Vari's Choices

by Laura Jo Phillips

  “I can’t think of a single good reason for anyone to take that much risk just to keep you from knowing about the Doftles. Jasan hasn’t been keeping the existence of the Doftles a secret. Half the galaxy already knows about them.”

  Jay grinned and she arched a brow at him. “I just like the way your mind works,” he explained. “And I agree. It makes no sense.”

  “Good, that makes me feel better. So now that I’ve blown my own theory to bits, I don’t know what to think other than it’s just a mistake.” Vari closed her eyes and shook her head. “Rajne.”

  “What is it?” Jay asked.

  "I just thought of something that I wish I hadn't. And if you guys don’t know this, the mistake theory is going to take a hit, too.”

  “That sounds bad,” Declan said.

  “It is,” she said. “It’s also something you need to know before you get anywhere near a Doftle." She looked at them, wishing she didn’t have to do this. “They’ve found a way to make Controllers work in Clan males.” They looked at her in abject shock which, she thought, was better than a blood rage.

  “Are you certain of this?” Jay asked.

  “Yes, of course,” she replied, trying not to be insulted.

  “I don’t doubt you, Vari,” he said. “I’m just stunned.”

  “I understand,” Vari said. “I’m stunned too, but because you weren’t warned about this. No matter why those reports are so heavily redacted, that’s information that every male-set needs.”

  “I agree, that’s a bad sign,” Declan said. “But it’s not something we can do anything about right now.”

  Vari sighed, but she couldn’t argue the point, either. Her eyes suddenly widened. “I can’t believe I only just thought of this, but how are we supposed to get close enough to the Leaper to transport onto her without the Doftles knowing about it?”

  “That’s not going to be a problem,” Declan said. Something in his tone caused Vari to look him quizzically. “As I mentioned before, there is more to the Bihotza than is commonly known.”

  “Now I understand why Uncle Garen said the Bihotza was the best ship to go after the Leaper. You have Blind Sight, don’t you?”

  “Yes, we do,” Declan replied. “Among other things.”

  “Such as?” she asked. Declan hesitated. “Do I need to show you my security credentials?”

  “Of course not,” Declan said with a little smile. “We trust you, and will tell you what you want to know. It’s just that now is not the time for that discussion. You’ve had a long and difficult day, it’s very late, and you need your rest for tomorrow.”

  “I know, but I think I should read one or two of those reports you guys got," she said. "Just to be safe."

  "I have a better idea," Jay said. "I'll send a message to Prince Garen along with the reports, and tell him our concerns. If he feels they’re normal considering how distant we usually are, fine. Otherwise, he'll know best how to proceed."

  "Excellent solution, Jay," Vari said with a smile which was interrupted by a jaw cracking yawn.

  "You need to sleep now, Vari," Declan said.

  “I know, you’re right. I just don’t think I’ll be able to now. Maybe I need to be tucked in.”

  Declan and Jay chuckled, but Kai was taking her cup from her hand before she could blink. Then he had her in his arms and she smiled. As it turned out, they didn’t need to use Water magic to help her sleep after all.

  Five years earlier…

  Vari sat on the porch of the little house she’d spent the past twelve years living in, surprised to find how much she was enjoying the peace and quiet that surrounded her. Ever since she’d gotten the psionic jammers a few weeks earlier, her life had gone from quiet, calm, and predictable to what felt to her like a whirlwind of activity. There were so many things to see, so many places to go, so much to do that it left her head spinning more often than not.

  The first thing she’d done was throw a few things in a bag and head down to the house her family lived in. She wanted to sleep in her old room, something she’d dreamt of since she was four years old. It hadn’t gone exactly as she’d dreamt it would, though.

  She was so used to living alone that just being in the same house with so many other people made her uncomfortable. And it was so noisy. Luckily her parents had understood when she’d told them it might take her a while to ease into moving back down to the house.

