Wicked Love

by Michelle Dare

“Take care, Lenore.” He walked past me toward his cart.

  I couldn’t resist the urge to look.

  My cheeks flushed as I ogled his backside. Swiftly, I turned away and walked in the other direction.

  A renewed sense of guilt settled in my belly, chasing away the butterflies. It may have been because I found Cooper attractive. It may also have been because I didn’t plan to tell Erik the truth of what happened today. If he knew, he’d revoke my privileges, and I’d never leave the house again. Erik only wanted to protect me. I knew that, but without my little taste of freedom, I might go mad.

  Besides, it had obviously been a case of mistaken identity.

  I didn’t want to upset or disappoint Erik, but I read all the time about such wonderful places. Not just foreign places like Italy, but also concerts, and beautiful restaurants. Places that people frequented regularly. But Erik wouldn’t take me. Not even to a restaurant. We ordered in, but never went out. The only place he took me was the library to get new books to read. The supermarket was the only time I had alone outside of the house. And it had been a long battle to win that bit of freedom.

  No, I couldn’t tell him.

  I gathered everything on the list, rushing a little more now that the incident had taken up so much time. I paid at the register, took the bags and walked home. I always shopped without weighing the bags down. Erik promised he’d teach me to drive soon, but he’d been saying that for a while now. Besides, he only drove when necessary. Though he never said it, I suspected the accident had something to do with a car.

  3

  It didn’t take much to smooth things over with Erik. My excuse of long lines and a slow walk home made sense. He had no reason to doubt me. We made love again, and for a while the anxiety faded. I strategically worked it so he gripped my arms, pulling them back as he took me from behind on the bed. Not for the first time. I still had my shirt on too, which helped. Not a planned detail, but it worked out. Erik always seemed to lose patience when it came to being inside me. At night, he would take his time, but during the day? There was nothing sensual about it. Just possession and raw need.

  He thrust into me as if I was the only thing grounding him to the earth. The feel of him inside me had pleasure rippling through my body in ways I couldn’t describe. It was almost euphoric, as if he was the natural aphrodisiac made specifically for me. I bucked under him, trying to gain some control, set the pace and take what I needed.

  I was so close. “Erik, please!”

  A feral growl escaped him, and he pulled out. He flipped me on my back and slammed into me. He covered me with his entire body. Pressing down as his hips mercilessly slammed between my legs. The border of pleasure and pain kept me climbing higher. He kissed me, hard and bruising. I wrapped my feet around his hips, my arms around his shoulders, and groaned into his mouth.

  My climax hit like an explosion. Stars burst behind my eyes. I screamed, clenching his cock inside me, not wanting to let go. Not wanting to lose this feeling.

  “Fuck! Lenore!” He slammed into me once more and held himself deep inside.

  The warmth of his seed brought another shock wave of pleasure. I pressed my head into the pillow, eyes rolling back as I rode the sensations.

  The pleasure washed away the last remnants of anxiety I had from earlier.

  Erik didn’t know what happened, but his touch brought comfort. His nearness made me feel safe. All the bad faded away with each thrust. He filled me, and only love remained. My heart swelled with desire for him. My body ached with need. And when we came together, nothing in the world could touch us.

  He rolled to the side and pulled me against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on my shoulders.

  “I’ll never get enough of you,” he said.

  I relaxed against him, enjoying the safety of his hold. “Same.”

  We lazed about in bed for the rest of the evening, making love and having a picnic in the bed. Erik made everything better without even knowing something was wrong. His touch chased away shadows and kisses warmed me to my very core. The hours passed quickly, and I yawned, curling up close to him.

  “Sleep.” He kissed my shoulder. “We’ll plant some daffodil seeds tomorrow.”

  I closed my eyes, but thoughts of earlier kept my mind occupied. It didn’t take long for Erik’s breathing to even out. He snored softly. Once I knew he was in a deep sleep, I slipped out of bed. I put on an oversize shirt and a pair of underwear. His phone sat on the nightstand, resting on a portable charger.

