Ms. Infinity (Book 1): Earth's Greatest Hero

by Kirschner, Andrew

“This is it,” said Hal. He closed his eyes and waited. He could not imagine what horrific end was ahead of him. He only knew that he was about to be burned or vaporized. The last thing he expected was to be knocked off his seat, the ship crashing into a sudden stop.

  “What happened?” he wondered. For some reason the ship was turning around.

  “It’s okay, Hal!” called a voice.

  He looked behind, and there she was. “Bonnie!” he shouted.

  “Hal!” said Ms. Infinity, as she ran to embrace him.

  “You saved me again. So you are alright.”

  “I am,” said Ms. Infinity as she pulled away, “Although you just gave me the scare of my life. But you’re okay, and I’m okay. That’s all that matters. By the way, you may not realize just how advanced this ship is. Okay, you fell out of your seat, but that’s all. Not many spaceships handle this smoothly when they’re stopped short after going millions of miles per second.”

  “Amazing! But how did you…”

  “I stopped it.”

  “From outside?”

  “Yes, Hal. From outside.”

  “You…Wow! You sure are powerful!”

  “And you are a nice looking man. By the way, you were right. There was an ambush.”

  “Oh no. Is everything okay?”

  “Oh Hal, don’t worry your handsome head. I spared every single life. You know I’m a softie at heart. So, I think I have an idea, but what were you doing and why?”

  When Hal explained his reasons, Ms. Infinity was amazed and awed. She was beginning to look upon her companion differently. Her mother had indeed been right about him.

  “Hal, I’m sorry if I’ve been keeping you out. You know what? This is your mission too. Seriously, you are a hero!”

  “Thank you,” he answered, blushing.

  She looked at him curiously. For some reason, he seemed to be holding back laughter.

  “Okay,” said Ms. Infinity, “I know you can’t hook me up with a chocolate fix, but can you at least tell me what’s so funny?”

  “Well, look at this, Bonnie,” he laughed, “This is something you never thought I would be able to do. I worked the ship. Think about that now. I figured out how to work in those multidimensional planes. You know, the things you thought I couldn’t understand. Nice, huh? Still think we humans are dogs trying to learn video games?”

  “Well now, I didn’t…”

  “Oh! Look at me! I’m a dog playing a video game! What’s that? Woof! Woof! This dog just defeated Bowser!”

  She looked at him wide-eyed and laughed, “What a smart doggie!”

  “That’s the best you can say to me?”

  “I kid. That’s really very amazing. It really is. I have underestimated you. I wish I could say more, but I have to get back to questioning Misery. I have finally had a breakthrough.”

  Returning to the prison cell once again, Ms. Infinity looked at Misery with anger. Misery looked surprised and dismayed to see her. She tried once to communicate in the language of Center. Ms. Infinity only looked back with contempt.

  “Never mind that, Misery!” said Ms. Infinity, in English clear as a bell, “No more games. Now, you are going to tell me, in plain speech, what is really going on?”

  19. Confronting the Creep

  By the time Lisa returned to her station at the customer service desk, customers were beginning to arrive for the evening rush. A cold sense of dread was upon her. There was a tension in the back of her neck, pain in her sides, and a terrible sense of foreboding. More than ever, she was sure she could not go on as she had before.

  Soon Julia finally arrived to accompany her at the customer service desk. For a few minutes, they handled the crowd together. There were no more “creeps” than usual. The “Long Winded Guy” attempted to con them, but Julia shut him down with an abrupt demand, “Return something or go!” Both Julia and Lisa agreed that it was a satisfying moment. But soon they saw the approach of another creep, the house creep, Denny. Bobbi was also a short distance away. She seemed to be sneaking around the aisles around the baby section

  “Julia,” whispered Lisa urgently, “Look!”

  “At what?” said Julia, “I see enough of that jerk.”

  “I know, but wait. It’s about to get interesting.”

  As they watched, Bobbi beckoned to Denny. He tried his best to be inconspicuous as he moved over to her. Remembering what Bonnie had said, Lisa wondered what might be going on.

