”

  ***

  Declan studied Vari as she spoke with Dr. Jula, missing neither the lines of strain on her forehead, the faint trembling in her hands, nor the disappointment in her eyes. He frowned, wondering what she was disappointed about.

  His curiosity on that subject vanished in the wake of the surprise he felt when she introduced them to the tiny blonde woman who su
ddenly appeared on her shoulder. Individually. By name.

  How had she known which of them was which? Of course, she had met them before, he reminded himself. She’d been quite young, but perhaps she had a very good memory. It was also possible that, knowing the Bihotza would be taking her from the Leaper, she’d looked them up on her hand terminal and taken note of their bead colors. That made much more sense.

  Declan suddenly realized everyone was waiting for him to speak. “We are honored to meet you Lady Varia, and you as well, Pandora. Welcome to the Bihotza.”

  “Thank you, Commander,” Vari said. “I assume I lost consciousness?”

  “Yes, you did,” Declan replied. “Immediately after transporting.”

  “I’m sorry to have caused so much trouble,” she said, not quite looking directly at any of them now, even though she faced them. “I’m not sure what happened.”

  Her cheeks flushed pink, telling Declan that what she’d just said had not been the truth. Since her fathers hadn’t mentioned why she needed to leave the Leaper, and since her med file was classified, he concluded that her lie was intended to hide her telepathy. Admirable, considering her current state, but unnecessary.

  “Dr. Jula has indicated to us that you’re an unusually strong telepath.”

  Vari’s eyes narrowed and darkened, causing the gold flecks to stand out. She turned her head to face the doctor again, moving more slowly this time, giving him the impression that she was in much more pain than he’d realized, though she gave no other sign of it.

  She looked at the vid screen which still displayed her med file, then to the open doorway. Anyone looking in through the door would be able to see the screen. “Dr. Jula, if you don’t mind, I’d appreciate it if you’d take my file off display when you’re not actively viewing it.” No one in the room missed her tension.

  “Of course I don’t mind,” Dr. Jula replied, reaching over to tap the vid screen, closing the file.

  “Hari kna,” Vari said, touching the center of her forehead lightly with her ring finger.

  “You’re welcome,” Dr. Jula said, returning the gesture with another smile. Vari’s shield was weak enough that she could clearly hear that Dr. Jula was not offended, and was glad of it. She turned back toward the Dracon-Bats while still managing to avoid looking directly at any of them.

  “I appreciate your help today,” she said, her fingers going to her temples again. She pressed hard for just a moment, then lowered her hands. “I know it was on short notice, and certainly very inconvenient for you. I wouldn’t have resorted to such an extreme measure had I any other choice.”

  “We’re on our way to Jasan anyway, and are glad to be of help,” Declan said, watching her closely.

  She took a long, deep breath and straightened her shoulders as though bracing herself, then lifted her eyes to meet his. After three of his heartbeats (he counted them), she shifted her gaze to Jay, and then to Kai for the same exact length of time.

  “The closer I am to people, the more strongly I hear their thoughts,” she said, frowning as she returned her gaze to Declan. “But I’m getting nothing from you three. You must be shielding yourselves.”

  She hadn’t asked a question, Declan noted, wondering if it had been deliberate. Her brows had drawn together, causing two tiny lines to appear between them. He had a strong urge to reach out and smooth the lines away with a fingertip. An urge which took a lot more effort to resist than he ever would have expected.

  “Yes, Lady Varia, we are shielding ourselves,” he said after perhaps too long of a pause. “We hoped it would help you, though it doesn’t appear to be.”

  “Oh, it’s helping,” she assured him. “Quite a bit, in fact. And please call me Vari. I prefer it.”

  “As you wish, Vari,” Declan said. “Is there anything else we can do to help you? You’re obviously still in a great deal of distress.”

  “Not nearly as much as before,” she said. “If I hadn’t just spent several hours trying to block fifteen thousand people, I’d be doing better than I am, though admittedly not by much. My shield has never been very strong and at the moment it’s nearly non-existent.”

  “If you like, we can attempt to feed you enough power to strengthen your shield.” Declan felt his brothers’ shock at his words. He didn’t blame them since he was shocked at himself. It was a ludicrous idea. The only person a male-set could share power with other than each other was their berezi. But he did not withdraw the offer.

  “Really?” she asked, her brows rising in surprise.

  “I can’t promise it’ll work, but we can try,” he replied, careful to give no sign of his inner turmoil. “With your permission?”

  She stared at him for a long moment, then said, “Yes, of course.”