  “What are you thinking about so seriously?” Pandora asked, landing lightly on the railing in front of her.

  “Everyone’s going back to school in a couple of weeks,” Vari said. “I’ve always dreaded that before, and I always wanted to go with them. That’s not possible now, though. Not unless I want to go back to tenth year studies.”

  “Do you know what you want to do?”

  “No, I don’t,” Vari said. “That’s what I’ve been sitting here thinking about. So far I’ve considered enrolling in medical school, or going to the ICARUS Academy.”

  “Why would you go to medical school?” Pandora asked. “You’re already a doctor.”

  “Of xeno-psychology,” Vari said. “Maybe I should study human psychology, or psychic abilities, or become a scientific researcher.”

  “It doesn’t sound like you have much interest in any of those things.”

  “I don’t,” Vari said, shrugging. “That’s my problem. The more I think on it though, the more I’m leaning toward ICARUS. Or maybe art school. That might be fun.”

  “Art school?” Pandora asked in surprise. “I don’t recall you ever paying much attention to art. Either creating it, or looking at it.”

  “That’s because I never have. There are so many options now, Pandora. I don’t want to miss something just because I didn’t think of it.”

  “I don’t understand any of this, Vari. I thought you were going to work for the Office of Special Intelligence.”

  “Uncle Garen and Uncle Jackson both said I have to wait until I’m eighteen. They won’t even consider letting me start sooner even though I’ve already completed all the training courses they wanted me to take.”

  “Why not?” Pandora asked. “It’s not like you’ll be engaging in battle or anything. You’ll just be sitting in restaurants or auditoriums and the like so you can listen to specific people’s thoughts. Right?”

  “That’s right. But even the Dads agree with them so that’s that. Which is why I’m sitting here trying to decide how to kill the next two years. All I know for certain is that I am not spending it on this hill. I’ve spent enough of my life here. I want to get out and see a little bit of the galaxy.”

  “That sounds nice to me, too,” Pandora admitted.

  “Good, then you can help me decide what to do next. Med school, art school, or ICARUS?”

  Pandora’s eyes suddenly took on an unfocused, blank look that Vari recognized. Her stomach tightened nervously, but she remained still and silent while she waited for Pandora to come back to her. It didn’t take long. It never did.

  Pandora blinked a few times, then grimaced. That was a bad sign. “Let’s have it.”

  “Crossroad.”

  “Damn,” Vari muttered irritably. “Why do they keep doing this to me, Pandora? I don’t get it. Is this some sort of game? Why don’t they just tell me what I’m supposed to do next and be done with it?”

  Pandora looked at her in surprise. “I can’t believe you still don’t understand this.”

  “Understand what?”

  “Crossroads.”

  “Since neither you nor anyone else has ever explained them to me, I don’t know why you’re so surprised. Why don’t you enlighten me?”

  “Are you sure I never explained this?” Pandora asked.

  “Yeah, I’m sure,” Vari replied, rolling her eyes.

  “No need to be rude,” Pandora said with a huff. Vari stared at her. Pandora crossed her arms and put her nose in the air. “I’d think that someone as smart as you’re supposed to be would’ve figured it out by now al
l on her own.”

  “Pandora,” Vari warned.

  “Since you haven’t, seems to me you should be nicer to the one person who can explain it to you.”

  Vari stared at her for a long moment. “In that case, I guess we’ll all be stuck here on this crossroad since I have no intention of making a choice until I know whatever it is you never bothered to tell me. Maybe you should go explain that to the Eternal Pack.”

  Vari stood up but before she had a chance to turn around Pandora stopped her. “All right, all right, I’ll tell you,” she said quickly.

  Vari studied Pandora for a long moment. She looked pale, which made Vari feel bad. “I’m sorry, Pandora. I’d never really do something like that to you. I promise.”

  “I’m sorry too, Vari. Please sit back down and I’ll tell you what I know.” Vari did as asked and waited while Pandora collected her thoughts.

