Wicked Love

by Michelle Dare

  He stumbled over a word and she went still.

  No!

  Erik read once more and continued on. Her body jerked again. The lights flickered and a wind that shouldn’t exist ripped through the enclosed space. Papers blew off his desk. The chair swiveled across the floor before it tipped.

  He kept reading.

  Her body arched off the table. Bones and muscles moved beneath the skin—and if she’d been awake, or alive, it would have been excruciating. Screams would have escaped her.

  But Erik didn’t have time to cringe.

  He kept reading.

  When the insides stopped slithering beneath the surface, her body fell to the table. The skin where he’d stitched the pieces together mended into bright red scars. Then they faded.

  The skin tones shimmered beneath the overhead lights as the storm raged somehow both in and out of the basement. Her skin morphed from light to tan, and settled somewhere in the middle.

  He kept reading.

  The lights above him popped. A gust of wind slammed into him so hard, his hip crashed into the desk. Pain radiated, but he ignored it, reading against the elements that shouldn’t be in his basement. Despite the panic and the surrealism, despite his rational brain telling him that this couldn’t be happening, he continued.

  He spoke the last word.

  Lenore took her first breath.

  1

  I made a BLT with a side of barbecue chips and served it to Erik at the kitchen table. He smiled and tugged on my shirt. My heart fluttered, and I leaned down so he could kiss me. He smelled of dirt and sweet grass. He’d spent the morning clearing the way for a new gazebo in the backyard. Sweat from his face left a salty taste on my lips.

  “Sorry.” He wiped it away with a rag from his pocket.

  I chuckled and kissed him again. “Don’t be. I love your kisses, no matter what.”

  The floor creaked under my bare feet as I walked to the other side of the table. I sat down in front of my plate, stomach growling from hunger. Nerves caused butterflies to flutter in the hollow space. I hoped the food would help give me courage, but really, the desire to eat wasn’t there.

  Just the desire for answers.

  He’d been working in the yard all morning, but it would still take a while to finish since he didn’t want to contract outside help. When he finished, we would string up lights and enjoy sitting in the gazebo at night. Just the two of us watching the stars or listening to music. Physical work always put him in a good mood. I figured that, along with his favorite lunch, might give me an edge.

  “Erik?”

  He looked up from his phone. A bit of mayo rested on his chin and it made me smile. I took a napkin and leaned forward, wiping it off.

  “You should have done that with your tongue.” He waggled his brows.

  I laughed. “Absolutely insatiable.”

  “Only for you.”

  My heart skipped a beat.

  “Tell me something?” I asked. “Just... something small?”

  He frowned, the lust fading from his light blue eyes. “We’ve been over this, Lenore. You’re not likely to get your memories back. Dwelling on the past...”

  “I won’t dwell!” I gripped the edge of the table. “I promise.”

  A promise I made every time. Erik worried that if I held onto what was before, we’d never be able to move forward. That I’d just keep wanting what I’d lost.

  What we’d lost.

  How could I mourn and move on from something I didn’t know? When I woke up in our bedroom, everything seemed strange. It had been surreal. I’d been a blank slate with no memories, or even shadows of who I was.

  The only thing that grounded me was Erik. I don’t know how I knew him, but I did. I was sure of it. And I knew he could protect me. When I asked him about it later, why he was the only thing that seemed familiar, he smiled and kissed my head.

  “Our love transcends even the worst horrors of the world,” he said.

  And it had. But I still desperately wanted answers about who I was—or who I had been.

  Erik sipped his water and leaned back in the chair. The muscle in his jaw bulged, tension running through his face.

  “Please,” I said. “Just something small.”

  His gaze flicked to me, and for a moment it was hard. As if I’d made him angry somehow. I shrank back from that look, ready to take back my plea.

  “Hey.” He got up and walked around the table. “I’m sorry. I know I get frustrated. I just don’t want to see you get hurt—again.”

  Again.

