Instant Family (Silver Oak Medical Center Book 4)

by Aiden Bates

  "How could I what?" Brantley stood up and blinked at the smaller man.

  "How could you just walk away from him like that?" Luke closed the office door behind himself. "I mean look, I know I told you he deserved better, but he's up there like a damn zombie. You used him, you got what you needed and you just walked away." He crossed his arms over his chest. "He expected better from you."

  "Did he say that?" Brantley raised an eyebrow.

  "Of course not." Luke's sweet face twisted into an uncharacteristic expression of disgust. "He doesn't blame you at all. He told me you guys wouldn't have even moved in together if ICE hadn't forced you to."

  "It's true." Brantley sighed. "That's not an auspicious way to start things off."

  "So you couldn't have tried to work things out?" He threw his arms out to his sides. "Instead, you just threw him away the second you got your freedom. The very second. He's not going to recover from this."

  Brantley looked away. "He'll be fine, Luke. He's an adult. He has a family that supports him. And you'll notice he never asked me to stay."

  "He wouldn't!" Luke's cheeks turned bright red. "He never would. If you'd wanted to stay, he wouldn't have had to ask." He took a deep breath. "I shouldn't get involved."

  "You're right. You shouldn't." Brantley narrowed his eyes. He didn't want to get nasty with one of Allen's best friends.

  "But someone needs to stick up for Allen here. Maybe sticking up for him isn't telling you to man up and go talk to him, though. Maybe it's telling you to stay the hell away. Maybe it's wishing you'd never come into his life in the first place." Luke straightened his back. "I don't know why he only attracts selfish assholes who use him for everything he has to offer and then walk away, but here we are. He thought you were different, but you weren't. You're just like every other scumbag he's ever been with. He's better off without you, Brantley Powell."

  "You have no idea what you're talking about." Brantley dropped his voice to a growl. He wasn't a bad man. He hadn't been bad for Allen.

  "Did you get what you needed from him? Are you a free man now?"

  "Well, yes." Brantley stepped forward. "But—"

  "And did you then turn around and leave Allen alone?"

  "Yes, but that was the agreement." Brantley hissed the words out from between clenched teeth.

  "And you feel nothing for him." Luke ignored the concept of an agreement.

  "I didn't say that!"

  "You showed it." Luke walked out the door, bag of dog food balanced on his shoulder and formula under his arm.

  Brantley took a moment to breathe. Then he texted Allen. Are you okay?

  I'm fine. Busy.

  So much for Luke's angry words. Luke was just a busybody.

  Brantley buried himself in his work. He didn't reach out to Luke. Luke didn't reach out to him, either. As August ticked toward September, Brantley's life now couldn't be distinguished from his life before he'd met Allen. He worked, and he went home. He didn't socialize as much In fact, he avoided other people as much as he could. But that was okay, right? He'd just narrowly avoided death. He was allowed to withdraw.

  Janine called, once. "Hey, Brantley. How's it going?"

  "Oh, you know. Breathing a little easier now." He sighed. "How's your father doing?"

  "He's doing a lot better. He's one of two family members who aren't mad at you, but you know how these things go."

  Brantley closed his eyes. "Well, I'm glad he's not angry with me. I'm a little nervous about your mother." He paused for a beat. "Why is Allen mad at me?"

  "He's not." Janine cleared her throat. "Harper and Ethan are upset because you didn't say goodbye. The rest of us are mad because you left Allen high and dry."

  Brantley let out a little growl. "Have you been talking to Luke? Because I'll tell you what I told him. We didn't move in together because we wanted to. ICE all but forced it. Once ICE wasn't a factor anymore, neither one of us wanted to live together anymore." He rubbed at the side of his neck. "I miss the kids. I miss a lot of things, but I do miss the kids. I wish I could see them."

  "Well, if you hadn't hurt my brother, I might let that happen." Janine snorted. "I sure don't trust you with them now. Are you so sure neither of you wanted to live together anymore?"

  "Yes." Brantley didn't hesitate. He didn't have to think about it. "I'm positive."

  Janine made a weird little sound. "Well then. I guess it's for the best. He'll get over it eventually."

  "He doesn't have anything to get over, Janine!" Brantley stood up and paced. "This was mutual!"

  "Did you talk to him about it? Or did you just decide it was mutual?"

  "Janine, all of you people around Allen need to stop acting like he's too young and stupid to manage his own affairs, okay? He's a grown man who can act on his own. He's in his thirties, and he puts a lot into helping you and your family. Instead of trying to manage his life for him, maybe do him the courtesy of assuming that at his age, he knows what he's about." He took a deep breath and tried to remember that Janine was not the enemy.

  "I know you want what you think is best for your brother," he continued, and tried to moderate his tone. "But if he's still single at this age, there's probably a reason for it. He'll be happier when people stop trying to convince him he's unhappy. Let him be himself in whatever state works for him, would you? He works so hard to make others happy. So goddamn hard, Janine. Stop… stop projecting your ideas of happiness onto him. And tell anyone else who might be thinking of calling to yell at me to maybe talk to Allen before they do so.