  “The Eternal Pack doesn’t know what your destiny is, exactly, but they have a fairly good idea of what’ll happen if you don’t meet it. They’re not omnipotent, Vari. The reason you must make decisions at crossroads is that you are the only one who can guide you to your destiny. Everything else is protection.”

  “Protection?”

  “The Eternal Pack, through and with me, helps you to avoid the pitfalls and traps Chaos continually throws in your way. We do what we can to keep you safe while at the same time trying not to alter that which is meant to be.”

  “Were the shadow people one of those traps?”

  “Yes,” Pandora replied simply. Vari nodded her understanding, then took a few minutes to think about what Pandora had just told her.

  “I thought the Eternal Pack controlled my destiny. And my life.”

  “No, Vari,” Pandora said, appalled. “That kind of power isn’t possible. I’m so sorry you ever thought that.”

  “It’s okay, Pandora, it’s not like I told you. I’d like to know the truth now, please.”

  “Of course,” Pandora said. “Each time you reach a crossroad and make a choice, you set possibilities into motion. It’s those possibilities that the Eternal Pack can see, some more clearly than others. That’s how they determine what you may need to learn in order to be prepared for what may be coming. But they never try to lead you one way or another because if you’re not the one who makes the choices, you’ll never end up where you’re meant to be.”

  “So they know the destination, but have no idea how I’m supposed to get there. Is that right?”

  “For the most part, yes.”

  “And right now I need to make a choice as to what I’ll do for the next two years.”

  “Yes, you do, and I can’t help you. It has to be your decision.”

  “This is such an enormous relief to me, Pandora,” Vari said. “I thought that I had no choice at all in my own life. That I was like a…I don’t know… a machine or something. I thought the crossroads were tests.”

  “I’m so sorry, Vari,” Pandora said, tears in her eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me this? I’d have explained it a long time ago, I promise.”

  “Remember the argument we got into when I accused the Eternal Pack of changing me? Of making me smarter and making me telepathic?”

  “Yes, of course I remember. But Princess Lariah told you it wasn't true.”

  “Yes, she did,” Vari agreed. “But when we argued you got angry and left. You were gone that whole day and night. I thought you were never coming back and it scared me. So I decided it’d be best not to share my opinions about the Eternal Pack with you again.”

  “I didn’t go anywhere, Vari,” Pandora admitted miserably. “I was right here the whole time, I just stayed invisible. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be,” Vari said. “You were right, and I was wrong, and it’s all in the past now anyway. I’m just really grateful right now. It helps a lot to know that I’m an actual participant in my own life.”

  “Vari, you’re more than a participant,” Pandora said. “No one is going to force you to do anything. Not me, not the Eternal Pack. No one. If you get up right now and go hop on a ship to the ends of the galaxy, nobody is going to stop you.”

  “But if I do that, then the Thousand Worlds will die.”

  “That doesn’t change the fact that you control your life,” Pandora insisted. “And your destiny.”

  Vari frowned as she thought about what Pandora was trying to tell her. When it finally sank in, she felt more than a little ashamed of herself. “I guess that means I need to stop whining about my destiny, and the Eternal Pack’s interference in my life, and blaming everyone around me for things they have nothing to do with. It’s time for me to accept the fact that my life and what I choose to make of it is my responsibility. Just as it is for every other living being.” Pandora smiled at her, a light of unmistakable pride in her eyes. “Thank you, my friend.”

  Pandora dipped her head in a silent nod. Vari sat for a few moments, letting her new understanding settle into her. She compiled a list in her mind of all the people she owed apologies to, starting with the Eternal Pack, her parents, and her sisters. While she was doing that, the answer to her earlier question popped into her mind.

  “I just decided,” she said, a feeling of rightness washing through her as she spoke. “I’m going to enroll in the ICARUS Academy Psy Program.”

  “May I ask why?”

  “I don’t really know why,” Vari said with a shrug. “I just feel like it’s the right thing to do. Do you object?”

