Faithless

by Amanda Bennett

  The entire room had been decorated with almost everything I had liked as a kid. There was a fresh vase of tulips, my favorite flower, on almost every surface. The bedding was almost exactly like the bedding I had when I was little. It was a soft pink color and had small hearts at each corner. Granted it was much bigger in size now, but if I didn't know any better, I would've thought it to be the exact same blanket. I ran my fingers across the freshly made bed and closed my eyes as I tried to remember her. When I reached the small nightstand on the side closest to the double doors that lead out to the balcony I noticed a sealed envelope with my name scrolled across the front of it. I almost immediately recognized the writing from the letter I had received, and I wasn't sure if I was ready to read anything else my mother had to say to me right now. I tucked the letter into the drawer of the nightstand, and made my way back downstairs to where I had left my bag. When I bent down to grab my things, I noticed a flashy set of keys hanging from a hook above the built in desk in the foyer. I left my bag and made my way over to the desk. There was a note attached to the keys, and I quickly read it before discarding it.

  For my baby girl. Enjoy!

  My foggy brain was having a hard time comprehending everything that was happening. Did my mother even live here at any point in her life? The house didn't feel lived in and it still had that brand new house smell of fresh paint and newly laid carpet. I was confused by the entire situation, but still grateful in my confusion. As much as I wanted to hate my mother for what she did to me, I was finding it harder to as time went on.

  I was halfway out to the garage to go get myself some essentials, but I stopped when I realized I was still wearing my salt ridden clothes from the night before. I ran over to my bag and made my way upstairs. I wasn't comfortable using my mother's bathroom or bedroom for that matter, even if she didn't live here, so I opted for the guest bath and the room that I could only assume was meant for me.

  I turned on the water as hot as I could get it, and waited for the steam to engulf me before I pulled the curtain back and entered. The scolding hot water was relaxing as it hit my skin, leaving a burning trail as the drops of water rolled off of me. After I was done washing up, I sat in the tub under the water, contemplating my next step in life. Unfortunately, my plan wasn't what it was supposed to be and now I was at a loss as to what I was supposed to do. Of course, all thoughts and plans led to Tristan, but that wasn't an option anymore. Although I knew how I felt about him, what he had done to London was almost unforgivable. As much as I needed him in my life, I was fearful of the cost of having him in it.

  The water started to run cold, and I decided that it was probably best to get out and get ready for the day. I still needed to go to the store and I had my appointment with Mr. Rollins in just a few hours. I had basically slept the day away and I was running behind. I dressed in one of my nicer pair of jeans, a long sleeve navy and white striped lightweight sweater and dried my hair. Once my hair was done, I put on a little bit of mascara and headed downstairs to make a small grocery list. I wasn't sure where the closest store was, but I would make sure to map it out on my phone before I left.

  As I hit the last step, there was a small knock at the door. I wasn't sure who even knew I was here, so I headed to answer it praying that that little bitch Nancy wasn't back to make my day worse.

  I checked through the side window and saw a small older woman standing there with what looked to be a small cake in her hands. I pulled the door open and smiled at the tiny woman. "Hi."

  "Well hi there. You must be Riley."

  "I am, but I'm sorry I have no idea who you are."

  "Oh I'm so sorry dear. I'm Lucy. I live just to the right of you. Your mother told me to look out for you and to make sure you felt welcome in the neighborhood."

  "Well thank you, Lucy. Did you know my mother well?"

  "I did, dear. I'm sorry for your loss, although I'm not sure if I should even say that given the history you two had." Apparently my mother had confided in this woman more than I would've thought. "I'm sorry, I'm probably overstepping my bounds here. I tend to do that. It's just that, your mother asked me to watch out for you and to keep an eye on that little twit, Nancy."

  I couldn't help the small giggle that escaped from between my lips. "Oh, so you've had the pleasure of meeting her?" I joked.

  "I've met her twice, and both times, I could've pulled that little entitled shit's hair out. She's very condescending that girl. And let me tell you, she is very jealous of you."

  "Of me? Why? She had the chance to know my mother, I didn't."

  "I know it seems that way, dear, but your mother loathed that little girl from the time she met her. She was always such a little brat and her mother, oh my. Her mother is just a grown up version of her. I'd watch your back if I was you."

  "Well thanks for the advice, Lucy. I think I'm going to like you." I smiled. Lucy was a little spitfire and at her age that was awesome. She had to be in her late sixties, but man she sure was spunky.

  "This is for you." She handed me the small cake in her hands, and I felt bad for not even asking to take it from her before now. "Now, make sure you come over and say hi every now and then. I'd like to share some stories with you."

  "I would like that. Thanks so much." Lucy turned to head back over to her house when I remembered I didn't know where a damn store was. I leaned over the porch railing to get her attention. "Lucy, can you tell me where the closest store is?"

  "Go down that way towards the other gates and go left. The store is about six blocks up."

  "Thanks." I waved at Lucy and made my way back inside. I grabbed the keys, my money and made my way out to the garage. When I stepped into the echoey space, the lights illuminated one by one depending on where I went. I hadn't noticed before, but along with the Mercedes there was also a brand new pickup truck and two wave runners on a trailer. Apparently my mother was into water sports, or at least that was the impression I was getting.