  I still didn’t know what happened the first time. Just that it had been an accident.

  I nodded, my throat tight with emotion. He brushed a strand of black hair away from my face and sighed.

  “Your favorite flower,” he said. “It’s daffodils.”

  That small bit of information made me smile. Daffodils. I tried to imagine them, but couldn’t place the actual flower. “Show me?”

  He kissed me and stood up to grab his phone. “It’s a spring flower. But you plant them in the fall. Since it’s October, now would be a good time.”

  I bit my bottom lip, impatient to see what they looked like.

  Smiling, he turned the phone around. Bright yellow and white flowers crowded the screen. Six petals, the description said, with a trumpet shape center. My breath hitched. They were beautiful, and immediately I understood why I loved them. Suddenly, I wanted enough seeds to spread all around the gazebo, have them bloom and grow after the harsh winter.

  “They’re gorgeous!” I took the phone, holding it tight as I scrolled through a few more pictures.

  “You always thought so,” he said.

  “Do you think we could get some seeds?”

  He took the phone back and nodded. “I think that’s doable.”

  I bounced in my seat and snagged a chip. “Oh! That reminds me. We need a few things from the store, anyway. Would it be okay if I went?”

  “I think we can swing it.”

  Excitement pumped through my veins. Going out was a treat. It didn’t happen often. Erik worried because of the accident. It was two months before he let me go out of the house for the first time. We went to a park. Took a stroll. Even longer before he’d let me go to the store with him. And longer still to let me go on my own.

  “Straight to the store and back.” He held up a finger. “I can’t lose you.”

  I didn’t want to be lost. Every fiber of my being wanted to be with him. I honestly didn’t think I could survive without Erik by my side. Plus, it had taken so long to gain this privilege. I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that.

  “Of course!” I nodded.

  He took my hand, and with a gentle tug, pulled me out of my seat. I put my other hand to his chest, bracing myself from bumping too hard against him. A chuckle escaped me, but he stole most of it with a kiss. A moan replaced the sound as I slid hands over his shoulders, fingers kneading into the powerful muscles of his back.

  Before I could fall too deeply into the kiss, he spun me around and bent me over the table. The plates clattered on either side of my head.

  I let out a surprised gasp, resting my cheek against the soft texture of the cloth, my hands pressed flat on either side of me. Erik flipped my skirt up and pulled my panties down, driving into me without hesitation. I cried out in a mix of pain and pleasure, but just that kiss made me so wet for him. My body adjusted as he pulled from me and thrust in again. The pain gone now, Erik found a hard, merciless pace.

  He held a hand against my back, my breasts pressed between my body and the table. The wood creaked beneath me, the lip of the table pushing into my thighs for an added sensation. A plate fell, shattering on the floor by our feet. Bits of glass bit into my ankle, but the pain barely registered as Erik continued to fill me. My fingers gripped the cloth, desperate for something to hold on to as he brought me closer.

  He moved his hand from my back, sliding up and around the front of my throat. His fi
ngers squeezed, and I gasped, a shock of mild fear rushing through me. But Erik would never really hurt me. The pain that came from making love was wild and primal.

  His fingers tightened around my throat as he pulled me up, my back flush against his chest, but I could still breathe. This new angle let him drive deeper, and the pleasure it brought was enough to drive me mad. I reached up, gripping his arms, so lost in sensations I didn’t think I’d hold out much longer.

  “You are mine, Lenore.”

  My eyes rolled back from the intensity of it all. His fingers tightened around my throat again, restricting air flow slightly. I didn’t panic. I craved it. Erik possessed me so completely there was no room for fear.

  Only love.

  “Say it,” he all but growled in my ear.

  “I belong to you!”

  He pinched my nipple so hard it hurt. His lips captured my ear. The climax crashed into me, combining the sensations so hard that I bucked against him. But he held me tight, driving into me through the orgasm, making it ride higher. The peak hit and before I could come down, another wave of pleasure hit. We cried out together as he grew even larger, thrusting one last time. He held himself deep inside, grinding his hips against me.

