Believe in Me

by E. L. Todd

  Dad was in my office when Sean stepped inside.

  I didn’t expect to see him. I assumed he would be with Skye until she had full use of her arm. “Hey, Uncle Sean.”

  Dad spun on his heel and turned to his brother. “Hey, man.”

  “Hey.” Sean forced a smile then approached the desk. “The place hasn’t burned down. That’s a good sign.”

  Dad pulled him in for a hug. “You can always count on us. Conrad has been doing your job, pretty much.”

  “Good,” Sean said. “Maybe we can retire early.”

  Dad chuckled. “He hasn’t been doing that good of a job.”

  “Hey,” I said defensively.

  “So, what brings you here?” Dad asked.

  “Just wanted to make sure everything was okay,” Sean said, his hands in his pockets.

  “Everything is fine,” Dad said. “We got it. Go home.”

  He continued to stand there, something clearly on his mind.

  “What’s up?” Dad asked.

  “Have you been in my office…?” Sean asked.

  “Yeah,” Dad said. “It’s been taken care of. You can go in there.”

  “Okay…” He still didn’t move.

  “Everything okay, man?” Dad asked.

  “It’s just…” He rubbed the side of his face. “It feels different, you know?”

  “I do know,” Dad said. “Give it a few months and it’ll be back to normal.”

  “Thanks for taking care of everything,” he said. “I don’t know what I would do without you…”

  I felt out of place listening to their conversation, like I didn’t belong there.

  “Don’t mention it,” Dad said as he clapped him on the shoulder. “How’s Skye?”

  “She’s doing well,” Sean said. “It’s nice to see her smile.”

  “I’m sure she’ll be smiling a lot,” Dad said. “Especially since she’s getting married. Congrats, man. We’re finally getting rid of both of our daughters. They’re such a pain in the ass anyway.”

  Sean finally chuckled. “I guess.”

  “Cayson is a great guy,” Dad said. “You aren’t going to find someone better than him. She’s in good hands.”

  “I know,” he said. “I’m very happy for her.”

  “It could be worse,” he said. “She could be marrying someone like Slade.” He laughed at his own joke.

  Sean smiled. “Slade is a good guy. We both know that.”

  “Yeah,” Dad said seriously. “But your life is going so well. You got your wife, your daughter, and your son.”

  I knew Dad was trying to cheer him up, but I had a feeling nothing he said would make Sean feel better. I couldn’t even imagine how Sean felt.

  “We might sell the house,” Sean blurted.

  “Oh…” Dad nodded. He didn’t know what else to say.

  “Too many painful memories…”

  “Yeah, I understand that,” Dad said. “And it’ll be nice not to live down the street from you.” He nudged Sean in the side, trying to get him to laugh.

  “Yeah, it would.” Sean wouldn’t budge.

  Dad turned serious. “If you need anything let me know. I’m always here, man.”

  “I know, Mike.”

  He clapped his shoulder. “You want to go into your office together?”

  Sean nodded. “Please. I don’t want to go in there alone…”

  “You got it.” Mike put his arm around his shoulder and walked out with him.

  When I was left alone, I sat behind my desk and got back to work. But I was distracted by my ringing phone. I pulled it out of my pocket and glanced at the screen.

  It was Lexie.

  I hadn’t spoken to her much for the past few weeks. There was too much stuff going on. I didn’t return her calls most of the time. Now I felt guilty. I didn’t want her to think I was blowing her off. “Hey,” I said as I answered. “What are you wearing?”

  Her voice came out quiet, like she was sad. “Old pair of jeans.”

  “Does that mean you’re topless?” I asked hopefully.

  “No.” She didn’t react to my humor. “Just a t-shirt.”

  “Well, that’s still sexy.”

  Lexie didn’t say anything.

  I’d never had an awkward conversation before. “Everything alright?”

  “I think it’s best if we end our arrangement.” She said it quickly, like she’d rehearsed it several times.