  I climbed into the car and literally sank into the deep leather seats. They were so plush I swear I could've slept out here and have been just fine. I wasn't used to having the finer things in life and it was a little weird to be driving this brand new car that technically wasn't even mine. I was used to having to bust my ass to get anything in life, especially a car. I wasn't able to buy one until I was eighteen, my foster parents wouldn't allow it, and honestly, I couldn't have afforded one anyway. I started working when I was fifteen and saved every single cent I had made between then and now, and by the time I turned eighteen I was able to get a pretty decent car. It wasn't much, but it was mine and I had earned it.

  I backed out of the driveway and made my way up towards the other gate that Lucy said existed. I noticed each and every house as I passed them. They seemed to get bigger as the road wound up and at the very end, just before the gate, sat a small group of condominiums. Now those were more my style. I noticed that there were only two buildings with maybe five condos in each building and found it rather odd that these small, but nice looking condos would be at the end of this pretty upscale neighborhood.

  Before I could finish thinking about it, the gate in front of me was opening and I quickly made my way out, as to not get hit by it if I took too long. I took a left and went up six blocks just as Lucy said and almost ran right into the small market off to the right. It was such a cute neighborhood and I was slowly beginning to understand why my mother had chosen here to live. Everybody seemed super nice and they all made up their own little town almost. It was more than I could've ever asked for.

  I parked and as I made my way into the store a few minutes later, I decided to call and see if Blake was still at the hospital. I hadn't talked to her since I left and I just needed to know that she was doing okay.

  "Psychiatric ward, this is Jan."

  "Hi Jan, it's Riley."

  "Well hey there. How are you liking your new place?"

  "It's nice. It's a little too big for my taste, but it works. Hey, I was just curi
ous. How's Blake doing?"

  "Mr. Rollins didn't call you?"

  My nerves were on high alert as I waited for the bad news I knew was coming. "No, what happened?"

  "Blake checked herself out, right after you left. She didn't leave a forwarding address or number to reach her at. I'm so sorry, Riley. I know you two were getting close."

  Obviously not that close. "That's okay. Thanks Jan. Oh and if you do happen to see or hear from her, could you let her know I called?"

  "I will, honey. Have a good day now."

  "You too."

  I hung up the phone feeling a little sad and disappointed in Blake. I guess when people leave, sometimes they just need to be. I grabbed a cart and pulled my list from my back pocket. There wasn't a whole lot I needed to survive, but I was going to splurge on a few things given the fact that I had a little bit more money to my name than I had originally thought. I made my way down the coffee/breakfast aisle when the aroma of the coffee beans almost knocked me off my feet. I grabbed three bags and poured them into the grinder. As I was waiting for my beans to empty into the bag below me, I noticed a familiar face making it's way towards me. I wanted to run and hide, to save myself the heartache, but then I wanted to know why he was even out this way. He was still as beautiful as I remember and I couldn't help my heart from racing just looking at him. The anger I had felt had disappeared and been replaced once again with nothing but love.

  I shook my head out of it's stupid love daze and turned just enough so that he couldn't see my face. Maybe he would just keep walking and never recognize me. I wasn't that lucky.

  "Riley?"

  Shit. I closed my eyes and counted to ten before I turned and fell under his spell. "I thought that was you. How...how are you?"

  "I'm good." I whispered without making eye contact.

  "Good." He was fidgeting and pushing his hands into his front pockets. Why was it so hard for him to talk to me?

  "That's good." I glanced up and caught the sad look on his face. "Riley, I'm really sorry, for everything. I never meant to hurt you."

  "I know you didn't, Tristan." I was waiting for him to say something, anything to win me back, to show that he wanted to fight for me.

  "Well, I'm glad your good. If you need anything, just know I'm close by." And just like that we were back at square one. He went to move his cart past me, but stopped suddenly and turned back towards me. "I miss you, Riley."

  My heart melted and the millions of butterflies in my stomach took flight. It was something. "I miss you too, Tristan." I smiled at him, but his face held a stoic expression. "Hey Tristan, what are you doing here? I mean, I guess I was just wondering how you knew I was here."

  "I didn't know you'd be here. My condo is just up the road." Holy shit. Knowing that Tristan was so close to me put me at ease, but also had me feeling a little self-conscious.

  "Oh." I know how stupid I sounded, but it was all I could think to say at the time. He started making his way out of the aisle and I wanted to reach out for him, I wanted to say something else, but I was stuck in the middle of the aisle unable to move. Then he was gone. I wasn't sure if I would get to see him again, but something deep down told me I would. I just knew it wouldn't be soon enough.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Tristan

  I finished getting my groceries and left before I had another chance of running into Riley. Although it wasn't awkward to see her or even talk to her, I couldn't act the way I wanted around her and that was killing me. As I made my way out to my car, I noticed a familiar blonde, headed in my direction. I wasn't quite sure where I had seen her before, but I didn't have to wait long until she recognized me.