  “Julia,” said Lisa, “Watch customer service.”

  “You are daring,” said Julia, “But you’re leaving me to handle the line…”

  “Oh bitch please!” snapped Lisa as she scurried away.

  Lisa snuck into the baby section from the back. She crawled behind a stroller display and listened.

  “No. No.” said Bobbi, “Don’t. Don’t. Don’t touch me. I said stop!”

  “You are a tease,” said Denny.

  “Don’t get too used to this.”

  “Don’t tease me. You want it too.”

  “Don’t take this for granted. Can we get this over with? I can’t keep my order hidden forever.”

  “You really are like the rest of them, just a gold digger.”

  “Denny!”

  “Alright. Alright. Just give me a couple of minutes. I’ll get the girls off the register.”

  Lisa snuck a quick peek, and saw that Denny was indeed groping Bobbi. She was trying to stop him, but he kept persisting. Her expression showed both stress and resignation, as if she knew she was helpless to control the situation.

  So now the story was becoming clear. Denny must have been harassing Bobbi, and she must have been extorting him. He must have been letting her steal, or at least get discounted prices, with the register at customer service. It was also clear now to Lisa why Denny was using her numbers; that way she would get the blame for the fraudulent sale. No doubt he had the camera was turned off at just the right moment so that the sale would not be seen.

  Lisa snuck back to the front end. Maria was at customer service. “Lisa,” she called, “If you needed a bathroom break, you should have said so.”

  “Come here Maria!” whispered Lisa.

  “Now what?”

  “I just saw Denny, and he had his hands all over Bobbi. Did you know that this was going on?”

  “Know? Lisa dear, I don’t just know. Just be glad he’s not doing this to you.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah honey. Denny’s a piece of work. Believe me, if I didn’t have a family to support, I wouldn’t be putting up with this.”

  “But there’s more. Bobbi’s trying…”

  Lisa then saw Denny approaching customer service. Lisa ran to her station. As she arrived, Denny was also arriving. “Trying to sneak back?” he sneered.

  “I just returned from break,” said Lisa, “What’s your excuse?”

  Denny came up very close to Lisa. Tall as he was and as short as she was, he was very imposing. “Whatever,” he said, “You girls can go to the registers or something. You know what? Help the stock boys downstairs.”

  Maria was slightly behind Lisa. She shook her head quietly, with a look on her face that said she was dying to speak up.

  Lisa looked back up at Denny, trying to keep from showing her nervousness. “What’s the matter? You couldn’t pull your operation in the fifteen minutes when I was gone?”

  “Do me a favor, girl. Babble somewhere else. I got actual work to do.”

  “Oh you got work to do. You’re well prepared for it too. Security cameras off and everything. You’re all ready to steal my ID and use it for your criminal operation.”

  Denny looked back in shock. “What the hell you talking about?”

  “Oh you know exactly what I’m talking about. I heard everything.”

  “This is none of your goddamn business.”

  “Oh, it’s my business!” shouted Lisa, “I’m protecting my job. You’re no supervisor. You’re a thief. I’m not going anywhere unti
l everyone knows it!”

  “I said, mind your own business!”

  “I am,” said Lisa firmly, “This is my business. I know everything, and I won’t be quiet anymore. The minute you try to sign on with my name, I’m going to scream.”

  Denny looked both very nervous and very angry. “Don’t you even think of getting involved, you little stink! I’ll have you fired so fast you’ll be crying to your Daddy!”

  “Is that your best insult? You’re going to get me fired anyway. Why the hell should I even think of listening to you anymore?”

  Julia was looking at Lisa with amazement. She wasn’t sure what she thought. Was she impressed at her courage, or worried about the consequences she was about to face? She knew one thing. She was annoyed. The line was getting longer, and now she was left to handle it by herself.

  Denny moved in closer. “Don’t you talk to me like that, little girl! I can make life very difficult for you. Who do you think they’re gonna believe? Go ahead and try and say all you’re saying. I dare you. Try it and I’ll make you pay!”