  “Uh…why?”

  “It just no longer interests me.”

  Why was she dumping me? My heart raced in my chest. I didn’t want this to end. She was my friend and she gave me amazing sex. “Lexie, the reason why I haven’t called is because my cousin was shot and my other cousin was in the hospital. There was a shooting in my office.”

  Her attitude completely changed. “Oh my god! Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” I said. “But my cousin was hit in the shoulder. But she’s making a good recovery. No one else was seriously hurt. We’re all pretty shaken up about it though.”

  She breathed hard into the phone. “Oh my god. Why would someone do that?”

  “He had beef with my uncle,” I said. “It’s a really long story.”

  “Oh my god…” She was still in shock.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t call. I’ve just been caught up in things and I’ve had to work crazy hours because my dad is really upset and we’re down people. I haven’t even slept much.”

  “No, it’s okay,” she said. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

  “So, I get off work in an hour. You want to have dinner with me?”

  Her usually perkiness and excitement came over the phone. “I would love to.”

  “Great,” I said. “I’ll swing by your apartment when I finally get the hell out of here.”

  She chuckled. “Okay.”

  “See you then, baby.”

  “Bye.”

  “Bye.”

  Dad came back into the office when I got off the phone. He seemed down.

  “Everything okay?”

  He shrugged. “I feel bad for my brother. I’m afraid he won’t be the same.”

  “Well, it was pretty traumatic…”

  His eyes were red like he’d just been crying. “Yeah.”

  “He’s going to sell the house?”

  “He might,” he said. “Which would be a shame since there’s so many memories there. But I completely understand why they want to put it behind them.”

  “But nothing happened there,” I said. “Right?”

  Dad looked away and didn’t answer the question. “I think I’m going to take off early. I just don’t have the energy today.”

  “Okay.” I wish I could say something to make him feel better.

  “I’ll see you later.” He started to walk out.

  “Dad, wait.” I came around the desk.

  “Hmm?” He turned back to me, depression in his eyes.

  I pulled him in for a hug and embraced him. “It’s going to be okay.”

  Dad took a deep breath then squeezed me. “I know.” He released me then looked into my face. “I’m so grateful I have my two kids and they are healthy and whole.”

  “We’ll stay that way,” I said.

  “I know.” He patted my shoulder and walked out.

  I felt like I still didn’t make the situation better.

  ***

  Lexie opened the door with a beautiful smile on her face. “You always look good in a suit.”

  “But I look even better without one, right?” I gave her my best smolder.

  “It’s a tie.”

  “Good answer.”

  She shut the door behind her with her clutch in hand.

  I pulled her into my chest and kissed her before she had a chance to lock the door. My hands gripped her hips and I pulled her hard against my chest. My lips massaged hers, and they tasted like honey. Then I backed her up into the door and stuck my tongue in her mouth.

  Her hands
ran up my chest then gripped my shoulders.

  I found the strength to pull away. “I’d fuck you right now if I weren’t starving.”

  “I can wait,” she said. “I have a little class.”

  “Yeah?” I asked. “Because I have yet to see it.”

  She hit my arm playfully. “Keep it up and you won’t be getting much from me.”

  “That’s fine. I’ll just take it.”

  ***

  I poured her another glass of wine then set the bottle on the table.

  She looked at me with sparkling blue eyes that made me want to look at them forever. “So…are you doing okay?”

  “I’m doing better than most.”

  “You want to talk about it…?”

  I could tell she was trying not to pry but she wanted me to know she cared at the same time. “Yeah, I feel comfortable enough to tell you anything.”

  She was about to take a sip of her wine when her eyes softened.

  “I was in my office so I didn’t actually see anything. I just heard the first gunshot and I froze at my desk. My dad came in a second later and flipped the desk over and ordered me under it. Then he locked the door from the inside and told me not to leave. And he left.”

  “Where did he go?” she asked quietly.

