Dance With Destiny

by Sloan Johnson

  “Dad, that was completely uncalled for,” Cara screams. “He’s your son, for God’s sake!”

  “Cara, don’t bother. I knew when I woke up this morning that something like this would happen,” I concede, taking a damp washcloth from Amy. She rubs my arm without saying a word as I dab the blood off my face. “If I knew it’d be this bad, I would have listened to you and Andrew.”

  “You knew about this, Caroline?” my mother screeches. “I can’t believe you allowed him to embarrass our family this way and didn’t try to stop him.”

  Cara looks around the room, looking as disgusted as I feel. “Mother, it seems to me Dad is the one who did that. Tony may not have had the best timing, but I can’t blame him for setting Aaron straight. You preach about treating people with respect and dignity, but what you really mean is people like you.”

  “Caroline, don’t speak to your mother that way,” our father scolds. I can almost see him reaching for his belt buckle, ready to take my sister over her knee for such a display of disrespect. “Your brother chose to come in here and spout his queer propaganda—”

  “Robert, that’s enough.” Andrew’s voice nearly shakes the room. “Cara, Tony, if you want to sit here and have it out with your family, that’s on you. As for me, I’ll be out in the car for the next five minutes. After that, you’ll have to catch a cab.”

  We watch him stalk to the door, coats tumbling to the floor as he yanks his off the hook. Cara grips my hand tightly, pulling me to follow. With the adrenaline already starting to flee my body, I’m left dazed and in pain, both physical and emotional. I pat each of my nieces and nephews on the head on the way out, scared that this will be the last time I see them.

  “Don’t bother coming back until your head is out of your ass,” my father warns as I open the front door.

  I turn to face him, fire one final salvo in his direction. “Today is the first day I’ve done the right thing. I’m not about to cave to your threats simply because I’m in love with a man instead of a woman. So, I guess you’d better take a good look while you can because I won’t be back.”

  With great flair, I turn to make my exit, slamming the door on whatever my father’s sputtering inside.

  “You don’t do anything halfway, do you Bobo?” Cara laughs as she rests her hand in the crook of my arm. I’m fairly certain she’s going to be collateral damage in my little battle, but I don’t think she’s as worried about it as I am. Of course, she has the security of a sane family to fall back on.

  “Nah, if they want to disown me, there’s no sense in me keeping from saying what’s on my mind. You know you might as well be a lesbian at this point because I’m pretty sure you’re just as guilty as me in their eyes.” I kiss my sister’s temple as we walk to the car. She didn’t have to stand by me, but I’ll owe her forever because she did.

  “I could, but our love of dick is one thing you and I have in common.” If I had anything in my mouth, I’m pretty sure I would have choked. Never in my life have I heard Cara say anything remotely vulgar. So much for the debutante persona.

  Tony wasn’t even gone this morning when I started feeling sick to my stomach. Not flu-like sick, but that ominous feeling that something very wrong is going to happen today. And knowing what Tony was talking about yesterday, I don’t need to jump very far to the nearest logical conclusion. The stubborn ass wouldn’t listen to me when I tried telling him he shouldn’t ruin the little bit of time he has to spend with his family. And he definitely shouldn’t do it for me because we have less than a week left before we go our separate ways.

  “Dominic, something is wrong today,” Nona notes, sitting down beside me on the worn sofa. Gus and Mama could afford to replace it, but I’m glad they haven’t. Everything in their home is a sort of time capsule to the life they’ve worked decades to build. The eldest member of the Rossi family never asks if something is wrong because she always knows. I didn’t believe Andrew at first when he told me that there’s no point in trying to avoid telling Nona because she’ll press until she gets the answers she wants. “You seem out of sorts. Did something happen last night after we left?”

  Hell yes, something happened. It’s called a night filled with mind-blowing sex and the comfort of a man I could see myself falling in love with. We connected in a way that I’m not sure I ever have in my life, not even with Brandon, and I’m scared out of my mind right now. Okay, not the type of thoughts you share with your adoptive grandmother.