  “Oh, really?”

  “You better not talk. Your name will all over the store. This will not end well for you!”

  Denny was standing over Lisa in as threatening a stance as he could. Yet the more he talked, the more it became clear that he was very nervous. Lisa could see the sweat pouring down his neck. As he raised his voice, she could also detect a note of desperation.

  “Oh, I get it!” said Lisa, “You’re trying to intimidate me. You’re a big bully! That’s your whole thing. You’re all about being bigger and stronger, too big to screw with. But I understand perfectly now. You’re scared. You’re scared of all of us. This whole thing is big façade. Well guess what. I’m pretty good at seeing through façades. I’ve seen through much smarter than yours.”

  “You know what,” said Denny, “Punch out and go home. You’re being written up for insubordination. Do it now or you’re fired!”

  Lisa wanted to continue, but she felt doubt kicking in. If she were fired, then she feared that there would be no more she could do. It also occurred to her that if she were punched out, Denny would not be able to use her ID. She took out her wallet from her purse, and found her employee card. Then she punched out, and stormed out the door.

  Denny snuck away from the scene as quietly as he could. But even as he stalked away from customer service, he couldn’t avoid Bobbi, who came up to him and spoke just over a whisper, “You’re not off the hook with me.”

  Lisa had been at this job for over four years. She had started while she was still at Queens College, when she noticed that it paid better than the campus jobs. She expected it to last her through her nursing degree too. It was not much, but it was hers. At twenty-six years old, it was virtually the only part of her life that her parents could not control.

  Despite their vastly different origins, Lisa and Bonnie had quite a few things in common, yet in some ways they were also opposites. For one thing, Lisa was a model student. But then she had little choice. Throughout high school, her parents were on her every second, orchestrating her success. Everything from her homework to her projects to her study time was planned obsessively by her mother, with her father on hand to enforce discipline when necessary. It even extended to her cello, an instrument she had never even wanted to play, but which was the one available for joining the orchestra that the family insisted she join.

  It did not even stop when she entered college. No matter how much Lisa protested, her mother continued to plan her studies, and continued to watch her constantly. It was then that Lisa thought seriously about moving out.

  This job seemed to have promise. It promised annual raises and an eventual promotion. There were even benefits for full time employees. Some of those promises were never fulfilled. The store would never give her enough hours to qualify as “full time,” though indeed she could never have worked that many hours anyway with her studies. She did get a few raises, and an eventual promotion to the customer service desk.

  It seemed however that no raises could compensate for the realities of New York City real estate. The goal of affording even the smallest apartment was still distant. For his part, Hal could not really afford the illegal upstairs conversion he was sharing with a roommate he could hardly stand. Still he struggled to keep his independence; the impossible seemed a necessity amidst the ugliness surrounding his parents’ divorce.

  Despite the difficulties, Lisa kept plugging away, eyeing that eventual move out. Then one day Denny was promoted to front end manager from the electronics department. He was rude and unreliable from the start, and grew crueler as time went on, until the whole environment became hostile. She had thought she would continue, but now things had become very uncertain.

  As she left, she felt resentment kicking in. After taking the trouble to stand up to Denny, she should never have let him intimidate her into leaving. What would happen now? She wanted to storm back in there. Knowing what she now knew, maybe she could finally get results. Perhaps she could finally stop being a victim of circumstance, and become an active participant in the actions that affected her. Maybe she could only do so much. Maybe even after she spoke up, she might not be heard. She might well find herself still on the sidelines. Yet it was foolish not to try. Still, she had to admit she was afraid to face him. It killed her inside. Nothing was worse than modest hopes dashed by a bully.

  After Lisa stormed out, the cashiers began to chat.

  “That was awesome!” said Ahmed.

  “Not so great for me,” said Julia, “Now I’m alone here.”

  “It’s great that someone finally said something,” said Nadine.

  “So wait,” said Ahmed, “What got Lisa so mad just now?”

  Julia and Nadine looked at Ahmed in utter amazement. “You didn’t see that?” asked Julia.