  “To help my uncle. But I knew he wanted to protect me first. I’m sure Sean doesn’t blame him for that.”

  “No, I’m sure he doesn’t.”

  “Everything else I know was passed to me through my dad. Basically, the guy held my uncle at gunpoint and demanded him to hand over his daughter. He refused. When the guy tried to shoot him, Sean pushed him off and they were caught in a fight. Skye heard the gunshots and came running. She tried to help her dad get free but was shot in the process.”

  “Oh my god…” Her wine was abandoned. “She tried to save him…”

  “And she succeeded. Then my dad got involved and everything was fine.”

  “What happened to the shooter?” she asked.

  “Sean shot him in the face—five times.”

  She didn’t seem disturbed by that news.

  “Then Skye went to the hospital and had surgery. She’s fine now, thankfully.”

  “Wow…” She was speechless. “What happened to your other cousin?”

  “The shooter knocked her out. She’s pregnant so everyone was scared she may have fallen on her stomach or something.”

  “Did she…?” she asked fearfully.

  “No, everything is fine,” I said. “We got lucky.”

  “That’s a lot to go through.”

  I agreed. “My family is really shaken up over it.”

  “I know how close they are,” she said.

  “But we’ll get through it, like we always do,” I said.

  Her hand moved to mine. “And I’m always here for you.”

  I interlocked our fingers together. “I know.”

  Her thumb rubbed against mine. “When you weren’t returning my calls I just assumed you were bored with me.” She looked at her wine glass as she spoke.

  “Not at all,” I said. “I’m sorry I made you think that.”

  “You’ll tell me, right?” she said quietly. “You won’t just stop talking to me?”

  “Of course,” I said. “I wouldn’t just blow you off.”

  She returned her gaze to me, more relaxed.

  The waiter brought our food and I was grateful. I was starving. I didn’t even eat lunch today. I had to skip it because I had back-to-back meetings. Dad and I had to make sure the shooting didn’t get leaked to the press. It would hurt our image. We even had to pay off a reporter.

  Lexie shoveled the food into her mouth like she hadn’t eaten in years.

  I was so hungry I didn’t make conversation. I just wanted to eat.

  “Work has been busy?” she asked.

  “I don’t have much of a life right now. When everyone comes back to work, things will be easier.”

  “Is there anything I can do to help?”

  “A good blowjob would be nice.” I was half-joking, half being serious.

  She smiled my way. “I was thinking about bringing you lunch or giving you a back massage. But duly noted.”

  I chuckled. “While men love food and back rubs, we love sex more.”

  “I learn something new every day.”

  I smiled at her over my plate then kept eating.

  “Other than that, what’s new with you?”

  I tried to think of something. “I’m going to be an uncle.”

  “Trinity is having a baby?” she asked incredulously.

  “No,” I said with a laugh. “Clementine is having a baby. Well, she’s not my sister. She’s not my cousin either. Actually, we aren’t related. But, she’s still family—in a complicated way. Anyway, she’s having a boy.”

  “That’s so exciting,” she said. “Babies are so much fun.”

  “I know,” I said. “He’s going to be an awesome ball player.”

  “Why do you say that?” she asked.

  “Because I’m going to teach him.”

  She laughed. “Okay then.”

  “It’s the one ray of sunshine we have in our family right now.”

  “Babies are beautiful,” she said. “That would lighten up anyone’s spirit.”

  “What’s new with you?” I asked. “Since I haven’t been around to rock your world?”

  “Who says someone else hasn’t been rocking my world.” She looked down at her plate as she ate.

  I suddenly felt sick and I didn’t know why. “You’re…sleeping with someone?” I was under the impression we were monogamous. Did I misunderstand her?

  “No,” she said. “I was just saying…”

  “Oh.” My shoulders relaxed and I kept eating. “We’re monogamous, right?”

  “Yeah.” She eyed my face. “Have you slept with anyone in the past two weeks?”