  "Tristan, is that you? Oh my gosh, it is. How are you?" For the life of me I couldn't remember her name. This was going to get real awkward, real quick. "You don't remember me do you?" I could sense the irritation in her voice.

  "I don't. I'm sorry."

  "Oh that's okay. I'm Riley's mother's attorney, Nancy."

  Damn it. Now I remembered her, and as quickly as I remembered her, I wanted to forget her. "That's right. How are you?" I was silently hoping she wouldn't want to talk too long just in case Riley was coming out anytime soon.

  "I'm great now that I've run into you. I haven't seen you since before Ms. Turner's passing. How have you been?"

  "I'm good. I'm actually in a hurry though, sorry." I was hoping she couldn't see through my fake enthusiasm in seeing her.

  "Oh really, that's a bummer. I was hoping we could catch up. Maybe get some coffee or something?"

  Was this girl serious? Even if my entire heart didn't belong to Riley, I would never be interested in this girl. She was so far beyond my type it was laughable. "I don't think so, Nancy. I'm sorry, but I need to get going." I had finished putting my groceries in my trunk and was on my way to return the cart, when Nancy grabbed my hand and pulled it close to her chest.

  "Not even coffee, really?" She was trying her hardest to be sexy, but forced sexy was the most unattractive thing I'd ever seen.

  I shook my head in mock amusement at her little charade, but then I noticed what she had kept looking at behind me. My eyes locked with hers and I quickly dropped Nancy's hand. I could tell by the look on Riley's face that she knew exactly who Nancy was, but why was she giving me the evil stare. Did she really think I was interested in Nancy, and then it dawned on me, she did.

  "Riley, wait!"

  "Goodbye Tristan." She closed her car door and sped out of the parking lot like a bat outta hell. I ran over to my car and tried to catch up to her, when I caught sight of the smirk Nancy wore upon her face. That bitch was up to something and by getting Riley involved, that put her in my line of sight and I had no problem destroying her just like London.

  I caught up to Riley at the gate and threw my car in park before I ran towards her car. She had the window down ready to punch in the code when I caught her hand. "Riley, please let me explain."

  "Doesn't that always seem to be the case with you, Tristan? There's always something you feel you need to explain."

  "Well if you would just listen and stop being so god damned stubborn, then maybe you would understand the situation."

  "I don't need to understand the situation, Tristan. I knew when she asked about you the other day that you two had met before. I don't care what your relationship with her was, and I don't want to know. I just want to live my life and not be bothered by you again. Understand?"

  I dropped her hand in shock. "You couldn't possibly mean that?"

  "I do, Tristan. Just leave me alone. Obviously what I thought was there between us, clearly isn't the same for you, so please just let me go."

  "Riley, that's just not true. Please just let me explain."

  "I'm sorry Tristan, no."

  I moved out of her way and let her ease through the gate, leaving me in her wake of destruction. I knew she didn't really mean it, but that didn't make it hurt any less. I stood there, watching her car disappear down the street before I finally got back in mine and made my way home. I knew what I needed to do, but I was going to need help doing it. I needed to fight for her and not physically this time. I threw the car in park, grabbed my groceries and ran up the steps to the front door.

  "Grace, you here?"

  "Yeah, what's up?"

  "I need your help, Gracie. I need to win Riley back. I need to prove to her that she can trust me. Please help me Grace?"

  "Of course I will. Now let's devise a plan."

  "Maybe I should tell you what just happened first."

  After I filled Grace in on what happened at the store, she was ready to kill Nancy herself. I got her calmed down enough to help me put into effect the "get Riley back" plan and then we decided to go get some lunch. The plan we came up with wasn't anything extravagant and I just hoped that it would work without pushing Riley further away from me. I guess we would see, soon.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Riley

  My run-in with Tristan and Nancy st
ill had me worked up when I showed up to my appointment with Mr. Rollins. I guess it was a good thing that I was going to have him to vent to about the whole situation. As much as I didn't want to be jealous of whatever Tristan had with Nancy, I was. I knew it was irrational to be mad over something that possibly happened before he even knew me, but I still found it hard to look at him without picturing them together.

  I signed in with the receptionist at Mr. Rollins’ office and waited patiently for him to call me back. I picked up a magazine on the table and pretended to skim through it as I waited, but honestly I couldn't think of anything else but Tristan. I was pushing him away and I was aware of it, but I was still in self-preservation mode and I wasn't willing to let him break my heart into a thousand pieces. I just wasn't strong enough to handle that right now.

  "Riley."

  I placed the magazine back on the table and stood when I heard Mr. Rollins call my name. "Hi, Mr. Rollins."

  He led me into his office and pointed at a small black leather couch and a matching chair. "Please, sit wherever you're comfortable."

  I opted for the couch. I was exhausted from everything that had happened this morning and I just needed to relax a little bit. I sat back and kicked my feet up on the small coffee table in front of me, but quickly pulled them back when I realized maybe he didn't mean that comfortable.

  "It's okay, Riley. You can put your feet up. I actually encourage it. So, tell me how you've been over the last twenty four hours."

  "Well, I made it to my mother's house okay, but then I had a mini breakdown after I went in the ocean."