  Nadine explained, “Denny’s been a horror for as long as he’s been the boss here. He’s worse to the women. Ask Maria. He’s harassed both of us, and others. How did you not know that?”

  Julia looked in shock. “Wait. What? I thought he was just trying to steal or something.”

  Maria shook her head looking worried, “It’s that, it’s the other thing. You and Lisa wouldn’t know. You don’t see the side of him that I do.”

  “I mean,” said Ahmed, “He’s a jerk to all of us, and he’s never around when we need him, but…”

  “So Nadine,” asked Isha, “Would you have done what Lisa just did?”

  “Hell no! I need this job. I have a son to take care of. I can’t risk getting fired. Lisa doesn’t know how good she has it, living at home with Mommy and Daddy. Some of us need to work.”

  Julia looked at Nadine with surprise. “So, why are you just a cashier? You should try and get promoted. At least you should be with us in customer service.”

  “It’s not that easy. I have enough responsibility with my other job. Besides, I’m not having an easy time here. You may not have noticed, but I get in a lot of trouble when I get called by son’s school.”

  Meanwhile, Maria ran the front end quietly. All she could feel was disappointment. She was hoping Lisa would have the courage of her convictions, but when push came to shove, she had not followed through. It seemed that Denny was right about her after all.

  In other parts of the store, the sales people also gossiped about the people they barely knew. Teddy from electronics was friends with Hal, and knew Bonnie and Lisa. He was talking energetically with presumed authority.

  “It’s always the quiet ones, right?” he shouted. “I knew Lisa was weird. I bet she has some secrets too.”

  “Wait,” said Josh, his coworker, “Lisa? Which one is that?”

  “The Chinese girl from customer service,” shouted Jose from the men’s department, “You know, the one who was yelling at Denny.”

  “Oh, right.” said Josh, “Her. Yeah, she’s weird.”

  “I could tell you. She’s got stuff going on,” said Teddy, “I bet she’s tot
ally into domination. I’d love to see what’s in her basement.”

  The other guys laughed. “I could see her now with Denny! “ laughed Josh.

  Teddy could barley contain his laughter. “Oh you KNOW there was something going on with Denny!”

  Josh and Jose started simulating a scene with Denny begging Lisa, and were soon laughing uncontrollably.

  “That’s totally Lisa!” shouted Teddy.

  They would have gone on longer, but they were interrupted. Rafi, the electronics department manager, came in to break it up, and to remind them to get back to work. As they walked back to their station, Josh asked Teddy, “So what about Bonnie? You think she has some secrets too?”

  “Nah,” said Teddy, “She’s just stuck up.”

  20. A Villain’s Secrets

  Misery tried to maintain silence. As if playing dumb, she continued to communicate in the manner of the people of Center. Though for once, her tone and content seemed to convey compliance rather than contempt, Ms. Infinity ignored it. For all of Misery’s attempts at obfuscation, the look on her face told the whole tale. She was caught, and she knew it.

  “Forget it, Misery,” said Ms. Infinity, “I defeated the whole colony. The whole thing is destroyed and they all went home. Whatever you were planning, it’s over. But I found some materials here…

  “We call this Cosmopolitan, or Cosmo for short. My mother, you may remember her as ‘Bland Homemaker,’ she thinks Cosmo is rotting my mind. But I can’t stop reading these. I love the sex tips and guy pics. Oh and the fashion. Love the fashion. So, Misery, do you prefer this or Glamour? Honestly, whichever one it is, you desperately need a makeover. That hair flip over the right eye looks horrible. Although with that face, I probably would want to hide as much as…”

  “Shut up!” screamed Misery.

  “Well look who joined us!” said Ms. Infinity, “By the way Misery, that reminds me. These mags also have quizzes. This issue of Cosmo has one I think you should find eye opening, ‘Do You Have A Difficult Personality?’ You see, when they say ‘difficult personality,’ that’s code for ‘bitch,’ so I don’t know if you took it, but I’m pretty sure if you did…”