  After double checking that Erik hadn’t moved, I took the phone off the charger and slipped from the room.

  The only computer in the house was in the basement. And that was Erik’s office. He didn’t like for me to be in there. This wasn’t the first time I’d taken his phone either. I’d tried to find out information about the accident, but had no luck finding any articles or other things that might help me.

  But with the man accosting me at the supermarket, my curiosity was buzzing. I sat on the couch, the light from the phone bright in the dark living room. I searched “Lenore Franks” with “assault” and other variations. Also, since I didn’t know the name of the man at the grocery store, it was hard to search for him.

  It was a long shot, but I checked out the arrest records and mugshots—all of which were public record. I learned a lot from my books, and I couldn’t say how I understood technology so well. Maybe it’s something I knew before the accident. Muscle memory or whatever.

  Erik groaned from the room.

  I jumped and quickly erased the browsing history from his phone. My investigation into the mystery man from the supermarket would have to wait. Once the phone was clean, I turned the screen off and went back into the room. Erik still slept, but fitfully. A nightmare. He had them every couple of nights. I replaced the phone, walked to the bathroom, flushed the toilet, and then turned on the faucet to wash my hands.

  Erik turned over and looked at me with a sleepy gaze. “Lenore?”

  I smiled and slid back into bed with him. “Had to use the bathroom.”

  He slid an arm around me and snuggled close. His erection pressing against my hip.

  I swear this man was insatiable.

  That was fine by me.

  By morning, Erik asked about the bruise, a little surprised at his own strength. It was easy to pass off, mainly because it wasn’t the first time it happened. I waved it away, kissing him, first on the lips then going lower until I took him in my mouth. I loved having Erik this way. Loved feeling his hips buck underneath me. At that moment, I was in control. I was the one who could speed things up, or slow them down. It made me feel bold and powerful.

  And when he came, I knew that he belonged to me, as much as I belonged to him.

  After, we cleaned up and then went outside to plant the daffodils in the spot near the deck. Once seeds were in the ground, he got back to work on the gazebo. Heat beat down from the sun. Summer was in full swing, bringing humidity along with it. Even sitting on the porch in the shade, book in hand, I could feel it thick in the air.

  But Erik worked diligently, laying planks of stained wood for the foundation. Sweat glistened on his arms and had soaked through his green tank top. Butterfly wings rippled across my stomach as I watched him work. I loved him. It was undeniable. I’d known it the moment I woke up. Almost as if it were something physically imprinted on my being.

  Then I wondered why I had found Cooper so attractive yesterday. Why I couldn’t seem to take my eyes off him. Guilt pushed the butterflies away again and left an ache in my chest. It mixed with dread as I thought about the man who grabbed my arm. He had been so adamant I was someone else. What was the name he called me?

  Sandra.

  On TV and in books most people became embarrassed when they realized they’d been wrong. Usually it was someone who had lost a loved one, hoping to catch one last glimpse of them. But the man from the store didn’t have kindness in his eyes. A warm breeze rushed over
the goosebumps on my skin and I shivered. Something just felt totally off about the situation.

  “But who is she?”

  “Who’s who?” Erik walked over and grabbed the towel resting on the back of the other chair.

  I jumped, having been so lost in thought I hadn’t noticed his approach. He shook out the towel with one hand before wiping his face with it.

  “Oh, uh... the woman in the book.” I held it up.

  My favorite genre was mystery. Sometimes cozy, sometimes something more sinister. It just depended on my mood.

  Erik sat down and stole a kiss. I chuckled.

  “Tell me about it,” he said. “Maybe I can help solve the mystery.”

  I hesitated. Telling Erik the events too closely might tip him off, and I did not want him to become so worried that he wouldn’t let me out of the house.

  He frowned. “What is it?”

  “Nothing.” I waved him off. “I just want to figure it out on my own. You know I get obsessed.”

  The frown faded, and he rubbed the back of his head as he chuckled. “Right. I forgot how determined you are to solve the cases.”