  “No, nothing bad happened last night.” There, hopefully that’s close enough to the truth for Nona.

  “Then why is your brow knit so tightly?” she asks, tracing a frail finger along the deep ridges of my forehead. Her hand drops to my lap as she silently wills me to open up to her

  There’s nothing saying that I have to share my concerns, but holding things close to my chest hasn’t turned out well for me so far. Plus, the entire family rallied around me last night, reminding me that they really do see me as one of their own, even if I wasn’t born to them.

  “I’m worried about Tony,” I admit. I stare at the dregs in the bottom of my coffee mug, wondering how his day with the family is going, feeling foolish that I’m upset because Tony never responded to my text message. My insecurity is going to get the best of me if I keep thinking like this. “He was talking—”

  The front door slamming cuts me off. Nona and I both turn to see Andrew storming straight into the kitchen, oblivious to the fact that we’re there. I quickly excuse myself, knowing this is going to be really, really bad. Not once in all the time we’ve known one another have I see Andrew this furious; not even the night he tracked me down in Rhode Island, so that’s saying something.

  What I see when I walk into the kitchen almost buckles my knees. Andrew’s hanging on his mother’s much smaller frame, his body heaving. “Thank you, so much, for being who you are,” he murmurs, not easing his hold on her body. He’s alone and he’s upset. These two facts send my heart racing.

  “Andrew, you’re scaring me,” his mother cries. They pull apart and realize that I’m in the room. Andrew stops me when I turn to leave.

  “Dom, you need to hear this,” Andrew says, pulling a chair out, motioning for me to sit.

  Mama and I watch as Andrew tries to pull himself together. I want to scream at him to get on with it, ask him why Tony and Cara aren’t with him. Mama reaches across the table to still my hand, preventing me from fidgeting with the place setting in front of me.

  He barely begins speaking when I leap out of my chair, needing to find Tony. “Dom, sit your ass down. He’s outside talking to his sister. He asked me to come in first to warn everyone about what went down because he’s not in a very festive mood right now.”

  Begrudgingly, I plop my ass back onto the chair. “Oh, that poor child,” Mama chimes in when Andrew relays the pinnacle of the fight to us. “I’ll never understand how parents can be so cruel to their own flesh and blood. They’re the disgrace, not him. All that boy wants is to be accepted and loved,” she tsks.

  Mama heads to the stove, stirring the pot as she mutters words neither of us can understand. My mouth goes dry as I remember another day so much like this one. Granted, my own confrontation with my family was on a plain-old Saturday, but Mama’s reaction was the same.

  “Dom, there’s something else you need to know,” Andrew says, thumping me on the shoulder to make sure I’m giving him my undivided attention.

  How in the hell could there be more?

  “Spill it already, Rossi,” I grumble. In about three seconds, I plan on being out of this room so I can check on my man. My man? I’m screwed.

  “His dad…well, fuck…” In the time I’ve known Andrew, I can count on one hand the number of times he’s been at a loss for words. Including now, that number is one. “Dom, his dad was really pissed when Tony told his family that he wanted to be here, with you and the people who love him and he…uh, he knocked Tony to the ground.”

  “What the fuck, Andrew!”
I push away from the table so fast the chair tumbles over. “You might have wanted to lead with that. How in the fuck did that happen?”

  “Boys, I understand that you’re both rightly upset, but I’ll ask you once to please mind your language,” Mama scolds. We both mutter our apologies as Andrew follows me out of the house.

  “Tony, baby, open the door,” I plead. Tony’s staring at the floorboards of Andrew’s car, refusing to let me see his face. “Come on, Tony. Please open the door so we can talk.”

  He shakes his head like he’s terrified of everyone. Knowing what little I do about him, other than the basics, he’s probably expecting me to yell at him for doing the one thing I begged him not to do. I want to, but having been in his shoes, I know that won’t do any good right now.