  "Tell Harper and Ethan I love them."

  Janine's voice was more of a snarl than human speech. "I don't think you know what love is." She hung up the phone.

  Brantley waited until Friday to call Allen. Allen did pick up, which kind of surprised him. "Hey, Brantley." He sounded awful. "Thanks for the formula."

  "No problem." Brantley paused. "How's Alaina?"

  "She's good. She's growing. You know. Baby stuff." He paused. "Is it awkward if I tell you she misses you?"

  "Only a little." Brantley chuckled. "I miss her too. She was such a good baby, you know? I'd never spent much time around babies, but it was nice to cuddle her. She smelled good, except when she didn't."

  "Yeah. That hasn't changed in a week." Allen sighed. "I think Sadie misses you, too. She sits and looks at the door. I think she's waiting for you to come home."

  "Oh." Brantley didn't know what to say to that. "I guess I could come visit her."

  Allen made a strangled sound in the back of his throat. "I'm not sure that would help. I mean she'd just start the cycle over again, you know? It's probably best for them both to just get used to the way things are." He sighed. "All of us, probably."

  Brantley frowned. "Are you okay?"

  "I'm fine. Why?"

  "You sound a little down." All he needed was one word from Allen and he'd be on his way back out to East Syracuse, without a second thought.

  "Maybe. I'm adjusting, I suppose. It'll be fine."

  Brantley didn't know if he wanted to accept that at face value, or if he wanted it to be a lie. "I had some conversations this week. Um, I spoke to Luke. And to Janine."

  Allen cursed. "Busybodies."

  "Yes, I might have told Janine as much." Brantley laughed at himself. "In fact, those were my exact words. They care about you, Allen. They're all worried about you. Maybe make a little effort to set their minds at ease. Go out, spend some time with them. Show you're happy and having fun or something."

  Allen snickered. It was kind of a bitter sound, but there was humor to it, too. "You know, people don't want to see their single friends paired off because they want to see them happy, Brantley. They want to see their single friends paired off because they want to see them dealing with the same frustrations they are. I need new friends. Single friends."

  Brantley let out a laugh. "That is the truth!"

  "Anyway, I'll take care of the 'helpful' souls. I apologize for them. Thanks for checking in. I
t's good to know someone's there."

  Brantley smiled as he hung up. God, he'd missed talking to Allen. He wasn't surprised to find Allen wasn't consulted when his friends and family ganged up on Brantley. He wasn't the kind of guy who would ever have consented to that.

  He was a little concerned, though, by the little tone of bitterness in Allen's laugh. Was Allen unhappy? Was Allen unhappy because of Brantley? He hadn't said he wanted Brantley in his life, once he was done with ICE. He hadn't said he wanted Brantley out of his life, either.

  His comments about "adjusting to the way things are" had been a little concerning. Did Allen just not want to get the dog's or the baby's hopes up?

  Brantley shook his head to clear it. People who sat around and tried to attribute intentions between the lines got themselves into trouble. Allen, as he'd told Janine, was an adult. If he wanted Brantley, he'd say so. Until he had a clear and enthusiastic yes, he had to accept the no.

  He prowled around his big, empty townhouse. Allen had a pretty good life, all things considered. He had a child. He had a dog. His house was full of life, and things to make him smile. If anyone had an excuse to be down, it was Brantley. Even Fabian had been able to overcome his own fears to find love, acceptance, and family.

  Brantley's home would never know that kind of abundance. It might be a beautiful space, but only because he'd hired a decorator. There would be no children to bring noise to the silent walls, no furry critters to fill the room with toys and affection. From now until Brantley died, it would be silent and cold.

  Allen had shown him how to live that family kind of life, but it had just been a tutorial. All it had done was show Brantley what he was missing.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Allen ran the wand over Mr. Derring's flat abdomen. His husband held his breath as they waited for something to happen. For a moment, all they heard was the swooshing of Derring's blood and the occasional embarrassing digestive sound. Hey, don't let anyone tell you this job isn’t glamorous, he joked with himself.

  Then the wand picked up the sound he wanted. It was faint at first. He moved the wand a little and there it was, a steady beat-beat-beat. "There we go," he said, smiling broadly at the happy couple. "That's your baby."

  The men looked into each other's eyes. They were smiling, but maybe "smiling" was too mild a word. Derring looked like he might be about to cry. "That's my baby," he gasped, and covered his mouth with his hands. "That's my baby!"

  "That is your baby." Allen didn't resent having to repeat his words. Normally he would, but these were special circumstances. At least, they were special circumstances for the Derring's. Allen went through it every day. He loved to see it when the couple was together, though, and got to experience that first moment at the same time. "Congratulations! This is a big step."

  He let them listen for a little while longer, and then he backed away. "All right. I'll want to see you again in four weeks, less if you feel anything unusual. Okay?" He smiled at his patient, who was still staring at his husband.

  The husband looked over at Allen. "Sorry. We've been trying for so long."