  He wondered about her hesitation, then set the question aside for the moment. After connecting with his brothers, Declan cautiously sent a thin thread of power toward Vari, carefully gauging her reaction for any hint of increased distress. When she had no apparent adverse reactions, he sent a little more, then a bit more still. As surprised as he was to see her shoulders relax and the lines in her forehead smooth out, it paled in comparison to the shock he felt at his own reaction. For the first time in more than two hundred years arousal heated his blood and hardened his cock.

  “Better?” he asked Vari in a strangled voice that, luckily, she didn’t seem to notice.

  “Very much so. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” Declan said, more grateful than ever for the years he and his brothers had spent traveling the stars as political ambassadors and special envoys. It was that experience that allowed him to maintain his composure despite having just been rocked to his very foundation.

  He glanced at his brothers and saw that, other than looking a little pale, they displayed no outward reaction either. He felt their emotions though, and knew that they’d also felt something when their combined power forged a connection between them and Vari.

  “Lady Varia, your records indicate that you use psionic jammers,” Dr. Jula said. “Is that not correct?”

  “It’s correct, Dr. Jula, but they ceased to function this morning. I have no idea why.”

  “Do they malfunction often?” Jay asked.

  Vari frowned. His voice sounded…odd. And he looked a little pale. She glanced quickly at Kai, and then Declan before returning her gaze to Jay. Either they were all pale, or she was imagining things. “They’ve never malfunctioned before,” she replied. “Not once. I use two at a time, and I carry two pair of backups. They aren’t working either.”

  “If you don’t mind, I’d like to examine one,” Jay said. “If I can’t fix it, I might be able to determine why it no longer functions.”

  Declan caught her quick look at them, and her frown, and immediately strengthened his own shield. He had no idea what was happening, but whatever it was, he intended to keep it to himself until he had a chance to speak with his brothers.

  Satisfied that his shield was as strong as he could make it, he noticed that, once again, Vari seemed to hesitate before reaching up to remove the sapphire earrings she wore. Declan didn’t think her hesitations had anything to do with trust, or lack of it. Something told him that Varia Lobo was simply a woman who thought carefully before making decisions.

  “Each earring is a self-contained jammer,” she said, dropping the earrings into Jay’s proffered palm. “Do you really think you might be able to fix them?”

  “I’ve never seen a jammer before and don’t know how they work, so I don’t know if I can fix them or not. I will certainly try.”

  Vari turned back to the doctor, surprised at how easy it was to move now that her head no longer felt as though it were three times its normal weight and ready to explode if she blinked too hard. “I appreciate your aid, Dr. Jula, but I see no reason to inconvenience you further.”

  “How’s your headache?”

  “Fading fast.”

  Dr. Jula gestured toward the vid screen behind her which
now displayed a three dimensional image of the inside of Vari’s head taken by the med scanner. “There’s no sign of damage, and your vitals are normal and steady now. If your headache returns, or if you have any other problems, please let me know.”

  “I will, Doctor,” Vari said, slowly swinging her legs around so they hung over the side of the medi-cot before lowering herself to her feet. She felt a bit light headed so she moved more gingerly than usual.

  Once she was standing on her own and satisfied that she wasn’t about to do anything embarrassing, like pass out again, she pressed her palms together and bowed her head. “Hari kna, Dr. Jula, for your time and assistance.”

  “Rokna li, Lady Vari,” Dr. Jula replied. “I very much look forward to speaking with you about Shanti.”

  “As do I,” Vari said, then turned to look up at the Dracon-Bats. She was a little startled to find them standing side by side just a few feet away, staring down at her intently.

  “Is something the matter?”

  Declan blinked and shook his head. He had, in fact, been trying to remember if the sexual feelings he and his brothers had experienced before reaching full maturity had been the same as what he was experiencing now. Though his memory was excellent, it was much more difficult to remember a sensation than it was to remember an event, so he couldn’t be sure. The only thing he knew for certain was that his reaction was entirely inappropriate since she was not their berezi.

  “No, of course not,” he said after clearing his throat. “I imagine you’d like to rest.”

  “I would, yes.”

  “We’ll escort you to the room we’ve had prepared for you.”

  “All right.” She glanced around in search of her bags. “Oh, I’ll take those,” she said when she saw that Kai was holding them.

  “I’ve got them,” he said. She opened her mouth, remembered these were Clan Jasani males, closed it and nodded. She preferred to pick battles she had at least some chance of winning, and this wasn’t one of them.