  “Dom, give us a few minutes and we’ll be in.” Cara mouths an apology to me, for what I have no fucking clue. “I promise. Just let me talk to him a bit longer.”

  “Five minutes and then I’m coming back out here,” I warn them, stomping through the snow leading back to the front porch. I brush snow off one of the metal chairs flanking the door, shrieking when my backside hits the cold metal. I’ll probably be frozen solid by the time they get out of the car, but I’m not about to let Tony out of my sight right now. He was there for me yesterday when I needed him and I’m going to do the same for him.

  “Here, idiot,” Andrew says, tossing my coat to me. I shrug it on, eyeing his car the entire time. “He’ll be fine, D. In a twisted way, I’m glad it happened today because it’ll be easier for us to show him that he’s not totally alone.”

  “Fuck that,” I bite out through gritted teeth. My nails dig into the palms of my hands with how hard I’m clenching my fists. It’s been years since I’ve wanted to hit something, but right about now, I can almost picture Mr. DeLuca’s face on the brick face of the house. “I told him I didn’t want him coming out because of me. He knew that I thought it was a bad idea. And what does he do? He turns around and does it anyway, coming out with a fat lip and a pissed off family.”

  Andrew’s mouth goes slack as I ramble. He cocks his head to the side, waiting to see if I’m through before he speaks. “You know, I never took you for a conceited ass, but I might have to re-evaluate after that bullshit.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?” I snap, ready to turn my anger on my best friend. “He told me he was going to come out and I told him to wait. Tony didn’t listen. How does that make me conceited?”

  Andrew lurches out of his chair, leaning over to put his hands on the arms of my seat. “Because, you arrogant ass, he didn’t do shit for you. Whatever the two of you have going on may have been a catalyst, but I assure you, Tony did this for himself. You’ll be gone in a few days, but Tony will be able to go out and find someone when he gets home without having the black cloud that is the DeLuca family hanging over him.”

  “But why now? Why today?” I protest. Whether or not he did it for me is irrelevant. If I hadn’t offered him a ride that night, if we hadn’t been attracted to one another with such force, he’d still be content and his family still oblivious. It’s because of me that he did this. Somehow, my mind gets caught in a loop, replaying Andrew’s words about me being gone soon. While it may be true, I don’t want it to be. I thought I could get involved with Tony on a purely physical level, but he’s so far under my skin I’m not sure he could be surgically removed at this point. The longer I sit and stew, the more I feel jealousy working into my bones. I don’t want there to be someone else. I want to be the one he finds and can be happy with.

  “Because he finally opened his eyes.” Andrew’s body is still rigid as he hovers over me, looking ready to move those hands so they’re around my neck. “He saw a good thing and almost fucked it up. It didn’t have to be you, it could have been anyone.”

  “Boys, if you two are finished with your little testosterone fest, I think Tony would like a few minutes with Dom before facing the family.” Cara pulls Andrew away from me, kissing him passionately without any regard for who might be near. “Thank you for giving us your family,” she says to her husband. I ease my way past them, not wanting to disrupt the little moment they have going.

  Tony’s leaning against the hood of the car, kicking at the snowdrifts. He lifts his gaze to meet mine and my heart skips a beat at the pain and rejection in his features. I cup his face in my hands, lightly brushing my lips over the cut at the corner of his mouth and then each bruise left by his father’s hand. “Balls to the wall, huh DeLuca?” I chide, receiving a faint smile in return.

  “You know me, stirring up shit in my wake all the time,” he responds, the mirth laced with sadness. “Can we take a walk?”

  Dom doesn’t let me get a step away from him before his arm is laced behind my back. He guides me to the sidewalk and I lean into him as we head toward the park at the end of the road. I keep waiting for Dom to chew me a new ass for being stupid and not listening to him, but he doesn’t.

