The Boys' Book 3

by STEVE MARTIN

  HOW TO BLUFF AT CARDS

  Bluffing means sneakily convincing other players in a card game that you are telling the truth, when really you’re telling big fat lies. A good bluffer is a master at keeping a straight face. This is sometimes called a ‘poker face’ because it is often used by poker players who don’t want to give anything away with their facial expressions.

  BLUFFING PRACTICE

  ‘Bluff’ is a game where, to win, you need to be the first player to get rid of all his cards. The only way to do this is to bluff the other players into thinking you are telling the truth.

  You Will Need:

  • a pack of playing cards • at least 3 other players

  (the more players you have, the more fun the game is)

  HOW TO PLAY

  1. Deal the cards out among the players until all 52 cards have been dealt as evenly as possible.

  2. Each player looks at their cards but doesn’t let anyone else see them.

  3. The player to the left of the dealer starts. He has to get rid of any aces he has by putting them face down in the middle of the table. For example, he may have one ace and so should say, ‘One ace’ and put this down. However, to get rid of his cards more quickly, he might pretend to have more. He could say, ‘Two aces’ and put two cards down even if they are not aces. He could even say ‘Three aces’ and put three cards down, or ‘Four aces’ and put four down (there are only four of any type of card, so he cannot say more than this).

  4. The other players have to decide whether the player who has just put his cards down is bluffing or telling the truth about the cards he has put down. If anyone thinks he is fibbing, they shout, ‘Bluff.’

  5. If this happens, the player accused of bluffing has to show the cards he has put down. If he is bluffing, he has to pick up all the cards in the middle of the table. If he isn’t, then the person who wrongly accused him has to pick the cards up.

  6. Each player takes a turn, moving clockwise round the table. After aces, put down the number two cards, then the number three cards, and so on, all the way to number ten. Then the jacks are put down, followed by the queens and, finally, the kings.

  7. If you do not have any cards of a particular number, then you can say, ‘Pass’, or sneakily bluff by playing one or more cards.

  The winner is the first person to get rid of all their cards. Be careful, though. You can still be challenged on your last card and, if you are bluffing, you will have to pick up all the cards in the middle.

  HOW TO MAKE A BOTTLE ORCHESTRA

  A few empty bottles, some water and a teaspoon may not sound like much, but with your talent, they can sound wonderful. Follow these steps and you’ll be making music in no time.

  SETTING UP YOUR ORCHESTRA

  • Find six empty glass bottles. It helps if they are all the same size. Milk bottles are perfect for transforming into an orchestra.

  • Fill the bottles with water, but put a different amount in each one. Only put a small amount – a couple of centimetres – in the first bottle. Put a bit more in the next bottle and so on until all six bottles have water in. Make sure that you leave a gap at the top of all of the bottles, even the fullest one.

  • Line the bottles up in order. Put the one with the least water at one end and the one with the most at the other end.

  • When you tap the side of the bottles gently with a teaspoon, each one will make a different sound. This is because the sound is travelling through different amounts of water. The less water in the bottle, the higher the sound will be.

  You are now ready to play that most famous of tunes, Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. The bottle with the most amount of water in is bottle one. The next bottle is two and so on. Bottle six will be the one with the least water in it. Here’s how to play it. The numbers underneath each word of the song represent which bottle you should tap in your orchestra.

  TWINKLE, TWINKLE, LITTLE STAR

  Top Tip. To make your bottle orchestra really stand out, add a few drops of differently coloured food colouring to each bottle of water.

  HOW TO BEAT YOUR FRIENDS IN A TRIAL OF STRENGTH

  If any of your friends think they are really strong, you can prove your superior strength with this simple test.

  EGG-STRA STRONG

  First, ask your friend if he thinks he can break an egg with his bare hands. Of course, he will say, ‘Yes’.

  Next, ask him to take the egg in one hand, wrap his fingers evenly around it and squeeze it as hard as he can. To his amazement, he will find that the egg is indestructible. This is because, although eggs can be easily broken by hitting them, they are actually designed to take quite a bit of squeezing. If this wasn’t the case, they would break when they were being laid.

  Now it’s your turn. The trick is to make sure that you are wearing a ring. One squeeze and you’ve got a broken egg.

  When you press the eggshell, all the pressure is on one point – the ring. When your friend tried, the pressure was evenly spread out all around the egg.

  HOW TO SHINE ON PARADE

  ‘Fall in! Attention! Right, you useless bunch, those boots need to be so shiny you can see your face in them! Understand, Soldier? Or you’ll be peeling potatoes for the next three weeks.’

  As you can see, it’s very important to look your best on parade. This is especially true of your leather boots. Parade-ground sergeants have a real thing about shiny boots. If you arrive on parade without them well-polished, you’re in big trouble.

  To make sure you don’t end up peeling huge piles of potatoes, whitewashing stones or spending night after night on guard duty, here’s how to get a real ‘spit and shine’ polish.