  The ball of tension in my chest faded. “Exactly!”

  He drank some lemonade and got back to work, leaving me to the book. I pretended to read, but the incident kept playing over and over in my head. Who had that man been? And what would have happened if Cooper hadn’t stepped in? The need to solve the mystery rushed through my veins. Maybe it really had been a case of mistaken identity. Well, it had to have been. My name wasn’t Sandra, and it never had been.

  Erik wouldn’t have renamed me.

  But I knew so little about what happened before the accident. No friends, no family. Not mine or Erik’s. We stayed relatively isolated. No one came over, and there was nothing about my life prior. Why did Erik hide that information? Yes, he wanted me to not dwell on it, but despite what he said, surely there must have been people in my life.

  I had never really thought about it so deep before, but every time I brought up, Erik quickly moved into another conversation. Another topic, and somehow it quickly faded from my mind. I wondered why that was... but didn’t dwell on it too much. Maybe I just hadn’t wanted to know about my past as much. It seemed likely, because whatever happened before the accident, I would never recover. So why dwell on it?

  Even now, it seemed like knowing about my past wouldn’t end in anything good. I couldn’t get that man's hateful stare out of my mind. I couldn’t forget the way he looked at me. Like I was a woman back from the dead. That resonated with me, and no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t get it out of my head.

  The sound of the hammer cracking against wood made me jump. The book fell from my lap, hitting the concrete floor. Erik didn’t realize it as he continued working.

  I couldn’t remember ever feeling so unsettled. It was probably just because of what happened. Maybe I’d been in conflicts before, but I hadn’t been since after the accident. So my skills were most likely rusty. I had to learn how to deal with it all over again. Most likely, I was just overreacting. I wished I could talk to Erik about it, but I knew if I did, he would be the one to overreact.

  Instead, I picked up my book and opened to my most recent page, trying to forget about what happened at the supermarket.

  4

  A few days later, Erik left for a business trip. He’d be on the west coast for a few days for a work conference. He gave me the emergency cell phone. An old flip-style that did not access the internet. That made it difficult to do any research about the man in the supermarket.

  But talking to Erik helped ease the pain of him being gone. If he stayed away too long, a physical ache formed in my chest. It pulsated with the rhythm of my heart. I couldn’t explain it, and when I told Erik about it, he said it was just because I loved him so much. I missed him so much it hurt.

  He wasn’t wrong about that.

  Every time he came home, the ache disappeared, replaced with a desperate need to have him inside me. The second he walked through the door we’d shed our clothes and fall to the floor, so desperate for each other’s touch we couldn’t even make it to the bedroom. The first time we joined when he came home, well, it was never slow and sensual. Instead it was rough, primal, and by the end of it I usually had a bruise or a scratch. Sometimes even teeth marks. They were never unwanted. I relished in each sensation from Erik’s touch. The roughness of it heightened the pleasure, and somewhere in the mix of it I would always want more.

  I waved to him as he pulled out of the driveway. Even now, just watching him go I had to squeeze my thighs together as a pulse of need shot through my core in anticipation of his return. When the car disappeared down the street, I walked back inside, shutting and locking the door behind me.

  The house grew big with no one else there. So full of room that I could breathe again. Except anxiety lingered in my chest. Memories of the supermarket still pressed against the front of my mind. It almost consumed me as much as wanting to know about my past. I needed answers, and while Erik held the secrets of my past, I could still try to find out the truth about the man in the supermarket.

  Plopping into a chair, I huffed and leaned back, my gaze going up to the ceiling.

  To the air vent.

  Where I had hidden Cooper’s business card.

  If Erik had found it, he’d have been furious. I should have thrown it away as soon as I left the supermarket, but something made me keep it.

  I got up and walked into the kitchen. I hoisted out the step stool from its spot tucked in the pantry and walked back to the living room. The step stool opened with a click and I set it just beneath the vent. The cold air pushed over my shoulders and sent a chill down my spine.