  As the orgasm faded, I nearly collapsed against him.

  He caught me and gave a soft chuckle. “I’ve got you, my sweet Lenore.”

  2

  The cart’s wheel squeaked every third step. A high-pitched sound that drowned out my inaudible hum. The daffodil packets sat in the top child seat, the seeds shaking inside as I walked along. Erik gave me enough allowance for everything on the list, and a few dollars more, just in case. At home, he’d take the change and receipt, making sure it added up. Then he’d help put the groceries away before we’d come together again.

  I smiled with anticipation. After, we could plant the daffodil seeds together. Maybe not near the gazebo since it wasn't done yet. Not until it was finished, but there was a small patch of dirt just off to the right of the deck that we could start with.

  For now, though, I took my time walking the aisles to get what we needed.

  As much as I couldn’t wait to be with him again, I also enjoyed the independence of coming to the supermarket. It gave me a sense of freedom. My decisions and actions were my own. Not that Erik was controlling. Well, not exactly. He was protective—sometimes over protective. But he worried ever since the accident. He wanted to make sure I stayed safe. Considering how close he’d been to losing me, I couldn’t begrudge him that need.

  At least, I shouldn’t. Sometimes, it could be very smothering though.

  A soft, pulsing ache started in my chest, just where my heart was. I’d had it a few times before, and Erik told me it was just an aftereffect from the accident. Nothing to worry about. It always faded within a few moments.

  Even now. The ache dissipated and I let out a soft sigh, grateful for the relief.

  “It can’t be.” A deep male voice said.

  I didn’t recognize it, and I was sure he must have been talking to someone else.

  “No...” Disbelief radiated in the word.

  My arm froze, outstretched, reaching for a bag of rice.

  The man, large and foreboding in his presence, descended upon me so swiftly I didn’t have time to react. He towered above me, like a giant among mortals. His short blond hair seemed almost translucent in the supermarket's light. Fear ignited in my belly as his intense green eyes bore into me.

  “Sandra?” He reached out as if to touch my cheek.

  I stepped back, just out of reach. My hip bumped the shelf. The groceries shuffled, but nothing fell.

  “My name isn’t Sandra. You’re mistaken.”

  Rice forgotten, I gripped the cart and hurried past him.

  He grabbed my arm, and I jumped, trying to pull away. His fingers dug into my flesh. My heart thundered as he jerked me close. I stumbled against the cart and it crashed into the shelves. A box of crackers fell to the floor, rushing across the linoleum with a hiss.

  My heart thundered in my chest, the roar reaching my ears. It made me dizzy.

  Aside from first waking up, I couldn’t remember ever having such icy fear. My body refused to move, each muscle paralyzed. I couldn’t even blink as I took slow, shallow breaths. I wished Erik were here. This was his fear come to life. He worried something would happen to me while I was away from him and he wouldn’t be there to protect me.

  I wished he were here. The man wouldn’t dare approach if Erik had been with me.

  Those cold, green eyes seemed to harbor rage, hate, and passion in a volatile mixture. But I didn’t understand how it could be for me. I’d never seen this man before. At least not that I could remember. And even if he’d been someone I once knew, what could I have done to cause him to look at me in such a way?

  “How are you here?” he asked.

  His breath smelled acrid, like he hadn’t brushed his teeth in weeks. I pulled against his grip, eager to get away.

  “Please,” I said. “Just let me go.”

  “Damn it, Sandra!” He shook me. “Don’t play games with me!”

  My teeth rattled together from the force, and I tried to pull away again. “Stop!”

  “Hey!” An unfamiliar voice said. “Let her go.”

  The man released me, and I stumbled back, rubbing my arm. His fingers left a red shadow on my arm, and judging from the dull ache, it would probably bruise later.