  “Not in the least,” Pandora said, her eyes narrowing thoughtfully. “I feel as though it’s the right thing to do as well.”

  “Then I guess I better get busy,” Vari said, reaching for her hand terminal.

  “Busy with what?” Pandora asked, perplexed.

  “With finding out how to get enrolled as fast as possible. Who should I speak with do you think?”

  “If you ask your parents, they’ll just ask the Princes, so you might as well go straight to the top and save them the trouble.”

  “Excellent advice, Pandora, thank you,” Vari approved as she entered Prince Garen’s number.

  Chapter 10

  When Vari awoke the next morning she wasn’t startled to find herself in the enormous bed of the master suite. But when she looked toward the far side of the room where the men sat talking around the table, she was startled to find that she couldn’t hear a word they were saying. Or anything else. She sat up, frowning sleepily in their direction.

  Her movement caught Declan’s eye and, after a brief moment, sound came rushing back. She understood immediately that they’d put a sound shield around her and was touched by their thoughtfulness.

  “Good morning,” she said, pushing the blankets back and reaching for her robe which one of them had draped over the foot of the bed for her.

  “Good morning,” they all replied, more or less at the same time. She couldn’t prevent the smile that stretched across her face.

  “Would you like some coffee? Or tea?” Kai asked.

  “Coffee please,” she said. “And maybe a pastry to hold me until breakfast?”

  “Of course,” he replied, already pouring coffee from a carafe into a mug for her. She entered the bathroom and closed the door. When she came out a few minutes later she was cleaned up as well as she could be. After a little coffee she’d head back to her room for a shower.

  She took the last seat at the table and reached for the steaming mug of coffee in front of her just as someone knocked on the door. Kai got up to answer it and returned a moment later with a tray holding a variety of pastries. She selected one and spent a few minutes enjoying it and her coffee while the men did the same.

  “How did it go last night? Did you guys learn anything useful?”

  “We did,” Jay replied. “But I’m afraid we have more questions for you than answers.”

  “I’m not certain I understand you,” she said after taking a sip of her coffee. “Do you mean you have questions to ask of me, or just more questi
ons than answers?”

  “The former,” Jay replied. “We think there are a number of events missing as well.”

  “I’m not surprised.”

  “You’re not?”

  “Well, I’m not surprised now. The other day when I realized how little you knew, I was very surprised.”

  “I see,” Jay said, nodding. “We’d like to begin, if you don’t mind, with the identity of the woman who was kidnapped, then returned one year from the future.”

  “That was Rayne,” she said, then took another sip of her coffee while they sat speechless. Best to get this over with, she thought. “The woman involved in the events that took place on the Doftle storage planet was Salene, and she’s the one who now has a power bond with Wolef, the golden dragon.”

  Declan’s eyes narrowed and Kai’s face paled.

  “They’re the first Dracon Princesses to be born in eons and no one watches over them?” Jay demanded.

  Vari frowned. Their shock didn’t surprise her, but their anger did. After a moment, she thought she understood. “When I first transported to the Bihotza I caught an image from one of you, perhaps all of you, of myself and my sisters when we were about three years old. You expected me to still be that little girl, didn’t you?”

  “Yes we did,” Declan admitted, looking a little confused by the sudden change in subject. “We spend much of our time on the Bihotza and pay little attention to the passage of time.”

  “Well, just as I am no longer three, the princesses are no longer little girls either. They’ve grown up. We all have.”

  “We know they’re no longer children,” Declan said, scowling at her. “But they’re still our cousins regardless of their ages and we’re concerned about their safety. At least the youngest has enough sense to steer clear of danger.”

  Vari didn’t care much for his angry tone, or the way he was directing it at her. “You might want to check your facts before making assumptions.”

  “This is an outrage,” Declan growled, all three of them now glaring at her. “There can be no excuse for placing those girls in harm’s way.”