  “So, it was pretty bad, huh?” he asks as we turn onto the park path. The snow is almost deep enough to hide the walkway, but not quite. Even though my life is a chaotic mess right now, I’m not sure I’ve ever felt so peaceful and free as I do right now. This is the first time I’ve ever walked down the street with someone holding me as though I’m something special.

  “There’s the understatement of the year,” I respond sarcastically. “I can’t say I’m really surprised, but it still sucks, being turned out by my family like that.”

  Dom kisses my temple, turning me to face him. “They’re the family you were born to, but they’re not everything. I can’t say I know what you’re going through because my dad is practically a saint compared to yours at this point, but what I do know is Mama Rossi is probably going to smother you with affection when we get to the house. That woman and Nona are angels on Earth as far as I’m concerned.”

  It’s the same speech Cara gave me in the car. There’s a weak comfort to be had knowing that she doesn’t hold the same views as the rest of the family, and we’re likely both cast aside because of it. As the adrenaline of the fight wears off, it’s replaced with guilt because she was the good kid and I’m the one who fucked up her life.

  “They do seem pretty cool,” I agree. “I just wish I didn’t have to dump this on them. It’s funny, I don’t regret what happened with my parents today because it needed to be done, but the fact that this shit is going to follow me into Gus and Mama’s is upsetting. I don’t want them hating me for bringing my drama to their house.”

  A strong hand lands on the back of my head, pulling me so our foreheads are touching. “They won’t be. Gus might tease you about it for a year or two, but their house will become your home when you’re in town. I promise you that.” Dom seals his vow with a kiss that quickly becomes hot enough that I’m surprised it doesn’t melt the snow around us.

  His icy hands work their way beneath my pea coat, tugging at the hem of my shirt to find purchase on my bare back. “Jesus, Dom! You trying to give me frostbite with those fingers?”

  Dom kisses me yet again, laughing as he slides his way down to cup my ass. If he keeps that shit up, I’m going to lay him out in a snow bank and fuck him raw. My heart lightens a bit at that image, immediately plummeting when I remember that Dom isn’t a forever deal. I’m letting myself fall for him, but in a week I have to head back to Virginia and he’ll fly back to Phoenix or wherever he’s planning on going for the time being.

  “Hey, why’d you get stiff as a board?” Dom asks, brushing his fingers across my cheek. I chuckle at his choice of words and he smacks my chest. “Not like that, you perv. Although…”

  He reaches between our bodies, verifying the fact that every part of me is rigid right about now. “Hmmm, want to do something about that for me?” I ask, hoping he’ll forget my awkward moment.

  “Tonight,” he breathes into my ear. “But only if you tell me what you were thinking a minute ago.”

  Fuck. More talking. Now I see wha
t Dom meant about being sick of talking last night.

  I turn back toward the house, figuring it won’t be long before Cara comes looking for us. “You’re going to think it’s stupid.”

  “Don’t tell me what I will or won’t think, just tell me what’s on your mind.”

  “I’m just trying to figure out a way to keep from waking up from this dream.” My choice of words makes me sound like a pansy, but that’s exactly what this past week has felt like. Sometimes the sweetest of dreams and much of it a freaking nightmare, but either way, I’m waiting to wake up. When that happens, pieces of the nightmare will haunt me forever, but the good parts will fade away.

  “How so?” Dom urges, sliding his arms around my waist.

  “This,” I say, motioning between our bodies. “It just hit me that I’ll be heading home before long and that’ll be it. The problem is I don’t want to think about not having you around. Even though I fucked up, I feel like our paths crossed for a reason. Never mind, I told you it was stupid.” I shake my head and start to walk away, figuring I’m being ridiculous, but Dom reaches out to stop me.

  Dom squeezes me tightly as we stand in the middle of the path. An old woman walking her dog comes along, smiling at the two of us cuddled close together. “Sometimes, you talk too much,” Dom laughs. “And I’m quickly learning that you think too much a lot of the time. What happened to enjoying whatever time we have? I have to say, you’re kinda sucking at the whole boyfriend experience. I’m going to ask for my money back pretty soon.”