  "I know you have." They had, too. There weren't a lot of fertility treatments available for omegas. They just had to keep trying and hope for the best. This time, it had worked. Allen had to be happy for them.

  He took the Doppler back to his office. He certainly couldn't leave it in the exam room, so it didn't look all that unusual for him to be carrying it around. He closed his office door.

  He looked down at the Doppler. He was probably just far enough along that he could get a heartbeat, right?

  This wasn't something he should do. He should talk to a different professional. He should talk to Carter. As the patient himself, he couldn't be objective. He was too close to the situation, whatever the situation was. That same embarrassing digestive sound he'd heard—and diagnosed—when listening to Derring would become clear evidence of octuplets in himself, or terrible heart problems, or something else.

  He couldn't make himself do it. Going to someone else would make it real. If it was real, Allen would go from being a vaguely sad guy who'd just gone through a breakup to just being pathetic. And, frankly, stupid. He'd been willing to take a lot of risks to help Brantley out. He'd known he was risking pregnancy when he had sex with Brantley, bare. It had been a calculated risk.

  He'd gotten burned.

  He'd gotten burned, and he'd have to face the music eventually. He wasn't ready to deal with it yet. It was bad enough that his friends and family were pestering poor Brantley. If they knew he was pregnant they'd never leave him alone.

  He rolled down the top of his scrub pants and he pulled up his shirt. Now his belly was bare. He didn't have an exam table in here, but he could just lean his seat back just a tad.

  There, just like that. He could pass the wand over his belly, just like that. And then he could just run the wand over his own flat belly. Maybe he didn't have a loving husband, or even a boyfriend who was sweeter than any ten men who came through his office combined, but he could still have this moment.

  Maybe it would be better if Sadie was here. Then he wouldn't be completely alone.

  For a moment, he heard his own blood, whooshing through his veins. His heart rate sounded a little high, and he made a mental note to start meditation or something. Stress wasn't great for a developing fetus.

  It didn't take him long to find the heartbeat, not on himself. That, right there, was his baby. It sounded different in his head, when he was talking about his own child.

  This was Alaina's little sibling. This was all that was left of his union with Brantley, besides the memories. Someday, decades from now, even the memories would be gone, but this child would live on. They would prove that Allen had been with someone once, someone who'd been kind and beautiful and sweet. It hadn't lasted, but it had happened, and no one could erase it.

  The door to his office swung open. Luke and Carter walked in.

  Allen froze. The steady thump-thump-thump of his baby's heartbeat echoed in the otherwise dead silence of the room.

  Luke and Carter stared at him in silence for a full minute. Then they backed out of the office, slowly. Luke closed the door behind them.

  Allen turned the machine off. He covered himself and sat up straight. He knew he was blushing. He was probably as red as a beet, but he couldn't feel anything.

  "God damn it!" That was Carter's Tennessee twang, echoing off the department walls. "I'm going to kill that son of a bitch."

  "Carter!" Luke snapped. "No!" Their voices dropped, and Allen couldn't decipher their words anymore.

  That was okay. He had enough on his plate, what with all of the shame.

  His friends walked back into the office. "So," Carter said, with artificial brightness. He stuffed his hands into his pockets as Luke closed the door. "Sounds like someone's got some exciting news."

  Allen turned his head away. "It's not that exciting," he said after a moment. "It happens every day around here."

  Luke came over to sit on Allen's desk. He couldn't ignore Luke if he was that close. "Not to you."

  Carter took the other side. "So." He pressed his lips together. "A baby, huh"

  "Yeah." Allen looked down. He couldn't make himself meet their eyes. "I'm probably, six, maybe seven weeks along now."

  "Mm hmm." Luke shifted his weight. "I want to say congratulations. I do, man. But, ah, you can see my dilemma."

  "I'm excited about the baby." Allen wasn't exactly lying. "I mean yeah, it's a little daunting to be doing it alone, but I was already going to be doing it alone. This is just one more. They'll be close in age, so they can support each other and stuff. It'll be fine."

  "Do your parents know yet?" Carter's voice was soft and gentle.

  "No." Allen rubbed at the back of his neck. "No. They don't. Janine doesn't know either. It's been a kind of an eventful few weeks, you know? I haven't had a chance to really put the word out there." He swallowed and finally lifted his eyes. "The time just d
idn't seem right. Oh, Dad's sick. Oh, Brantley's ex just died. Oh, ICE is off our backs. There just wasn't a point where it ever seemed right to call someone and say, 'Oh, by the way, it looks like I'm having a baby in a few months, so babysitting services are going to be a little sparse."

  Carter and Luke exchanged glances. Carter turned red. Luke turned white. "So Brantley actually walked away when you were pregnant." Luke sucked his cheeks in. "Are you kidding me?"

  Allen shook his head. "I. Um. He doesn't know."

  Carter coughed, like he was choking on something. "Okay, Allen. I love you, you're my best friend, and we've been friends for a long time. I cannot figure out for the life of me what you're thinking there."