  The unknown man, tall and broad shouldered, stepped slightly in front of me, partially obscuring me from the aggressor.

  “You need to take a step back.” He had a southern lilt to his words.

  Something like a growl of annoyance came from the aggressor. The sound of it sent a cold spike straight through my spine. I shivered, closing my eyes as if it might make him disappear. But even with my eyes closed, the sharp nose and angular jaw of his broad face were prevalent in my mind.

  I opened my eyes.

  The aggressor held up his hands. “Sorry. Thought she was someone else.”

  “Well, since she’s not someone else, you best be on your way,” the Southern man said.

  After a moment of hesitation, the aggressor stalked down the aisle, pivoting on his heel as he turned the corner and disappeared.

  A breath rushed from my chest. My lungs ached with the release. I gripped the edge of the cart, my knees trembling with exertion to hold me upright.

  “Whoa!” The Southern man gripped my elbow.

  Where the aggressor's touch had been violent, this man’s touch was gentle, but firm enough to keep me from falling over.

  “Are you all right, ma’am?” he asked.

  My hip throbbed where it banged into the cold metal cart. The skin on my arm would most definitely bruise. Something I would have to explain to Erik.

  I nodded. Considering everything, it could have been much worse. That horrible man could have dragged me out of the store. Instead, a handsome southern gentleman stepped in and saved the day. The fear receded, leaving me weak in its wake.

  “Yes… just a bit shaken, I guess?”

  Admittedly, shaken seemed to be a mild description. When Erik warned me of the dangers, it always made the world seem like a cold, horrifying place. He scheduled everything. Even his birthday. He didn’t like surprises. Said there were too many dangerous variables. Until this moment, I hadn’t thought he might be right.

  “That’s common after a situation like this.” The Southern man slowly pulled his hand away.

  When I didn’t fall over, he bent down and picked up the box of crackers.

  “Situation like this?”

  I pulled the cart away from the shelves, catching a can of tuna as it fell.

  “Nice reflexes.” He smirked at me.

  My trembling hand seemed foreign. Like someone else had reached out. I’d barely even seen the can and yet caught it with no problem.

  “I guess...” I put the tuna back.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” he ask
ed.

  Concern blazed in his brown eyes. My heart skipped a beat, as if I just registered his closeness.

  Goosebumps rippled across my arms. Something fluttered in my belly, and it startled me to realize that I found this man with his dark brown eyes and chestnut hair stunningly attractive.

  Something inside me twinged with guilt. No man should compare to my Erik. No man should even be on my radar.

  It’s just because of the situation.

  I kept telling myself that. Yet, this man somehow made my mouth go dry with need.

  The ache in my chest blossomed again, and I sucked in a breath.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?” He stepped closer, hands spread out as if ready to catch me.

  The pain receded, and I cleared my throat. “Nothing. I’m fine.”

  His brows pressed together as he pulled a black leather wallet from his back pocket. “My name is Cooper Walsh.” He opened the wallet and pulled a card from it. “I’m a psychiatrist. If you find yourself needing to talk, call me. Or email. Whatever you’re more comfortable with.”

  Forcing a smile, I took the card. “Thank you.”

  To be polite, I put the card in the inside pocket of my purse. The one reserved for tampons and panty liners. Only I didn’t have feminine hygiene products. The accident caused extreme internal damage. The doctors removed my uterus and ovaries. No menstrual cycle—but also no children.

  “What’s your name?” Cooper asked. “In case you reach out, it’s good to know.”

  He flashed a smile, and a dimple appeared in his left cheek. I bit my lip, my brain taking a moment to process my name.

  “Uh, um. Oh, right.” I traced the edge of my left brow. My cheeks warmed from embarrassment. “Lenore.”

  His smile widened. “It definitely suits you.”

  The butterflies came back.

  “Thank you.”

  My brain stopped processing, unable to form coherent sentences beyond a few words. Too many emotions and so much confusion in a brief span.