  You Will Need:

  • a pair of leather boots • two soft cloths • shoe polish • water

  TIME TO SHINE

  1. Put one hand inside the boot and, with the other hand, use one of the cloths to spread plenty of polish over your boot. When you’ve done this, leave it to dry for at least five minutes.

  2. Wrap the cloth around your index finger (the one next to your thumb) and dip your finger and the cloth in water.

  3. Rub the boot with the damp cloth. Do this by making your finger go round and round in small circles. After a while, the polish on it will start to shine.

  4. Dip your finger and the cloth into the polish again and apply another thin layer of polish to the boot. Don’t use much polish this time. Use the same circular motion as you did before and keep rubbing until the boot shines even more.

  5. Repeat this two or three more times until the boot is highly polished, then use a clean, dry cloth to give a final shine.

  6. Check to make sure you can see your face reflected in the polish and, if so, you are ready to go on parade.

  HOW TO BECOME A RAPPING SENSATION

  To become a true rap sensation you need to learn to ‘freestyle’. Freestyling is when rappers make up raps as they go along. They might do this by themselves, they might do it with a partner, or they might do it as a ‘rap battle’ where two rappers take turns trying to out-rap each other. Freestyle rapping is amazing to listen to and really impresses an audience.

  Follow these top tips and you can become a truly sensational freestyle rapper.

  TIME TO RHYME

  • The key to rapping is making up rhymes. Usually, each pair of lines rhyme. This is the part that takes practice. You can help yourself by having some prepared (for example, whenever you rap about school, remember that it rhymes with ‘cool’, or if you’re rapping about a boy, you have easy rhymes with ‘toy’, ‘joy’ or ‘annoy’.). Pre-plan words that rhyme with your name, your town or other words you know you will use in your raps.

  • The best way, though, is to think ahead. If you say the line: ‘My rapping is so good’, you should immediately be thinking about what rhymes with ‘good’ – then you could add the line, ‘The best in the ’hood’ or, ‘And that’s understood.’

  • Try to end your lines with words that are easy to rhyme. If
you say, ‘The sun is yellow’, your next line could end with ‘fellow’, ‘hello’ or ‘mellow’. However, if you say, ‘The sun is orange’, you will have problems finding a rhyme, because there are no common words that rhyme with orange.

  • It’s important that your rap has rhythm as well as rhyme. Try and keep each line the same length to give your rap a distinct beat.

  • If you make a mistake or stumble over your words, just keep going. The same applies if your line doesn’t rhyme. As long as you keep the rap going, people won’t really notice.

  • Try putting a rap group, called a ‘cipher’, together with your friends. This makes rapping a bit easier because you can be thinking of your lines while your friends rap.

  Remember, learning how to rap is all about practice, practice and more practice. Keep at it, and you’ll soon be looking and sounding like a cool rapper. Once you’ve practised, you’re ready to show your classmates just how good you are:

  ‘When I go to school

  They all think I’m cool

  And the reason you see

  Is the Boys’ Book 3

  It’s taught me all I know

  Like how to ride the rodeo

  And how to rap like a pro!’

  HOW TO AVOID SEASICKNESS

  Up and down! Side to side! You thought your Caribbean cruise would be the holiday of a lifetime, but instead you’re feeling rotten. You’ve been hit by the traveller’s curse: seasickness. When you board a ship, you are moving into a world where nothing stays still, which confuses your brain and body and can make you feel ill.

  Until you’ve been on a sea voyage, you won’t know whether you suffer from seasickness or not. However, there are things you can do to help avoid seasickness or to get over it quickly if you become unwell.

  • Until you have been at sea for a few hours, you should avoid going below deck. Spend as much time as possible gazing out at the horizon, where the water meets the sky. The horizon is a fixed point, so looking out at it helps your brain get used to being at sea.

  • If you do feel unwell, it can help to lie down, but do not lie down in your cabin. Find a comfortable deckchair and lie on deck. Make sure somebody stays with you.

  • If you are on a cruise, you will be tempted by all sorts of wonderful, exotic food. Try not to give into temptation during your first day. Eat lightly and eat familiar food.

  • If you do get seasick, you will get better. Once at sea, your brain and body will get used to the movement of the ship.

  Top Tip. Many experienced travellers say ginger is a good remedy for seasickness. Why not take some ginger biscuits with you when you board?

  HOW TO ‘SPIKE’ A VOLLEYBALL

  Spiking a volleyball is the most powerful shot in the game. Done correctly, it’s sure to win the point for your team. Spiking a ball means jumping up close to the net and hitting the ball powerfully down into the opponent’s side of the court. Here’s how to do it.

  1. Stand on the attack line that runs a few feet in front of the net and watch the ‘setter’ – this is the person who is going to pass the ball to you so you can hit it over the net.

  2. Take your run up. You will probably need to take three steps to reach the net from the attack line.

  3. Jump, and as you do so, throw both arms up above your head. This will give extra power to your jump. Time your takeoff so you hit the ball at the top of the jump.