  Unfortunately, I can’t say I kept the card for purely curious reasons. Cooper had also grabbed my attention, but in a much different way. I pressed my thighs together to ease the surge of need. Letting out a sigh, I walked outside to Erik’s tools and grabbed the screwdriver. I climbed up the stepladder and undid the vent. The card was taped just inside. I didn’t want it flapping around or making any noise.

  It peeled off, and I stepped down, looking at the black ink and simple logo.

  I’d had no luck figuring anything out about my past or about the incident. Maybe it was time to call in help.

  I didn’t have an email address, so the only option was to call. I dialed the number and put the phone to my ear. It rang twice before his familiar voice came on the other end of the line.

  “Dr. Walsh speaking.”

  “Um, hi. Yes. This is...” My tongue flicked over my lips. “Um, well I don’t know if you’ll remember me, actually.”

  “It helps if you start with your name,” he said in a light tone.

  “Oh, right. Lenore—we met at the grocery store the other day? When the man...” What? Grabbed her? Thought she was someone else? Scared the hell out of her?

  “Ahh, yes,” he said. “I remember. How are you doing?”

  “I’m not sure.” A breath rushed from her lungs. “I can’t get what happened the other day out of my mind, and I was hoping I could talk to you about it.”

  “Of course. I have an opening on Saturday...”

  “No!” She rubbed her hand on her thigh. “I mean, that’s... I meant off the clock. Because you were there, and maybe you could help me figure something out?”

  He hesitated, and she couldn’t blame him. They’d met once in the grocery store. Meeting a strange woman off the clock could be dangerous. Not just in a physical sense, but because of his career. Misconduct and all that.

  “Please?” she all but pleaded. “We could get coffee. My treat.”

  The little money she’d stashed away would work for this. She hadn’t realized that’s what it would be for until this moment.

  “Sure,” Cooper finally said. “There’s a shop close to the grocery store. I’ll text you the address. Six PM?”

  Relief flooded through her. Maybe now she’d be able to figure ou
t why she was so obsessed over that day. Cooper would probably put her mind at ease, say she was obsessing. And maybe she was, but that might have been because she couldn’t talk to anyone about it.

  “Thank you.”

  We hung up, and a moment later my phone buzzed. I realized I hadn’t given him the number, but these days that didn’t matter. Caller ID was on every phone available. After I spoke with Cooper, I’d need to make sure I wiped all the messages and calls from the phone. Then I’d block the number. Erik would not be happy if he knew I was talking to another man.

  I put a hand to my belly, fingers spreading over the soft fabric of my blouse. The gnawing deep inside made me feel sick. There was an inherent wrongness to all of this, and I trusted Erik to my very core. At least I thought I did. But if that were true, why didn’t I tell him that someone had tried to assault me? Made him believe that he had put the bruises on my arm, instead of the man who had.

  Great. Even though I hadn’t been the original bad guy in this scenario, the lying and secrets were leading me that way. But hopefully I’d be able to resolve this before Erik returned. Right now he was just arriving at the airport. His flight took off at 5:00 pm and it was a four-hour trip. With him thirty thousand feet up, I’d be safe to meet Cooper without being caught. I’d leave the phone home though. Just in case.

  Squaring my shoulders, I went to change. When Erik got home, this would all be over. Cooper was a psychiatrist. He’d let me know that I was obsessing over nothing. He also might think I'm mental and have me institutionalized.

  Irrational? Yes. I had paranoid moments, but who wouldn’t when they only remembered the last six months of their life?

  After changing into a pair of jeans and a cream v-neck shirt, I put on my comfortable sneakers and went for a walk. I left the phone on the table by the couch.

  The Foamy Cup, as the little independent cafe was called, had a very modern feel, with low lit lights and wooden tables. An oversize plush couch sat against the far wall, with several shelves with used books over it. Cooper sat at a corner table, his thumb flicking at the screen on his phone. He had a medium-sized cup in front of him with a plastic lid and one of those sleeves to keep his hand from getting burnt.