  “No,” I said. “I definitely didn’t have time to meet someone and hook up. If I wanted a booty call I would have called you.” It was easy with her. She always gave me what I wanted and she didn’t annoy me. I hung out with her afterward because I actually liked her. Chicks like her were hard to find.

  She pushed her food around and stopped eating.

  Why did it feel so tense right now? “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah,” she said. “I just…really hate cheaters.”

  “Well, I haven’t been with anyone else so we’re good.”

  “All I ask is that you be honest with me. When you meet someone else you want to be with, just tell me. Don’t beat around the bush.”

  “I won’t,” I said. “I’m always honest with you.”

  She seemed satisfied with that.

  “You’ll do the same for me?”

  “Yeah,” she answered.

  It was hard for me to picture her with anyone else but me. And it was even harder to imagine me with someone else. I knew it didn’t mean anything. But it was interesting all the same.

  ***

  I fucked her good.

  I took out all my aggression, stress, and anxiety on her. When I released inside her, weight left my shoulders. I felt better, and not just because I had an amazing orgasm. I felt good.

  I moved to the couch then lay down.

  Lexie wore my collared shirt and it reached passed her knees. Her hair was messy and all over the place. But damn, she looked hot. “You look comfy.”

  I patted my chest and told her to lay with me.

  She flashed me a smile before she crawled on top of me. “Whatcha watching?”

  “Yankee game.” I had one hand resting behind my head and the other gripped the remote.

  “What’s the score?”

  “Yankees are in the lead,” I said. “By 2 runs.”

  “Good,” she said.

  I moved my hand to her hair and massaged the back of her neck. Her hair felt soft in my fingers and I could caress it all day. Her scent came into my nose and it reminded me of
cherries.

  Lexie tucked her leg in between mine and wrapped her arm around my waist. She was feather-light, at least a hundred pounds lighter than me. I never had a cat, but if I did, I suspect this is what it would feel like if it slept on my chest.

  The Cardinals scored a run, and Lexie got heated about it. “Fucking dickheads. Is this professional baseball or the little leagues?”

  I tried not to laugh. “Get really invested, huh?”

  “What?” she said defensively. “Sometimes I wonder what the hell they’re doing.”

  I chuckled then pulled her closer to me. “I think it’s cute when you get worked up over baseball.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.” I rubbed my nose against hers.

  “Or do you just like to hear me curse?”

  “Probably both,” I admitted.

  She tilted her head and rested her chin on my chest. Her hair cascaded everywhere and it tickled slightly. She looked at me for a long time, her eyes taking me in.

  I looked back at her, no longer caring about the game. For some reason, all I cared about was her. I never noticed the way her eyes reflected the light around her. And I never noticed how they emitted their own light. They reminded me of icebergs in the artic. You could only see the tip but it was clear there was a whole ocean underneath. “You’re beautiful.” I didn’t know where those words came from. It didn’t even seem like I said them. I just blurted it out without thinking. But I meant them.

  Her eyes softened in response but she didn’t say anything. Then she moved further over me and pressed her lips to mine. This kiss was different than all the other ones. There was no heat or aggression. There was no need or desperation. It was just a simple kiss, one that wouldn’t lead anywhere. But I wanted it all the same. My hand moved into her hair and I cupped her face, feeling her soft strands. My hand moved around her back and up her shirt. Her skin was smooth like a rose pedal. The kiss went on forever but it never increased in passion. It stayed the same, remaining sensual and passionate. I gripped her tighter, never wanting to let go.

  She moved further over me, her hands cupping my cheeks. Her soft lips massaged mine then her tongue danced with mine. As a teenager I used to make out with girls for hours but it was only because I couldn’t get laid. Now I was doing it with Lexie because I wanted to. No other reason.

  My phone rang from the pocket of my jacket. It rang a few times but I kept kissing Lexie. She kept kissing me. I knew I should answer it because it might be important. But I was having a hard time pulling away from her.