  4. If you are right-handed, pull your right arm back so your elbow is nice and high. Keep your hand close to your head. Your hand should be open with the palm facing upwards.

  5. Bring your right hand forwards and hit the top of the ball with the bottom of your palm.

  6. Snap your wrist downwards as you hit the ball to spike it into your opponent’s side of the court.

  HOW TO BE A SUPERSTAR CHARITY FUNDRAISER

  Raising money for charity should be easy – after all, everyone likes to support a good cause. However, with so many good causes and so many people trying to raise money, you need to work hard to attract people’s attention.

  CAREFUL PLANNING

  • Your first task is to decide what you will raise money for. This could be a local organization, medical research or helping people in poorer countries.

  • Next, decide how to raise the money. One of the best ways is through sponsorship, where people pay you to complete an activity.

  • If you decide on a sponsored event, you need to choose what it will be. Fundraising is more effective and much more fun if you do it with friends, so why not organize a sponsored swim at your local pool. for instance?

  ORGANIZING THE SWIM

  Before you start, you should ask permission from the swimming pool’s manager, and make sure that a lifeguard can be present at all times during your swimming event. Ask an adult to help out with the organizing, and oversee your swim.

  Set your sponsorship target. The more challenging it is, the more likely people are to give you money. For example, you could do a five kilometre swim. Don’t worry if you can’t swim this far, you can make it a team effort. Find out the length of the pool. If it’s 33 metres, which many public pools are, then 152 lengths of the pool make up five kilometres. If there are 12 swimmers, that’s 13 lengths each. If two people swim at a time, everyone gets a rest while waiting for their next turn.

  Design sponsorship forms, so that everyone taking part can ask people to sponsor them. The forms should include details of the event, a column for people’s names and a column for the amount of money they are giving.

  Give all the swimmers an information sheet for the day with the time, date and meeting place. It should also include what people need to bring with them (such as a swimming costume, towel and snacks), and a swimming rota so everyone understands how the day will work.

  Once you’ve finished and had a well-earned rest, you and your friends need to collect the money and decide how you will give it to the organization you are supporting. You may be able to deliver it in person to a local representative, or you might need to send it to the organization. Ask an adult to help you with this.

  HOW TO RAISE SOMEONE UP USING ‘FINGER POWER’

  How strong are your friends? Strong enough to lift you off the ground using only their fingers? No? Well, follow these instructions and you will be amazed by your mates’ incredible, superhuman strength.

  WHAT YOU DO

  You need four friends to lift you using their ‘power fingers’. Sit on a chair without arms, such as a school chair. Sit very still and stay relaxed.

  Two of your friends should stand behind the chair, the third should stand at the right-hand side of the chair and the fourth at the left-hand side.

  Ask one of your friends to place his left hand on top of your head. Your three other friends should then place their left hands on top of his. Ask your friends to do the same with their right hands so that all eight hands are resting on your head.

  All four lifters now need to concentrate. While thinking about raising you into the air, they should chant the following aloud 20 times: ‘Light as a feather! Stiff as a board!’

  The lifters should now remove their hands and then each press their left and right hands together, with both their index fingers sticking out and the others clasped round each other, as shown here.

  The two people at either side of the chair put these two fingers under each of your knees. The two people standing behind the chair place their fingers under your armpits.

  Count to three out loud. When you call out ‘three’, everybody should lift upwards with their fingers. Incredibly, you will lift up as if you really were as light as a feather. Your friends will be able to lift you quite high, but make sure they let you down again carefully and gently.

  Top Tip. Quite often, it takes two or three goes to get this to work properly. If it does not work first time, remember to start again from the beginning and repeat the chanting.

  HOW TO BECOME A ROCK ’N’ ROLL DRUMMING LEGEND

  There’s no doubt abo
ut it, the drums are great fun to play. It takes practice and skill to master playing the drums, so here are some simple exercises to set you on the path to rock-and-roll-stardom.

  GOT RHYTHM?

  Pat yourself on the top of your head with an up and down movement, while using your other hand to rub your stomach in circles. Not easy, is it? Drumming is all about doing different things with different parts of your body, and it takes quite a while to be able to do this well.

  The next exercise is a lot more challenging. Try it and see how well you do.

  Tap a finger of your left hand on the table with a regular rhythm. Every other time it hits the table, hit the table at the same time with a finger of your right hand. The rhythm should go: Left … Left and Right … Left … Left and Right … Left ….

  Got the hang of it? Excellent. Now, repeat the exercise, but every fourth beat, stamp on the floor with your right foot. The rhythm should now go: Left … Left and Right … Left … Left and Right and Right Foot … and so on.

  If you have managed to get this far, you’re doing brilliantly. You are taking your first steps on the journey to being a rock ’n’ roll drumming legend. Don’t relax just yet, though. There is one more step.

  Repeat the exercise, but on the second beat and every four beats after that, stamp on the floor with your left foot. The final, complete rhythm should now go:

  Left Hand

  Left Hand, Right Hand, Left Foot

  Left Hand

  Left Hand, Right Hand, Right Foot.